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Old 11-18-2000, 01:50 AM   #1
Thrawn
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Post The Newbie Handbook

Here are a few rules that Darth Sceltor and I came up with. Feel free to add on.
<P align="center">"How not to make the whole forum hate you"</P>
1.DON'T SAY THAT YOU'RE A NEWBIE!
2.DON'T SAY YOU'RE A FRIEND OF MILKSHAKE!
3.TRY NOT TO MORE STUPID THAN NUTE! IT MAKES HIM SAD!
4. LEARN HOW TO SPELL AND TYPE (FIND SHIFT KEY)!
5.LEARN HOW TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR POSTS!
6.DON'T INSERT MINDLESS RANDOM POSTS (THAT'S OUR JOB)!
7.DON'T EVER EVER EVER EXPECT A BGM!
8.IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A BGM IS, THEN REALLY DON'T EXPECT ONE!
9.GET SETI OR DIE!
10.DON'T ASK TO BE A SITH!!!!
11.DON'T ASK WHY THIS IS IN ALL CAPS, I JUST FELT LIKE IT TO DRILL IT INTO YOUR HEADS!
<SMALL>This has been a public forums announcement</SMALL>



------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:00 AM   #2
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Learn well and heed these rules, newbies.
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:02 AM   #3
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heeeyyyy...i never use the shift key...too lazy i guess but i can spell!!

i'd say also:

DON'T TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT ONLY A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE AROUND HERE UNDERSTAND!!! like inside jokes and stuff, because i think a lot of the "old timers" would agree with me that we really don't care about that stuff.
just keep it on the inside, alright
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:05 AM   #4
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Can I be a Sith?

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I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:05 AM   #5
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you go girlfriend!

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:11 AM   #6
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12. DON'T BE MAD WHEN OLD TIMERS VIOLATE THESE RULES. WE ARE ABOVE THE LAW.
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:13 AM   #7
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and always will be *evil grin*
13.In general, don't act like Nute at ALL. He is a professional.


------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:16 AM   #8
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I spent nine years in a secret government facility in Nevada to learn how to be this way. They were going to use me to destablize the Soviet Union, but the Cold War ended and they lost their funding.

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Old 11-18-2000, 02:16 AM   #9
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And as a precaution,

14. NEWBIES CAN'T MAKE RULES!
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:17 AM   #10
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Why don't they send you to China now?
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:19 AM   #11
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because they lost their funding duh

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Old 11-18-2000, 02:28 AM   #12
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They could always divert funds from the little known "Department of Hiring 'Acceptable' Interns".
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:29 AM   #13
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i thought of another rule!!

just a tip noobies:

DON'T COME HERE AND TALK ABOUT GIRLS OR HOW TO GET GIRLS OR HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU. that will get closed before it even has a chance to warm up.
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Old 11-18-2000, 02:33 AM   #14
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but not until after Zargon and I rip you a new one TWICE.

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Old 11-18-2000, 01:14 PM   #15
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Now I know what that is.You guys are SICK!!!
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Old 11-18-2000, 05:38 PM   #16
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as a punk, i take nothing from no-one, but i don't suppose it would work here would it?
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Old 11-18-2000, 05:45 PM   #17
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Good work.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
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Old 11-18-2000, 05:56 PM   #18
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If you don't think I been around here long enough fine but you will like this rule.

15.)Newbies can never put down Old Timers.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
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Old 11-18-2000, 06:33 PM   #19
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16:Nute can never make rules because it would hurt peolple old and new and make Nute second in ruleing the Universe.

17:If anyone says there Milkshakes friend they will be dragged out and shot.

18:If anyone calls me a newbie I they will die a slow painful death but I won't let them die i'll keep them alive to torture them.



------------------
The Universe is just a fractal chaos boundry between intersecting lines of high and low power.
Cool huh?
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Old 11-18-2000, 06:44 PM   #20
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<font color="red">DISREGARD THE FOLLOWING RULES, I'M SURE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHY.</font>

19: NUTE IS A TARGET FOR WITTY COMMENTS ASWELL AS THE NEWBIES...

20; THE MORE POSTS YOU HAVE MAKE YOU HAVE A HIGHER RANK OVER SOMEONE WITH LESS

21; ALL PUNX ARE TO BE RESPECTED AS A VOLITILE CHEMICAL, NUTE IS TO BE TREATED AS AN UNPLEASENT ONE

------------------
I am the forum's pet cross dressing punk
(that everyone forgets to feed)

[This message has been edited by Darth Sceltor (edited November 20, 2000).]
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Old 11-18-2000, 07:11 PM   #21
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I'm advanced beyond all of you with the following exceptions:
Keyan, Andy, rosie, and anyone better than me at MATH

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Old 11-18-2000, 07:14 PM   #22
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Just so you people know, Sceltor and I are Sith, which means we will close down any and all stupid topics you newbies may start.

We also have the power to ban your worthless newbie ass if necessary. So shape up or ship out.

And janek, your rule number 20 stinks. That does not apply to everyone. Take me and Nute for example. He has waaay more posts than I, but that doesn't rank him higher than me. Another example would be Andy versus any other of you flaming newbies. You may surpass her in posts, but you will never surpass her in rank. <font size=1>You rock, Andy!!!</font> Same goes for Kyp and any others I've missed.

Got it?

<font size=1>Ooh, that felt real good. I should vent more often.</font>
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Old 11-18-2000, 07:14 PM   #23
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I know how to make 1 even and i'm not telling you.

------------------
The Universe is just a fractal chaos boundry between intersecting lines of high and low power.
Cool huh?
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Old 11-18-2000, 07:17 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rogue Nine:
Take me and Nute for example. He has waaay more posts than I, but that doesn't rank him higher than me.
The only thing you out rank me in is...uh...rank.

Fixed up my quote there and adds this: who's responsible for the introduction of Andy...

------------------

I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.

[This message has been edited by Nute Gunray (edited November 18, 2000).]
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Old 11-18-2000, 07:58 PM   #25
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22: All newbies must take my Basic and Advanced Insanity<font size=-2><sup>TM</sup></font> courses before posting...

(And, just as a precaution...)

23: Neither Zaarin nor Guen may make any further rules, in case the forums spontaneously burst into flames, explode, melt, etc...

------------------
And what of the Director's Lenses?

The logs show they fled the scene in a shuttle. That is all the information we have sir, there is a high probability that the shuttle was destroyed in the battle.

A shame.....but we'll buy George Lucas another pair of glasses.
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Old 11-18-2000, 09:02 PM   #26
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Thumbs down

These new rules suck.

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You know one thing that will really make a Jedi mad? Just run up and kick him in the ass...
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Old 11-18-2000, 10:35 PM   #27
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Thanks for jumping on that bogus rule 20, Nine. I was going to have to get a little rowdy with janek. I mean, there's about 5 people that still post here that registered before I did. Post count ain't all it's cracked up to be.

You're still the man though Nute, with your 5 gazillion posts or whatever it is...

------------------
"With the blast shield down, I can't even see. How am I supposed to fight?"

Rogue Leader 3
aceazzameen@yahoo.com
or manofstele@yahoo.com

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Old 11-18-2000, 10:45 PM   #28
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Post Count=Hit Points in the XWA FORAM RPG GAME.

That's why no one can kill me.

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Old 11-18-2000, 10:50 PM   #29
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what if someone got more post than you, could that person kill you?

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
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Old 11-18-2000, 10:50 PM   #30
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Arrow

He cheated
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Old 11-19-2000, 12:36 AM   #31
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If post count equalled rank all a Newbie would have to do is make alot of short post then they would then out rank people.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
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Old 11-19-2000, 01:03 AM   #32
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oh, let's just shoot the newbies. and janek, last i checked, aren't you one of milky's friends?

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
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Old 11-19-2000, 02:13 AM   #33
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I don't even know Milk if you mean me. I just came by these forums

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
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Old 11-19-2000, 03:00 AM   #34
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24: any newbie caught breaking these rules shall have to live in Nute's house for a year, a punishment dreded through out the universe.... mostly because of the SMELL.
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Old 11-19-2000, 03:14 AM   #35
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It doesn't smell here......

it only smells in my brother's room.

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Old 11-19-2000, 05:20 PM   #36
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25; pyromaniacs must be equally respected and should have their own rank depending on how many houses they've burnt down... ummm, that's sith lord for me!!!!!!

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(that everyone forgets to feed)
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Old 11-19-2000, 07:16 PM   #37
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.........

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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Old 11-19-2000, 09:00 PM   #38
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25. Jut because you have low post count does not make you a newbie, it also has to do with the way you act on the forums JANEK
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Old 11-19-2000, 09:07 PM   #39
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69: Idiots must DIE!!!!1

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You know one thing that will really make a Jedi mad? Just run up and kick him in the ass...
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Old 11-19-2000, 10:05 PM   #40
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Like PB's rule

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
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