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Old 12-17-2000, 06:59 PM   #1
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Post Shakey AIr

Well, I just got off a 9 hour flight to florida and it sucked, putting me in the mood to design a new airline, (All rules here show relevance to my experience

Shakey Air Rules:

1) Sit in your seat, calmly, quietly and keep still, do not kick the seat in front.

2) If whoever may be behind you starts kicking your seat, you may (You are encouraged) to shout "Stop Kicking my Bloody chair!" (Those who put this phrase into a good Michael Caine impression will be given a tenner)

3) If you are seated in Bog standard class (Economy) you must not in anyway block the projection screen for more than five seconds.

4) If somebody ahead is blocking the large screen in Bog standard class, use the Handgun provided under your seat to aim for what ever part of the body is blocking the screen and shoot, even if you are not watching whetever tripe is on there. Do not worry about shooting a hole in the plane, All shakey Air planes are amour plated.

5) In the event of an emergency landing first put on the yellow life vest, it will make finding your body much easier. then put your head between your legs and kiss you're ass goodbye.

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Old 12-17-2000, 07:10 PM   #2
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You forgot the option to eject other passengers.
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Old 12-17-2000, 07:46 PM   #3
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I fly quite a lot, and I don't find the flights to be nearly as bad as the rest of it. Delays, cancellations, and all that. I was once stuck in the Toronto airport for 26 hours. I was sick as a dog the whole time, too. And there was this little kid who kept chewing on my shoe while I was trying to sleep. I kicked him in the face, but he just laughed at me.
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Old 12-17-2000, 07:53 PM   #4
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Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and *****-slap the mother@#%$ upside the head...


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Old 12-17-2000, 08:03 PM   #5
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When I'm in a plane, I can't stand it when the guy in front of me leans his chair and takes all my free space and I also can't stand it when I'm unable to lean my chair because of the guy behind me.




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Old 12-17-2000, 08:13 PM   #6
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I've never flown.
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Old 12-17-2000, 08:23 PM   #7
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Lucky you

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Old 12-17-2000, 08:49 PM   #8
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I will personally blow up every one of your airliners when its still at the gate.

Then at my trial, I won't be convicted because the jury will agree that the passengers were better off dead than having to fly on your suck ass airline

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Old 12-17-2000, 09:14 PM   #9
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Ouch
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Old 12-17-2000, 09:43 PM   #10
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but what if those passengers were going to England to hurt milkshake, then killing them would help him.

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Old 12-17-2000, 09:49 PM   #11
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Violence towards milkshake is not the answer. We must rig all of the airliners with nukes set to detonate upon landing so the entire British Isle gets destroyed!!
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Old 12-17-2000, 09:57 PM   #12
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I saw the Toronto airport when I went last summer Didn't stop or anything. Traffic their is bad, but still not as bad as the beltway

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Old 12-18-2000, 12:19 AM   #13
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Blow up the uk?? Why bother?! It'll be underwater by round about lunchtime anyway, lucky I'm not there, now I'm in FLORIDA!!

And Nute, you can have free non-bog class seats(First Class) if you don't blow my planes up, I plan to have brand new Shiney Airbus Double deckers

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Old 12-18-2000, 01:13 AM   #14
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I had a captian who said if we needed to smoke during flight, we needed to step outside and do it.

[This message has been edited by JR2000Z (edited December 17, 2000).]
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Old 12-18-2000, 01:38 AM   #15
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I think I remeber telling some jerk that...

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Old 12-18-2000, 01:52 AM   #16
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Im not kidding.
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Old 12-18-2000, 02:02 AM   #17
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I had to fly alone when I was like 8 years old. At least it wa sonly an hour flight. On second thought, I wasn't really alone; there were pilots and waitresses and stuff too. Just no one I knew.

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Old 12-18-2000, 12:20 PM   #18
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I'd be the jackass to request a seat in front of one of the emergency exits, then put my feet up when the plane is going down.

But, that's just me . . .

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Old 12-18-2000, 03:15 PM   #19
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Airbus sucks my balls! Boeing is the way to go, 777 all the way!!

And NO AIRPORT is busier than MY AIRPORT, O'HARE, and yes, its MINE.

Ok well not really, but I was just remebering the funny Irish bloke in Braveheart
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Old 12-18-2000, 06:53 PM   #20
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Boeing 777 is nothing compared to the 747.
747 all the way!

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Old 12-18-2000, 06:55 PM   #21
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i allways forget to return the Stewardess to her full locked and upright position upon landing
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Old 12-18-2000, 07:10 PM   #22
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"Shakey Airline." Yeah, that's a name that inspires confidence.

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Old 12-18-2000, 07:14 PM   #23
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Didn't I tell you to clean up your toys after you're done with them?

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Old 12-18-2000, 07:55 PM   #24
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Well i dont bother to fly, as i use something called a ferry, which takes cars to and from dover to calais, and all true brits knows what comes from calais
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Old 12-18-2000, 10:37 PM   #25
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the 777 is 100 million times better than the 747, I think GUNDOG will back this one up, it is the premiere airliner these days, their are no better plains......
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Old 12-18-2000, 10:44 PM   #26
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I once tried to do a jack knife(I think that's what the manuver is called) in a 737, on Flight Sim. I had the most realistic settings and it actually work.

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Old 12-19-2000, 12:08 AM   #27
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Try doing it 50 feet off the ground.
Try doing it 15 feet off the ground in an F22.

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Old 12-19-2000, 07:12 PM   #28
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My brother is gonna spend his first hour of chrismas day in a plane coming over here....
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Old 12-19-2000, 07:21 PM   #29
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Where's he coming from?

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Old 12-19-2000, 07:23 PM   #30
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I'll do the manuver in an F22, you've just got to tell me how to perform it and then wait 2 and a half weeks for me to get back home, or you could just tell me and I'd try it in a World War 2 Fighter

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Old 12-19-2000, 07:38 PM   #31
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I've probably already done it.
I'm the hottest F-22 pilot on this forum.
And I'm willing to prove it.

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Old 12-19-2000, 07:48 PM   #32
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I've not played a flight sim in a while, but I'm a pretty fair pilot. Just gimme an F-14D or an F-15E.
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Old 12-19-2000, 08:05 PM   #33
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nute... no. the raptor (f22) is my domain, i'd take you out straight away!
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Old 12-19-2000, 09:49 PM   #34
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My brother is gonna come from Ottawa.
from there he goes to Boston, takes another plane to NYC and one last plane directly to Dakar...

Oh yeah it's confirmed the Airbus A380 (A3XXX) is gonna come out in 2005-06
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Old 12-19-2000, 10:00 PM   #35
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When I get a semi-decent computer I swear I'll get a flight sim. I prefer WW II era over cheesy oh, I don't know, F22s

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Old 12-19-2000, 10:01 PM   #36
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If one of those A380 happen to crash it means more than 600 people will die just like that...

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Old 12-19-2000, 10:06 PM   #37
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Taarkin, If you want the best WW II flight sim then get: "Jane's WW II Fighters"
and I also prefer WW II era over cheesy oh, I don't know, F22s

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Old 12-19-2000, 11:59 PM   #38
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I am the best F-22 pilot here. I'm like Kinnison is in an X-Wing.
Also excellent in the F-16, MiG-29, and Me 262 (I'm "trained" as an bomber interceptor in the 262, so I lack against fighters)

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Old 12-20-2000, 12:06 AM   #39
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The WWII era is more classy to me. Dog fights seem more "personal".

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Old 12-20-2000, 12:24 AM   #40
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Certainly moreso than simply pointing yourself in the general direction of an enemy and shooting him down with a missile from a kajillion miles away.

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