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Old 02-25-2006, 09:47 AM   #1
VampireNaomi
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Grim Fandango murder mystery

In case some of you haven't noticed, a new fanfic author has started writing a GF murder mystery at FF.Net. It uses the classic plot of a bunch of characters being invited to a party by a mysterious stranger and one of them getting killed. There are two chapters now and it's already turning out to be entertaining.

Murder at Vertigos Tower


"Oho, my sainted aunt, have I become a victim of brain fever, the curse of academia...?" -- Jonathan Crane

Sweet As Mango: Nick/Olivia all the way!
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Old 02-25-2006, 09:52 AM   #2
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While the plot is not the most original, it certainly fits with the Grim Fandango universe and the character's are spot on. I'm being a real nitpick but some of their sentence strucures are a bit too simple.

However, the story is amazing and I'm having a ton of fun blasting through this. Is it one of the members on the board?

Good find Naomi!
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Old 02-25-2006, 10:43 AM   #3
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I'm a sucker for the classic Agatha Christie plot, so I always love it when someone tries to use it in my fandoms.

The sentence structure doesn't really bother me, but that could be due to my eye being blind to such things. I somehow automatically don't pay attention to things like that if the story is in a foreign language.

Any idea who the murderer is? The idea that it probably is one of the guests really intrigues me.


"Oho, my sainted aunt, have I become a victim of brain fever, the curse of academia...?" -- Jonathan Crane

Sweet As Mango: Nick/Olivia all the way!
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Old 02-25-2006, 10:54 AM   #4
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Well, since it's Agatha Christie-esque, I do think it's one of the guests. Olivia would seem too obvious however. It could be Olivia and Nick though.

If it's Raoul I'll die laughing.

The sentence structure isn't terrible, nor is it choppy at all. However I've been undergoing long periods of studyig english sentence structure to go from English to Honors English and I find myself mentally editing every setence so it flows better, or checking some comma mistake.

Of course I'm not following them in my post...

Also, I was a bit suprised when you said foreign language. When I read your stories, they seemed to come from a natural. Someone who has a nack for putting words together. It could come from the fact that you do talk another language and have a unique way of wording.

So yes, Nick and Olivia....
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Old 02-25-2006, 11:33 AM   #5
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I'm putting this under spoiler tags since I don't want to reveal the victim to those who haven't read the fic yet.

spoiler:
It could be Maximino, too. Perhaps he realised that Hector was growing too powerful and decided to get rid of him? I also have to wonder what impact Lupe and Lola will have on the plot. The author must have a reason for Lola being still around.


No, I'm not native speaker. My first language is Finnish.

Quote:
However I've been undergoing long periods of studyig english sentence structure to go from English to Honors English and I find myself mentally editing every setence so it flows better, or checking some comma mistake.
That's incredibly useful. The world would be a better place if everyone had an inner editor.


"Oho, my sainted aunt, have I become a victim of brain fever, the curse of academia...?" -- Jonathan Crane

Sweet As Mango: Nick/Olivia all the way!
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Old 04-05-2006, 06:13 AM   #6
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The writer has finally got an account! Woohoo!

*Ahem* God, English isn't your first language?? But you can speak it better than me! Well, this is awkward. Not to mention spelling. If I didn't have spell check on my laptop, I'm sure I'd be kidnapped by the grammar Nazis by now. Sentence structure, eh? Any pointers on that, I had issues with the first chapter...

Hmmm... theories... interesting... Have they changed since half the guests have been bumped off? The murderer is definately one of of the eight guests and two extras (Lola and Lupe).

Raoul the mass murderer- Lol!!

Last edited by Scorpicus; 04-26-2006 at 03:46 AM.
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Old 04-28-2007, 03:20 PM   #7
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That was amazing!!!! I read the whole thing and it was great! I wosh I could write like that! I loved the ending to!


MOO
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