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Old 06-16-2006, 02:23 AM   #121
Diego Varen
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Maybe it shouldn't be a Sith Lord in the next Fic, but a Jedi who was exiled from the Order and he serves Darth Sidious as a Dark Jedi.
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Old 06-16-2006, 04:25 AM   #122
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off topic:
i think our "Praesitlyn Campaign" is dying. wanna give it some life?

on topic:
i agree with pottsie, however, the exiled jedi should serve Dooku instead, because Dooku has experience in controlling dark jedi like Ventress


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Old 06-16-2006, 08:30 AM   #123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RC 1162
off topic:
i think our "Praesitlyn Campaign" is dying. wanna give it some life?

on topic:
i agree with pottsie, however, the exiled jedi should serve Dooku instead, because Dooku has experience in controlling dark jedi like Ventress
i say sith or DJ

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Old 06-16-2006, 09:27 AM   #124
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Sorry I was gone.

Anyways, I'll figure out what to do with the sith once bball's story unfolds. Thanks for all the suggestions though. If you have any more, feel free to post them.

[Offtopic]Yeah, let's dust off the 'ol Praesitlyn Campaign. [/Offtopic]

Btw, the next chapter is coming out today.



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Old 06-16-2006, 10:10 AM   #125
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Chapter 10: Battle of the Bridges
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------//
Forward Command Post – Mygeeto Mission Clock 13:00
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------//

Hunter threw himself to the metal floor as blaster bolts seared above his head. The chamber was no longer dark. On the contrary, the bridge conjunction was lit a dim red, due to the reflection of the hundreds of red blaster bolts that filled the chamber. Hunter looked to his left and saw that the bridge railing that he was hiding behind was glowing white-orange. “Fierfek!” he shouted and pushed off just in time before the railing gave way to the repeated blaster fire and blew inward. The same thing was happening all over the bridge.

Suddenly, the cavernous space began to glow light purple as the blue blaster bolts from the auto turrets mixed with the red. Hunter peeked over the railing to see an auto turret tear through lines of droids, standing in tight rows on the bridge next to them. The same thing was happening all around. Now that the droids had something else to keep them occupied, Iota Squad was free to do some maneuvering.

With the timely arrival of the Republic controlled auto turrets, a new wave of confidence washed over Hunter. He grabbed his rifle and poked it over the bridge railing. He unleashed a storm of plasma on the enemy droids. “Watch out!” Flash yelled, shoving Hunter’s face into the floor. Red rounds flew over Hunters head, skimming the back of his helmet.

“Thanks, Flash,” Hunter said casually, before he looked up. Droids began to pour in from the conduit from which they had entered.

“Where’d they get all these droids?” Max asked.

“I don’t know, but they’re not enough to pin down Iota Squad,” Storm said, chucking a grenade into the oncoming ranks of droids. The droids didn’t even look down as the thermal detonator bounced around at their feet. Hunter closed his eyes as the grenade detonated. Droid parts were sent air born, but none hit Iota Squad.

“Nice job,” Hunter commented.

“Yeah, nice job,” Flash said sarcastically. The bridge began to sway as the cables that held it up began to snap due to the explosion caused by the grenade. “This thing’s gonna fall.”

Hunter watched as two Trandoshans began to fire at the dwindling cables with their accelerated charged particle repeater submachine guns from a bridge a couple levels up. The lines quickly snapped and the bridge began to bend. “Hold on tightly,” Storm said, digging his fingers into the metal access strip as it fell. Hunter brought up his rifle as he fell. If he was correct, those Trandoshans were in charge of this trap. He tried to get a couple of shots off as he fell. The bolts seemed to bend as the bridge came closer to the bridge underneath them.

Crash! The bottom of the bridge bent under the weight of itself as it made contact with a conduit underneath the original. Hunter slid down nearly one hundred meters of metal before coming to a hard stop at the bottom. Droids continued to fire at them, despite their dwindling numbers caused by the auto turrets.

“Weeeee,” Flash said as he slid down the fallen down access strip. Max and Storm soon followed. Storm slid down with his vibro blades out, carving two parallel lines into the corrugated metal of the bridges floor. Iota Squad now stood in the middle of another conduit and they faced the same problem; they were surrounded by hostiles with little to no cover.

“Caleb, can you locate our position?” Max asked into his comm. system. “Our original path has been destroyed. We need an alternate path.”

“Copy that,” Caleb replied. “I’m looking for one now.” Storm took the opportunity to start nailing some more droids via his DC-15s pistol.

“I hope he hurries,” Hunter said, a blaster bolt nearly missing his already wounded shoulder. Hunter quickly brought up his rifle and shot the droid. “Dang droids.”

“Iota?” Caleb came through.

“Iota, here,” Max replied.

“I just finished getting you your instructions. I’m patching them to your holo map now.”

“Thanks for the assistance, Kappa.”

“Don’t mention it. Carry on.”

“Will do. Iota, out,” Max said in finality. The auto turrets now attacked in full force, providing time for Iota Squad to cut though the bridge and get on their way. Hunter was slicing through the metal using his fusion cutter. When he was done, he punched it in and stepped through on point; there were no hostiles ahead.

The rest of Iota Squad quickly followed through the hole. There was a covered section of the conduit just around fifty meters to their twelve. “Almost there,” Max said to comfort his squad.

Just then, ACP rounds began to flower the access strip with bullet holes. Hunter looked up and saw three Trandoshan mercenaries wearing high-tech, bulky black armor slide down on grappling lines. They were out of range below him by the time he got his rifle up, so Hunter simply shot their zip lines down. He didn’t now how far down the drop would have been, but he hoped that it would be enough to at least injure the mercenaries. The last thing that Hunter wanted to happen was get pinned down by droids and Trandoshans; those filthy di’kuts.

The incoming blaster bolts began to die down as the auto turrets finished up the last of the droids. It was amazing what a dozen or so auto turrets could do to a couple hundred droids. As a result of this decrease in blaster fire, the area began to dim. The only thing that gave off light was the occasional spark of a dieing droid and the dim light given off by melting metal.

Iota Squad crouched quietly down the narrow access strip, heading towards the IFP. Hunter could barely see his rifle stretch out in front of him, let alone a hostile that might be lurking at the end of his rifle. Suddenly, there was a thump behind them. Hunter flung around and gazed into the shadow. “What was that?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Max replied, struggling against the darkness.

“Probably just a droid arm,” Storm said reassuringly. “Let’s keep moving.” He walked up on point, but Hunter stood still, eyes still trying to focus.

“There’s a flashing light,” Hunter commented.

“What do you know; somebody dropped a mine right behind us,” Flash said happily.

“What did you say it was?” Max asked.

“He said it was a mine,” Storm replied, slightly annoyed. “If it is, it’ll blow us up if we don’t get out of here.”

“Roger that,” Max said. “Let’s move out.” They started to move on; still walking crouched as to minimize their surface area, the area where a bullet could hit. “What are you doing, Hunter?”

Hunter starred at the flashing red light. Someone or something was still behind them. He carefully brought up his rifle and gazed through the scope. Hunter starred into the face of what appeared to be an assassin droid. He reflexively squeezed the trigger on his DC-15s blaster rifle, but by the time the bolts reached the assassin droid, it was able to easily sidestep the rounds and speedily run to the other end of the bridge.

“What was it?” Flash asked curiously.

“An assassin droid,” Hunter replied. “A fast one.”

“And what was the light?” Max asked, starting to feel a little worried.

Hunter looked down at it through his scope. He motioned for them to run towards the covered area of the conduit. “A mine!” He shouted. Iota Squad was sprinting at top speed, trying to escape the explosion. ACP rounds began to chase them towards the opening. No doubt the Trandoshans were behind this. They were more skilled than the regular mercenaries; they were some kind of Trandoshan commandos. He’d make sure to tell the commander when he had the time.

Storm grunted as three rounds hit his armor and bounced off. Luckily, they hadn’t hit at quite the right angle to penetrate the armor. The light on the mine began to flash faster and faster. “Almost there,” Max told his squad.

“Dang it! Jump!” Hunter shouted. A low rumbling could be heard behind him. The cavern was lit up completely. Hunter saw the true extent of the number of bridges in the compound for the first time, through his peripheral vision. They were everywhere and going in every direction. He could just imagine them filled with droids. The thought made him shiver.

The bridge seemed to disintegrate as the explosion sucked up everything in the vicinity. Hunter jumped at the same time the bridge was swallowed up in flames. He reached out and grabbed onto the edge of the covered conduit, in which his squad had already entered, the bridge no longer under his feet. His hands met with the warm dry metal, and he hung for his life. Flames licked at Hunter’s legs and began to melt his armor a bit.

Max grabbed onto his hand and tried to help him up. Hunter looked up in time to see a metal round knick Max in the side of his face, taking off some of the armor. He stumbled, but did not let go. Flash helped Max pull up Hunter while Storm shot plasma into the now dark bridge conjunction.

“Let’s get on our way,” Max said, breathing hard.

Hunter stood up, using the wall as support for his charred legs. “Let’s.”



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Last edited by RedHawke; 06-23-2006 at 12:18 AM. Reason: Fixed a wide post issue...
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Old 06-16-2006, 01:10 PM   #126
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Good Chapter Niner. I'll post in Praesitlyn Campaign, don't worry. I won't let you down.
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Old 06-16-2006, 01:32 PM   #127
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Thanks, Pottsie.



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Old 06-16-2006, 09:56 PM   #128
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cool chapter,keep it up

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Old 06-17-2006, 08:53 AM   #129
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Thanks, connor. I might make up a profile page for the enemy squad, Jupiter Squad, before next chapter just to give you an idea of who they are. They won't be formally introduced until later, if all goes according to plans.



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Old 06-17-2006, 09:28 AM   #130
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Good chapter.Nothing to do with the real mission,but it's better.
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Old 06-17-2006, 09:31 AM   #131
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Thanks, Jason. I was going to have the Power Source Facility be nothing like the game either.

Any other additional comments, suggestions, or questions are welcome.



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Old 06-18-2006, 08:34 AM   #132
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great work, Niner. sorry it took me time, but i had my maths exam yesterday. check your PMs also.
once again, great work.


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Old 06-18-2006, 03:36 PM   #133
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Thanks, RC. I got your PM. I'll check it out once I have some time. My last regents test is tomorrow.



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Old 06-18-2006, 08:18 PM   #134
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sweet chapter niner. I've been on vacation for the last week, so didn't get to write. By the way, the sith lord in my fic was trained in secret by Dooku, as you'll find out later
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Old 06-19-2006, 01:48 PM   #135
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Thanks, bballforlife. We'll work something out.



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Old 06-22-2006, 10:47 AM   #136
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Sorry for the double post, but I've got a question. Today, I started making the info sheet for the enemy squad. I've ran into some trouble with the weapons. I know the Trandoshan weapons from RC, but there aren't very many. What kinds of weapons do Trandoshans have? Rocket laucher, pistols, snipers, rifles, etc?



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Old 06-22-2006, 11:17 AM   #137
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I doubt they have this, but they may have Toxic Darts. Also a Gammorean Axe. I don't know, I'm no expert of Trandoshans.
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Old 06-22-2006, 11:22 AM   #138
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Thanks for helping. I'll probably just write rocket launcher, pistol, etc. It's not a big deal really. Unless someone else knows. I'll try doing a search in Google again, see what I come up with.



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Old 06-22-2006, 02:29 PM   #139
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Maybe a Vidroblade,they seemed to love them on KOTOR.
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Old 06-22-2006, 07:31 PM   #140
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True. They had what appeared to be a vibro blade in RC multiplayer.



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Old 06-22-2006, 09:41 PM   #141
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sry it took so long for me to read your fanfic, i kept postponing it and now i regret it. great job


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Old 06-22-2006, 11:26 PM   #142
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hey Niner_777, what do you think of my new avatar and sig? i got inspired after reading your fanfic. it took for ever to make the sig in ms paint XP


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Old 06-23-2006, 01:52 AM   #143
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hey Niner_777, what do you think of my new avatar and sig? i got inspired after reading your fanfic. it took for ever to make the sig in ms paint XP
I like the Sig and Avatar. The Darth Maul Sig creeped me out and the Darth Maul Avatar weren't good (to be honest).
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:08 AM   #144
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Uh, guys... Not trying to rain on peoples parades or anything but off-topic discussions about your avatars or sigs should be done via PM's ok?

Back on-topic...


"Beware the form-fitting black armor-clad Drow hottie with twin Mineral II Greensteel Khopeshes!"
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Old 06-25-2006, 05:10 PM   #145
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Thanks reading it jedi_exile. I just got back from my two day vacation and I'm leaving again tomorrow morning for another. I won't have time to write, sorry. Anyways, try to keep this thread alive will you?

Still ontopic, I'm thinking of making a concept art thread for my fics. Since I stink at art it will probably just be people and guns. It might be awhile until I get around to it though. And don't worry, I will continue this fic, lol.

spoiler:
Btw, >.> nice sig, jedi_exile. >.>



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Old 06-30-2006, 10:22 AM   #146
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Well, I'm back from vacation and I believe that I've got some time to write. I'll get working on the chapter as soon as I can. In the car, I was trying to put together a storyline. I kind of failed, but I got an idea of what to write for my next couple of chapters. Hopefully I'll get the next one out tomorrow,? Maybe that's wishful thinking, lol.



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Old 06-30-2006, 02:47 PM   #147
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Chapter 11: Ascending Ambush-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------//----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------//
Forward Command Post – Mygeeto Mission Clock 13:30 //
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------//

Iota Squad cautiously crept down the corridor leading towards the perimeter of the Forward Command Post. They’d need to use their new directions that were patched to them into their holo map of the command post. Due to their engagement in the bridge conjunction, they’d already lost precious time, the element that the 501st forces on Mygeeto were depending on throughout this miniature operation.

Hunter was beginning to get used to the blackness that filled the command post. Thanks to the soldier’s faulty night vision equipment, they had to learn to see without light on their own. Clones were engineered to have advanced eyesight, and they all did. It would be completely impossible for an ordinary human to navigate and survive in this complete darkness, and that’s exactly why Jango wasn’t ordinary.

Despite the careful and complicated engineering, some clones still had better eyesight. This could be caused by a number of reasons. Perhaps there had been a mutation in the DNA that was used to create the clone, or perhaps the clone had adapted. There were many stories of clones that had adapted to do their duty. An example of adapting was common in clone assassins. Hunter didn’t know exactly what went on in their training, but it was said that many had gained force speed.

Hunter’s brain began to hurt from that thought. Anyways, Flash had somehow adapted to this darkness and was now seeing quite clearly without any low-light equipment. With Flash leading the way on point, Hunter felt secure, but he would have much rather been in a situation where all of Iota Squad was functioning at one hundred percent.

As a matter of fact, Hunter was functioning far from one hundred percent. His legs still burned and ached as the scorched and melted metal and plastic that covered his legs began to harden to his body. His nerves were beginning to feel numb. At least his muscles were still moving his body.

Hunter saw Flash’s silhouette stop moving. “Hold up,” Flash said.

“What’s going on?” Max asked.

“We’ve got an intersection up ahead. Toss me the map, will you?” Flash replied. Max underhand tossed the small map in Flash’s direction. He caught it easily and activated it. Hunter almost squinted as the dim luminosity from the holo map filled the chamber around them.

“It looks like we’ve just got to take the third staircase on the right,” Storm said casually, walking up to Flash. Storm’s pistol was still pointing down the hallway.

“I agree,” Max alleged. Taking an elevator would be too risky. Those Trandoshans could easily have hidden a remote explosive on the top of the elevator. We’d be too vulnerable. We’ll just have to take the slow and cautious way.”

“Like we always do,” Storm said.

“Still, they could easily set up an ambush or minefield on the stairs,” Hunter pointed out.

“I’m sure that they will, but we’ll be able to counter that if we have some room to maneuver,” Max rebutted.

“That’s true,” Hunter said, imagining the possibilities. “Our best bet is taking that staircase.”

“I agree,” Flash concluded, shutting off the holo map. The area returned to its darkened state, leaving Hunter nearly blind, but slowly recovering.

“Weapons up,” Max ordered. “We need everybody looking out for ambushes.” They passed the first set of staircases that led deeper into the ground below the command post. Hunter peered down the scope of his rifle, the rest of Iota Squad doing the same. The second set of staircases passed as well, also leading downward. The third set of stairs lay ahead, just now becoming visible through the thick inky atmosphere of the Forward Command Post.

Just beyond the stairs that Iota Squad had planned to take were two elevators. Their doors were closed, just how they were supposed to be. However, there were two little green lights where the control panel was. Hunter expected that he’d have to slice into the system to get them working if they had decided to take the elevator. Could Kappa Squad have activated the elevator from the main command center, or did the Trandoshans think that they’d be able to fool Iota Squad.

“Do you guys see that?” Hunter asked.

“Huh?” Storm grunted.

“That light on the elevator,” Hunter motioned towards them. “Could it be a trap?”

“It could,” Max said. “Let’s just leave it alone.”

“Roger that, Lead,” Flash said, flattening himself against the wall, next to the third stairway on the right. “I’m in position.”

“I copy,” Max replied. “Get into single-side breach formation.” Flash stayed put while the rest of Iota Squad lined up behind him. “Execute on my mark.” Hunter checked his rifle’s ammo count before he looked up and signaled that he was ready. “Mark!”

Flash took two large strides across the threshold to the staircase and leveled his pistol at an angle. At the same time, the rest of Iota Squad stepped out, filling the gaps in the brink, firearms up. “No contacts,” Storm commented slowly.

“Keep your guard up, soldiers,” Max ordered. “Let’s take this staircase in standard ascent formation.”

"Roger, Lead,” Hunter said. Iota Squad lined up with their backs to the outside of the winding staircase; each person’s weapon was aimed in a different spot to cover as much area as possible. There were many places for enemies to hide at different levels, yet little cover when being attacked. They’d been drilled for these situations.

Flash took the lead, sweeping his pistol over the highest level he could see, while Storm took the rear, covering the lower levels of the staircase. They’d only have to go up three levels to get to the plane on which their two fire points were located.

“Still no contacts,” Max said confused.

“Maybe the Trandoshans thought that we’d take the elevator,” Flash commented, obviously amused at their situation.

“Or maybe they don’t even know what’s going on,” Storm said. “Stupid lizards.”

Almost on queue, there was a flash of light about five levels up. A single projectile dug its way through Max’s armor and into his bicep. He grunted with pain from the blow, but managed to bring up his rifle with his uninjured arm. Suddenly, a storm of bullets began to rain down on Iota Squad.

ACP rounds chipped away at the railings and skimmed off the clone’s armor. “Fierfek!” Storm grunted as a burst of bullets finally managed to penetrate his armor. He aimed his pistol right on one of the flashes and squeezed the trigger continuously. The flashing stopped from that area, but there were still one more source.

Hunter sidestepped over to Max, spraying small bursts of fire into the darkness when he thought that there was movement.

“You okay, Lead?” Hunter asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s just get moving up this staircase,” Max replied.

“Right,” Hunter said. Glancing at the hole in Max’s armor. Then the firing stopped, and everything went out of focus.

“Let’s move,” Max shouted, but no noise was heard outside of his helmet.

“Roger,” Flash said, turning the corner on the stairs and starting up the next flight.

Just then, there was another flash. A bullet zoomed through a railing and burrowed its way into Max’s gauntlet. He almost dropped his rifle. With this shot, more firing broke out. Storm sidestepped as a red beam of energy slashed into the wall behind them. “Droid snipers,” Hunter informed, seeing the beam blow by.

“Sorry, Lead,” Storm said, “but I just can’t stand being fired at.” With these words, Storm broke formation and began to run up the stairs firing into the source of the enemy fire.

“Catch up to him,” Max told the others, starting up the stairs himself, rifle flaring.

“Wait!” Hunter shouted, running after them. His eye caught a glimpse of a small red light. The light that was placed on a proximity mine. “Stop!”

Storm froze as ACP rounds pinged off his grade-B body armor. “There’s a proximity mine,” Flash informed him, obviously noticing the red light himself.

Hunter pushed his way towards the mine, crouched down behind the railing. “Cover for me,” he told Iota Squad.

“Sure thing,” Storm told him, happy that he had listened to his squad mate. The rest of Iota Squad took defensive positions behind a railing while firing up at the unknown enemies above.

Hunter walked in a crouched position towards the mine. “Never approach a mine unless crouched,” he said to himself. That was what their training sergeant always told them. When he came to the mine, he took out his slicing pack and got to work on disabling the mine.

An all new wave of bullets began to descend on Iota Squads position. Many of the bullets penetrated halfway into the armor before loosing velocity, and therefore their armor was peppered with bullets rather than bullet holes, a rather good thing. Despite all the commotion, Hunter forced himself to remain calm and concentrate. He was almost done.

Static came through on Hunter’s comlink, but he couldn’t afford to turn around to make sure his squad mates were still alive. “I’m almost done,” he told them. Hunter began to feel projectiles pounding his back. He had to let it; he couldn’t move for the risk of setting off the mine.

“Are you almost done?” Max’s voice broke through the static.

“Three, two,” Hunter was saying when a large bullet emitted from a rifle above him. It plowed into his shoulder and crossed wound that he had sustained earlier in their mission. “One!” The light on the mine turned off and Hunter slumped down on it, pain shooting from his shoulder to his deep within his brain. All firing stopped. The enemy must’ve retreated once they’d realized that the mine was disabled.

“Those weren’t regular mercenaries,” Storm said. His deep voice seemed to fade into the night. Hunter rolled over to see Max on top of him already tending to his wound.

“Not now,” Hunter tried to say, but was overwhelmed by pain to resist. They’d all taken a beating in that ambush, and they still had more to go.



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Old 06-30-2006, 02:53 PM   #148
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Sorry for making you guys wait so long. I finally had some time today so I got to work and kept at it until I finished all 1,703 words. I got carried away so I split up the the original chapter yet again. That makes four times. Anyways, please leave feedback/etc. for me.

Thanks.



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Old 06-30-2006, 02:56 PM   #149
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very good i like how force speed is mintiuned

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Old 06-30-2006, 02:58 PM   #150
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Thanks. I got the idea to put that in from reading jedi_exile's new fic.



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Old 06-30-2006, 03:09 PM   #151
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Good Chapter and I like the new Sig by the way.
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Old 06-30-2006, 03:14 PM   #152
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Thanks, Pottsie. I think that next I'll try to get out the enemy squad's profile.

spoiler:
The big bullets in this chapter are from a Verpine Shatter gun. I thought of that weapon while writing.


spoiler:
Thanks, Xbx_Inthusiast made it, as you probably already know.



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Old 06-30-2006, 04:07 PM   #153
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good job with the new chapter, Niner. this is getting better with every post


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Old 06-30-2006, 04:39 PM   #154
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Thanks, RC. I'm having a blast writing this and I think that it's making me a better writer. I've read through some of my older writing and I can definitely see improvement.

As a matter of fact, I'm typing up an old English assignment and posting it in the Ahto. While typing it, I've found lots of places where I could improve.

Once again, thanks all.



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Old 06-30-2006, 05:08 PM   #155
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niner_777
As a matter of fact, I'm typing up an old English assignment and posting it in the Ahto. While typing it, I've found lots of places where I clould improve.

Once again, thanks all.
Clould (Could) improve? Anyway I thought RC made the Sig, but anyway I'm looking foward to the next Chapter.
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Old 06-30-2006, 07:46 PM   #156
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Wow, I didn't even mean to write that, lol. Oh well, I'm glad that you're looking forward to the next chapter. I have something to shoot for.



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Old 07-01-2006, 04:02 AM   #157
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shoot at more like given that youre writing about commandos . anyway, keep it coming


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Old 07-01-2006, 08:11 AM   #158
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good story so far. I meant to write before but kept forgetting about it. Keep writing this up, and I can see the improvement as well.
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Old 07-01-2006, 09:52 AM   #159
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Thanks. I'm hoping that the next chapter will be exciting. Sometimes it's just hard to get what I'm thinking into the computer and into writing. I'll be working on it.



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Old 07-01-2006, 11:25 AM   #160
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Good one Niner. And i agree with Pottsie, the sig looks great!
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