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Old 11-17-2005, 10:15 AM   #41
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gosh, thanks,
the next chapter will be up soon, and a minor spoiler:

spoiler:
im not telling you what im gonna do hahahaha


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Old 11-18-2005, 01:39 PM   #42
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SEVEN


“Obi Wan!” Mace exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing; I heard you had died on Coruscant.” Obi Wan replied, astonished at seeing his former Master again.
“I managed,” Mace said unceremoniously. “And you didn’t do such a great job on Grievous either.”
Obi Wan raised his eyebrows.
“His brain was protected from the shots you pumped into him, the Separatists transplanted it into an SBD frame, Tara and I had to take care of him.”
Obi Wan nodded.
“So who’s Tara?” he asked.
The Jedi Knight stepped up and bowed.
“I am, Master Kenobi. It is an honor to finally meet you.”
Obi Wan returned the bow and turned back to Mace.
“What brings you here, Master?” he asked.
“Need for help, Obi Wan. We can’t allow the Sith to rule the Galaxy once more. They will destroy everything in their path.”
“I agree, but the Skywalker children are only six months old. And three Jedi Masters and one Knight will be no match for the Emperor’s security forces.”
“Tara is no ordinary Jedi, Obi Wan, she’s only eighteen but she can handle herself in sticky situations. She is one of the few to receive the title of Knight at such a young age.”
Obi Wan nodded and gestured into his house.
“Why don’t we continue our discussions inside?” he said. Mace and Tara walked in.
Tara headed for Obi Wan’s well equipped workbench and she began constructing her lightsaber while the Jedi Masters discussed the correct propaganda to follow.

Half an hour later, all was planned out. The most reckless thing the Jedi have ever done was about to begin. But first, they needed to pick someone up from Dagobah.

On the swampy world that Yoda picked to be his home, he listened attentively to Mace and Obi Wan’s plans. After making a few corrections, he agreed and the four Jedi got into Obi Wan’s Chyyra and took off. Their first stop: Darth Vader’s palace.


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Old 11-18-2005, 01:41 PM   #43
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EIGHT


Three stormtroopers walked down the corridor inside the Executor, Darth Vader’s portable palace. They were followed by an R2 unit that seemed to have a mind of its self, which was not saying anything, since Jedi Master Yoda was inside the R2 D2 shell.
“I don’t feel comfortable about this,” said a worried Tara. “What if they discover those troopers we left behind?”
“These people are just doing this job for the pay.” Obi Wan replied. “If they do discover them, they will probably launch them out of an airlock.”
They carried on, heading for the Bridge.
Obi Wan, Mace, Yoda and Tara had infiltrated the Executor without any interference. Their plan was simple: get to the bridge, wipe out the crew and find out a means to lure Vader there. At four-on-one, he would never survive, but Tara had her doubts.
“The bridge must be down there,” Mace said, pointing down a hallway.
“Gee, you think?” said Tara, referring to the sign that said “BRIDGE
Mace just shook his head and walked on; they reached the bridge and stopped. Obi Wan turned and reached out to the Force, Mace followed suit, but facing the other side. Together, they used the Force to cause the roof to cave in on the Hallway, blocking it. This done, Yoda used the Force to pop open the top of the R2 shell.
“A lightsaber, I have not.” he said. “Use the Force, I will.”
Tara looked down at the twin lightsabers hanging from her belt and she unclipped one.
“Here, Master,” she said, offering Yoda her lightsaber. “Use mine.”
Yoda could fell the inner pain in Tara at giving up her handcrafted beauty and shook his head.
“Need it, I do not,” he said.
“I insist, Master, there will be a whole load of troops on the other side, you will need a weapon”
Yoda took it reluctantly and ignited it, the blade throwing a pale green glow on his already green face.
“Many thanks, Young One.” he said.
The others ignited their lightsabers and Obi Wan slapped the control panel. The door opened with a hiss, revealing Vader, lightsaber ignited and at hand, alone.
“Master Windu, you survived.” was all he said.
The Jedi leapt into action.


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Old 11-18-2005, 05:50 PM   #44
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I can't wait to find out what is going to happen. Keep it up.
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Old 11-18-2005, 08:00 PM   #45
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Vader vs four jedi. I don't care how chosen he is I don't think he can live. He doesn't get another mechanical limb does he?


Let's kill ourselves.

Last edited by Hallucination; 11-18-2005 at 11:08 PM.
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Old 11-18-2005, 10:49 PM   #46
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Mace is one of my fave characters in the saga an all but for god sake he's dead, your stories good an all but i don't know why people still cling to the idea that he may have survived. It does not fit into later events unless he was totally incapictated an could not walk or whatever other wise im sure he would have done something about the empire situation.I don't buy it, i rekon he's dead for sure.
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Old 11-18-2005, 11:08 PM   #47
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^^You're a fun person aren't you? [/sarcasm]
This is a place where writers come to practice, and post their ideas. And to get constructive criticism. Not to hear how 'bad' their ideas are.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 11-19-2005, 12:18 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malak84
Mace is one of my fave characters in the saga an all but for god sake he's dead, your stories good an all but i don't know why people still cling to the idea that he may have survived. It does not fit into later events unless he was totally incapictated an could not walk or whatever other wise im sure he would have done something about the empire situation.I don't buy it, i rekon he's dead for sure.
Jesus, don't you think your just a little cruel? I mean, everybody has their own opinion, but your just being cruel.

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Old 11-19-2005, 02:33 AM   #49
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Smile

Hey maybe that was a little unfair... but im just stating my opinion on what happened, i mean your story an the way it's been written is all good it's just that the idea of him surviving just kinda drains everything away from that tense scene in revenge of the sith. Im not to into EU stuff but i enjoyed shatter point an the mace windu character, i rekon you could do a better job going back to pre episode 1 an do some fan fiction on his times before his untimeley death, i understand that it was bad to see him killed but that was one of if not the most emotional parts of the movie for me an that scene would mean nothing if mace did survive.But anyways im sorry if i offended anyone just giving my 2cents on things.
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Old 11-19-2005, 11:48 AM   #50
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you didnt offend anyone, though if you still cling to your idea after i explaing, then you will.
i am aware that if mace continues doing reckless stuff like this, it will affect the ANH storyline, thats is precisely why i set chapter four onwards 6 months after RotS. ANH takes place around 18 years after RotS to thats plenty of time. i hope you 'get' my drift, i just explained a major part of my story here. cheers to whoever can figure it out.


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Old 11-22-2005, 11:27 AM   #51
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this chapter is kinda short, since i had my Acer ctate efficiency exams, i could write little. here it is, and Hall, you were on the right track buddy
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NINE


Even at four on one, Vader had the upper hand; he kept propelling three Jedi back with the Force and dueling for a few seconds with one then doing the same again with the others. Mace found this annoying and jumped back. He took off his helmet and threw it at Vader from the back. As he turned to slice it away, Yoda jumped up and took off Vader’s lightsaber hand from the wrist and sliced off Vader’s prosthetic left leg upon landing.
“You cannot win, Anakin.” Obi Wan said as Vader fell to the ground. “This time at least, and see through the lies of Palpatine.”
“You are a fool, Obi Wan.” he said and pushed himself up using the Force. He summoned his lightsaber to his left hand and held it there. At this, Tara removed her helmet, letting her hair fall down.
“Tara.” Vader said, mildly surprised. “You have been fooled by the lies of the Jedi too?”
“The Sith are evil, Anakin.” Tara said desperately. “Come back to us.”
“You underestimate the power of the Dark Side.” Vader said and all of a sudden, he used the Force to propel Yoda, Obi Wan and Mace into an open escape pod hatch. With the Force, he set the controls to make it land on the nearest planet and initiated the drive. The pod ripped free and rocketed off into open space. Back on the Executor, Tara was being fitted with electro magnetic binders and a Neural Inhibitor. She used to be his friend but was now Vader’s prisoner.


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Old 11-22-2005, 12:07 PM   #52
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Good work. I can't wait to see what is going to happen. Keep it up!
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Old 11-22-2005, 08:21 PM   #53
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That Vader guy sure loves getting dismembered doesn't he? . Great work RC!


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Old 11-23-2005, 11:00 AM   #54
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he sure does, thanks guys, sorry for such a short chapter.


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Old 11-23-2005, 11:51 AM   #55
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TEN


Vader flexed his replacement limbs and stood up. He gestured to a Storm Commando to follow and headed for the prison facilities. He went to Tara’s cell and typed in the password.
“Come out.” he said and Tara obeyed. Vader gestured and Tara began to walk. They walked for quite some time to the Hangar bays. They reached a Lambda class shuttle and the three of them got in. Vader gently eased it out of the Hangar. Outside, dominating the cockpit window was the city-planet, Coruscant.
Vader set the shuttle down in the hangars of Palpatine’s Palace. The Emperor was waiting to greet them.
“Lord Vader,” he said. “Welcome back.”
Vader bowed and said.
“Thank you, my Master.”
“Something is troubling you.” Palpatine said. It was not a question.
“Yes, my lord,” Vader replied. “Masters Windu, Yoda and Obi Wan Kenobi have escaped Order 66. This young Jedi was with them.”
“I take it you know this person,”
“Yes, my Lord, she was my childhood friend.”
Palpatine smiled.
“Ah,” he said thoughtfully. “Then perhaps you can train her and use her help in the destruction of the Jedi.”
“I’ll never turn,” Tara interrupted. “I’d rather die than serve the Sith.”
“You speak rashly, young one,” Palpatine said. “Under Lord Vader’s training, you will recognize what is true and untrue.”
Palpatine turned and the three of them walked into the building.
************************************************** *************
Far away in space, the escape pod came through the atmosphere of an outer rim planet and crashed down on what seemed to be a landing pad. Mace popped the hatch and the three of them jumped out. The planet gave the impression of a very boring world. People walking about, going about their business, various shops here and there and the only loud noise coming from the buzz of engines on speeders and spacecraft. Obi Wan walked to the nearest civilian and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Excuse me,” he said. “May I know the name of this planet?”
The civilian looked confused but answered nevertheless.
“Taris.” he replied.


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Old 11-23-2005, 03:00 PM   #56
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Nice work! Excellente! I really am interested in what's going to happen. for you.

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“Taris.”
Hmm??? O.o
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Old 11-23-2005, 07:35 PM   #57
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Taris? They love getting Jedi to land there in escape pods don't they?


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Old 11-24-2005, 12:58 AM   #58
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you have no idea

my total cool point score: 115
coolness to the core!


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Last edited by RC 1162; 11-24-2005 at 01:09 AM.
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Old 11-24-2005, 03:14 AM   #59
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ELEVEN


None of the three knew of the Taris system. They had to find a way off this planet before Tara got killed. Obi Wan had suggested getting some accommodations before they searched for a passage off the planet, so they had gone to what was called the South Apartments. After a quick lunch, Obi Wan had gone out to see if he could buy a small ship with the money they had. An hour later, he returned.
“I have good news and bad news,” he announced.
“Let’s hear them,” Mace prompted.
“Good news is that I have acquired a ship at a very low cost. Bad news is it’s missing its hyperdrive unit. We’ll need to salvage a hyperdrive from somewhere.”
“Any ideas, have you?” Yoda asked.
“The dealer said that there were plenty of crashed ships in the Undercity, we could go there and see if we could get a hyperdrive or not.”
“Well, let’s go then,” Mace prompted.
“Not so fast, Master,” Obi Wan said. “We need to make a stop at the medical facility first.”
“None of us is hurt; there is no need to waste time.”
“We’re not going there for healing. We need to get some Rakghoul serum.”
Mace and Yoda looked confused.
“What’s a Rakghoul?” Mace asked.
“Apparently it’s a mutant creature species that lives in the Undercity. Prolonged exposure to the Undercity leads to the Rakghoul disease, which causes people to mutate into one of them.” Obi Wan explained.
Mace nodded and said,
“Alright, one quick stop and we get moving.”
************************************************** **********
Mace stepped in another puddle and cursed.
“If I live to tell my tale, I’ll leave this out of it.” he said.
The three of them walked through the Undercity, searching for an intact looking ship. So far, they had learnt one thing: Taris’ Undercity was a ship graveyard. Thousands of crashed ships littered the ground every 5 meters. All the ships they had searched so far either had no hyperdrive or had a busted hyperdrive. As they walked, Obi Wan tripped on a stone and almost fell.
“Piece of crap.” he mumbled.
Mace, however, seemed very interested in the ‘piece of crap’.
“What is it?” Obi Wan asked.
“Is it natural for a button to be set in the ground?” Mace asked.
“No,” Obi Wan replied.
“Then this is something new.”
Obi Wan bent down and looked at the place where the stone had been. Sure enough, there was a button set into the ground. As he lifted his arm to push it, however, the Force warned him of something and all of them jumped back. Where they had been standing, a Rakghoul Fiend claw had slashed through. Another five rakghouls joined their leader. Igniting their sabers, the three Jedi leapt up in unison and landed behind the creatures. With a slash of his saber, Obi Wan took the head off of the fiend. Behind him, Yoda and Mace were slashing their lightsabers furiously, chopping the rakghouls to pieces. Obi Wan reversed his grip on his saber and pushed it back in a reverse stab right through the remaining rakghoul’s abdomen. Breathing heavily, Obi Wan, lightsaber in hand, went to the button and pushed it using the Force. The ground in front of him shivered and started moving into the ground. A few seconds later, there was an opening in the ground big enough for him to walk into without a tight squeeze on any side. Obi Wan motioned to the others to follow him and jumped in. Yoda and Mace followed closely. As they stood there, a protocol droid came up to them.
“Welcome, Masters. May I know why you are here in the Promised Land?”


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Old 11-24-2005, 09:06 AM   #60
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Nice touch with that. I'd like to see what will happen. for you!
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Old 11-24-2005, 09:32 AM   #61
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you would, since its been 4000 years since the Promised Land had been discovered thanks, dude, next chapter will probably be on sunday, since i have a math test on Sat.


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Old 11-24-2005, 07:29 PM   #62
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Interesting, and Taris hasn't changed much has it? Are they still racists?
P.S. What drugs do they give for attaching new limbs, 'cause it must be good.


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Old 11-25-2005, 04:38 AM   #63
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Old 11-25-2005, 07:20 AM   #64
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TWELVE


Tara held her lightsaber at hand, deactivated and watched Vader carefully. He had his lightsaber out and was circling Tara slowly. Suddenly, he lunged. Tara just jumped away calmly.
“Good.” said Vader. “Your reflexes are commendable, but you do not use them to their full extent.”
Vader brought his lightsaber around and slashed at Tara’s head. Tara ducked and stepped back a few paces.
“Give in to the Dark Side,” he said. “Feel it flowing through you.”
He launched a sweep at her legs and she jumped over the blade.
“I said it before: I will not turn.” she said, undaunted.
“Ah, but you will, sooner or later.” Vader said, smiling inside his mask. “There is great fear and anger in you.”
“I am neither afraid nor angry.” she said calmly. “Your petty dialogues will never turn my beliefs.”
At this, Vader got angry. He lunged hard and launched a feint at Tara’s knees, stopped midway and went for her neck. Tara, quick as a dagger, ignited her saber with a flash and the bar of gleaming blue stopped Vader’s blade.
“Your strategy backfired, Anakin” she taunted, smiling.
Vader bared his teeth and stood in a battle stance.
************************************************** *******************
Obi Wan, Mace and Yoda looked confused.
“The Promised Land, you say?” said Yoda. “What is this?”
“It is a place where droids look after our Masters’ every needs, sir.” the droid replied. “I am a D-300 Combat Droid, the guardian of the Promised Land. You may refer to me as Deethree.”
“May we see your leader, Deethree?” Obi Wan asked.
“Of course, sirs.” D-3 replied. “Please follow me.”
The droid led the way into the place. It was a huge and beautiful place, with spotless walls, beautiful plants and floral wonders lighting up every corner and a great waterfall showering them playfully with droplets of water. It was hard to believe that the entrance of the place was set in the most desolate place on the planet.
They came up to a magnificent room with decorated ceilings in which people walked around in well-pressed, modest outfits. In the center sat a man, apparently in his fifties. He was no doubt, the leader of these people.
“You have some visitors, Master Gendar,” the droid said.
“Thank you, Deethree. That will be all.”
The droid turned around and walked back to its post.
“Welcome, strangers. My name is Terrik Gendar. How may I help you?” the man said.
“We were hoping to salvage a hyperdrive unit for a ship we have, can you help us?”
“Unfortunately, no.” Terrik said. “If there was anything of value out there, the local swoop gangs would have salvaged minutes after the ship crashed. I can, however, give you a completely new ship.”
“That would be splendid.” Mace said. “Name your price.”
“No, no, I want you to take it, as a gift from us.”
“Gift? Barely know us, you do.” said Yoda.
“No Master Yoda.” Terrik replied. “You barely know us. But you were the Grand Master of the Jedi Order. There is no civilized person who does not know of you.”
Obi Wan shrugged.
“Is she fast?” he asked.
“Fast? These ships were made by the construction droids of this Land. If there’s anything faster than them, I’d like to see it.”
“Well, that’s fast enough,” said Obi Wan. “Thank you.”
“No problem, I wish I could offer you more.”
Mace thought for a second.
“We could use some food,” he said.


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Last edited by RC 1162; 12-21-2005 at 10:33 AM.
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Old 11-25-2005, 08:51 AM   #65
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Nice Work! Excellente!

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In the center sat a man, apparently in his fifties.
“You have some visitors, Master Gendar,”
What the hell?
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Old 11-25-2005, 11:23 AM   #66
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descendants, dude


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Old 11-25-2005, 12:57 PM   #67
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Oh, right. Descendats...
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Old 11-26-2005, 04:50 AM   #68
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The only thing that is confusing me is how Taris wound up just like it was before the destruction that Malak ordered.

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Old 11-26-2005, 11:42 AM   #69
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its been 4000 years, wouldnt someone take it and renovate?


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Old 11-26-2005, 07:35 PM   #70
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^^But just to make it exactly as it was before it was destroyed?


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Old 11-27-2005, 02:56 AM   #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RC 1162

“Piece of crap.” he mumbled.
Ben saying crap + ....odd.....Keep it up though

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Old 11-27-2005, 11:04 AM   #72
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ah, well, no one's perfect


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Old 11-27-2005, 10:55 PM   #73
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Great story I hope another update is coming?

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Old 11-28-2005, 01:04 PM   #74
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yep, though it might take some time since i have an international writing competition that will go to india. Since im the best writer (not bragging, teacher herself said it) in my class, my teacher urged me to participate.


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Old 11-28-2005, 07:25 PM   #75
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^Sounds like you've got a good teacher. Ours are all "name that preposition". Good luck in the competition!


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Old 11-28-2005, 07:40 PM   #76
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Really your the best writer? With this horrible not well written story????? I'm just messing with you, I would definatly say that this is in my top 3 of stories in CEC

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Old 11-29-2005, 12:50 PM   #77
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cool, thanks, sorry about the delay, but ill start the next chap tomorrow.


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Old 12-01-2005, 10:54 AM   #78
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the chapter will be posted tomorrow, promise, i have to go out today.


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Old 12-01-2005, 06:55 PM   #79
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Oooooo!!!!! Going out, eh? With who? Tara????? Can't wait for the next chapter

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Old 12-02-2005, 06:10 AM   #80
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dumb joke. go out shopping for some jackets, since winter is coming.


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