lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: [FIC] The Second Coming Of Evil
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 02-24-2007, 08:27 AM   #121
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
I liked the reference to the Jedi Masters from TSL. Jonas sure is evil. Good Chapter as always and looking foward to more.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-01-2007, 07:16 AM   #122
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
CHAPTER 24

Thanks to both of you for your comments

CHAPTER 24

A day had passed and still, Revan had not given the order to take off; he wanted to leave, to destroy this threat, but he still wanted to stay on Dantooine. Away from everything else what may be happening in the Universe.
A sudden chill of gloom had blanketed the Ebon Hawk; nobody said a word to each since they had stepped onto the boarding ramp the day before.
Revan’s dreams were filled with, sadness, loss, hatred and pain. They were not normal nightmares, but much worse. Violent.

Fire surrounded him, licking at his sides, cuffing both his wrists and ankles, binding him in a fiery embrace of heated pain; searing his flesh. He could not perceive anything through the darkness, which lay beyond the flames, but he could sense something closing in on him, prepared to strike at any moment.

“Who are you?” he said, gritting his teeth from the overwhelming pain.

“I am the darkness which you hold closest to your heart, Revan.” Replied a voice inside his head, it was his own voice, “You are losing, Revan.”

“I don’t know -,” started Revan.

“You know exactly what I mean,” hissed the Voice, “You are fighting a losing battle. How many lives need die because of you?”

“I have killed no-one,” said Revan.

“Oh?” asked the Voice, “Bastilla was no-one was she?”

“I did not kill her." snarled Revan
"
Stop lying to yourself Revan, no matter how hard you try, all you will find will be failure. You know she dies because of your actions.”

“No!” yelled Revan, as loud as his vocal cords would allow, “That’s not true. She died for something she believed in. Not because of me.”

There was a shrill, harsh laugh; much different from his own, that echoed throughout his ears. The fiery binds tightened their grip, making his gasp in pain.

“Believe that if you wish, but soon enough you shall see the truth. Jonas is right, you know. If you did not send Nom, she would still be alive.”

“Revan shut his eyes tight, “I killed her,” he said miserably, “It was my fault.”

Suddenly here was a dim voice that bounced through the particles of the air and found its way to Revan hearing. It sounded like somebody turned the volume up high, and then down low; the voice seemed to gather potency, then die out again.

“Go away and leave me in peace,” whispered Revan. But the voice kept on calling his name. “I said, leave me alone!” he screamed. Suddenly the binds that held him loosened, and he fell onto a solid, freezing cold surface. He opened his eyes and realized that he was indeed, lying on his back in the main hold of the Ebon Hawk with everybody surrounding him, looking worried.

“Are you OK Master?” asked Nom, who knelt down beside him.

Revan tried to get up but was stopped by a huge pounding that erupted within his head. He placed a hand on his forehead and realized it was covered in sweat.

Nom leant a hand, “Come on, Master,” he said, “Stand up.”

Revan took Nom’s hand and he lifted him up. Swaying a little, Revan placed a hand on the table next to him to keep himself steady.

“I killed her,” he said, “It was my fault she died.”

“Jonas did, not you.” Said Nom

“You don’t understand. If I had not had you to send for her, she would still be alive.”

“That may be true,” said Nom, nodding his head, “but she died, because she was doing something what she believed in.”

“Ive tried saying that to myself, but it’s not true,” replied Revan. There was an awkward silence, then, “Im going alone,” said Revan, “Me and Jonas. None of you have to come, this is our fight, not yours.”

“We are coming with you Revan!” said Nom, “If you are a part of this galaxy and that’s what the threat is after, then its out fight as well. We are a part of the Republic as much as you.”

“Your still not coming,” said Revan, “there is no need.”

“Enough of this Revan!” said Nom, “Do not act as though you are the only person who has lost something.”

“Oh?” said Revan, “And what is it that you lost Nom? Nothing, that’s what, you only knew her what … a few months?”

He didn’t hesitate; Nom clenched a fist and struck the side of Revan’s head, impacting right on Revan’s cheekbone.

“Now, you listen to me Revan,” whispered Nom, “I may not have known Bastilla longer than you, but I still cared about her. It was not the love that you two shared but she was dear to me, and I don’t ever want you to hear that said again, because next time ... I won’t strike you with a fist.” With that, Nom turned and walked away from him and down the boarding ramp, leaving a long and heavy silence in his wake. One by one, the rest of the crew turned and walked away leaving Revan ashamed and shocked at what he had just said.

* * *

Clearing his mind of all thought, Nom walked along the grass plains next to the riverbank. He tried to forget everything that had just occurred, but it was impossible.

* * *


“If you have come to lecture me, don’t bother,” said Revan as Carth entered the Cargo Hold, as Revan sat down on the floor, with his back against a container.

“I know what your going through Revan,” said Carth, “We all do.”

Revan sighed, “What am I to do Carth? How could a saviour of the Galaxy … the so called, “Prodigal Knight” who has shown people to follow their hearts and walk their own path, lose his?”

“You have lost your way, yes,” agreed Carth, “But we are only the people who we perceive ourselves to be. If you think that that you are lost and wounded, then you are. There’s no way to change the past, so that’s why we are given the chance to change our mistakes in the future. We will not ever forget what has happened, it will be apart of us for the rest of our lives, and so will Bastila’s spirit. She will always be with you Revan, don’t think otherwise.”

“You have come quite the philosopher these past years haven’t you Carth ...” laughed Revan softly.

“Ive been around Jedi for too long,” replied Carth with a small smile.

“What am I to do?” asked Revan, “I feel like I am a wanderer in a unknown land. Travelling to dangers never been seen before.”

“First of all,” said Carth, “Apologize to Nom. What you said was very harsh and wrong. Then, second … we, (noticed I said, “we”, Revan) will go back to Azuria, find the Sith, Kill them all.”

“A bit on the Dark Side, don’t you think?” said Revan, “Answering the Sith’s call with their own expertise.”

“Sometimes, you have to fight fire with fire.” Replied Carth

* * *

Walking through the empty halls, feeling the lost souls, and brushing his fingers through the ivy crawling across the walls; Nom Kavar thought about his old life. He thought about his friends who he worked with in the mines, the people who he had cared about, and the people who he had lost.


“Therion, my old friend,” said Nom, smiling slightly; “I wish you could see me now.” Therion Astkari was Nom’s best friend at the Mine back on Azuria. But he had died in a sudden freak accident, when a mining tunnel collapsed and killed everyone who was in the tunnel instantly.

He heard rustling behind him and spun around, igniting his lightsaber as he went, “Oh,” he said, “It just you.”

Revan, looked solemnly in his eyes, “I am sorry, Nom. I should not have said what I said back on the ship.”

Nom deactivated his saber, “No,” he said, “You shouldn’t have.”

“I just don’t know-,” started Revan, but his voice faltered.

Nom looked up and saw Revan staring out into the council chamber, “Do not know what?” he asked

Revan stirred and said, “I do not know if whether, I can be your Master anymore. A broken hammer cannot help build anything.”

“Thanks for referring me to an object and you a hammer,” scoffed Nom.

“Your right,” said Revan laughing, “That was a bad choice of words. What I meant was, a Master cannot train an apprentice if he himself, does not know anymore what to teach.”

Nom started to walk to the entrance of the Enclave with Revan following him.

“I trust in you Master,” he said, “But you have to trust in me as well. I am coming with you, there’s nothing you can do to stop me, and that is something to believe me about.”

Revan smiled, “I was blind in my own sorrow before, but now, I would have it no other way.”

Nom smiled as they made their way back to the ship.

When the boarded and made their way to the main hold, it was to find that everybody else were already standing around waiting for them. Revan smiled, “I want you all to know … if you do not want to come, you don’t have to. We will drop you off first anywhere you want to go,”

“We’re coming with you, Revan,” said Mira.

“Ofcourse,” said Jolee. As the rest of the crew agreed.

“Prep her for launch then!” said Revan, happily.

“It looks like we have the old Revan here,” said Carth, “Key word here, being ‘old’ that is.” He added.

The rest of the crew laughed as him and Atton headed for the cockpit, “By the way,“ they heard Atton said, “I got dibs on flying.”
* * *


“So,” said Revan as he entered the Cargo hold where Nom was stationed. He was sitting where exactly where Revan had been when Carth talked to him, but ofcourse, he didn’t say anything. “We’re good, right?”

Nom laughed, “Yes,” he said, “We’re good.”

“Good!” replied Revan, “Now, would you like to know anything. About the Force, or something completely different? I don’t mind. I’m bored as all hell, there’s nothing to do beside meditate when travelling, and even that has its limits.”

Nom smiled, “What was it like, saving the Galaxy?”

Revan was silent for a moment then said, “Well, how to do you feel now?”

Confused, Nom said, “I’m feeling alright, not sick or anything.”

Revan laughed, “No, that’s not what I meant. When you think about it, we are saving the Galaxy right now. Destroying this threat will mean salvation for the Republic and a change for more life to be born.”

“Well, now that you put it that way,” laughed Nom, “I feel pretty damn good.”

“And that’s, how I felt.” Said Revan, smiling.

* * *

“So, they are coming,” said the tall figure to himself as he stared out into the scenery of his home planet, “I wondered how long it would take them.”

“The one who was foolish enough to call him one of our own has decided his fate after all. I admire that. But that will not save the pathetic organization what he strives to protect.”
He turned and proceeded down a long set of stairs and into a huge cathedral sized atrium. Lines of robed figures stand proudly against the walls as the powerful being walks by them. He stood before them all and stared into each and every one of them in turn. Burying himself into their thoughts, pulsating within their very souls.

“The time has come!” he yelled, “No longer shall we wait in the darkness. No longer shall we hide ourselves from our destiny! Our mantle was taken from us, it is time to reclaim it!”
He was answered with a deafening explosion of cheers and the hisses of a thousand red lightsaber being lit, bathing them in a sea of blood illumination.

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-01-2007, 08:07 AM   #123
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Ominous! It was a lil Dark-sided of Nom to strike Revan, but I guess it was a sharp wake-up call to him. The conversation about saving the galaxy is so true, lol. Awaiting coming installments!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-01-2007, 11:36 AM   #124
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Good for Nom for sorting out Revan. Looking foward to more and the final battle.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-03-2007, 03:05 AM   #125
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Chapter 25

Thanks. It was a bit on the dark side for Nom to strike his master but it certainly did make Revan aware of what would happen if he continued doing what he was doing.
Another chapter, but this one is a bit short today, but i tried to make it as best as possible for such a short chapter, because i had to go somewhere when i wrote it.
It's abit of a slow chapter, with hardly any progress in the story, but i just couldnt think of any other way to write this chapter.
Anyways, i hope you all like it.

CHAPTER 25


“We’ll be in Azuria in less than an hour,” said Atton when he walked into the main hold of the ship.

“Very good,” replied Revan, “How is everybody feeling?”

“I feel like im being surrounded by a group of Krayt’s with no mean of escape,” replied Mira with a sickening expression on her face, “I can feel the immense power already, even when we are so far away.”

“Your weak,” said Jonas, “we should be relishing in this power, not hiding from it.”

“That’s enough Jonas,” said Revan, glaring into The Exile’s eyes.

“How will we even start looking?” asked Nom, “We don’t even have a clue where the True Sith are.”

“I have a feeling that,” said Revan, “That they are on Azuria. Because when I first got to the planet, there wasn’t a planet at all. Just empty space. And then I heard a voice inside my head, a cold, cruel voice, then it unveiled the planet and tried to kill me by controlling my ship to crash down below on the surface.”

“How can we kill something that can cloak a planet and control your ship, with only its mind?” asked Nom

“We will find a way,” replied Revan, “But for now, I suggest you all get ready. Who knows how long we will be away from the ship and if you need to gather supplies, now would be the time.”

With that order, most of the crew dispersed and went to retrieve anything the thought they would need. Half an hour later, everyone was back in the main hold, except for Mira. Revan asked if anyone knew where she was, but they didn’t.

“I’ll go look for her,” offered Carth

“OK, just make sure she is alright.” Agreed Revan

Carth went off to the starboard Dorm, then the garage, engine room, cargo hold, but there was no sign of her. He then checked the port dormitory but still, she was not there; he then decided to go to the med bay. And there she was, sitting on the other side of the bed with her back to the entrance. Even if he could not use the Force, Carth knew that she was upset, about something. He moved into the room and she whipped around.

Her face was all red and blotchy, and she had faint tears down her face. “Mira, what’s wrong?” he asked. She quickly whipped her face with her sleeve and with a hurried nothing, she made her way to get of the med bay, but Carth stopped her.

“Talk to me, Mira,” he said, “I’ve never seen you like this for the time ive known you.”

“That’s because I never get like this,” She said, “for a good reason.”

“And what might that be?” asked Carth

“Because-,” she spluttered, “Because, I never get afraid, never worry, and I don’t want to let the people who are around me to know if I ever do. It’s just not me!”

He gestured to the small bunk, “Sit down,” he said gently. He guided her over then sat down beside her, “I know how you feel. I’m the exact same, and you know what. It’s OK to be afraid, it’s just what makes us human. We cannot run from it, it’s who we are, no matter how strong we think ourselves to be.” She looked down to the floor, and didn’t say a word. Carth looked at her; even when she was sitting here, being miserable, crying, she still was beautiful. He placed those thoughts to the back of his head.

“Listen,” he said softly, “You don’t have to come with us, you can stay here, on the ship.”

“Because why?” she snapped, “Im weak, is that it!”

Taken back, Carth said, “No, not at all. It- well, I would just prefer it if you did. I just – I just don’t want to see you get hurt. That’s all.”

She looked at him, “What are you saying, Carth?”

“I don’t know,” he said softly, then, “Hey, you called me Carth!”

“Yeah, why is that so surprising?” she asked lifting an eyebrow.

“It’s just,” said Carth scratching his chin, “you always say things like, ‘you’ or ‘grouch’ and other things. I thought you had forgotten my name!”

“So why didn’t you say anything?” she smiled

“Because I liked it,” he admitted.

Mira looked back down at the floor and gasp in agitation, “I shouldn’t be like this. I should be stronger!”

“I happen to like you like this,” said Carth, looking at her

“And what is that?” she asked.

“Oh, I don’t know … off guarded.” He said. She looked back at him. For a moment all they did was stare into each other’s eyes, both of them not looking away. And all of a sudden, Carth realized that he was moving closer in, towards her, and before he knew it, he could hear her breathing, smell the scent of her hair and feel the aura of calmness protrude from her. An inch away from her, he heard a soft laugh. He blinked and pulled away from her and looked to the doorway.

“Am I interrupting anything?” said Jonas, as he stepped into the med bay.

“As a matter of fact,” said Carth, standing up, “You were,”

“Oh, I did not know!” said Jonas, acting surprised, “Im so sorry!”

“Shut up, Jonas,” snarled Mira as she stood up and grabbed him by the throat.

“Yes!” he said, smiling into her eyes,” this is the real you, Mira, let your anger take control, let it flow through your body!”

“Mira, no!” said Carth, “Don’t drop to his level. You are and never could be as wicked, evil, and sadistic. Look into yourself and realize this!”

She looked towards him, and slowly released her grip on Jonas’s throat.

“Pity,” he said, as he walked out of the med bay

“Come on,” said Carth, as he took her hand, the others are waiting.”

* * *

They walked out into the corridor and felt the ship shudder. They looked at each other then hurried out into the main hold and asked what was going on.

“We just entered the atmosphere of Azuria,” answered Revan, “Are you alright Mira, you look like you’ve been upset.”

She put on a fake laugh and said, “Me? Upset? Of course not!”

He looked at her, clearly not believing her, but he said, “OK, make sure your ready for when we land.”

* * *

With Atton at the controls, landing the Ebon Hawk onto the plains of Azuria, the rest gathered in front of the boarding ramp. Revan however, stood in the Port Dormitory. He did not know exactly why he was there, but he closed his eyes and listened. Not with his ears, but with his mind.

He looked into the depths of the Force, bumping against the strains of the void and leaning towards intervals of light and sound.
Until suddenly, there was a rush of extreme intensity of power and malicious intent. For a second he thought it might have been Jonas, but then realized that whatever it was, it was far more powerful. But then, the rhythmic beat of the feeling realized it was gazing upon him and blocked all thought from Revan, and then he acknowledged. He just touched the mind of the person who he must destroy. The True Sith.

Revan felt a sensation form in his stomach. He had never known anything could exist with that much power. It was overwhelming.

“You feel tense,” came a woman’s voice.

“I just felt the being who I might destroy,” replied Revan, “wouldn’t you be tense?”

The woman laughed, “You have a point my darling. But you mustn’t stray from the path that you have chosen. Trust in yourself and you will succeed.”
Revan opened his eyes and looked around him. But he was alone.

“Bastila?” he asked, but there was no response. He sighed then walked back to rejoin the others.

“Are you OK?” Nom asked, as Revan stood by him.

“Haven’t felt better,” replied Revan smiling.

The boarding ramp lowered slowly until the fresh sunlight spread across their faces and gave them all a sense of tranquillity. Relieving them of all worries and pains. They descended and gazed upon Azuria once more.

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-03-2007, 03:59 AM   #126
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
It doesn't matter that it is short Mr_BFA. It is an opening to the final battle of the Fic. Looking foward to more and I think Carth and Mira are in love.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-03-2007, 07:47 AM   #127
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Thanks Topsite.
Yeah, i didn't know whether to have a love plot between them two. I still don't know, lol. We'll just have to see how it all works out, i guess.
Dunno when the next chapter will be out. I'm having computer problems atm, (stupid, evil, sadistic piece of machinery it is) but im sure it will be out soon enough.
Thanks again, and thanks for being the no.1 post person in my thread lol, it's cool how you've stuck around for this long.
Anyways, i think there will only be a few more chapters to this, but i won't say anymore ... (mostly because i don't know as to what they will consist of as of yet, lol)

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-04-2007, 02:05 AM   #128
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Carth and Mira was not something I'd ever expected, lol. I hope Mira doesn't fall! She's always been rather emotional under her "tough chick" facade (insert curly line under the e yourself. Can't figure it out).



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-05-2007, 11:02 PM   #129
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
lol, i think the curly is meant for under the 'c' isn't it? Anyways ...

And just something to keep your mind off of Mira falling ...
spoiler:
She won't ...

And it's still the same as before, i don't know when the next chapter will be out, but it shouldn't be too far away.

I've also noticed that in my last post, i forgot to thank for all the readers who have posted (and of course, the one's who have not posted ... you have boosted my view count ). I just thought i would do that now because it seem's that this Fic is coming to an end soon enough and i may accidently forget to thank ya's.

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-07-2007, 09:29 AM   #130
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Eh, oops. My mistake. Good on the spoiler... Meh, Jonas is evil enough for all of them.



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-09-2007, 04:59 AM   #131
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
CHAPTER 26

They spent a week searching for any means of finding the key to unlock the secret of the location of the Enemy. But to no avail.

“This is ridiculous!” spat Jonas on the evening of the eighth day away from the ship, “We have spent, what? A week, and what have we found? Nothing! We cannot keep on going on like this!”

“We cannot help how long we will be out here, Jonas,” said Revan, calmly, “We shall be out here as long as it takes.”

Jonas didn’t say anything, but just stared at Revan with the utmost disgust.

Nom lay down beside the small fire they had conjured and shut his eyes. He listened to Revan talking, listened to the animals that crept up close to get a closer look at the new inhabitants of the forest and then, a thought struck him.

“Jonas,” he said, “Was there anything at the temple what you were at? Anything, peculiar?”

“No,” he replied, stiffly, “Why do you care?”

“I care,” said Nom, opening his eyes and sitting up, “Because I want to find these Sith as much as you do. Even though we do not have any other similarities.”

“Well, we did find a Holocron, but none of my men, or me, could operate it. We do not know why.”

“Why did you not speak of this before?” said Revan, “Perhaps it is what we are looking for!”

“It might have been.” said Jonas, shaking his head.

“What?” said Revan

“It might have been,” repeated Jonas, “It was destroyed.”

“Why did you destroy it!” yelled Revan, “Are you truly that much of an idiot?”

“Hey! Don’t look at me! I didn’t destroy it,” spat Jonas, “Talk to your buddies about it.”

Revan turned to Nom and Carth, “What is he talking about?” he asked them.

“I have no idea,” they both replied.

“A Force Wave, which they produced, made one of the main tunnels of the complex collapse, and in turn, making the chamber beneath which held the Holocron, collapse also. So you see, it was their fault, not mine.” said Jonas, sneering.

“Did you even bother to check to see if the Holocron survived?” asked Revan.

“There was no need to!” replied Jonas, “Did you not listen to what I said? The room was destroyed, not even a Holocron could have withstood the rocks!”

“Be that as it may, we still need to check. Who knows, you may be wrong.” said Revan

“You idiot!” spat Jonas, “You just don’t get it do you? You will not listen to anybody who tries to tell you different. You always have to do what the great Revan thinks is right. Whether it be stupid or just,”
Revan stared into Jonas’ eyes. He did not say anything in return to Jonas’ last remark, but instead, he stood and walked away into the forest.

* * *

Walking here and there Revan pressed on with a debate he had in his mind eve since they got to Azuria.

‘Where are you!’ he cursed in his mind, ‘Stop hiding if you are so powerful and face me!’ He waited but there came no response. Until …

* * *

Revan came back into the small clearing to where the rest of the companions were, he laughed before he said anything, “We’ve been looking in the wrong places!” he said.

“Caught on, have you?” snapped Jonas.

Revan ignored him, “You see, Jonas occupied a large temple. And that was not the only temple on the planet was it? There are others on this planet, some less conspicuous than others.” he finished, looking at Nom.

Then Nom realized what Revan was saying, “You mean,” he said, “The complex? The place where lived for all my life?”

“Temple,” corrected Revan, “And yes, I do mean that very same place. Did you not find anything strange about that place Nom?”

“Well, no …,” Nom admitted.

“That’s because you didn’t look hard enough,” said Revan

“I never really needed to look harder, did I?” Nom laughed

“Touché,” replied Revan, “But there key is there. That’s where we need to go.”

“Wait!” said Jonas, standing up, “How do you even know if it is or not?”

“Call it instinct,” smiled Revan as he started to walk.


* * *


“This is it,” said Revan, as he and his companions peaked through a thick line of bushes. There were just out the front of the large gates that provided entrance to the complex (or temple).

“Do you know how many there are?” asked Carth

“Two at the entrance, four along each side of the wall, and another four in a room just inside of the gates. (They check for clearance.)” said Nom, ticking them off on his fingers as he counted.

“Right,” said Revan, “Well, here’s what we will do. Carth, Nom and I will waltz on in through the front doors, while you all wait here. Then when all is clear the rest of you will join us.”

“That’s stupid. Small chance of success, big chance we will get killed in the process,” said Jonas, then he smiled, “What are waiting for?”

“I always love your optimism, Jonas,” said Revan, shaking his head, “Seriously, I never get tired of it. Never.”

Carth, Revan and Nom all took deep breaths, then slowly proceeded out from the cover of the bushes and into the sight of the guards.

“You there!” yelled one of the guards, raising his blaster, “Halt, and state your business!”

“Well,” said Revan, “We were hired by the owner of this … facility, to locate a missing worker. And, as you can see … we have succeeded in recovering him and now me and my counterpart wish to go and collect our reward.”

“We were not told of any such thing,” said the guard suspiciously

“Well, no you wouldn’t have,” said Revan, “An escaped slave is nothing that the owner would wish to spill to anyone would he?”

“I guess not,” replied the guard, “But I still don’t like you. There is something wrong going on here, I feel like im not getting the whole truth,”

“Well that’s because.” came a voice from behind them, “You are not,”

“And who might you be?” asked the guard, pointing his blaster to behind Revan. He looked behind him and sighed; it was Jonas.

‘Don’t you ever just sit and do what your told?’ he said in Jonas’ mind

‘Why should you get all the fun?’ sneered Jonas

“I said, who might you be?” repeated the guard.

“Why spoil it?” said Jonas as he ignited his lightsaber.
The guard didn’t even get a single shot in before he was struck down by Jonas. But the others weren’t so unlucky.
Revan and Nom both ignited their lightsabers and attacked the guards which came around the corner of the wall and through the gate. Carth unsheathed his vibrosword and engaged with another of the guard.

The fight was over quickly, but they were delayed nonetheless; Carth was still fighting with his own opponent.

“Anytime, Carth.” said Revan smiling as he took a seat on the ground.

“Just because im not a Jedi.” said Carth, “Its not like I can cut through his blade or anything,”

“Neither can we if you remember.” reminded Revan.

After another five minutes, Carth finally had the last stroke and struck down his guard. With a small yell, the guard fell to the ground limp.

“About time!” said Jonas, “I was about ready to strike both of you down because of your pathetic cause for battle!”

“Lets just go,” said Carth.

“Wait,” said Nom suddenly

“What?” asked Revan

“Well, doesn’t this seem abit strange? We are all the other guards? And not only that, where are all the workers?”

“Perhaps we shall find out soon enough.” said Revan.

“Are you guys done yet?” came Mira’s voice

Revan laughed, “Yes, you can all come out.”

“Besides,” said Atton, “Why did we all have to stay behind?”

“I didn’t want them to know how many of us there are,” said Revan

“Smart,” piped up Jolee, “But apparently un-needed,”

“Indeed,” said Revan, “Well, lets go!”

* * *

“Well this is an eye opener and no mistake,” said Nom.

They had just entered the complex and were greeted by a horrible stench of death and decay. Thousands of corpses littered the ground before them, each one with evidence upon their bodies from a stroke of a lightsaber.

“Ah,” said Jonas, “Home,”

“Disgusting!” cried Nom, “How dare you insult my friends and whom I considered my family!”

“Death is natural, live with it.” said Jonas

“We will mourn for whose lives have been lost,” assured Revan, “But not now.”

Nom nodded and proceeded forwards, carefully to make sure he did not step on anyone, which proved to be very difficult.
They finally reached a set of stairs and proceeded slowly to the top.

“It is near,” whispered Jonas to Revan, “You can feel it?”

“Yes,” replied Revan, “I can feel it,”

They came to an extremely large room and walked to the middle, but stopped when they heard the hissing of many lightsabers coming to life.

Hundreds of dark figures leaped from the floors above and landed to form a circle around the group of companions. Each of them wielding a red lightsaber.

“Ah, Hi,” said Nom, “Sorry for the intrusion, we were just looking for someone who is said to be the True Sith. Know him?”

The figures slowly walked inwards, closing in on them.

“Not up for any talk after all,” said Nom, igniting his lightsaber as the rest wielded their own weapon.

* * *


“We don’t have time for this!” yelled Jonas, as he took on four Sith at once.

“Nom looked towards a door at the far end of the corridor and noticed a tall figure standing proudly. They were cloaked, but they seemed to be illuminated by some dark aura. A soft shroud of mist hung around them, just covering their face from sight.

“Revan!” he yelled, “Look!”

Revan looked to where Nom was pointing and seen him. He leapt up and over the soldiers of Sith, but the figure just turned his back on Revan and walked away, up a flight of stairs.

Nom and Jonas followed him and landed right next to Revan.

“Go!” yelled Carth, “Kill him … Do it!”

They looked to their friends while they were fighting and reluctantly, turned. The three of them faced the doorway in front of them and started to run forward and up the flight of steps.

They got to the top and proceeded into another room, around the same size as the last one. And alone, in the middle of the room stood the tall figure. As they neared, he unhitched his cloak and threw it to the side.

“Welcome back, Nom Kavar.” he said, “I was wondering where you had gotten off to.”

Nom looked at the man standing in front of him puzzled, then gasped. It was his master, the boss of the mining operation, the boss of everything in the complex. The person who he had come to trust, even though he had to work for him, Nom had come to think of him as a father figure.
But that was a long lost thought now, as Nom Kavar stared into the heart of his future. Right here, right now, the fate of the galaxy and Nom Kavar would be decided, right now, the battle for all life was about to begin.


Last edited by The_Catto; 03-10-2007 at 06:47 AM.
The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-09-2007, 05:05 AM   #132
Rabish Bini
Sydney Roosters Genius
 
Rabish Bini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NSW, Aus
Posts: 2,128
Current Game: KotOR III
More good chapters as always
Keep it up!


Yes
Rabish Bini is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-09-2007, 05:41 AM   #133
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Thanks Akuma.
Remember folk's, any corrections what could be made, any at all, let me know I don't bite, lol. (Well, not much anyway )

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-09-2007, 11:58 AM   #134
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Corrections? How about this: ridicules (should be ridiculous). Anyway good Chapter as always and I'm wondering what will happen next.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-10-2007, 04:55 AM   #135
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Thanks, Topsite. Yeah, i re-read through that chapter today cause i was bored and i noticed a number of little mistakes i made. So, instead of typing this, i should be over there (where?) editing the mistakes. But there you have it, im here, typing this ... right ... now ... yeah ...

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-10-2007, 07:21 AM   #136
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
The final battle at last... So why did the mining boss suddenly slaughter everyone?:S It's a bit strange that the guards were guarding nothing



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-10-2007, 07:32 AM   #137
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by beehoon
The final battle at last... So why did the mining boss suddenly slaughter everyone?:S It's a bit strange that the guards were guarding nothing
Haha, yeah. But not to worry! that will all be explained in the next or next next chapter!!!!!
spoiler:
i think ........ hmm ... maybe ...

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-13-2007, 05:37 AM   #138
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
CHAPTER 27

“No comment?” he asked, as he continued to gaze at Nom.

“You …,” faltered Nom, “I trusted you.”

“Just goes to show, how foolish you truly are,” replied the Sith, “But I must say, I am impressed. Becoming a Jedi! I never would have thought.”

“Just goes to show, how foolish you truly are,” mimicked Nom.

The Sith laughed, “Indeed,” he said, “Indeed it does.

“Why did you kill everyone?” asked Nom, “What did they do for you to destroy everything they have worked so hard to build. For you, no less.”

“You did not know?” asked the Sith, “Well, you have been gone for long Nom. They were planning to rebel against me. They had learned, somehow, of my true identity. It had eluded me for a time, of how they found out, and how long they had known. But, in time, I found out that they had had a spy within my grasp. Why I didn’t not find this out, I do not know, perhaps their spy was trained in such arts of such barriers around his mind to evade such intrusions. I captured him however, and broke his mind down until I could see every little piece of information he held within his grasp. And, well, after that session, he was incapable of doing anything else. So, he was disposed of.”

“Then I sought out the other leaders of the small pathetic scheme, and disposed of them. But, it seemed, that just motivated the rest of them. And they continued along with their operation. I lost nearly half of my army, which I had hoped to lead with on my assault on the Republic. That surprised me greatly, for I thought that they were just weak slaves; not worth bothering with. But, alas, I was wrong again. I have a rather annoying habit of that happening lately.”

“Now, enough of this talk, you have come to kill me, have you not? Why haven’t you? I can’t see why you would want to in the first place. I’m just trying to create a new galaxy, one with no suffering, or pain. But you know, you cannot create a new galaxy, without destroying the old one.”

“And that,” said Revan, igniting his lightsaber “Is something we will not let happen. We will kill you before that happens.”

“I got a better idea,” he replied, “How about I rip out your small intestine and use it as a jump rope?”

“Oh,” said Jonas, as he ignited his own lightsaber, “I like that one! Can I use it?”

“Use this!” said the Sith. He pulled out a hilt and ignited it.
The crimson blade shown brightly in the dimly-lit room. Illuminating the walls with a blood stained texture.


Jonas leaped forward, Nom sprinted forwards, lightsaber held high, and Revan jumped up and over to land behind the True Sith Master. Bringing his lightsaber downwards, Nom ducked his head, just narrowly evading a stroke that would have left him without a head. Jonas and Revan both swung their lightsaber around, but the Sith jumped up, and the two sabers clashed together, emitting a shower of sparks; making them shower Nom.

Laughing, the Sith made a strike at him, but Revan blocked it and elbowed the sith in the jaw. Rubbing the side of his mouth, the Sith said, “Nice one. But it is a pity that it wont happen again!”

He lunged forward, and with speed more than anything that they had every seen before, the Sith reached behind his back and pulled out another lightsaber. He brought it in low, swinging it to the side and flicked his wrist, bringing it directly up towards Revan’s face. He felt the hot air that was being emitted from the tip of the saber and flung his head back, cracking his neck as he went.

Nom, still down on the ground, brought his lightsaber up and across, catching the sith by surprise as Jonas sliced downwards. The two blades hit the same saber at the same time but on opposite sides, which caused the Sith’s blade to fly out of his hands, spinning wildly as it went.

The Sith Master, flipped backwards and landed on one knee near a corner of them room.

“You fight well!” he said, the empty room making his voice seem ten times loud as normal, “We could really use your talents.”

Revan laughed, “No. But thanks for offering!”

“You know,” said Jonas, “I usually like to know the name of the person im about to kill. Makes me feel closer to the victim.”

Nom shuddered. But the Sith just stared at him.

“You are truly evil, aren’t you?” he said smiling, “I like it. However, if you truly must know my name; it is, Zharik: True leader of the race known as Sith.”

“That’s a whole bunch of names,” said Jonas, “But I like it. Corny, yes, but it has a sense of power to it.”

Zharik sneered, “Much better than Jonas.” With that, he lunged off the ground once more and landed in front of Jonas. He gathered the Force to his palm, where it reached they very tips of his fingers, pulsating the air around them. He pushed Jonas hard in the chest, but instead of just him falling to the ground, Jonas was flung all the way across the room where he slammed hard into the opposite wall; shattering the bricks behind him and falling to the ground, unconscious.

For a full hour, Lightsaber clashed with lightsaber as slashes, swipes and lunge were made at each opponent. Revan knelt on one knee panting, whilst Nom held a stich at his side. The Sith Lord, apparently was unharmed or did not even express the slightest signs of slowing down.

“Enough of this so called ‘fighting’,” he said, “I daresay your companions would have been killed by now, so I guess I should get this over and done with.”

Revan and Nom both ran at Zharik and swung their lightsabers. Revan aimed to strike at the shoulders, Nom aimed a slash across Zharik’s legs. With no means of escape, Zharik quickly gathered the Force around him and created a protective casing around his body; it pulsated with a faint greenish blue colour. Electricity soared up both blades of the sabers as they hit the barrier and went through the fingers of their occupants and up their arms; making them go numb with shock.

“What?” gasped Revan, “How - what was that?”

“Power,” said Zharik, simply.

“That was unbelievable!” said Nom

“Join me, and you will learn such things.” said Zharik

“I think I can learn that myself thanks,” said Revan, lunging forward once more.

‘It’s useless,’ thought Revan, as the saber bounced right off the Barrier and sending another jolt of electricity up his arm, ’Just useless!’

Nom suddenly bounded forwards and projected a Force wave at Zharik, sending him several feet in the air and crashing to the floor.

“It looks like that this battle will have to be fought using the Force, not the lightsaber.” he stated, deactivating his saber.

“Brave of you boy,” said Zharik, “Lowering your defences like that. Even when, I could do something like … this!”
Zharik threw his lightsaber and sent the crimson blade heading straight for Nom. There was no time to move, no time to get out of the way from his attack.

But the attack never came; the saber bounced off Nom, creating shimmering flashes of blue and green light, which surrounded him.

“Ah,” smiled Zharik, “You are clever!”

“And cautious,” added Nom.

“How did you know how to do that?” asked Revan

Nom smiled, “I can only usually see something once and I will be able to do the exact same thing.”

“You are clever,” said Revan.

* * *


“Fine,” said Zharik at the other side of the room, “The Force, it is.”

He deactivated his saber, clipped it to his belt and prepared himself in a fighting stance.

“After you,” he said, gesturing mockingly to Nom.

Nom looked around him to see if there was anything that he could distract Zharik with; there was nothing.

Then he thought of something … ‘Just maybe’

‘Master’ he said through thought, ‘I have an idea on how to get through that barrier of his. But if I do it, it will show him how and he will be able to get through mine also.’

‘That does not matter if we can kill him,’ replied Revan, ‘What is this idea of yours?’

* * *

Zharik looked from Nom to Revan cautiously. What were they planning? With the power of them both, they had been able to block him out of their minds permanently to be able to plan their attack undisturbed. He couldn’t have that.

“Enough!” he cried, breaking a chunk of rock out of the wall and flinging it toward the two Jedi. Nom and Revan dodged the pieces of rock and ran forward. Revan jumped up high, but Zharik’s concentration was directed at Nom who had both of his arms outstretched with the bottom of his palms stuck together; making his hands point out in opposite directions. Small jolts of energy were starting to pulsate within his grasp, spreading from the very tips of his fingers to the middle of his palms.

Zharik went to try and imbue more power into his barrier, but stopped as he heard Nom yell, “Now!”

Zharik looked up and seen Revan springing down on him, lightsaber pointed directly at his skull. All of a sudden he felt an enormous push against his chest and felt the power drain from his body.

“This cannot be happ -,” but he did not get the rest of his sentence out. Nom had fired a blast of Force energy that he had gathered together from the tiny molecules of water from the air. He then added a small amount electricity shocks of the Force and accentuated their power with the water. It was not a Dark Side power, but yet, it was not a power of the light either.

No weapon for melee design would have been able to penetrate the barrier, but it was created from the Force. And if it was created from using the Force, then maybe, just maybe, it could be dissolved by the Force; and that’s just what had happened.
With Nom disabling his means of protection, Zharik had been left defenceless, open to attack. Revan straightened his saber and pointed it at Zharik’s chest as he flew towards the ground. But he was stopped in mid-flight!

Just as Revan been only seconds away from cleaving his head in two, Zharik used the Force to grab onto the body of Revan, and was able to hold him exactly where he was, making him immobilized. Zharik held Revan up in the air with the Force grip and squeezed his body. He felt that he was being forcefully pushed through a very, very thin tube and shooting downwards, losing breath, gasping for air. But as soon as it had begun, Revan felt his muscles relax and he fell to the ground, with a small grunt, he looked up …

Nom was holding the hilt of his lightsaber, whilst the purple blade drove through the chest of the True Dark Lord of the Sith. His eyes widened in shock and anger, Zharik stared down at the blade, then to the determined look on Nom’s face.

“It’s not possible,” he gasped

“It’s not, probable,” corrected Nom, as he pulled the blade out of Zharik’s chest and let his body fall to the ground. His chest raising and falling as he struggled to gain breath. Slowly, Zharik felt the beats of his heart, slow, his eye lids started to close and his hearing became faint, as the beats of his heart slowed till a standstill.

“So,’ said Revan, “it is done,”

Nom turned to look at Revan and felt the breath run out of his body. Before he could say anything at all, an extremely bright, blood-red blade of a lightsaber, pierced it’s way through the back and out again through the chest of Jedi Master, Revan: The Saviour of the Galaxy.





So, there it is, only a couple more chapters to go. I bet you didnt see this one coming ... well, maybe you did, maybe you didnt. But anyways, just have to wait till next chap to see how it all pans out for Nom.

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-13-2007, 08:20 AM   #139
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
I don't think Jonas introduced himself... Ooh, that dirty backstabbing traitor! Kreia would be spinning in her grave if Malachor V hadn't been destroyed! The part where you described the position of Nom's hands was rather awkward. It got the point across, but not very smoothly.



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-13-2007, 12:09 PM   #140
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Another good Chapter as always Mr_BFA and I'm looking foward to the final chapters.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-14-2007, 03:55 AM   #141
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
@Beehoon: Yeah, i just didnt have a clue how to write what i wanted to write lol. It got confusing after a while so i just settled with that. If you have any tips on how to adjust the wording to make it sound better, by all means, let me know! lol.

@Topsite: Thankyou, once again.


Last edited by The_Catto; 03-15-2007 at 08:37 AM.
The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-17-2007, 09:52 AM   #142
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_BFA
Nom had fired a blast of Force energy that he had gathered together from the tiny molecules of water from the air. He then added a small amount electricity shocks of the Force and accentuated their power with the water. It was not a Dark Side power, but yet, it was not a power of the light either.
This line is a bit strange... What, did Nom manage to achieve fission of the water molecules? And the "small amount electricity shocks of the Force" is awkward too... Can't really get the idea you're trying to convey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_BFA
Nom who had both of his arms outstretched with the bottom of his palms stuck together; making his hands point out in opposite directions. Small jolts of energy were starting to pulsate within his grasp, spreading from the very tips of his fingers to the middle of his palms.
"It was the typical Ryu/Ken "AHBUGIIIIT!!" move." Sorry, just couldn't resist that It is hard to describe, but maybe something like "Nom who had put his hands together, and now stretched out his arms and slowly spread his fingers so that both palms were facing Zharik." Meh, it's not good either, but hopefully it'll help you think of alternate ways to describe it.



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-18-2007, 06:13 AM   #143
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Haha, HADOKEN!!!!
lol, yeah i see what you're saying!

The first quote. I just tried to maginify in explaining how Nom did what he did. It wasnt a really good description but it was the best what i could come up with lol. The small molecule particles of H2O in the air mixed with, say (the Force Lightning power). Thats what i tried to mix with. It would have been way wierder i reckon if i just put "Samll droplets of water used with the Force Lightning power" lol.

With the second quote, i kinda took the idea of like a Kamahameha or lol, something like that anyways. But, it kinda just didn't work, haha.
Your change of the hand placement fits a bit better as i can actually (if i was reading from a point of view from someone else, other than myself) invision what Nom is doing.
Because even when i read my version now, i just can't ... understand, lol.

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-19-2007, 04:52 AM   #144
Rabish Bini
Sydney Roosters Genius
 
Rabish Bini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NSW, Aus
Posts: 2,128
Current Game: KotOR III
Another good chapter. And I must say, your spelling is improving, no offence.
Street Fighter rules!!!


Yes
Rabish Bini is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-19-2007, 07:15 AM   #145
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Haha thanks Akuma. No offence taken what so ever!
And hell yeah .. Street Fighter rules! lol.

Anyway, while im posting this .. i should say (so i stay on topic) that the next chapter is not coming along as smoothly as i planned but it should be out soon. Wow this is turning out a way longer Fic than what i first anticipated!

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-19-2007, 09:28 AM   #146
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Point taken on the first quote. I suppose you just meant to say that he used it to augment the Force Lightning somehow?:S What's a kamahameha? I've really struck a blank where the desription is concerned... Maybe you'll improve on it if you ever have a sudden urge to edit, lol.



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-20-2007, 07:01 PM   #147
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Yeah, maybe. I might actually go over the whole Fic after i've done and edit/add/remove parts to make it more of a better story.

lol, a Kamahameha is just something from DBZ.

Next chapter hopefully should be up soon, but not tomorrow (my 18th!!!!!!! w0ot!!!!!)
So maybe the day after or saturday.

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-21-2007, 02:06 AM   #148
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Happy Birthday Mr_BFA (I might create a Thread for you in Ahto). My Birthday is on the 25th. Looking foward to the next Chapter.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-23-2007, 11:23 AM   #149
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Happy belated birthday! Heh, I beat you by a few months DragonballZ? Never read/watched it. Happy birthday to you too, Topsite!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-06-2007, 06:57 AM   #150
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Chapter 28

OK. This is a very, very short chapter. And when i say, very short ... i MEAN very short. I just got really bored and decided that i would cut off this chapter to where i was at and i would start anew. So yeah .. im starting to concentrate more and more on my novel so i dont know when the rest of the story will be finished.
Anyways .. back to the very, very, very short chapter.


CHAPTER 28

‘I’ve been itching to do that for a long time.’

‘You coward,’ yelled Nom, as Revan’s body fell to the ground and Jonas stepped away, ‘You could not fight him fairly? You had to murder him?’

‘I had to, otherwise he would have killed me,’ admitted Jonas, ‘I watched, silently while you two fought with Zharik. I seen your power and I seen it dwindle as the battle raged on. And I waited. Waited for the perfect chance.’

‘Bah! Perfect chance!’ spat Nom, ‘So much for needing your help,’

‘True,’ said Jonas, walking around Revan’s body and standing before Nom, ‘I thought that I would need Revan to destroy the threat. And, in part, I was right. You see … my plan was to let Revan, and you, tire the Sith and then . . . Then I would strike. Killing all three of you. But I have succeeded in only one aspect of my plan. I have killed Revan, I missed out on my chance to kill the Sith, but at least I will have the honour in killing you.’

‘Not if I’ve got anything to say about it,’ said Nom, igniting his lightsaber once more.

Jonas smiled and leapt forwards. Nom brought his purplish blade up to block the oncoming attack and he swung his saber around to parry. Jonas jumped to the side and lunged forwards aiming for Nom’s throat, but ducking forwards and swirling around to get behind Jonas, Nom was able to slash across the back of Jonas’ legs.
With a grunt Jonas fell to his knees and looked up as Nom walked in front of him. Nom sliced the top of Jonas’ lightsaber hilt off; it would not be able to ignite, anymore.

‘Indeed you are powerful,’ said Jonas, ‘You have a mighty gift young one. Choose what you will, but a power such as that cannot go unhindered and overlooked for too long. I can see it in your eyes. You long for control of your life and of your power. Revan, Bastila, they would have made sure that that would not have ever happened. They were afraid of you and your power, but no more. You can be free, do what you will when you feel most like to. Isn’t that what you have dreamt about for all these long years? Not to be a Jedi, just not to be controlled and ordered around like some useless dog.’

Nom looked at Jonas, then he gazed to the doorway. He felt the presence of Carth, Mira and Atton. Then closely followed by the rest of the companions.
Carth looked from Zharik’s body, then to Revan’s, then to Nom and Jonas.

‘What happened?’ he yelled, rushing over to Revan’s body

‘This bastard murdered him!’ said Nom, not taking his eyes off of Jonas.

‘Well, what are you waiting for? Kill him!’ cried Carth

‘No,’ whispered Nom. Jonas smiled.

‘Oh, I wouldn’t smile if I were you,’ snarled Nom, ‘you will be trialled for this and every other murder you have ever committed.’

‘There is nobody who would dare trial me,’ spat Jonas.

‘The Jedi Council will,’ said Nom

Jonas laughed, ‘There is no Jedi Council boy!’

‘Yes there is,’ replied Nom, ‘Your looking at them.’

Jonas looked around, ‘What,’ he scoffed, ‘A child, an old man, a desperate and weak woman, a blind Sith and a idiotic fool? You are all pathetic!’

‘Think what you will,’ said Nom, ‘You will be trialled nonetheless and you will be punished. You have no choice.’

‘No choice, eh?’ sneered Jonas

All of a sudden Carth’s voice echoed around the stone chamber.
‘Look out!’ he yelled

Nom looked to where Carth was pointing and he seen Revan’s lightsaber coming straight towards him. He brought his lightsaber up and was able to knock it away. But it came straight back for him; Jonas was laughing.
Nom looked to him and before he knew what he was doing, a purple blade was piercing Jonas’ chest and there was a soft thump, as the hilt of Revan’s lightsaber fell to the ground. Nom de-activated his lightsaber and let Jonas’ limp body fall to the ground.

‘So,’ said Nom, walking over and kneeling softly over his masters body, ‘It is done.’

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-06-2007, 07:17 AM   #151
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Both Revan and the Jedi Exile are dead (Unless if you are fooling us). Oh well, justice has been done and I'm looking foward to the next (Long, long, long, long, long) Chapter.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-14-2007, 01:08 PM   #152
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
^ Look who is back. Don't listen to him Mr_BFA, either he is jealous or joking around.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-16-2007, 07:50 AM   #153
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Ah, bloody hell. Why are you back? Can't you annoy somebody else for a change? Jeeze .....

Anyways ... here is the next chapter .... hope you all like it.

CHAPTER 29

‘So, it is done.’ said Nom as he knelt by his master. He lifted up his hand and held it firmly. As much as he and Revan argued, he could not hide the feeling that Revan had been more like a father to him, than a Mentor.
He closed his eyes and went to sought out a string, a whisper; anything that would persuade him that Revan was not indeed dead. Just unconscious; something, anything at all.
He did not know how long he sat there, but Nom refused to move. Searching … gathering … ever, searching.

And there it was.

‘I’ve found you,’ he said to himself, smiling. Embedded deep within Revan, there was still a tiny pulse of light, which fought against the ever growing darkness. So tiny in fact, that if Nom werent searching for it, he would have completely overlooked it. But no matter … that was all he needed.
‘What is it?’ Nom heard Carth’s voice say.
‘Our leader is strong,’ replied Nom, still with his eyes closed, focusing in on the tiny bit of light.

Carth looked at him in wonder. He was practically only a kid (in his eyes, anyway) but here he was. Carth suddenly felt warmth spread through his whole body. He thought that it must have been from a draft somewhere in the walls, but it was actually the Force, building itself to form an aura over Revan and Nom.
Mira and the others were sitting quietly against the wall next to the entrance to the chamber. Silent, was the air in that room for the time that the companions were in there. None of them said anything at all. However, they couldn’t help but gasp as they saw a bright blue illumination, which started to outline Nom as he knelt beside Revan.

* * *

Blackness was all that could be seen. Even when he looked at his hands, nothing was there.

‘So this is what I have become.’

But as he looked around, the blackness started to lighten and he noticed that he was in a small, four walled chamber.

And just forward of him, there was a large stone door. He walked forwards, but as he continued to examine it, he noticed that there was no control panel, handle or anything that could allow the door to open. That’s when he seen writing just above the top of the door, start to glow. It stated:

This is the room of memories.
A place in which to reflect.
A place of understanding.
The opening shall not open
For those who do not understand.

To proceed, you must step forward and,
Leave behind, that which you have
Never been able to forget.

To live in the future will be the only
Way to survive in the past,
Only then, will you be able to proceed.


Suddenly, to his surprise, on the wall to his left a picture started to form. He looked around for a source of the projection, but could not find anything. He walked forwards and stood in front of the wall and looked into the scene.

* * *

‘Come on,’ muttered Nom. The pulsating orb of light what he was pushing all of his energy into was starting to grow larger and brighter.
A blue outline started to surround the white orb and blue streaks of energy protruded from the centre of it. They shot outwards and pierced in Revan’s heart. A large string of this blue light, then struck out and pierced Nom in the heart.
He grunted, but stayed where he was. He could feel his energy draining, and he was struggling to hold his consciousness together. But still, he stayed.

As Nom took a deep breath, Revan’s heart started to produce small murmurs of sound and movement. He opened his eyes and he was looking into the deep blue eyes of his Master, as they started to slowly flutter open.

‘Master,’ he whispered.

‘Nom,’ replied Revan.

Nom let out a small smile, before he seen purple rays start to obscure his vision and he fell to the ground and lost all feeling and sight.

* * *

‘Poor kid was exhausted,’ said Carth as he walked ahead with Revan, back out of the front doors of the mining complex. Looking over his shoulder he saw Nom’s body being levitated by Atton and Mira who stood behind him. Closely followed by Jolee

‘He should not have done that,’ wheezed Revan. Even though Nom had somehow rejuvenated his heart, Revan was still incredibly weak; he had to rely on Carth to give him support so he could stand upright and walk, ‘I am grateful however.’
‘Revan, can I ask you a question?’ asked Carth

‘Sure.’

‘Did anything happen after … you know .. After what Jonas did?’

* * *

Revan continued to look at the four walls that surrounded him. Each with their own memories from his life. He had come to this conclusion, just because of the simple fact it showed him and what he had done during the past few years.

It showed him on the bridge of his flagship during the Mandalorian Wars. Him ripping Malak’s jaw clean off. Him torturing helpless innocents.
He turned to the wall behind him and seen his most recent failure.
Bastila screaming as her precious body was pierced by Jonas’ lightsaber. He felt the same ripping of his heart as he did then.

Seeing Nom’s slip once more, making him question his own teachings. How Nom had hit him on the Ebon Hawk. Revan couldn’t help but to release a small smile. It had woken him up to what he was actually doing, and he could unleash one hell of a punch.
That’s when the image disappeared from the wall. And that’s when he realized what he had to do ………



‘… Revan?’

‘Oh, sorry Carth.’ said Revan, ‘What happened after what Jonas did to me, you ask?’
Carth nodded.

Revan smiled, ‘My sins were forgiven.’

* * *

‘Hey Nom!’ yelled Thorin, ‘Hurry up, you’re going to miss it!’
‘I’m coming, be quiet!’ yelled back Nom as he sprinted across the grounds of the mining complex. His little legs not allowing him to go as fast as he wanted to.
When he stood next to Thorin as he got to the entrance to the mining tunnel, Thorin smiled.

‘Happy 9th birthday!’ he said, holding out his hand.

In the middle of his palm sat a green jewel; the light from the sun outside produced bright green rays that shot out from the rock and onto the walls. Producing flurries of colour.

‘It’s amazing!’ said Nom as he held the jewel in his own hand, ‘Thank you!’

‘No problem!’ said Thorin, slapping Nom on the back, ‘I found that just the other day, down in tunnel five. Seeing though your birthday was almost here, I decided to keep it for you.’

‘Thank you,’ repeated Nom.

Thorin smiled, ‘It’s Okay.’

A siren sounded in the distance and Thorin looked back down the tunnel. A gleam of longing suddenly erupted into his eyes. He shook his head and looked back to Nom.

‘I have to go,’ he said, ‘Hey Nom, we’re friends, right?’

‘Right,’ nodded Nom, ‘Why do you ask?’

‘Just making sure.’ replied Thorin. With that, he turned and started to walk back down the tunnel, leaving Nom to walk back to the complex on his own. Looking at the jewel and all its glory as he went.

Suddenly, when he got to the front gates, he heard an almighty explosion and looked back around to the entrance to the tunnels. Smoke rose from the large wooden doorway, and fire licked its way out of holes from the hills.

‘THORIN!’ screamed Nom as he turned around and sped back towards the mines.

He could hear the guards shouting his name, but he didn’t care; his friend was in that inferno.

He got to the entrance but it was blocked off by huge boulders which fell from the rooftop. Trying with all his might, whilst continuing to yell his friends name, he grabbed onto the large boulders and tried to move them.
They stayed frigid. Locked into the earth, not moving an inch. Sealing his friends, and all the other people in that tunnel to their deaths.

The last thing that he remembered, someone grabbed Nom by the shoulders and started to carry him away. Tears streaming down his face, he cried for Thorin, expecting to see him walk back over the hill, or through one of the fire-soaked openings. But there was nothing.
Thorin was one person, he could not save.

* * *

Nom felt his mind reach back into the shards of consciousness, but he did not move. That was the first time he had dreamt of that since Thorin’s death. And to this day, it still pained him, that he could not save his best friend. He slowly turned over, as best he could (his body ached all over) and silently wept.
He reached into his pocket in his robes and pulled out the small green jewel, which he still had from that day. It had lost its glow by now, but its beauty remained the same.
Slowly after a couple of hours, his eyes became heavy and he drifted off into another uneasy sleep.


Last edited by The_Catto; 04-16-2007 at 08:32 AM.
The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-16-2007, 08:25 AM   #154
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
The fatherly bond between Revan and Nom reminds me of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan and Anakin type relationship. Very good chapters as always and I'm glad that Revan has been resurrected.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-16-2007, 08:32 AM   #155
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Thanks Topsite. Yeah, i just couldn't bring myself to kill him off. I thought about it, but it seemed like a bad idea.
Anyways ... only a few chapters to go! W0ot!

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-19-2007, 06:15 AM   #156
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
CHAPTER 30

“Nom,’ said Mission quietly, softly stirring him awake, ‘It’s been three days. You need to eat something.”

“Thanks,’ he said sitting up in the bunk and taking the small tray Mission was offering him.

‘What’s that?” she asked, looking down at the jewel beside him.

“I’ve had it since I was 9,” he said, ‘It was a gift from a friend of mine. He was my best friend.”

“That was nice of him.” she said.

“That day he died,” he quietly replied.

“I’m sorry,’ she said, as she got up to leave.

“Wait,” he said, “its not your fault. There’s nothing to be sorry for. That was a long time ago.”

There was an awkward pause, as both of them knew not what to say. So Mission just nodded and walked back out of the Dorm.

“A long time ago,” he said quietly to himself as he watched her go.

* * *


“Nom,’ said Revan, as he seen Nom walk into the Main Hold of the ship, “I’m glad to see your alright.”

“I had a dream,” he said, “But it was not like a normal dream. It was … so, violent.”

“What happened?” replied Revan

“It was about the day of my ninth birthday. The day my best friend was killed in a mining accident. I havent dreamt of that for over five years! Why am I suddenly dreaming of it now?”

“The Force can play tricks on us,” said Revan, “Sometimes, very cruel tricks. But I’m sure it was just a harmless dream of a memory. Or perhaps you dreamt of it because of all what has happened the past year, all of the death you have seen. All of the events which has occurred.”

“Yeah…” said Nom, “Where are going to now Master?”
Revan looked away from Nom for a second, and when he looked back at him, his eyes were full of thought.

“I am not sure yet,’ he said, “The threat has been diminished, so the Republic is safe, for a time.” Nom looked away from Revan and looked about the ship. He seen, M8-M7 the Astromech go past them and into the engine room. He could sense Atton training in the cargo hold, and Carth and Mira in the cock-pit. Jolee in the communication room with Mission and Zaalbar.
“Oh, and that reminds me,” said Revan suddenly. Nom looked back up at him, “You have done some extraordinary things with the Force since I met you Nom. Some things, which, even I could not do. You are nearly beyond me in amounts to being strong in the Force. Your presence itself is an aura of peace. And the part which you took in destroying the True Sith leader, and The Exile, I am very proud to say that I think you are ready to be a full fledged Jedi Knight.”

“Thank you Master,” Nom said overwhelmed, But are you sure? I have only been a Padawan for a year.”

“Do you want me to take back what I said?” said Revan raising an eyebrow.

Nom smiled, “Of course I don’t. Thank you, once again Master.”

“You are a JedI Knight, Nom. There is no need to call me Master, now.”

“Sorry,” said Nom, laughing, “It’s just become a habit.”

* * *

Everybody was in the Main Hold of the Ebon Hawk. Revan has asked them if they would meet him there to discuss what would happen now.

“I, myself, am going to Coruscant to help with the rebuild of the Jedi Council. But on the way, I will make sure that each of you will be dropped off at wherever you may wish to go.

“Taris!” said Mission. Zaalbar agreed with her with an almighty roar.

“I’m a hermit,’ said Jolee, “Where do you think I will go?”

Revan smiled, then looked towards Atton, Mira and Carth.

“Well?”

“If it is alright with you Revan,” said Atton, “Mira and I wish to accompany you to Coruscant.”

“Of course,” said Revan, “We will need all of the help we can get.”

Carth looked at Mira, then back to Revan, “I will head back to Telos.”

Revan nodded, “Nom?” he asked

“I don’t know why, but I am getting a feeling that I need to go back to Dantooine. If I can, in time, I will try to re-establish a point for learning once again in the Jedi Enclave.”
For a moment, Revan looked to be disappointed, but he nodded all the same.

“Very well.” he said

* * *

Jonas looked around him. He was in a circular room with, what looked to be, a small podium in the centre. The walls were completely smooth, no jagged edges of brick could be seen.

“You have failed.” came a voice. A voice he knew all too well.

“So what if I have failed,” he said, “What is it to you?”

“I had thought my teachings would have made a difference to you, Exile. But, I was wrong.” came the reply.

A rush of air started to circle around the room and congregated in the middle, next to the podium. Slowly, a ghostly form started to appear then, and the air gathered intensity until a person stood there. Completely whole, and solid.

“Kreia.” said Jonas, nodding his head in her direction, “I had thought I had finally disposed of you on Malachor V, all those months ago?”

“Oh, you did destroy my body. I am still dead, that is not to be mistaken. And yet, so are you, I see. You failed to kill the True Sith that lingered on the edge of the Galaxy. You first failed me, now you failed yourself. The revolution is complete.”

“Quit it with your riddles, Old Woman!” spat Jonas

“I did grow tired of your threats, and curses Exile Jonas. You have not changed.” she replied tiredly.

“What is this place?” he said, walking around the edges of the room.

“This,” said Kreia, looking around the room, “This is where you will stay for the rest of eternity. Long have you sought death and destruction. To sip the last dregs of life from the cup of your denial, and forsake all what you were meant for. You disappoint me, Jonas.”

“You cannot keep me here!” said Jonas, reaching for his lightsaber. He ignited the blade and lunged it into the smooth rock wall.

Nothing happened. He pulled it out of the wall and saw no scratch, no damage of any kind.

“Damn you old woman!” he cried, and turned sharply around to face her. But she was gone.

“Damn you,” he whispered.

* * *

Everyone stood at the end of the loading ramp of the Ebon Hawk. They had just docked at Taris and were seeing Mission and Zaalbar off.

“I wish I could say, it’s been fun.” said Mission.

“I know,” said Revan, “It was great seeing you again. Thank you for all of your help. We could not have done it without you.”

“Oh Revan,” she said, starting to laugh, “Your going to me us blush.”

“Now that’s something I’d like to see,” said Carth, “A blushing Wookiee.” They all laughed.

“I guess we should be going.” said Revan, “You would be wanting to get back to Telos wouldn’t you Carth?”

“What?’ he said, looking astonished at the idea, “And be able to have a shower, a decent meal, and not a worry in the Galaxy? No chance!”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” laughed Revan, as he patted Carth on the back as they walked back up the loading ramp, closely followed by Mira and Atton, and Jolee.
Nom looked at Mission.

“Well,” he said, uncomfortable, “Bye,”

“It was nice to meet you,” she said, “I hope I will have the chance to go to Dantooine sometime.”

“Well if you do, be sure to drop in and say Hi,” he replied smiling.

“Nom, you coming?” came Revan voice down the loading ramp.

“Yep!” he called back

“Bye.” said Mission

“Bye,” replied Nom. He turned around and slowly walked back up the loading ramp.

“To Telos!” he heard Revan shout triumphantly as he walked into the main hold. Nom just smiled and sat down.

* * *

The trip to Telos was longer than what first hoped it would be. Halfway there, they mad a ‘quick’ detour to Kashyyyk so they could drop Jolee off. So after all that, and another couple of days, they were at Telos’ docking station.

“Before you go,” said Carth, “Why don’t you all stay for the night and we can go and have a few drinks down at the cantina.”
They all were looking forward about the whole idea, so they didn’t say no. They went up to Carth’s apartment to get ready.

That night was the best night of Nom’s life.
When they were sitting down at a table in the northwest end of the cantina (right next to the Bith band) Revan told everybody about Nom turning 18.

“Why didn’t you tell us!” they all shouted.

“There was just too much going on at the time.” he replied laughing.

“Well,” said Carth, “In cause of this celebration, I will buy the next round!”

He got up out of his chair and went to the bar.

The rest of the night was mostly the same. Have one drink, finish it, then have another. It was in the very early morning, when the sun could be seen rising in the distance that they made it back to Carth’s apartment.

* * *

Next day, Nom woke to a extremely heavy, and pounding head. He cursed the rays of light that were shining into the apartment; the bitter taste in his mouth was unbearable.
He looked around and noticed that he was on the couch and got up. Steading himself as he stood.

“How are you feeling?” asked Revan

“Like a space cruiser drove straight into my head while it was still at light speed.” said Nom. Revan laughed, but stopped quickly and grimaced as he put his hand to his fore head.
The rest were feeling exactly the same as Nom and Revan.

“I’m getting too old for that.” said Carth.


It was night before they were set and at full health to continue travelling.

* * *

“Last stop.” said Revan, as they pulled out of hyperspace and Dantooine came into view.
They landed at Khoonda space port and Atton lowered the landing ramp.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” asked Revan.

“Positive,” Nom replied, “I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry.”

“OK,” said Revan. He reached into his robe pocket, “Here,” he said, as he handed Nom a large satchel.

“What’s this?” asked Nom, as he retrieved the satchel from Revan.

“Just something to get you started.” he replied.
Nom looked inside and it was full to the exploding point of Republic credits.

“You cannot give me this.” said Nom shocked.

“It is a gift,” said Revan, “For becoming of age and starting your own life.”

“Thank you.” Nom said graciously, “I’ll never forget you, Revan.”

Revan raised an eyebrow, “You think this is the end? Of course it is not. I will come back here to visit and I expect you to come to Coruscant every once in a while, as well.”

Nom laughed, “of course.” he said.

After saying their last goodbyes, Revan walked backup the loading ramp and Nom stood and watched the Ebon Hawk fly into the sky and disappear as it flew into space.

You cannot know exactly what life has in store for you. No matter how sure you are. Just close to a year ago, Nom Kavar was a slave boy, in a mining corporation, lead by a ruthless tyrant. But next thing he knew, he was travelling across the Galaxy with Revan, the Prodigal Knight and learning the ways of the Force. And now, here he was; starting a brand new life and looking forward to it.

“Well,” he said, as he put the satchel full of credits into his own robe pockets, “Here goes nothing.”


THE END


Well, there it is. An end to an era i guess.
Overall, How did you guys like it?

I may go over it, to edit, add, delete stuff later on.

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-19-2007, 11:06 AM   #157
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
I liked the ending. A bit too much dialogue for me, but it was still good nonetheless. I felt sorry for Jonas slightly, but if there will be a sequel to this, he could get his revenge. Anyway, a great Fan Fic, which when edited will be even better. Will you post this in the Archives now or wait to edit it?
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-19-2007, 11:30 PM   #158
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Argh, my comment didn't get saved @.@ Well, the ending seemed a bit rushed, and I got the impression that Nom was going to leave the Jedi Order despite having just been declared a Knight:S Jonas' fate was fitting though. There's typos, and do go through and edit them. I'm too lazy to point them out at the moment. It was entertaining read



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-20-2007, 08:14 AM   #159
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Im definitley going to edit before postingfor the Archives.
I'll re-write the ending to make it abit longer and more understandable.
Thankyou for all who have read this Fic and after i've done editing this one, i "may" start a sequel. ... Maayyybbeeee....
Anyways, thanks again!

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-22-2007, 12:17 AM   #160
Rabish Bini
Sydney Roosters Genius
 
Rabish Bini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NSW, Aus
Posts: 2,128
Current Game: KotOR III
bravo, a very good fic comes to a close, well done.


Yes
Rabish Bini is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > [FIC] The Second Coming Of Evil

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:13 PM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.