lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: [FIC]Heart of Deception
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 11-09-2006, 03:39 PM   #81
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
No
*still waving manusript over Pottsie's head*

You have to wait like everyone else

*still waving manuscript over pottsie's head*

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-10-2006, 09:33 PM   #82
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Chapter 20
The streets of Coruscant could be merciless or pleasant, depending on what level you were on. There were some areas that were worth going to and others that were fit for the scum in the universe. You could either blend in or stand out but it was better to blend in. That was the goal of the woman walking briskly through the streets to the nearest cantina. Dressed like a smuggler, she gave the impression that she was not to be messed with. That was certainly the feeling when she entered the Hunter’s Bounty, a shady cantina that was known for conducting all types of business.

The air was dank and heavy with the smell of cigarra smoke and the vintages of several alcoholic beverages. The woman’s nostril’s flared slightly at the smell but she gave off a content smile and headed towards the bar. The barkeep, upon seeing her, brought out a bottle of rare spirits. She called it saruke but he knew it as Shreyite brandy and that it came from Avalon. When she laid down the credits for the brandy he gave a slight nod and motioned his eyes to a corner. Taking her cue, the woman gave a smile and sauntered towards a booth near the rear. She was greeted by a familiar sight that greeted her with a smile.


Kirabaros was a nervous wreck though he was much too prideful to show it. After being kept in the dark for the past week, he and his sister would finally appear before the Senate. It had taken Senator Amstar that long to convince the senators that they weren’t going to cut and run and to not badger them. He knew that there were some senators who disliked him because he was adamant in his last session with them and that he was a Jedi. It irked but didn’t surprise him that there were some who still didn’t trust Jedi at all. Not that he blamed him. Then there were the others who thought him to be a hero, like the senator from Ryloth. None of that mattered except for the feeling of dread that he had ever since he accompanied Senator Amstar to Coruscant.

He was staring out the glass window, watching the air traffic flying along as if nothing were out of place. Watching the organized flow reminded him of, of all things, the organization of the fleet that he planned during the war. All he saw was the grace and the dance that came when they flew in, out and about. It was magnificent to see but hanging at the back of his mind it was a dance of death. He was watching the sight when he was brought out of his reverie by a gentle touch to his shoulder and a pleasant voice asking, “Hey, you awake?”


“Today’s the day Lethe. They will be heading to the Senate.”

“What would I do without you Mission?” Michaela, or rather ‘Lethe,’ asked with a smile.

Mission just beamed at Michaela. For the past week Michaela met with Mission regularly to get an update on what was happening. She knew that Mission had a way of finding out things and visited the senator when the chance presented itself. It was a lot of work but it was better than not knowing what was going on. Mission knew this and did it willingly. She gazed at the woman that she hardly recognized as the cultured woman she had met four years ago and said, “Yeah it took a lot of the usual greasing the wheels but he’ll be able to better keep an eye on things. He asks about you and I tell him that business is good.”

Michaela smiled at the blue Twi’lek across from her. She took a polite sip of the brandy that she had picked up and replied, “Tell me, does the droid know what to do?”


It was a lonely ride to the Senate arena, and it didn’t help that Rowan insisted that Kirabaros maintain a meditative state to keep a sharp eye out for trouble. Revan felt lonely since Kirabaros ended up shutting her out and Senator Amstar was too deep in her own thoughts to be much of a conversational companion. Instead Revan turned to her own thoughts.

She had found Kirabaros staring out the window wearing that look he always wore when mesmerized by battle. She had first noticed it when he dueled with Jolee long ago. It was then that she realized that he was different and that he would never be the same. She was thinking this when she asked him if he was awake. He just turned and smiled at her and said, “Well, today’s the day.”

“Yes it is,” she replied.

“Ready?” His eyes were searching her person as if trying to determine if something were wrong.

Looking him up in the eye, she smiled and said, “Talk nice with the senators. Piece of cake.” She then turned to say good-bye to her daughter and husband but not before she noticed the etched lines of worry near the corners of his eyes.


Revan had mixed apprehensions about leaving Lilah at the apartment alone since Carth had to report to the High Admiral’s office and then he was going to watch the proceedings. She didn’t have to worry for HK-47 was left with Lilah and Caelos would be coming from the Temple to keep an eye out along with Dustil who declined to attend the proceedings. Recalling that Kirabaros had ‘fixed’ a few things as well as she, she relaxed and concentrated on her surroundings. It was then she felt a warm feeling, a feeling of reassurance.


“I suppose all the arrangements are made for the cargo?” Michaela asked Mission. It had become necessary to refer to Kirabaros and Revan as if they were cargo or a smuggling job. It was less risky since all sorts of business like that were conducted there anyway.

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. You do your job and I’ll do mine,” Mission replied.


Kirabaros had to shut Revan out if only to center himself when Rowan urged him to but he realized that she was apprehensive and sent a warm feeling of assurance. During his meditation, he received a spine prickle at the back of his neck. It was the same feeling that he felt the split second before being hit with the blaster bolt to the abdomen. He had a feeling that it was getting closer. He immediately cut his thoughts off and started thinking of some nonsense or other for Revan was looking at him with an inquisitive look. She said softly, “I know that that face.”

Kirabaros looked at her and attempted brevity, “What face?”

Not fooled by it, Revan responded, “That face that says something is bothering you. Specifically the one that you get when you have a feeling something is going to happen.”

“There is no face. Just my face,’ Kirabaros replied with a serious face that given other circumstances would have brought laughter.

“You know what I mean. You try to hide it but it shows.” Revan gave a kind look but it held a deadly serious look, the one that she used when she commanded the armies. It was a compelling gaze and would take a strong will to not be intimidated by it.

“Just being my usual paranoid self,” Kirabaros replied, mimicking unconsciously Carth when he teased Revan. He briefly wondered why Revan chuckled at him and took it to mean that she realized that he was joking. He smiled at her and turned to watch as the transport landed at the port. He was unaware that he was in a hunter’s sights, the hunter waiting for the shot. This time it was to wound.


Michaela and Mission left the cantina, stopping to give some friendly advice and exchange some news. Mission was telling Michaela that Kirabaros missed her and Tulre and hoped that everything would go well in the Senate. Neither of noticed how a group wound their way around them until Michaela turned around and saw the same men that had attacked them before they left home. Mission was hidden behind her so they didn’t see her push a button on a comm to signal Atton. The leader of the group said, “Well the Force be praised. It took a while to find you.”

“What do you want?” Michaela replied firmly withdrawing a katana that she had with her. Mission had drawn her vibroblade and was poised to attack.

“Now don’t be hasty. Perhaps we can settle this in a mature fashion. You hand over what we want and you can go on your merry way,” the leader responded with a smile.

“We know what you want core slime and you ain’t gettiin’ it!” Mission blurted out.

“Oh, I always get what I am after. You are merely extra baggage,” the leader had a sadistic grin on his face. He made a motion and his men began to move in. “You see, we already know where they are, all three of them.”

Undisturbed by the comment, Michaela drew up her blade. She had known that they couldn’t hide forever here in the Core Worlds. Mission knew that too and had brought back every piece of information that she could get. As the group closed in, they twirled blades ready to fight.


The entourage had been met up with the Fleet brass for pleasantries and Kirabaros hid his boredom at pomp and circumstance. He greeted Carth with the proper respect and recognized Keegan from when he was first there. Something was off about him but Kirabaros couldn’t figure out what yet. They all turned to go into the Senate building when Kirabaros felt it. With a quick dive, he pushed Revan and everyone in front of him down, out of the way before the transport exploded. Rolling on the ground, Kirabaros unsheathed his lightsaber and scanned the horizon.

Jaqrand watched as the Jedi made his move. He was amused and surprised that he could move that fast. He fired a few more rounds to watch as Kirabaros deflected most of them. The others hit the building hard and sent debris and sparks. He watched as Kirabaros directed everyone inside while facing out. Now it was time to get serious.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-11-2006, 05:53 AM   #83
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Another good Chapter JM12. I didn't notice this, but when did Kirabaros have a sister? Anyway, looking foward to more.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-11-2006, 03:05 PM   #84
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Very nice, JM12. Good to see that this fic is still active when it comes to new chapters. Keep it up.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-13-2006, 02:30 PM   #85
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Thanks igyman. Pottsie, Kirabaros has only one sister: Revan. They aren't blood related but are bonded ie Force Bond.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-13-2006, 04:58 PM   #86
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Here is the next chapter. For some reason I think my creative genius is getting out of hand. Just to let you know, I will do a time leap in a later chapter. I haven't decided yet why but it has to do with eventual escapes and tensions and near war breaking out, blah, blah. The good guys will win of course, just not the way you think. Hint hint for you Pottsie since you are dying with anticipation and me waving my manuscript over your head.

Chapter 21
Caelos was pacing throughout Senator Amstar’s apartment feeling ill at ease. He would stop often to watch Dustil play with his sister in a game or some other and the sight would make him feel a little better. He had told Kirabaros to be on his guard because of a bad feeling and that there had been suspicious activity at some of the cantinas. The Jedi Council didn’t seem concerned but that was only because they hid their feelings well like Kirabaros. Jolee was the only one though who made the attempt to reassure him. Right now his thoughts were consumed with his friend Mission who was out meeting with Michaela, a job that he didn’t like her doing but he consoled himself with the knowledge that Mission knew what she was doing. He was brought out of his musings when a little hand tugged on his robes. Looking down, he saw Lilah holding onto his robes and asking, “When Momma come home?”

He was saved from answering when Dustil came over and picked her up and answered for him, “She’ll be back. She has to go talk to all the Senators.” There was no mistaking the look of affection in Dustil’s eyes for his younger sister. It was obvious that Lilah had that way of twisting even the crustiest of men around her little finger.

Caelos added, “Your Papa will bring her back and then we can all go home. How about you go play with the holodisc that Kirabaros gave you?”

Agreeing happily, Lilah wriggled out of Dustil’s grasp and tottered to go play minding her mother’s instruction to stay near HK. HK for his part was in a powered down mode but the new sensors that Kirabaros installed would alert him to any threat and he would respond instantly. Watching her play Caelos whispered to Dustil, “ I have a bad feeling about this.”

“About what?”

Caelos’ answer was cut off when the security alarms went off. Caelos had his lightsaber in hand and crossed towards the security cameras.


Morgan and Tulre were playing a friendly game of pazaak, Republic Senate Rules. T3 was beeping happily and giving out pointers much to Atton’s annoyance. He tried to discourage it since he didn’t want Morgan to start hustling people like he used to. It took Tulre, a four year old, to convince him that they were playing for fun and that it was a good counting game. All that week they played pazaak and alternated it with dejarik, a game that Morgan was really good at for a three year old. The two of them had become fast friends when Morgan was old enough to be played with and even more so now that they got to see each other every day.

The two were playing their game when Atton received a beep from his comm. He recognized it as the alert signal and made swift movements throughout the room. In gentle tones, he told Morgan and Tulre to stop playing and head towards the back room. T3 warbled out a response that was greeted with, “Yeah I know what to do but do you, little trash compactor?”

Tulre and Morgan burst into a fit of giggles at what T3 said. Tulre said, “Nice one T3. I’m sure Uncle Atton would like that one.” He then took Morgan by the hand and they went to the back room with T3 following them. Even though T3 wasn’t a combat type, he had a pretty good defense system for an astromech thanks to Kirabaros. It had become a necessity since Avalon was more of a country bred farm planet and there were all sorts of wildlife that were not tamed that lived there.

Atton allowed himself a slight grin at the boys but then got serious as he said, “Stay there and keep quiet ok?”

“ ‘Kay Papa,” Morgan piped up as Tulre led him to the back room. It was just like the practice that they had been doing the past week. He then turned to Tulre and whispered, “The bad men are coming.”

Tulre whispered back, “ I know. I think they know where we can hide.” They were interrupted by a loud bang and the hum of a lightsaber filled the air. Tulre, feeling more scared than brave pulled Morgan with him and headed towards a door that he had found two days ago.

They were almost there when the door opened revealing a person that they hadn’t seen before who said, “Come with me.”


The windows exploded in a shower of glass at the high rise apartment sending Dustil to grab Lilah who took refuge behind HK’s durasteel body. The psychotic droid cocked his rifle and said, “Ready!”

In an instant, the invaders came through the windows firing their rifles. Caelos had his lightsaber activated and deflected the blaster shots and he pushed everyone towards the outer rooms, sealing the doors. Once inside he said, “That will hold them but not for long. Of course they will come through the front door. Yes this is going to be easy.”

“Observation: It would appear that we are outnumbered. Query: Shall I engage in necessary bloodshed?” HK had his rifle cocked.

Dustil muttered something about a crazy droid while Caelos spoke clearly, “No HK. Initiate protocol 2-2-beta-charlie.”

“Weary Resignation: Of course Jedi Meatbag. I shall indulge in the Handsome Meatbag’s whim. Statement: The Handsome Meatbag mocks my superior assassination technology. I was looking forward to some unadulterated violence,” HK replied. With a deft movement, he pushed Lilah through a door that was well hidden while saying, “Statement: My programming is mocked by having to baby-sit you little meatbag.”

Dustil watched them go with a worried expression. He asked, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Don’t ask me. Kirabaros is the one that programmed him.” The thump on the door distracted them. Caelos unclipped a spare lightsaber and tossed it to Dustil, “Here. Revan told me you were good with one even though you’re not a Jedi.”

Dustil looked at the lightsaber in his hand. He seemed frozen in time as if trying to determine if the thing would bite him. In a strangled voice, he replied, “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” Caelos asked looking puzzled.

“I can’t use this. I …I …” Dustil was struggling what to say.

“Afraid?”

Dustil nodded.

Caelos sighed, “Now is not the time.” Looking at Dustil in the eye he continued, “I know that you haven’t touched the Force ever since that Sith academy business. I would feel the same but it’s what you do right now that will make a difference. A Bushida warrior doesn’t run away. He faces each day as if it were his last and he fights with honor.” He put his hand on Dustil’s shoulder in an attempt at reassurance. “Do it for her?”

Dustil slowly nodded and activated the lightsaber just as the doors slid open. Together he and Caelos charged head on.


Tulre looked up at the person who was looking at him and Morgan. He knew that this person wouldn’t hurt him. He wasn’t like the bad men fighting Uncle Atton. Still he wasn’t stupid and didn’t move immediately. He was reassured when a familiar sight stepped into view and said, “Come on sonny. Don’t keep an old man waiting.”

Tulre broke into a grin and would have ran towards Jolee but he was held back by Morgan. Morgan didn’t remember Jolee and he was afraid. Tulre looked at Morgan as if to speak but he didn’t. He just looked at him with a kind look with his green eyes. Morgan gave a slight nod and followed Tulre towards Jolee. T3 beeped and followed them out.

Once outside, they were stopped by more of the attackers who drew blades. It was obvious that they were more likely mercs. Some drew their blasters and began to fire. Jolee drew out his green saber and began to deflect the blast bolts. Tulre and Morgan pressed against the building scared at what was going on. T3 aided the situation by using a droid flamethrower to slow them down. Looking on, the boys had their eyes wide open with one saying , “Please come,” and the other, “Help us.”

It must have worked for Atton burst through the back shutting the door. He didn’t have time to survey the scene as he immediately began to help Jolee and the Jedi that had accompanied him. In the middle of the chaos, the bad men burst through the door, scaring the boys into running. They took off scared through the streets of the sector they were in. Atton noticed them run and was going to go after them when he was hit from behind. All he heard before blacking out, “Forget them get the kids.”


For a droid, HK proved to be a good driver of speeders. It was a good thing since Lilah was firing of questions in between demanding for her mother and father. She even cried for Dustil until HK made a comment, “Statement: Master put me in charge little meatbag but I am under orders to protect you. If had the command I would gladly rip out your vocal chords right now.”

Lilah choked a sob and replied, “Bad droid. No feelings.”

Nothing more was said until they reached the area where the safe house was for the boys. HK didn’t make it however for his photoreceptors spotted the boys running. He directed the speeder towards the boys just before their pursuers came around the corner. The boys were frightened badly but HK whipped out his prized rifle and began firing. Once the boys were in the speeder, HK took off. It wasn’t until they were a distance away that Morgan demanded, “What about my Papa?!”

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-13-2006, 05:54 PM   #87
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Very nice. HK's lines are really good, there's only one that I didn't quite like because, in my opinion, there were too many 'meatbags' in it. Otherwise, really good. Keep it up.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-13-2006, 05:59 PM   #88
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Another good Chapter JM12. Looking foward to more. And that damn manuscript!
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-13-2006, 08:37 PM   #89
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Sheesh igyman. Picky picky over a stupid walking tin can! Yeah I know I love him too. That's why he's not on the scrap heap yet. See I kept up my promise and made him babysitter

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-14-2006, 07:43 AM   #90
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
He's not stupid, he's just... different.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-14-2006, 06:45 PM   #91
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
I know. HK's just misunderstood. Don't cry igyman. I was thinking of having him come save the day. Saving whom, I know but won't tell. I do this to kill Pottsie more. Hehehehe.
*clears throat*
Anyway I can say that it is not Revan he will be saving and I think it outrageously funny if he rescues Atton...so you can see where my sanity ends.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-15-2006, 02:15 AM   #92
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JediMaster12
I know. HK's just misunderstood. Don't cry igyman. I was thinking of having him come save the day. Saving whom, I know but won't tell. I do this to kill Pottsie more. Hehehehe.
Somebody out there doesn't like me . , Anyway I'm still awaiting the next Chapter and the end of your sanity JM12.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-15-2006, 02:12 PM   #93
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Oh I like you Pottsie. I just enjoy dropping hints and watching you squirm egging to know more. You wish me to be insane? Well Directrice Jae saw to that. Now I am trapped within a little white room and banging my head on the wall. It's all in me head

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-20-2006, 04:43 PM   #94
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Another chapter finally. The next few chapters might not make sense but it does involve a passing of time and I was thinking how I am going to keep the kids in it. They might run away, I don't know yet but it's coming along.

Chapter 22

Atton opened his eyes to a bright light and a face with kind brown eyes staring down at him. At first he thought it was Mira but the picture came into focus to reveal Michaela. She smiled, “There you are. You had a nasty bump on the head.”

Atton sat up wincing and found that he had been dragged back into the safe house. Jolee was busy with his Jedi friend and Mission was working on T3 who had suffered some blaster damage. He looked around and asked, “The boys? Morgan?” He failed to notice that Dustil and Caelos had arrived looking worse for the wear with Caelos looking concerned and Dustil looking content.

“Gone,” Michaela replied softly. She restrained him to explain better, “Not them.”

“We found a few bodies of the guys that jumped you,” Mission added.

“Any idea where?” Atton asked. He was worried but something told him that everything was all right. He wasn’t sure if it was the headache talking or what. “My head feels like that trash compactor rolled on it.”

T3 beeped indignantly making Michaela smile. She replied, “No but judging from the damage done to the bodies I have a pretty good idea where they are at.”


Kirabaros felt numb but he was secure. He managed to get through the emergency session after the attack which left him confused. After all there was an attack outside the Senate chambers and that was a big thing in of itself. The senators were very persistent, at least those from the Outer Rim. His biggest problem was the fact that Revan was to be moved to a high security building. Carth masked his irritation well but it didn’t fool Kirabaros who relied on his empath abilities to really sense what was brewing. He didn’t mention it until afterwards with his, “You’re getting better at hiding your irritation.”

“I don’t understand how the Republic could think that Revan is a criminal. I mean she’s a hero,” Carth replied looking helpless.

Kirabaros gazed at Carth and felt pity for him. He didn’t like this at all either but Avalon had to show that they could be another contributing and law abiding system. He replied, “Well at least I’ll be there for her.”

“That’s a relief.” The statement was simple but held a lot of meaning between the two. Carth then let out a sigh and said, “Admiral Dodonna requested my presence at HQ. For what I don’t know but somehow I get the feeling that this isn’t over.”

“No it isn’t,” Kirabaros replied looking out at the landscape. He seemed to be thinking to Carth that he didn’t want to interrupt him. He waited until Kirabaros said, “Well I got to go if I’m going to boss the security around.”

Carth saw him to the transport and said, “Take care.”

Kirabaros smiled and said, “Don’t worry. They’ll be all right.” He watched as Carth smiled a smile of relief and turned to go towards his transport. He didn’t go far before Kirabaros called softly, “Watch out for Keegan. He’s not all that he appears to be.”

Carth looked at him in the eye and nodded.


Draconis had been watching the holonet and saw the footage that had been captured of the attack. That bounty hunter is good, he thought as he saw the shot that started the explosions. He watched as Kirabaros rolled and deflected the shots that followed. He’s toying with Kirabaros.

He watched Keegan fall back. Keegan was good at pretending to be afraid and the like but Draconis had the sneaking suspicion that Kirabaros would figure it out. He didn’t know of Kirabaros’ special ability but he figured that since he was a Jedi he would be able to sense something. Draconis just watched with an amused look on his face. The results of the Senate amused him even more. For the moment nothing seemed to put a damper on his amusement. At least not until the bell rang.


Jaqrand hated toying with this Jedi but Coruscant was no place to kill a Jedi. There were too many there anyway. He was impressed however at how quickly Kirabaros reacted. He learned his lesson from the last time, he thought and it pleased him. Jaqrand enjoyed a challenge but what he really wanted was the traitor. Still he had a job to do and the sooner he took care of it, the sooner he could catch the traitor.

After firing off the rounds and the explosion, he holstered his weapon and retreated to where he left his speeder. He packed his weapon with care in the special holder and jumped into the pilot’s seat. He received a message telling him to give up the hunt for the Jedi. A sad thing indeed but after the meatheads his client hired to grab the kids, it probably would be the best.

He took off in his speeder and disappeared into the crowd of air speeders with a look of firm satisfaction on his face. Things were going good. It made being a bounty hunter all the worthwhile.


If there were headache pills for droids, HK could have used it right now. After Morgan’s outburst demanding for his papa, Lilah started bawling for her mother and Tulre was trying to get a hold of the pilot controls to try and go back. HK finally barked out, “Irritated Statement: Hutt spawn of the Handsome Meatbag I order you to stop of this shall result in permanent silence.”

“Fine you walking tin can,” Tulre burst out in a fit of temper. He turned his attention to Lilah and Morgan trying to calm him down. When their sobs subsided, he directed his attention to the droid and demanded, “Listen up HK. Tell us where we are going and no lies or I’ll be forced to take a hydrospanner to you.”

“Commentary: One would hope that you would become as harsh a taskmaster as the Handsome Meatbag.”

“HK.”

“Statement: Protocol dictates that I tell you that I am taking you to a secure location. It does not however require that I tell you anything of the meatbags responsible for you.”

Tulre paused trying to think about what HK just said. He knew that his Dada made some modifications to HK with Aunt Reva’s permission of course. Lilah and Morgan were looking at him questioningly and he had no idea what to say to them. Instead he decided to try a carefully worded question, “Where is this secure location?”

“Statement: You stay with me though why, I cannot understand. You meatbags produce too many complications.”

Seeing that no adequate answer was to be given, Tulre glanced at Lilah and Morgan with a look on his face that held a statement. They nodded and settled down. They had a vague idea that HK would protect them but as to where they were to go, that was something they would eventually found out. The three of them huddled on the backseat and fell asleep, exhausted from the rush of adrenaline and all the running.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-20-2006, 04:48 PM   #95
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Another good Chapter as always, JM12. I'm looking foward to more.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-21-2006, 02:02 PM   #96
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Yeah sure Pottsie and for that I'll give a new chapter and wait two weeks before posting the next

Chapter 23
The accommodations brought back memories, bad memories. The bunk was comfortable, if you liked the feel of hard metal on your back through the thin mattress. The room itself was plain containing the bunk, a refresher and a writing desk. No attempt had been made to make it comfortable and its purpose was made clear. The only difference was that the force shield didn’t have to be on. Still it was afar cry from the pleasant home at the villa near Jasilyn.

Revan sat outside the cell looking out the window of the main detention area, thinking about what had happened and most important: where her daughter was now. She had listened to the Senate proceedings with little attention but enough to realize that they weren’t going to let her go that easily. She knew she had to answer for all the crimes that she committed so long ago but there was a part of her that wished that she could be back home. Just being there brought back memories, the feeling of imprisonment. The bright side was that there were no torture cells. Revan paled when the thought crossed her mind for she could still hear the screams, Carth’s screams begging for mercy.

Kirabaros found her looking like this and reached out with his senses. He guessed at what may have been bothering her and chose the words, “Imprisonment is no fun but at least you don’t have to stand in one place for long.”

Revan looked at him with a smile and said, “Always looking for a bright spot don’t you?”

Kirabaros sat beside her, “Well Pretty Girl with all the trouble you cause, I need to find it.”

The little chuckle was endearing to him as she smiled and turned away from the window. She asked, “Everyone else?”

“What would you say if I told you everyone thinks differently?” Kirabaros looked at her with a questioning look.

“I would have to say that you know something but I won’t pry,” Revan returned his gaze with confidence. “So any idea when I can leave this gray box?” she changed the subject.

Kirabaros hid his amusement and laughter behind a smile and replied, “You know as well as I that I can bully security to let you go anywhere provided I go with you and you don’t leave Coruscant.”

“Much like your time on Telos?” she teased.

Kirabaros flushed a color, “You had to bring that up didn’t you?”

“Come on let’s go for a walk. I need to stretch and you can tell me all about how you met everyone,” Revan egged, pulling on his arm.

Kirabaros marveled at how well Revan took to the situation. He had asked her to let him handle everything in his own way. Heck she even approved of the protocol he developed for HK though he gave credit to the assassination protocols to his son. He found out after he had been hit by the sniper rifle and had been impressed with his ability. What really impressed him was Tulre’s affinity to the Force. Combined with Lilah and Morgan, he had watched the three of them play and at times often speak with only an occasional word between them and had seen the Force swirl around them. He could only wonder how the three of them would get along with the droid in the place that he arranged. He said nothing as he held out his arm and guided Revan out.


Carth stood in High Admiral Dodonna’s office feeling confused and annoyed at the whole situation. He wasn’t alone though. Admiral Keegan was there as well and he remembered what Kirabaros said. It was hard for him because he had known Keegan for a while and while they weren’t friends per se, they were members of the Republic fleet and they were colleagues. He thought back to when he voiced his doubts to Revan about the Republic. He knew that Kirabaros wouldn’t lie to him either. He just kept cool as he stood at an at ease position and listened to Dodonna breaking his silence only to voice, “Admiral Dodonna, I don’t understand why it is necessary to place extra security. Kirabaros is perfectly capable…”

“If I may, it looks as if this Kirabaros doesn’t have the necessary skills that a Republic soldier has,” Keegan interrupted with a certain smugness.

“Carth he is right. Jedi or no this Kirabaros seems to attract trouble wherever he goes,” Dodonna replied.

“If I recall Admiral, civilian recruits have been used as part of the fleet. We went as far to use smugglers and scouts,” Carth countered.

“If you are referring to a certain scout that was recruited at the Jedi’s request, I’d say that you were lied to,” Keegan responded. “Weren’t you the one distrusted Jedi and yet here you are vouching for one.”

“Things change Keegan.” Carth felt as if he was in front of a board of inquiry but he had to stay strong.

“Right. You even married one. One that I remind you was a former Sith Lord,” Keegan rubbed it in Carth’s face.

“She’s not that person anymore,” Carth replied through gritted teeth.

“Yes. Very convenient that she should have amnesia,” Keegan replied with an obvious hatred. “She deserves to be imprisoned.”

“Enough you two,” Dodonna replied but a little too late.

“You have no idea what it’s like for her, waking up from nightmares that are really memories,” Carth looked scarlet but he kept his voice steady. “You have no idea Keegan.”

“Enough,” Dodonna replied more firmly. Carth and Keegan eyed each other warily with their tempers flaring. “The issue here is the incident that happened. It is obvious that there are those that feel that Revan is still a threat and want to take it out on her. The fact that they have been targeting the Avalonian senator also is disturbing. It is necessary that there be extra security.” Seeing Carth was about ready to protest, Dodonna held up her hand, “I will personally select the officers responsible for security. Should something happen here on Coruscant, we can proceed from there. Dismissed.”

Saluting, both men took their leave only to have Carth be halted by Dodonna’s ‘Carth a moment.’ Keegan left however and started down the hall. He was satisfied knowing that he got under Onasi’s skin about Revan. Even though he couldn’t hit Revan directly, at least he could hit her husband. As much as he admired Onasi for his heroism, he couldn’t help but feel betrayed that Onasi would marry the schutta and to top it off, have a kid. It didn’t matter; the three that Draconis hired should have the kids by now. Things were looking good right now as he headed towards the count’s apartment.

“Carth, I know how you feel about the whole thing,” Dodonna was speaking after Keegan had left. “Believe me when I say this, I know that Revan is not the same as she was ten years ago. That’s why I feel it is necessary.”

“I know that Admiral. I agree but I can’t shake the feeling that someone from the Republic is behind this,” Carth replied looking tired.

“Is that your feeling or rather your friend’s?”

“Both.”


Atton was pacing like a demented rooster at the new accommodations with everyone else. Caelos was with Dustil and encouraging more use of the Force. Jolee and that Jedi went back to the temple to explain the situation and Rowan and Michaela were conversing in Avalonian or one of those dialects with T3 in the corner powered down. Atton was worried for Morgan. He trusted Kirabaros but the psycho droid was another story. It was no secret that he didn’t like droids, the exception being T3 though he wasn’t going to admit it.

Atton stopped pacing and stood staring out the window. Kirabaros was supposed update them or something. He felt lost. Morgan was all he had left in the galaxy after Mira died. He remembered when she told him in her last transmission to take care of Morgan and to tell him that mommy loves him. That last bit he felt lousy at because he was not one to say sentiments. He was internally beating himself with regret and worry so much that he didn’t see Michaela approach him until her voice was in his ear whispering, “It’ll be all right.”

“Can’t help it. My kid is…”

“I know. But he’s with my son and HK is the best choice.” Michaela tried to use the voice she used to soothe Tulre when he was hurt.

“It’s not that. The problem is not knowing where they are,” Atton replied with a burst of temper.

“I don’t know where they are either but you do trust Kirabaros don’t you?” Michaela returned with a little fire.

“A good Bushida warrior knows to trust his brother in arms. To even have a hint of losing faith is dishonor,” Rowan joined in.

Atton wanted badly to roll his eyes at Rowan and his Avalonian teachings but he respected Kirabaros too much. He knew that Kirabaros was doing what he thought was right. He told him that he trusted him. The least he could do was have faith. He nodded at Rowan to tell him he acknowledged him but he said differently, “I do trust him but I have to know,” and made his way towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Michaela asked.

“I don’t but I am going to find my son,” Atton turned back towards the door.

“Don’t leave yet,” came Michaela’s voice unusually firm. She stood tall and imposing, dressed like her Handmaiden sisters. Her eyes had a hard glint in them; much like that she had during the war. She waited until Atton turned to face her and said, “You can’t venture into the Outer Rim without help. I don’t know about you but I am coming with you.”

“As is I,” Rowan replied, “A fellow warrior needs backup even on the simplest of missions.”

Caelos and Dustil stood up. It was Caelos who said, “We’ll help too. We can keep an eye on things here. Whoever has been after Kirabaros and Revan more likely were after the kids. That’s why he sent them off. The mastermind is more than likely trying to spark distrust between our people and the Republic and Revan is the best choice.”

“Well said Caelos,” Michaela replied. “I hope you inform the Council at least as to any threats and anything you think necessary?”

“Of course honored wife of Kirabaros,” Caelos replied giving full respect to Michaela. “Good luck. By the way Atton, the Ebon Hawk is in the sector near where the old safe house was.”

“Thanks kid,” Atton replied giving the first smile he had in a long time.

Michaela looked at the people in the room. Of course T3 will stay. The little astromech was very fond of Kirabaros and Revan. Besides he would be of more help there anyway. She knew that Kirabaros must know that they couldn’t just sit there and wait yet she couldn’t help but wonder if he was completely out of it. She was driven by the fatherly emotions Atton was projecting and she wanted her son back. Kirabaros had asked her if she was willing to do what it takes and this was one of those moments. She smiled and said, “Let’s go.”

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-21-2006, 02:19 PM   #97
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Another good Chapter as always and I'm looking foward to more. Oh I also didn't mention this, but nice new Avatar and Sig. The John Cena (Don't like him that much) Avatar was getting on my nerves.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-21-2006, 02:43 PM   #98
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Two very good chapters, JM12, both story-wise and grammar-wise. There were a couple of missing commas, nothing too serious and conspicuous, except this one thing at the end of Chapter 23 - unless it is intended as a speech flaw, it should be ''As am I'', not ''As is I.''
See you in two weeks (unless you were only joking with Pottsie)

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-21-2006, 06:25 PM   #99
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Pottsie: You don't like Cena?
Anyway thanks for the compliment on my siggie. I designed it a while back and I have another that I have to resize and the like.

igyman: That was an intentional speech flaw. Everything written here is intentional unless it is a silly spelling mistake. As to the two weeks, I was trying to torture Pottsie and get him to post more but he did admit he is lazy about it. The waving the manuscript won't work anymore unless...

A character is going to die and it is going to not be an accident and it is a character from one of the games! Who it is I won't tell and I will leave you squirming like a worm. Oh and there might be some form of dismemberment.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-21-2006, 06:58 PM   #100
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Eh, I have pity on Pottsie though he is offline now so I will post the next chapter. this one has some shockers and some references to The Return of Kirabaros who's last words are in my siggie. Some of these ideas I got from other fics and the scene playing out is based upon Memoirs of a Geisha since I did mention that the kiddies would meet Mamesa again. Well here ya go and don't bother me anymore until I post a new chapter.

Chapter 24
The ship had landed in the middle of the night and the port was quiet save for the occasional rustle of the trees around. Standing on the ground floor two figures were standing waiting for the ship’s ramp to drop. The taller of the two signaled the pilot and the ramp dropped and the door opened. At the top of the ramp stood a figure that they both hoped to not meet again for a long time. It was confirmed when the figure spoke, “Observation: The Mandalorian Meatbag does not appear to be pleased. Perhaps a Bothan stunner will set it to rights?”

“HK-47, it’s been some time but not long enough,” Canderous replied with annoyance.

“Statement: While that is true I myself have missed the months of carnage we shared and hoped that we might engage such sport again.”

The person who was with Canderous let out a giggle at that and said, “I doubt that.” She hid her smile behind her hand.

“Pleasantries aside, did we come here for nothing or do you actually have something for use. I have no time or patience,” Canderous said gruffly.

“Uncle Candy?” a small voice piped up. It was followed by three shadows coming into sight followed by the pilot who pushed them down.

It was the woman who went to them. She kneeled in front of them and told them everything would be everything all right. Morgan, peevish demanded, “Where is my papa?”

Sarna looked at the little boy with a look of tenderness. She whispered, “Your papa is on Coruscant. He sent you here so you can be safe because he loves you.” She wiped way his tears with a gentle hand while Canderous picked up Lilah and gently pushed Tulre down the ramp. She continued, “We are going to take you to some friends who will watch out for you in a place where you can hide. OK?” She held out her hand.

Stifling his sobs, Morgan reached for Sarna’s hand. He allowed her to pick him up and carry him to the speeder that was waiting for them. He stuck his tongue out at HK for telling him that his papa was a fool or something. He clung to Sarna who soothed him. He had no idea where he was but he sensed that she and the one that Lilah called ‘Uncle Candy’ were good people.

The three kids settled down along with the droid, they took off deep into the forests of Amshrey. They were quiet, struggling between wakefulness and sleep until Sarna turned to them and said that it was all right to sleep. Encouraged, they drifted to sleep with HK scanning the landscape with his sensors. Sarna leaned against Canderous who was driving. Resting her head on his shoulder, she said, “I wonder what Kirabaros was thinking when he thought of this.”

“He was thinking like the tactician he is as only a good warrior can. The boy should have been born a Mandalorian,” Canderous replied, the pride obvious in his voice. “Defiant yes but fearless.”

“But to send them here to Amshrey to the hamachi? It’s as if he doesn’t want them to be found. Makes you wonder if something is up.”

“Kid knows what he’s doing. You gotta give ‘em credit.” He said nothing more until they reached their destination.

The hamachi was a peaceful looking village, not unlike the tribal villages but it was characterized by a constant soothing sound of music and singing. This particular hamachi housed some of the greatest of geisha, maiko and, of course, the rare geima. Before the hamachis became permanent villages, they traveled frequently to find ideal settlements and it was evident by the number of draigons, stallions and transports that this one was quite large. Canderous stopped at the outside of the largest of huts and jumped out. Together, he and Sarna roused the children and walked them to the door when it opened to reveal a painted lady stepping out towards a transport followed by an elderly woman who stopped to look at them. She asked, “These are them?”

“Yeah,” Canderous replied. “I expect them to be treated well.”

“Of course Mandalore. The Heart of the Guardian is the most honored,” she replied and motioned them in.

The children were hesitant until Sarna told them that they would be taken good care of there and that she and Canderous would visit as often as they can. Only then did Tulre took the step forward with Lilah’s hand clenched in one hand and Morgan’s in his other. The elderly woman ushered them in leaving Canderous and Sarna standing outside. They headed back to the speeder with HK in tow.

On the trip home, Sarna spoke, “I hate leaving them there alone. They are only children.”

“They need to grow up,” Canderous replied, “No use babying them too much.”

The resounding smack to his arm made him jump and nearly swear at her. She retorted, “Heartless Mandalorian.”

“And you love it.” He grinned at her, “Don’t worry about it. The kid’s got it planned out. When he needs to, he’ll tell us.”

“ I do worry. What if it were one of ours?” Sarna asked.

“What do you mean? We don’t have any,” Canderous replied.

“We will soon.”


Tulre was nervous but he had to be the brave one. His Dada told him once that there would be a time that others would have to look up to him and he had a choice to make. He could either turn tale and run or bury his fear and lead. It came to mind as the elderly woman led him and Lilah and Morgan through the hut to a main room. The lady was saying, “You three no speak. I’ll answer for you.” She then kneeled outside a sliding paper door and called, “Mamesa.”

The noise from the other side beckoned them in. The elderly woman opened it and pushed the children in, ordering them to kneel and not look at her in the face. Mamesa responded with, “It’s all right.” She got up from her seat and padded towards the children. She looked at them and marveled at the likeness that they had to their parents. Her eyes lingered on Tulre and noticed his eyes. She gently grabbed his chin and asked him to look at her. Her face didn’t give anything away when she said, “So much earth.” Then looking at Lilah’s eyes, “Too much fire,” and Morgan got, “So much wood.” She then backed away and looked at all three, “You will stay here.” Then to the elderly woman, “Take them to their rooms.”

Minutes later the boys were put into one room and Lilah was placed into another room with another little girl named Kimiko. Morgan didn’t stay on his bed but instead sat next to Tulre and asked, “Everything goin’ to be OK now?”

Tulre thought for a moment, “Yeah. That lady is nice.”

“Will Papa know I am here?”

“I think so and he’d want you to stay here. Get some sleep.”

Morgan padded to his bed and snuggled under the blankets. It wasn’t until he was asleep that Tulre got up and proceeded to find Lilah. He found her in the next room with another little girl and asleep. Satisfied that she was fine, he crept for his room and went to bed. Now that they were on their own, he had to watch out for his friends. He fell asleep sure that Mamesa would look after them.

Meanwhile Mamesa was in deep conversation with an old friend. “They have arrived safely. Your friend brought them a few minutes ago.”

The image nodded and with a smile gave thanks. If the transmission were in color, she would have sworn to see the old flicker of green in them much like when she first met him on Mikkado. He said, “Mamesa, you are like a lantern in the dark.”

“You are most kind,” and Mamesa bowed. “I shall endeavor to keep them safe though I am sure that their parents will try to come.”

“True which is why I hope their exploits on the Outer Rim will detract attention.”

“Isn’t that manipulation?”

“Sadly yes, but there are some demons that must be met and eventually my sister and I will need to make a run for it.”

“I see.” The conversation ended with Mamesa bowing and wishing her friend farewell. She reflected on how Karas first approached her. She had warned him that the hamachi would move frequently and he readily agreed. Even her old friend agreed. It wouldn’t be unusual to have children around the hamachi. Geisha and maiko were often brought in at young ages, often sold by their families or orphaned. She went to bed thinking that tomorrow would start the first lesson.

Morning found the children, with the exception of Kimiko, being scrubbed clean separately by the maids in the hut. Mamesa herself brought their new clothes, cotton like kimonos, to each of them telling them, “Outside you wear these,” and she held a pair of sandals, “Inside these,” and motioned with a pair of socks. Then pulling the robes on she continued, “We don’t show our bare feet like Shreyites. This is a geisha and maiko house. Remember to always honor this house by listening and learning.” Once she tied the sashes she motioned them to get to work, sending the boys to the maiko and the girls to handle chores around the house.

Tulre felt stiff in his new clothes as he tugged on Morgan’s hand to head to where the maiko were practicing. It shocked him at the manner Mamesa put them to work but he didn’t expect that it was to be easy. Morgan followed because Tulre was going, not a good thing but at least he would stay close. Together they looked like brothers but certainly weren’t treated that way when they were greeted by the adult maiko teaching the new ones. They were immediately put to work lugging blades or cleaning things, a difficult thing for Morgan since he was little but he had his father’s scoundrel luck and spirit, meaning that he never gave up. They were placed with other boys that were a few years older and under consideration for Maiko School.

Lilah was only two so she couldn’t do much in terms of work so she was placed with the elderly woman called Tante, meaning ‘auntie,’ in simple household chores and learning how to fold the many kimono that belonged to that house. Kimiko, being five, could do more and was left with the brunt of the harder chores but she did them cheerfully and teaching Lilah when she asked to learn. Kimiko enjoyed telling Lilah about geisha and what they did.

It became a routine with the boys heading out in the morning to Maiko School and Lilah and Kimiko working in the okiya, or their house. At night, the boys returned tired but they were made to eat their evening meal and to bathe and then go to bed. Only on festival days did the boys not have to go to Maiko School for the maiko were performing and only the apprentices could help. On those days, they helped Kimiko with the cleaning of the okiya. Tante would tease Tulre and say that the earth needs to be firm because of his eyes. Sometimes Mamesa would help them after her time with the books. She loved the children and made sure that they were healthy and would ask often if they were happy. They were to continue that routine for the next few months until the boys became a year older and Lilah turned three.

It was then that the three of them were to go with Tante and Mamesa along with a few geisha and maiko to the capital city Miako to entertain the people. It was there that they met Mandalore or Canderous again who didn’t recognize them until Lilah tugged on his arm. He hadn’t been to the hamachi but Sarna had as often as could be spared and she told him how they were. It was there with HK that he was able to give news to them about their parents. Afterwards, they went back to the okiya feeling happy yet sad that they couldn’t go home yet. Mamesa told them that they should not be sad but to keep busy. They trudged along back to routine learning what they could at the hamachi until they moved entirely to a new planet.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-22-2006, 02:43 AM   #101
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Yes I don't like Cena. Good Chapter as always and I'm looking foward to more. I'm glad the manuscript is failing now.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-22-2006, 07:51 AM   #102
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
''Uncle Candy'' now that's just... just...
I bet Canderous hates it, he just doesn't seem the family, or the children type.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-22-2006, 04:41 PM   #103
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
He has a soft spot for little Lilah. He won't admit to anyone save Sarna. Who can't but help fall under the spell of a cute not little three year old? No he doesn't hate it. He may growl when in the presence of warriors he respects like Revan and Kirabaros but he is touched.
I noticed something. In the chapters that I am writing now, I have purposely put in some movie lines and there are references to the game itself, of certain incidents. I also noticed that some seem disjoined from one another because it is my intention to leave people hanging. I will say this, I made good on my promise that HK is going to get to blast some meatbags. Yes, a person will die, maybe two, haven't decided yet because the Republic is still in a funk with Avalon because of my baddie. Also there will be some dismemberment and I can say that it will not be caused by HK. So ther.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-22-2006, 05:12 PM   #104
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Chapter 25
The Outer Rim was no place for a Jedi wanted by various systems but it was a place to get lost in, just as long as you had a ship that wasn’t a registered Republic vessel. It was just the place for the lone vessel cruising towards the familiar desert world of Tatooine. It looked like a wounded animal limping for shelter as it had a damaged hyperdrive but it was worth its salt. Kirabaros saw to that, well he had seen to that.

After three months of testimony and relentless attempts on Revan’s life by dissident peoples from the Outer Rim crying for blood, Kirabaros, with the support of several senators took the initiative and got Revan out. He himself was not well received anymore for during that time rumors began to spread about him. Very few senators had faith in him and they were the ones who supported his get away plan. They were joined by Carth, Dustil, Caelos and T3 creating an able bodied crew of six and took off towards the Outer Rim. They couldn’t go back to Avalon for Kirabaros was wanted by the Council on a charge of treason, a charge as a result of the rumors. Along the way, they were able to blend in with various civilians until they were ratted out and they had to flee. Somewhere they lost Kirabaros.

The port of Anchorhead welcomed the Wayfarer with no questions except to pay a onetime docking fee, which was given without argument. After landing the ship, Carth left the cockpit and made his way to the engine room where Caelos was working on the hyperdrive. Caelos greeted him without preamble, “They took out the hyperdrive generator Carth. It’s gone. We’re going to need a new one.”

“That’s going to complicate things. Any other problems?”

“Minor problems. Easily repairable,” Caelos replied while returning to work. “What I wouldn’t give to have that Iridonian tech here. All wires and switches to him.”

“Uh, okay. Besides the parts, what else do we need?”

“Probably stock up on supplies and we need information. First I think you should talk to her,” Caelos stopped working to look at Carth. “He was her brother.”

Carth said nothing but nodded at Caelos. Taking a deep breath, Carth left the engine room and made his way to the dormitories. The Wayfarer had been designed like the Ebon Hawk, a stock freighter, but in the Avalonian design, meaning that it was faster and a tiny bit more spacious. Carth passed T3 warbling sadly and going about making repairs and went to the quarters that he and Revan shared to find her sitting cross-legged on the bed while Dustil sat across her just staring at her with a perplexed frown. Quietly he treaded towards Dustil and placed a hand on his shoulder. Dustil looked at his father and nodded and went to find Caelos. Carth took his place in front of Revan and studied her.

Revan was still as a statue. Her hair was frizzing and at odd angles and her honey colored eyes were glazed over. She had sat in that manner ever since… “Rev?” Carth asked gently. She hadn’t even heard his voice for she was stuck in time or rather a memory.

They had just left Naboo after being found out by mercenaries of dissident Avalonians and were heading towards Ryloth since the senator had offered aid. Carth
had been piloting the Wayfarer and Kirabaros was teaching a new Bushida form to Dustil and Caelos, much to the amusement of Revan. The sudden shudder sent Kirabaros striding purposely to the cockpit. They had been caught by a cruiser class ship. The unasked question was on everyone’s lips and was answered by Kirabaros, “It’s an Avalonian vessel.”

Captured and questioned separately by none other than Admiral Keegan, Kirabaros managed to break everyone out with the help of T3. They were able to disable the necessary systems to get the ship away. Kirabaros was her rock for it was like the Leviathan all over again. He understood and sent reassuring thoughts through their bond as they battled their way through Avalonian troops, Outcast troops. She could see that it pained him to kill members of his people but he never faltered. It wasn’t until they were at the main door before the hangar bay that the mastermind of this whole mess appeared with Keegan.

Draconis introduced himself with the practiced grace of the nobility. He drew a serrated blade and Keegan drew a standard issue vibroblade. They charged but Kirabaros countered with a powerful Force Wave. He yelled at his friends to run for the ship much to against the protest of his friends. Draconis and Keegan were getting to their feet. As soon as the last person was through, he used the Force to lock the door.

They ran until they reached the ship. She could sense his determination and will as she boarded the ship. Carth fired up the engines but she paid no heed except to watch out the window as the turrets fired upon them. Their shield generator got hit but that didn’t matter. Not even after T3 went out to reroute power for he cut her off after he had been in pain much like Bastila did.


Carth had been calling to Revan trying to break her out of her trance for some time now. He didn’t know what to do for he knew how much Kirabaros meant to her. Though patience wasn’t his strong suit, he was willing to wait. He studied her face and her posture. It looked like she was meditating but she wasn’t and he had an idea why. When they had been captured, it brought back memories of the torment they suffered on the Leviathan. He even recognized the old feelings of betrayal when he found out that Keegan had been trying to kill his wife and kidnap his daughter. He sighed and moved from being across from Revan to sit next to her.

Revan slowly became aware that something had changed. Her senses reached out and found the one source of comfort in the galaxy and it was right next to her. She then heard a voice in her mind, ‘Love is a precious thing. It is always there no matter what.’ That seemed to wake her up for she burst into tears only to be engulfed by Carth’s strong, comforting arms. Caelos had been watching and was satisfied at what he saw. He turned to walk away quietly. There would be plenty of time to give a report later.


Being a scoundrel was an easy way to blend in, if you wanted to get lost. It was easier for Avalonians because they knew how to adapt quickly, an odd yet useful trait. It allowed Rowan and Atton to pass off as smugglers and the like on Nar Shaddaa and Michaela was considered, more or less, a bounty hunter that hired them. It helped that the whole Jedi personage was discarded and Rowan was careful not to slip into his habit of quoting Bushida. They had come there for there was rumor that the leader of the group that wanted to kill Revan was recruiting from there.

What started out as a mission to find the kids turned out to be an undercover mission. Early on, they had been contacted by Mission who had a message from Kirabaros that it wasn’t a good idea to go anywhere near Coruscant. He also hinted that there had been heavy persuasion being used on the dissident peoples of the Outer Rim who suffered at the hands of Darth Revan. Michaela, reading the plea between the lines, suggested that they investigate this and try to find out what was going on. Atton didn’t want to give up but when Michaela pointed out that they might come across someone who had seen them, he agreed.

They had arrived on Nar Shaddaa yesterday without question or ceremony. The reason being that Michaela managed to bribe the dock master with credits. Atton led the way being the most familiar with the refugee sector but became increasingly uncomfortable with Michaela’s silence. He peered at her to take a look at what was the matter. He found her regal features marred by a trace of sadness, the kind that accompanied loss and her eyes had a peculiar glazed look. Rowan gave the impression that he didn’t see anything when in fact he did. He had felt it too but he wasn’t comfortable showing emotion. Atton asked what was the matter. Michaela, her eyes returning to their bright brown, just smiled and said, “Nothing.”

Atton wasn’t so sure but he decided not to press the issue. He had the nagging feeling that it had to do with Kirabaros. Though they were friends, he didn’t share the same connection his wife and kid did. He said nothing more about it. They had enough troubles meeting up with the mercs.


The room was confining, the force field burned if you brushed against it yet Kirabaros didn’t notice these things. He didn’t notice anything at all as he lay on the bunk in the cell. He lingered somewhere in limbo in his mind drifting from past to present, always searching for a way out. He knew how to get out but he stayed there. He had the keys but the door remained locked and it was a good thing too. There was something around his neck that was meant to mentally torture a Jedi. It reeked of a familiar presence and taking that into account, Kirabaros locked away his mind and allowed it to drift into nothingness. At one point, his mind drifted to how he got to where he was.

Revan had escaped just as Draconis and Keegan were getting up. He twirled his lightsaber and readied for attack. Draconis waved Keegan off and circled Kirabaros saying, “You can’t imagine how I dreamed of this moment. You have defiled centuries of ancient tradition all because of your petty complaint that all was not right.”

It was mocking to hear that as Keegan left with a smirk on his face. Kirabaros was well aware that most of nobles disliked him because of the ending of the separate but equal clauses. They always tried to discredit him one way or another. Kirabaros replied, “You would risk open war between our people and the Republic just to be rid of me?”

“I would murder innocents just to see you hanged,” Draconis replied, not moving.

“Well now that you have me, what do you plan to do?”

The question was answered by a forward charge by Draconis. Kirabaros countered and advanced. It was impressive swordplay as they exchanged blows. The first breach came when Draconis feinted and made a hard thrust into Kirabaros’ upper arm. Painful as it was, Kirabaros refused to let out a cry and continued, returning the favor with a stab to the leg of Draconis. It then became much like a petty slapping match with some hits being nicks and others being punches or kicks.

It ended when Draconis reached out with the Force and slammed Kirabaros into the bulkhead. Kirabaros didn’t have ample recovery time when he felt a burning sensation in his side. The last thing he remembered was blacking out.


So here he was lying on a bunk, a prisoner of Draconis, drifting in and out of consciousness. He had cut her off from him so easily after she left. In fact, he cut himself off from everything, as if he were dead and not one with the Force. It allowed him to concentrate on a calming sensation to heal. It was working but consumed much energy, energy he didn’t have at the moment but somehow he managed to find more. There’s more than one way to play this game.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-22-2006, 05:26 PM   #105
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Good Chapter JM12 and I'm looking foward to more. At this rate, it looks like it will be a lot longer compared to the Rise of the Blood King.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-22-2006, 07:53 PM   #106
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Yep, yep. I have so many things going on, even I have a hard time trying to keep up. Still I have some interesting coincidences and the like coming up. Feed on that Pottsie until you starve cause it will be a while before my next post.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-23-2006, 05:16 AM   #107
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Very very very VERY goooood!! JM's writing talent applied to the fullest. I've said it once before and I'll say it again: you might want to stop writing for free and start doing it for a living.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-23-2006, 09:41 PM   #108
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
You did say that igyman? I must have forgot due to all I have on my plate right now. That was a nice compliment by the way.

On a general note: Did anyone recognize a bit of The Phantom Menace in this chapter when Carth was asking about the hyperdrive generator? Well with that said, I'll warm you that there is more where that came from. The line where Draconis mentions a petty complaint, that was based off a line from the musical 1776. So you see that I am wide spread. Thanks for being loyal readers and I'll try to get the next chapters up soon.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-24-2006, 04:37 AM   #109
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Yeah, I did. Right here.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-26-2006, 11:18 AM   #110
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Oh. Like I said I forgot and I have been swamped. I am in the middle of writing my final for the upper division writing. A 10 page research paper and I actually wrote it but I have to fix it so I have to improve the wheel. not reinvent it. Thanks for the reminder igyman. I have considered it. I even have a story involving archaeology and magic, blah, blah with a bit of hint, hint, romance. Can't get away fromit but this tiem the hero's a gal. Thanks for the reminder igyman.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-28-2006, 04:16 PM   #111
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Finally another chapter.
*Still waving the unposted chapters at Pottsie*

Chapter 26

The hunt was over, the Jedi was caught. That was the way it was with being a bounty hunter. You could track something for days and months and sometimes someone else claimed the bounty. This time the client got the bounty himself. That didn’t matter to Jaqrand. He was still being paid for his services and he was asked to join the ranks. He was good at finding things and his kills were needed to find Revan. That sounded good. Even better was the fact that the idiots who were to grab the kids failed and no longer on the job. Permanently.

He was walking with his client who was showing him to the best rooms on the ship. They stopped at the force field and peered in. The lifeless body gave no indication that he noticed them. There was no indication that the body was alive save for the vital signs on the panel. Jaqrand took one look and his face registered disappointment. He wasn’t being paid to torture dead bodies.

Draconis was gazing at the body lying on the bunk with great interest. He caught the disappointment on his bounty hunter’s face and smiled. Kirabaros had achieved a state that took years to learn and in just a few hours. Impressed but pleased. He had tarnished his reputation in the Republic and Senator Amstar was in a rut trying to keep relations sound. To ease Jaqrand’s discomfort, he said, “Don’t worry. He’s alive and the vitals prove it.”

“Even in sleep a person moves. This thing isn’t moving. You expect me to torment and subdue this lump?” Jaqrand looked at Draconis as if he were insane.

“He is alive. It’s about time for him to come out of any way. I want that disruptor of yours on when he wakes up. What you do then is up to you but I want Keegan to have a word with him.” Draconis turned on his heel to walk away.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to go back to Coruscant. I have been invited to speak out against our prisoner.” Draconis was walking when he said this.

Jaqrand shook his head and continued to gaze at the lifeless body. He pulled out the neural disruptor that he spent time checking. He gave a sigh and lowered the force field.


He was on the Jasilyn plains where the tall grasses rippled in the wind like an endless green sea. The warm sun cast a sheet of soft light on the green. At a small glen near the river were two people, or was it three? He got closer and saw that it was three, two men and a woman. They turned to face him with the woman holding the arm of the taller of the two men. She had golden brown eyes and dark brown hair and a smile that was endearing to anyone. She looked at him and beamed brightly and said, “I knew you’d find us here.”

The one she was holding onto brought a double take to his eyes. The green eyes and the two stray brown locks gave him away. He looked very much like how he did when he was that age. The other young man had messy hair and lively brown eyes. He smiled like his father but the eyes held the traces of temper from his mother. He spoke, “We have been waiting.”

“There is dangerous footing ahead,” the green-eyed youth interjected. “We will stay here. It is safe here but Aunt Reva needs your help. She can’t fight him alone.”

“Mama will need your help but the Republic needs heart,” the woman said.

“The Heart of the Guardian,” the brown-eyed youth said. “Home won’t be home without the Republic and my papa won’t come home.”

“Right Dada. Kirabaros is being called again,” the green-eyed youth said.

They stood there as he drew back. He looked at the three of them as they stood there, watching him leave. He saw as his son dropped a gentle kiss on her cheek…



Tulre awoke on his pallet, his green eyes roaming about the room. He could hear Morgan wake up beside him with short little gasps. He turned to look at Morgan and asked, “You had the same one?”

Morgan looked at Tulre and nodded. He wasn’t sure where he had been but it was familiar. Having grown up in the academy, he had never seen the plains of Jasilyn but it had that familiar warmth and it felt safe. Tulre had been there and so had been Lilah but they were all grown up. He asked Tulre, “Why did we see your papa?”

Tulre was puzzled himself. He whispered back, “I think Dada is in trouble.”

“I think so too.”

They were stopped when the door to their room opened. Lilah tottered into their room and kneeled between their pallets. She whispered, “Mama needs help too.” That told the boys that she had the same dream they had. They had no idea that they were beginning to take their first steps into a larger world. They sat there in companionable silence until Lilah got up to go back to her room.

Tulre watched as she left. Even though he told his Marmar that she was a Jawa, he felt the deepest feelings for her. Glancing at Morgan, he felt a special kinship, kind of like the one he sensed between his Dada and Aunt Reva. He thought about the dream as he waited until Morgan drifted off to sleep.


Kirabaros slowly opened his eyes and felt nothing except a dull hum. He saw that he was still lying on the bunk that he had been laying on trying to heal himself. The only thing different was that he found something rubbing on his neck. Slowly, he reached with his left to touch the object around his neck. He didn’t flinch when he felt the familiar band of a Force inhibitor and he could tell it was a powerful one. That would account for the dull hum he could hear.

Ignoring the collar, he gazed up and thought about the last vision that he had. Judging from the vision, he could make out that the children were all right in Mamesa’s care though he seriously doubted they were back on Avalon. They had been waiting for him they said. Apparently it had to be the Force at work but he couldn’t use it. He surmised that they instinctively reached out to him together and he responded. They really are quite a team. I hope she knows how to handle them.

His thoughts were interrupted by a cruel voice, one he didn’t recognize. “So you’re awake now,” it stated the obvious.

Kirabaros turned his head to face a man with dark hard and dark glittering eyes. He was sitting on a steel chair looking at him as if he had been waiting for him to wake up. Kirabaros put a hand to his eyes to block out the light as he refocused on his surroundings. The only thing that moved was his chest and the hand.

Jaqrand watched as the Jedi moved. He marveled inwardly at how he minimized his movements but outwardly showed a slight irritation. He asked, “What are you thinking about? That you can’t hear your precious Force?” He smiled in anticipation of the panic.

Kirabaros had other ideas. He slowly sat up, allowing a few seconds for the dizziness to pass through and leaned back against the wall. He smiled at his captor and replied, “I am thinking ‘what a low down scum like yourself is doing with a high class scumbag like Draconis?’”

Jaqrand was startled. Usually Jedi tend to scream when they realized that they lost the Force. This one was thinking that this was a joke. Jaqrand had little idea that Kirabaros was not easily intimidated and that he had faced torture before and it was firmly etched in his mind. He hid it by replying, “You think this is some sort of game? Do you have any idea who I am? What I was?”

“No but I have a feeling that I’m about to find out, Jaqrand.” Kirabaros had a stoic face that gave nothing away.

“You know my name?” Jaqrand couldn’t help but ask. He had stood up from the chair and tried to look intimidating.

Kirabaros slowly stood up to meet his gaze. He started to walk forward as he said, “And what you did and what you intend to do.” He didn’t really know but he had a gut feeling that this man was the one that shot him on Avalon and had been behind the attempt during the Senate proceedings. He stared at Jaqrand for a long time, not moving. His mind was already bent on escaping and he had an idea how. He needed to wait for the opportune moment.

Jaqrand frowned at him and replied, “So you know that I have been hired at first to kill you and now torture you?”

Now full of information, Kirabaros responded, “Yes. You are very much like an old person I know of. He’s not like you anymore. He moved on. You haven’t.”

“That’s because I know where my loyalties stand,” Jaqrand moved towards the field. He was unnerved that this Jedi wasn’t responding like the others. “Perhaps my client will want a few moments with you. Now excuse me, I have an appointment,” and he left Kirabaros standing there.

Kirabaros stood there for a while and then slowly sat on the bunk. Even though he couldn’t feel the Force, it wasn’t deafening or dramatic like it was for Darius, the Exile. Instead he concentrated on where he had seen his son, goddaughter and nephew. Morgan he called his nephew because of the brotherhood he and Atton shared as Jedi, an Avalonian thing. He went into a meditative state and calmed his body and mind. He was going to need it and he didn’t need the Force to sense it.


“Statement: I detest this mission you are sending me on you Mandalorian meatbag.”

“As much as I liked having you around you demented tin can, I can do without you for awhile. Besides, if my intelligence is correct, you’ll get a chance to bust some skulls.” Canderous was in a foul mood. After spending the last few months with droid after dropping the kids off at the hamachi, he was glad to get rid of it. He found out disturbing news from one of the traders that came by Amshrey and it was confirmed by a transmission from Michaela. He would go himself but he had been asked, not ordered to continue with what he was doing and he and Sarna were going in the opposite direction. He asked me to send HK. Almost as if he knew what was going to happen, he thought to himself.

HK broke his musings when he exclaimed, “Objection: Master surely needs me!”

“Whatever. There you are ready to go under your protocol two-two-beta-charlie-one.” Canderous rolled his eyes and watched as the new protocol activated. HK then took to stomping out to a ship that he was to take. He watched until the droid was gone and went to the communications console. Right on time the console activated to reveal an old friend. To him he said, “Alright Old Man he’s gone. What next?”

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-28-2006, 04:23 PM   #112
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JediMaster12
*Still waving the unposted chapters at Pottsie*
Dang and I thought that had passed over. Very good JM12 and I'm looking foward to more as always.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-29-2006, 02:19 PM   #113
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Very nice, but that's characteristical for you. Believe it, or not, I have no complaints this time, none whatsoever. I liked everything. From the Draconis and Jaqrand dialogue to the cliffhanger. Keep it up.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-29-2006, 02:27 PM   #114
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Cliffhangers I love. I try to do it but make sure it fits. I want to keep my readers interested. Thanks for the compliments igyman and Pottsie. Sorry Pottsie but you will still be tortured. Things are sketchy now. How's that for a cliffhanger?

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-04-2006, 04:57 PM   #115
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Ok. I have a new chapter for you finally. This one is kind of long and again I couldn't resist certain pieces of dialogue that I will leave you to figure out.

Chapter 27
Pulling herself together wasn’t easy and Carth and Caelos weren’t going to let her fall apart. Because of that, Revan managed to help out as they sought a means to get the necessary money to buy the parts they needed for the hyperdrive of the Wayfarer. They had gone to one of the smaller junk dealers who had a good working order hyperdrive generator for a stock freighter Avalonian class. The dealer was a Toydarian who called himself Tatlo and was often seen with a bunch of flies hanging around him. Revan had gone with Carth and T3, disguised as a spacer and the slight stench found them first.

Tatlo was agreeable at first since they were customers. Revan only had to glance around to see that the Toydarian had it made. He told her that he was the only one there in Anchorhead who had one but suggested that she’d buy a new ship since it would be cheaper. The question about funding came about, “How are you going to pay for it?”

“I have twenty thousand Republic credits,” she said in the manner of business.

“Republic credits? Those are no good out here anymore. I need something more real,” Tatlo replied flying to get in front of Revan.

“I don’t have anything else,” and doing what she disliked doing unless absolutely necessary, she waved her hand, “but credits will do fine.”

“No, they won’t.”

“Credits will do fine,” Revan said again with a little more of the Force.

“No, they won’t! What, you think you’re some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that?” Tatlo waved his hand mocking the manner of the Jedi Mind Trick. “I’m a Toydarian. Mind tricks don’t work on me. Only money.” Then accentuating his points by getting slightly in her face, “No money, no parts no deal! And no one else has an AV-20 hyperdrive I can promise you that.”

Revan had said nothing but gave a slight smile and went to collect Carth who had been looking for other spare parts. “We’re leaving. T3.” She headed out the door to find an alley where they could contact Caelos.


Caelos had just finished dismantling the old generator when Revan contacted him. He sighed as he picked up the comm and said, “Caelos.”

Revan’s voice came over, “We have a problem. We don’t have enough for the parts. Can you check what we have?”

“Wait a minute,” and Caelos went to do a quick sweep of the ship. He reported his findings to Revan.

“Are you sure there is nothing else on board?” she asked.

“A few containers of supplies. The ale that was found in the hidden compartment maybe but not enough for you to barter with. Not the amounts you’re talking about,” Caelos replied.

“Alright, another solution will present itself. I’ll check back later”

“You all right?”

“Yes,” Revan replied and repeated that she’ll check in later.

Caelos sat back on his heels next to the generator he had just disassembled and heaved a sigh. Dustil came walking in and asked what was up. Caelos didn’t stand but reiterated the problem that they had in order to obtain the new generator. Caelos laid out the option that he knew would win money but required daring. It was meant to be a last resort when he said, “The only way to get the money without having to resort to other forms of shady business is to run at the swoop track.”


“Carth, it is the only way but the problem is that there may not be anyone wanting to race against me, er, Lilah Aldstar.”

“You disliked racing the last time we were here and I seem to recall that you crashed the last time,” Carth ticked off on his fingers.

Revan turned her honey colored eyes from him and reverted them to gaze at the people passing through the streets. True she had no stomach for racing but she did it because they had no choice. She didn’t want to resort to bounty hunting and hunting on the sand dunes would take too long. She remembered quite clearly that last race. Something hit the bike and she skidded out of control after crossing the finish line. She managed to leap off but ended up with a few bruised ribs and a nasty scrape that required Jolee to clean it out before administering healing. There were some good things that happened then and she smiled when she remembered it.

I was afraid then and I am afraid now but I have no choice just as much as I did then. Revan pondered some more before turning back to Carth and said, “We have no choice. We have to race.”

“Where are we going to get a swoop bike R-Lilah?” Carth nearly said her name but caught it just in time. “Unless you get a sponsor, we have no chance of getting into the race.”

“Perhaps we can engage in a high stakes…”

“Uh, you cleaned out everyone the last time and I think the bar tenders might remember you,” Carth pointed out.

“Alright but what about dejarik or a game of chance?” Revan was suggesting games that most people bet on and the last one could be a sure bet.

“Maybe we should include Caelos and Dustil in on this?” Carth suggested hoping to get her mind off the idea of racing. He was relieved when she agreed when she didn’t argue but he was also alert. It was a method of hers that she used to get something by pretending to back down and then pounce in for the kill when there was no wiggle room to maneuver.

They just started to set off went T3 beeped something.

Revan looked at the little droid and said, “Not likely. We have nothing of value and that’s our problem.” She turned to lead the way back to the ship and adjusted to allow Carth to come up beside her. They continued down the street until a sight stopped them.


Mamesa wasn’t feeling well. She hadn’t ever since the hamachi moved to Tatooine as a resting point before heading out to one of cultured worlds. They were able to make some money through the maiko who gave demonstrations and even lessons in combat training. Still the heat and the sand got to her and she developed a slight fever. With Tante’s help, she got over the worse but she was still poorly and the house suffered. Still she kept a pleasant face and continued to watch her charges as she had promised and Tante helped.

On this day Tulre was being sent to a weaponry shop where one of the maiko had sent his weapon to be repaired and to obtain some energy charges. He took Morgan with him since they had a huge order of charges to pick up and they hadn’t been outside the hamachi for awhile, not since the maiko Gengi got into some trouble with some locals trying to push them around. The boys had been there and ended up with a few bruises for trying to help out. Mamesa was upset but relieved even though she wasn’t supposed to share her feelings. Who could help but like the four sprats she had running around the hamachi?

They had picked up what they were supposed to and were heading home. They stopped at one of the vendors where Tulre bought some sweet bread. The money he had came from the mechanical gadgets and repairs he made around the hamachi. Lilah helped too even though she wasn’t supposed to but like him, she loved mechanical things. Morgan earned money too by playing the maiko with dejarik and occasionally pazaak. He also learned of a drinking game but he was too young for that but he kept book on the participants. Of course Mamesa wasn’t to know since gambling wasn’t technically allowed. They were talking and munching their bread when they were stopped by a group of young punks who demanded their money.


Revan saw the boys before they saw her but she didn’t recognize them. The taller of the two took an aggressive stance and pushed the smaller one behind him. It was clear that his intention was to ward off the bullies who were twice his size as his hand reached into his tunic, or whatever it was. There was something familiar about him but she could place it. He was tanned, possibly from the suns and his skin was a brown. He has courage, much like Kirabaros, she thought as she stopped. The little one had even messier and darker hair and looked ridiculous holding all that gear as he was being pushed behind the taller of the two.

Carth noticed that Revan had stopped and was watching something so he stopped too. He asked, “What’s on your mind?”

She smiled at the familiar question but it quickly dissipated as she pointed towards the boys. She whispered, “Think we should help?”


“I don’t want any trouble,” Tulre said. He had placed his hand into his sash that was holding his kimono top together. “Now’s not the time.”

The apparent leader, a Rodian, said something that Morgan couldn’t understand but Tulre did. The Rodian said something like, “You want no trouble. You ask for trouble. You have energy charges.”

“They aren’t for you. Leave us alone,” Tulre said, unconsciously drawing on the Force.

It wasn’t enough for the Rodian laughed at him. He replied, “Heh. Little boy think he can tell us to go away.” The rest of the group began to laugh.

A little more forcefully, Tulre tried again, this time in Huttese, “Careful Gendar. The maiko don’t take kindly to one of their being harmed. I’d hate to see you diced before we have to race again.” He smiled.

“The next time we race, I’ll see you eating my exhaust,” the Rodian replied as he walked by. He gave a hard shove to Morgan who fell to the ground as the group walked away laughing.

Tulre called in Huttese as they were leaving, “Yeah and it would be a pain if you have to pay for me.” He helped Morgan up and dusted him off. He picked up the energy charges and handed the blade to Morgan. They continued to walk home and talked in Avalonian. They were brought up short by a woman, a man and a T3 unit. Tulre recognized his father’s friends and T3 wasn’t hard to forget but judging by the look on their faces, they didn’t recognize them. He said in Basic, “Hi.”

Revan was surprised at the little boy’s courage with the bullies. Even more so by the linguistic ability the taller of the two possessed. In response to his question, she responded, “Hi there. You almost picked a fight there with a Rodian. Not a good choice unless you know what you are doing.”

“The tried to pick a fight with us,” Tulre retorted, his green eyes flashing.

“I don’t doubt that,” Reva replied, “What are your names?”

Obeying the instructions that Mamesa gave them, by responding with the maiko names she gave them, “Shang-Li.”

Morgan followed Tulre with, “Chiyo-chan or Chiyo.”


The sands began to swirl around the city of Anchorhead. Caelos was standing in the port looking at the sky and watching the sand swirls. He was looking up and watching the dockhands scurry for shelter. He muttered to himself, “This storm will slow them down.” He shielded his eyes from the blowing sand. His comm beeped and he answered, “Caelos.”

“Receiving a message from Coruscant,” Dustil’s voice came over the comm.

“I’ll be right there,” Caelos replied. He gave one last look at the dock before walking up the ramp to the Wayfarer. At the top of the ramp, he shut the doors and locked them. I hope they find some shelter from the storm, he thought as he walked towards the communications room. He was met by Dustil who bent over the console to show him the transmission.


Carth looked at the boys as they looked at them and thought they looked familiar. It became clear to him as he peered at their manner and the voice they gave their ‘names’ and he gave an inward chuckle to himself. You are clever Kirabaros. He gripped Revan’s arm gently and said, “We should be heading back to our ship. A storm’s coming up.”

“Where’s that?” Morgan asked.

“At the starport, docking block AA23,” Carth replied much to the surprise of his wife.

“You’ll never reach that side in time,” Morgan exclaimed.

“He’s right. Sandstorms are very, very dangerous. Come on. I’m sure the hamachi will have room,” Tulre added.

Refusing help to carry their load, the boys led the way to the gates of the hamachi. Even though the huts looked flimsy, they held up quite well to all types of weather. They led the way to the largest hut to have the door opened by Kimiko. She bowed as they and their guests walked in and closed the door. She watched them with a mild look of curiosity as they almost breached propriety when they forgot to remove their boots. Being a kind girl, she showed them where to store their boots and remained there as Tante came into view and showed their visitors, with the exception of the droid, to the sitting room and shooed Kimiko to get tea. It looked as if teatime would be an interesting time during the sandstorm.

Tulre and Morgan, when they entered, took off their shoes quickly and hurried off to find Tante and tell her who had come. They had left their companions at the landing to be helped by Kimiko and to put away their purchases. Once they disposed of their packages, they hurried up to the rooms where they found Lilah putting away kimono. It was Morgan who spoke, “Guess who we brought for tea?”

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-04-2006, 05:03 PM   #116
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
I noticed that some of Tatlo's dialogue was similar to Watto's in Episode I. Anyway, good Chapter as always JM12 and I'm looking foward to more. I'm also going to read some of your reviews from the people at KFM. One question. Do you prefer LF or KFM?
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-04-2006, 05:05 PM   #117
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Nooooo!!! It was really good until now. Don't tell me you're running out of ideas that you had to rewrite a part of Episode One for the fic. C'mon JM12, you know you can do better than this, story-wise (grammar-wise it's all good).

P.S. Hurry up and edit the Ep. One pieces out before anyone else sees it.

Edit: Ah, too late, Pottsie already saw it.
@Pottsie: It's not just that dialogue, most of the plot of this chapter is taken from Episode One, hence my disappointment.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-04-2006, 05:24 PM   #118
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by igyman
Nooooo!!! It was really good until now. Don't tell me you're running out of ideas that you had to rewrite a part of Episode One for the fic. C'mon JM12, you know you can do better than this, story-wise (grammar-wise it's all good).

P.S. Hurry up and edit the Ep. One pieces out before anyone else sees it.

Edit: Ah, too late, Pottsie already saw it.
@Pottsie: It's not just that dialogue, most of the plot of this chapter is taken from Episode One, hence my disappointment.
I don't mind Episode I. I sometimes use inspiration from both the film and the game for my Fics. I'm sure JM12 did that as well.
Diego Varen is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-04-2006, 06:25 PM   #119
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,413
Current Game: Diablo III RoS (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Inspiration is fine, but JM12 used the same dialogue from Ep. 1 with the Toydarian and also that encounter with the Rodian's gang resembles a lot to Anakin's encounter with Sebulba and there's the fact that there will be a swoop race (so they could get the parts they need for their ship). Like I said I'm fine with using movies, games and books for inspiration, but this was completely taken from the movie, only the names have been changed and that's what I don't like. Especially after reading JM's work so far, I mean it was great and completely original and now I see this.

@JM12: Don't get discouraged by my comments, it's all with good intentions.

igyman is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-04-2006, 06:37 PM   #120
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
igyman: It was intentional when I used Episode one. The nice thing is that Revan finally puled herself together though I think that she may become frazzled when certain persons are beaten and tortured and held as bait, or rescued.The scenes regarding the boys being attempted to be robbed I thought that a good way for some worried parents to see how the sprats are getting along. I do promise that the next chapter involves familiar characters and reinforces the secrets and deception theme and maybe a certain bounty hunter will meet up with a former Sith assassin turned scoundrel turned Jedi?


Pottsie: I write for both sites and really have no preference. I like KFM because there are new fics and it is an archive of ideas for when I compose my absurd diddies. I like the stories too. LF I like because there are great fics here too and they don't have to relate to KOTOR but STar Wars in general. Feel free to read them. The link is in my siggie where it says KFM. That goes to my personal pages. Your favorite HotG is there along with my shorties HoD and other diddies and I believe a poem that I wrote for the heck of it. So enjoy. To post I believe you have to become a member. The nice thing about that site is that you can change the username yourself. I started as JM12 but changed it to Kirabaros.

Don't worry. Some chapters I base off of movies because it fits quite well with my intention of storylines. I do promise that things do get a little crispy and there will be some nagging and lightsaber duels and there may be the start of a war or a prevention. It dependeds on which way the creative genius sways. In the meantime, Check out Blessings of the Written Word for relaxation in between chapters. You'll need it.

EDIT: igyman, no harmdone and I know that you are disappointed. I wasn't even thinking of using a swoop race to raise the money necessary for the parts. I had something else in mind that may involve a little swordplay and all the Wayfarer crew in participation. Let's just say that scum of the galaxy like a little bit of bloodshed.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > [FIC]Heart of Deception

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:17 PM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.