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Old 03-29-2006, 06:42 PM   #1
The Doctor
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Diaries of a Jedi

This is a slightly different kind of fic than most here. It's in the form of a series of personal log entries made by a young padawan in the beginning of the Mandalorian Wars. The padawan is not named, and gender is not specified. The date index is pretty much meaningless as far as the officialy established timeline goes, but it's just to give the entries an order. Anyay, here are the first series of entries.


Personal log, date index 44.12.3
The Order has again turned down the Republicís plea for aid. The Mandalorians have taken three more systems in the past two months. Theyíre pushing forward relentlessly, and the Council refuses to do anything about it.
Some of the Jedi arenít happy. Mylia says she even saw Revan and Vrook start yelling at each other over it yesterday, but she tends to exaggerate things like that. I doubt Vrook would ever actually yell at anyone, even Revan, and I know Revan himself wouldnít dare contradict any master, especially Vrook.

Personal log, date index 44.13.9
The Mandalorians took another system. Taris is theirs now. The Republic abandoned it about 13 hours ago. The Mandalorians are getting too close to the Core Worlds. They should have been stopped long ago - but the Republic is too disorganized. Theyíre battle plans are simple and predictable. Theyíre being crushed like flies out there.
Revanís begun Ďpreachingí to the other padawans about how the Council are wrong, and we should go to war now, not later. He and Bastila had a big argument outside the Council chamber this morning - neither of them were in training today, so I assume they were punished somehow. Apparently, Bastilaís taking it upon herself to contradict Revanís Ďteachingsí, for lack of a better word. Sheís basically telling us to stay with the Order and ignore Revan. I know sheís right, but...what Revanís saying does make a certain amount of sense. I donít know what to do.

Personal log, date index 44.15.5
Revan and Malak snuck out of the enclave late last night. Theyíre lucky nobodyís told Bastila, or the Council would be down on him faster than a pack of hungry kath hounds. Nobody knows where they went, but itís possible they went back to the ruins the Council sent them to investigate along with some of the other padawans. Maybe they forgot something, I donít know.
Revanís been acting weird lately. Heís no longer speaking out against the council - he seems more sullen, more moody. I donít like it.
Malakís different, too. Not moody or anything, just... quite. And heís not as friendly as he usually is. Even with Lina, which is unusual in and of itself - they always get along.

Personal log, date index 45.01.2
The Republic asked for aid once again. The Council said no, once again. Revan was outraged. Thereís talk of him abandoning the Order and going to war. The worst part is, a great deal of people are willing to go with him. Malak, Herti, Kerlisa... they all think we should go to war. Bastilaís still preaching patience and loyalty to the Council, but only a handful of people are listening to her. Iím doing all I can to help her, but... Revanís a much better public speaker.

Personal log, date index 45.03.7
Itís started. Revan and the others have left the Order. The Council tried getting them to come back, but they wonít listen. They masked their hyperspace wake, too, so we have no idea where theyíre going yet. The maters called an emergency conclave three hours ago. Theyíre still in there. Maybe theyíll decide to follow them, I donít know. Maybe this was for the best - maybe all the Council needed was something to push them into the war; to make a decision. I hope so... I donít like the idea of almost 100 exiled padawans. I donít think the masters do, either.
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:06 PM   #2
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Next round of entries. These ones are a little better, I think, than the last set.


Personal log, date index 46.01.4
Itís been exactly a week since Revan and the others left for the war. We havenít heard anything yet - but weíre bound to hear something soon.
Master Vandar spoke to the remaining padawans today. He seemed pleased that at least some of us had the wisdom to obey the Councilís wishes. But he seemed... disappointed in the others. Not worried, or even angry. Just... disappointed.
Vrook is still spitting plasma over the whole thing. Heís taken to hiding away in his quarters. Rumor has it he doesnít even eat, just mediates. And rumours have become more believable since Mylia left with Revan...
There are only about 20 of us left here at the Enclave on Dantooine. A fairly large group of padawans from the Temple on Coruscant have joined Revan. The Order is in disarray - and I still donít know what will happen to Revan and his followers when the war is over. Would the Order really exile 250 of its padawans?

Personal log, date index 46.08.2
Revan has entered battle. The Jedi who left have been given ranks in the Republic army. As far as we know, a great deal of them are now Generals. Revan is a Fleet Admiral. Fleet Admiral! He commands every single Jedi in the war, as well as almost 10 000 Republic soldiers.
Revanís proven himself to be a great military strategist. He managed to take out the Mandalorian fleet at Cathar - a fleet almost twice the size of his own. Malakís fleet was able to take the Orbila sector back. The Mandalorians are becoming more cautious about their attacks - Revan seems to know where theyíre going to attack before any of the Republic strategists can figure it out. Heís brilliant - using feints, feeding the Mandalorians false information... heís even willing to sacrifice entire planets in order to secure another system. He seems to see what others donít in battle. I canít imagine how he developed such a keen sense for war.

Personal log, date index 47.01.3
The Mandalorians fell at Taris! They were forced to give up the Hulin passage, though... thatís a major supply line for the sector. The Mandalorians have no use for it, though, so... itís a trade off, I guess.
The Council, however, are still claiming that joining the war was a mistake. How can they say that! Revan and his people have saved millions of lives, and turned the war in favour of the Republic! I donít see how they can continue to think that they were right...
Bastila has been quiet lately. Sheís been locking herself in her dorm, not even talking to her roommate. Iím worried about her. Maybe Iíll talk to Dorak about it if it gets any worse.
The Order has lost almost 1000 more Knights, Padawans, and even a few Masters to Revanís influence. I donít know how heís drawing so many followers, but... itís frightening.

Personal log, date index 47.03.8
The Republic has managed to push the Mandalorians back to the Outer Rim, in no small part due to Revan. Ruusan was taken back after almost three weeks of battle, led by one of the padawans from Dantooine. Kira, I think.
There is some discord forming in the ranks of the Republic. I donít know what itís about, but apparently, Admiral Karath and Captain Dodanna almost came to blows a few days ago, and it had something to do with Revan. I donít know how much stock to put in it, tough... there have been rumours like that for a while now. I donít know how believable they are.

Personal log, date index 78.08.8
The Mandalorians and the Republic have begun a huge battle in the Malachor system, in orbit around the fifth planet. Both sides have their entire fleet there. It must be terrifying, seeing thousands of ships trying to tear each other apart. The battle has been going for almost a week now, and thereís no sign of it ending any time soon. The Republic has lost almost a hundred ships, including the Trident, the Grindstone, the Miscopa, he Ravager and the Bellton. The Mandalorians have lost just as many, if not more ships. Then thereís the fighting on the planetís surface. There are millions of troops down there, all of them bent on killing each other.
Weíve received the casualty reports... 300 hundred Jedi have been killed in this battle alone. I have no idea how many Mandalorians have been killed - but theyíre the enemy, so why should the Republic care about their casualties?

Personal log, date index 81.05.7
Malachor... itís done.
The whole planet has been destroyed. One of the Jedi, under Revanís orders, activated a... device. It destroyed everything in orbit. Everything. Every single soldier on the planetís surface has been burnt into nothingness - not a single body was recovered.
Itís too dangerous to try to salvage the dead ships in orbit. The planet...somethingís happened to it. What that... thing... it killed not only the planet, but... the space surrounding it. There are spacial anomalies, sup-space distortions, and massive amounts of debris that canít even by identified anymore.
When the battle ended... I felt something. An echo... a void in the Force. It was as if every single one of the soldiers and Jedi who died there... almost 6 billion people... screamed in utter terror right in my ear... I have an... emptiness inside. Like the Force is mourning.
Revan and the Jedi... theyíre not coming back. Theyíve declared that they are no longer Jedi - that theyíre more than that now. Only one came back. I didnít know her well, but... well enough to know that sheís changed. I donít know whether sheís changed for the better or for the worst, but... sheís different. She feels different. I canít sense her like I could before, she... sheís like a void, where the Force... simply doesnít exist. Itís frightening... is that what war does to a Jedi? Are they all like that now? Are Revan, Malak, and the others just... wholes in the Force? It must be a terrible feeling... Iím uncomfortable just being around her. I canít even begin to imagine how she feels...
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:30 PM   #3
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I like this so far. But then again, I've always liked "diary" sort of stories. Would like to see more! Especially any entries that detail the upcoming Jedi purges by Sion. Keep it up!

Veni, Vidi, Velcro. (I came, I saw, I stuck around)
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:35 PM   #4
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I don't know if I'm going to go that far, but... I guess it would be interesting. Thanks Jas, you just gave me a 'killer' idea....
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Old 03-30-2006, 09:34 PM   #5
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Writing blitz!
I have another set of journals done!
To those of you who are awaiting the next chapter of Dark Mirror: No, I haven't dropped it. It's still going. Slowly, but it's still going.


Personal log, date index 82.11.1
Revan has taken whatís left of his fleet, and left known space. Malak took a few ships as well and followed. They say theyíre going after the remnants of the Mandalorian fleet, but... Iím not sure I believe that story.
The Jedi, the one who came back: sheís been trialed by the Council on Coruscant, both for abandoning the Order and activating what is now to be known as something called a Ďmass shadow generatorí. They sentenced her to Exile! Unbelievable! The one chance they have to see why they left, to see what really made them leave, and they send her to live in the Outer Rim!
As soon as I could, I watched the holo-recording of her trial. She seemed so... rebellious, so sure that she was right... When the Council demanded her lightsaber back, she... she stabbed it into the centre stone of the Council chamber.

Personal log, date index 82.14.3
The exiled Jedi was featured in the news reports from Coruscant today. Sheís being called Ďthe Jedi Exileí. After all she did for the Republic, after saving all those lives, they label her an exile - not, The Exile - and treat her like a common Rodian criminal! They wonít even use her real name anymore. Sheís justí The Exileí.
Revan and Malakís fleet has disappeared. Thereís been no contact with them for almost three whole days now. The Republic is getting worried that their heros have been destroyed, but I donít see how that could be - they took almost 20 ships with them.
I donít like this... something feels wrong. Thereís something on the edge of my perceptions... something waiting. Whenever I feel as if Iím getting close to understanding, it disappears. I canít pin it down to a source. Itís irritating.

Personal log, date index 83.01.2
Iíve talked to some of the others, and theyíre sensing the same thing I am - something dark waiting on the edge of our perception, like a cat leaping on a yelt rat.
The Masters are getting restless, as well. I know they must sense what Iím sensing - probably stronger than I am - but none of them will speak of it when I ask them. They tell me that I must be patient, that I will understand soon enough - personally, I donít think even they know whatís going on.

Personal log, date index 85.09.6
I havenít been writing in here lately, I know. Havenít had much time, with Trials approaching.
There are rumours that Revan and Malak were spotted here on Dantooine a few days ago. At least, Malak was seen - the man with him wore a mask, so nobodyís sure who it was. How convenient...
The Masters are growing more and more restless. I know theyíre feeling something we arenít, but... I canít for the life of me figure out what it could be! I hope they find Revan soon... dead or alive, I donít care. I just want this nightmare to end.

Personal log, date index 86.03.6
Another sighting. This time on a planet controlled by Czerka. Kashyyykk. Why would Revan and Malak go to a planet full of slavers and walking carpets? Thereís nothing there but trees. I donít think they would.
Trials are difficult. I canít seem to focus. I need to get more sleep. Something else thatís been difficult lately...

Personal log, date index 90.05.2
I passed! Iím now a full fledged Jedi!
All the others passed, as well. If only Mylia could see me now... the look on her face...
There hasnít been any more rumours about Revan lately. I guess people are finally getting bored with it.
The Republic sent out a search team a few weeks ago. Nothing. It looks like the whole fleet was destroyed, somehow. Must have been a micro-singularity or something. Iím surprised we didnít feel them become one with the Force, though...

Personal log, date index 91.03.4
The Order is sending me as part of the aid team on Cathar for the next few months. Iíve been in contact with a Catharan delegate named Nultan. Heís agreed to meet me in the planetís capital city in three days. The biggest problem will be repairing the moral damage, and the damage done to the planetary economy - Cathar has never been a luxurious place to live, but itís gotten far worse since the war started. At least now they have some breathing room.
The Order is settling down now. With no rumours of Revan and Malak for a while now, the Council seem to have moved on, practically forgetting about the 1200 plus Jedi who abandoned them and followed Revan. It makes me sick, to be honest. Youíd think that they would learn from something like that, but they seem set on forgetting the whole thing and pretending it never happened. Disgusting.
There may not have been rumours about Revan and Malak, but there have been sightings of the vaunted ĎJedi Exileí. Sheís been spotted near Hoth, of all places. I wonder why she would be there.
Exile must be hard on her. Wandering the galaxy alone, no companionship... I would never be able to do it. Not even for a day, let alone - how long has it been now? Over two months? Thatís far longer than I could last alone. I donít know how she does it.
I wonder... why does she travel alone? Why does she travel at all? How can she keep moving around constantly, with nothing in her life remaining stable? Again, I could never do it.
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Old 04-01-2006, 05:28 PM   #6
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I'm enjoying this interesting way of looking at the Wars.

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Old 04-28-2006, 01:22 PM   #7
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Oops. I completely forgot about this one. Sorry, folks. I'm back on it.
I do have bad news, however: Dark Mirror is stalled. I'm still at it, but unless you want a single paragraph chapter, you'll have to wait... anyway, here's the next set of entries.


Personal log, date index 91.07.4
Busy couple of days. I met with Nultan, and weíve worked out a tentative plan as to how weíre going to approach the situation. The safety of the Catharan people is our first priority, naturally. That is, making sure that theyíre getting enough clean drinking water - a difficult task, seeing as how the planetary ecosystem has been devastated, all the bodies of water severely polluted and the air tainted with toxins from both Republic and Mandalorian bombs.
Things here on Cathar... theyíre worse than I anticipated. Not as bad as some other planets, but bad enough. Most of the cities have been reduced to rubble, with millions of refugees fleeing to the major city. The capital, Krishaan city, is now the home of over 10 000 refugees from the surrounding area. When we landed, the shuttle was swarmed by the poor, all of them begging for credits. I gave what I could - when we landed, I carried 500 dataries on me. When I arrived at the Embassy, I was out. I want to do what I can, but... it will take much more than I could ever make to help them all. And some of them are beyond help now.

Personal log, date index 93.11.3
Iíve settled into what will be my residence on Cathar. I met an elderly couple today who were worried about the attack on Taris - their daughter and son in law left Cathar a few years ago, and last they heard, were still on Taris when it was attacked by the Mandalorians. They wanted to know if their granddaughter is safe. I told them I would do what I could to find out. Iíve begun researching their names, and came across a crew manifest of one of three transports. They're fragmented, but I found one match - a young Catharan female named ĎJuhanií arrived at Taris with a Rodian named ĎThrilpoí, who then escorted her to two adult Catharans - presumably the girlís parents, who must have arrived on one of the other transports. I want to find more information before I talk to Giltep and Monia, but I now have something to go on, at least.
I also exchanged words with a Mandalorain prisoner named Xor. He saw I was a Jedi, and tried attacking me. Apparently, he lost a slave, along with the credits he used to buy her, when the Jedi liberated Taris. He threatened to, and I quote: ďShove your lightsaber down your throat and pull it out your-Ē end quote. The guards managed to sedate him, and helped escort him to his cell.

Personal log, date index 92.04.1
Still no news on Revan and his fleet. There's speculation that he and his ships were destroyed by some kind of spacial anomoly. But he took at least a dozen ships with him. What kind of spacial anomoly could wipe out that many ships? I don't like it...
I've been able to learn a little more about this 'Juhani'. Somehow, she managed to earn the ire of the local Exchange chapter. She was sold as a slave a few days before Revan and the other Jedi re-took the planet for the Republic. One of the Jedi (I couldn't find out which one - but it was one of the women) had a great deal of contact with her, apparently. At least I know now that even if they turned their backs on the Order, they didn't turn their backs on the Jedi way.
Something's been bothering me lately. The darkness on the edge of my perception... it seems to be growing. I can feel it drawing closer. It's... unsettling, to say the least. I hope I'm just imagining things...
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Old 05-22-2006, 10:43 AM   #8
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Haven't had a lot of time to write lately - two seminars, along with two 2000+ word essays to write. With exams coming up soon, I won't have a great deal of time for this. These will most likely be the last entries until school is out. Sorry.


Last edited by The Doctor; 11-04-2006 at 05:01 PM.
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Old 05-29-2006, 01:00 AM   #9
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Hey, this is a pretty cool fic. I like the way you portrayed it as a diary. Keep writing, I'm waiting for more.

"I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now,
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces...
And threw every piece into a fire.
As I burned, it hurt because
I was so happy for you." - GLaDOS
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Old 12-25-2008, 12:45 PM   #10
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read albeit late.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:00 PM   #11
The Doctor
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... Wow, this is old. o_O I look forward to your input, Mach, though I must admit it's not my best work - I'd probably be able to write a much better adaptation on the same idea now.
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