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Old 10-09-2006, 09:01 AM   #1
Darth_Terros's Avatar
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[FIN][Short Fic] Histories

Ok heres something i wrote for the backstory to my Mandalorian i roleplay on Starwars Galaxies it needs some work i know but i thought i'd post it here for some of you to check out


The cantina was a hive of activity as normal the sound of various creatures all talking at once was unbareable but Tom'as beviin was used to this now he quite oftened visited dank pits like this one, He looked around and spotted a seat among a table of sentients playing a variant of Sabaac he stolled over and took a seat.

"Mind if i join?" Beviin said to a rather large Trandoshan "Sssure, dont sssee why notsss" the Trando hissed, Tom'as beviin glanced over at the dealer droid
and motioned for his cards to be dealt, it was a good hand Beviin slammed his credit chip on the table "i'm in 5,000 credits" the droid picked up the credit chip and swiped it along a groove in its chest, Beviin had only played the game a few times but he felt confident today "Lets get on with it" a impatient sullustan said in huttese fidgeting ith his cards.

The game went on for a couple of hours it was a good group and nobody was really paying much attention to what was being lost and won all Tom'as knew was he was down at least 1,000 credits but that was mere pocket change, It wasnt long before the conversation had turned to the players histories it turned out the Trandoshan was from a famous tribe of slaver ways and the Sullustan was a retired miner from sullust with his grandfather being the inventor of a new type of hydro-drill "sssoo whats your hissstory thenss" the Trandoshan asked Tom'as "well if you insist" Tom'as said smiling at the Trando.

"My names Tom'as of the Mando'ad clan Beviin, for aslong as i know my aliit have always been soldiers and i can trace my families history all the way back to the days of Mand'lor the Ultimate, it was during this time my family were farmers on Eres III where we harvested the Xoxin which grew on the vast plains of that planet that was until the Mando'ade came they were merciless in their destruction burning the fields and destroying our buildings they killed most of my ancestors except for one man Hogg Beviin he put up a fight and fought mercilessly to defend his family and crops, The mando'ade must have respected that as they took him captive and he was forced to become a soldier in the mando'ade army where he reached the rank of squad leader and lead many troops to battle"

Tom'as Beviin looked down at this cards and knew he was about to gain the 1,000 credits he had lost previously the other players looked too engrossed in his story to be paying attention to their own cards.

"After the tragic defeat of Mand'alor the Ultimate at the hands of the Jettii Revan my ancestor went back to Eres III but finding no remants of his past life he left for the planet Mandalore where he married again and lived out the rest of his life as mercenary for hire, he had many children all trained in the Mando'ad ways, Thousands of genereations passed by and my aliit grew strong, numerous and fought many many battles for the highest bidder".

The Trando looked up at Beviin "nissse ssstory you have there but dont thinksss you can trick usss in to paying lessss atentsssion" he said slamming down his cards "damn it!" Beviin said realising he'd just lost 300 credits to the lizard "Dont worry you son of a Sathog theres more to be told" .

" Ok then maybe something more recent will take your mind off the game" Tom'as grinned "About sixty years ago my vode were torn apart into two rivals groups one was lead by a vod by the name of Vizsla and they took the name of the Deathwatch the other group were Jastor Mereel's Supercommandos, my ba'buir was a member of the Supercommandos and fought many battles agaisnt the Deathwatch, eventually Jastor was killed by Vizsla and a young soldier by the name of Jango Fett took up the title of Mand'alor he lead the and they enarly wiped out the Deathwatch who went into hiding on the planet of Galidraan, It was the governor of Galidraan who hired my ba'buir and his fellow vode to stop a colonist uprising but they were tricked by the governer and the Deatchwatch who had secretly contacted the Republic and Jetiise council informing them that Jango commandos were political activists".

"Jedi!, i hate those scum" the Sullustan said with a slur.

"Me too bur'cya me too" Tom'as said "Anyway so the republic had sent jetiise to Galidraan stop the rampaging Mando'ad activists, The Jetii task force was lead by a Jetii master by the name of Dooku, you may have heard of him? well back in those days he was still a Jetii master and a good one too they held Jango's commandos back the battle lasted for hours then the jettise pushed forward and completely destroyed my ba'buirs squad he died from a jeti'kaad through the heart but not before he had activated a thermal detonator, the news of their deaths soon reached mandalore it was a woeful day in our history"

"What happened to your women and children" Asked a Twi'lek who pulled up a seat at the table

"they carried on with their lives as farmers but never forgetting to train for the day when we'd become a powerful enough fighting force again, years had passed and along came the Clone wars it was during these times a man arrived on Mandalore claiming he would rally the clans, Some thought he might be the son of Jango Fett others thought he was a defective clone either way he took the name Mand'alor the Ressurector and he rebuilt the Supercommandos as the Protectors my father Tam Beviin joined his ranks leaving his pregnant wife Hether Beviin behind, He fought along side the Mand'alor at battles such as New Bornalex and New Holstice sadly the battle waged at New Holstice would be his last he was killed by the troops of a Jetii called Aayla Securra in a might battle which wiped out nearly both sides"

Tom'as Beviin reached out for a glass of Corellian ale and took a sip "That same day back on Mandalore my mother gave birth to me, i was cursed to never know my father but thankfully theres a old Mando'ad saying 'Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya' which translates to 'Train your sons to be strong but your daughters to be stronger.' my mother was a glorious fighter and well trained in demoltions she taught me everything i knew and when i reached the age of 13 i was ready for my trials, i spent weeks in a barren land learning how to fight and studying our cultures ways soon it was over i had survived and was finally a Mandalorian verde! im now 23 and in my short life so far i've seen many battles and no doubt i'll se many more but i will try to bring back honour to my clan and to my people soon the mando'ade while rise and the galaxy shall fear us oh and i believe gentlebeings i have a pure sabaac" Tom'as slammed his cards on the table a took a long sip of his drink.

Last edited by Darth_Terros; 10-16-2006 at 11:53 AM.
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Old 10-09-2006, 11:05 AM   #2
Diego Varen
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Good Short Fic, which should go to the Archives, but their are several things wrong with the Fic. Dank is drank, some things need to be capitialised and species/clans/etc need a capital. Eg.


Good Shortie. Haven't seen one for a while.
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Old 10-09-2006, 11:17 AM   #3
The Doctor
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Not bad. Pottsie caught pretty much everything I would have pointed out.

Originally Posted by Pottsie
Good Shortie. Haven't seen one for a while.
Don't worry, I'm working on a few of them now.
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Old 10-09-2006, 03:24 PM   #4
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Hey thanks! yeah i need to go through it again it was just a quick thing to establish my characters history when i get a few minutes i'll run through it and update something.

I tired to stay as true to what we know of mandalorian history as possible if anyone spots something that doesnt fit please say.

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