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Old 04-20-2006, 09:04 AM   #1
Master Kan-Maz
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[FIC]:Dantooine's students.

Okay,this is your choose story.I write several stories,every one of them related to a padawan of Dantooine's academy.I will put there numbers,that they will be easier to find.I'll start with the bio:

STAR WARS:RELATED TO THE FORCE

The Galaxy is in peace.Jedi's have won the battle against Darth Vann,and they have rebuilt the academy on Dantooine.Five special students,Kansa Rift,Reina Sac,Munda Kall,Rofi Maacs and Mura Stak have arrived to Dantooine,without knowing what's ahead.

They are not aware that there is still Sith loyals on Dantooine,planning attack to the Academy...


1:Kansa Rift.

The day was perfect.A perfect day to start a new life,Kansa imagined.She walked down the gangway to the surface of Dantooine,four characters behind him.Master Sundar is waiting us,Kansa thought.She was heared a lot stories about the wise Kali Sundar,but no true things.She looked up,and the sun burned her eyes.She put her head down fast,just to notice that a large human was standing in front of him.
-How was your trip?humanoid asked.
-Quite well,shouted a boy from the back of Kansa.
-But who are you?
-I am Master Sundar,man said.
Kansa heared whispering noises about Sundar.
-He is immortal!
-He is a thousand years old.
-No he's not!
But before they started a fight about Sundar,he asked them to follow.
Everyone done as asked,and soon they were standing in front of a big door.
-That's quite huge,Kansa said.
-Please come in,a woman said from the door.The huge door opened,and the group walked in.They saw a big wallpaper,where was a human fighting a weird human.Down it was a name:EXILE.Geez,I bet he was important,Kansa thought.
Then they came to a room,where was 4 humans,2 men and 2 women.
Sundar sat in the empty seat.
-Welcome students,the far left woman said.
-I am Kar Mazi.
-I'm Zeeth Kai,man near her said.
-Name does not matter,student group said.
-We know that you want to know our names.I'm Zaach Naras.
-Who are you?a girl asked in front of Kansa from a silent man.
-He talks through the Force,and he's your final instructor,Sundar answered.
-Will me move to the first training ground,shall we?

I will update it sometime.Say if I should continue.


Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Oh damn...

Last edited by Master Kan-Maz; 04-23-2006 at 01:31 PM.
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Old 05-09-2006, 10:48 AM   #2
Master Kan-Maz
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Hey,I beg you a little comments.Don't worry, It won't hurt!


Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Oh damn...
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Old 05-09-2006, 12:49 PM   #3
JediMaster12
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Is this like those choose your own adventure stories?
You have good structure but I suggest a bit more detail in description. Keep in mind that not all of us are familiar with your vision. Some things may be different and misinterpreted unintentionally. Keep posting. Don't let it die

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Old 05-21-2006, 02:46 AM   #4
Master Kan-Maz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JediMaster12
Is this like those choose your own adventure stories?
You have good structure but I suggest a bit more detail in description. Keep in mind that not all of us are familiar with your vision. Some things may be different and misinterpreted unintentionally. Keep posting. Don't let it die
Thank you.But I think I will stop the writing of this,due to lack of time.Maybe I will continue,maybe I'll not,but thanks for your comments.


Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Kaalah-Nah is happy!
Oh damn...
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Old 06-14-2006, 01:25 PM   #5
machievelli
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If this is a ‘choose your own’ story, there is no reason for it to lay fallow because the original author has let it sit. I am going to post a suggestion to it that maybe we have some ask another author to add to it, and rotate who is in the barrel for it.

Why not a game of tag?

Hey, Force Fights With me! Tag, you're it!


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile

Last edited by machievelli; 06-14-2006 at 01:25 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 06-14-2006, 05:16 PM   #6
jedi_exile
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i like the idea kepp it up


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