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12-14-2006, 05:24 PM
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#41
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Argetlam
Join Date: Oct 2006
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So... maybe Freedon put part of his spirit in his body in the tomb, and Exar Kun missed that half of the spirit, therefor enabling Freedon ot train Revan. 
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12-14-2006, 09:16 PM
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#42
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Argetlam
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Chapter 5
"Master..." Elon said to Revan. "I sense a disturbance."
"Indeed? You are very strong... and at such a young age." Revan said to his new apprentice.
Elon smiled... happy that his new master was complimenting him.
"But do not over-estimate your powers, there is much going on that you don't know about..." Revan said.
Elon's smile dropped, and then he sat meditating.
Revan sensed a pending attack on Iziz, there was a huge city... so he and his new found apprentice took the Republic troopers to the city.
Meanwhile....
"Talia! Watch were your swinging that thing!" Valen said.
"Sorry Master!" Talia replied.
The Darkside flowed around both of them.... Talia killed thousands of Mandalorians, in one swipe of her lightsaber.
"Master.... I was.... wondering.... can you teach me anything more about the Force?" Talia asked.
"What is it you wish to know, Talia?" Valen asked, without taking his eyes off the Mandalorians running towards him.
"I want to know how to kill more enemies with the Force." Talia replied.
"Well you could always go with either one of my favorite Force powers.... Force Crush.... or Force Lightning." Valen said. "Force Crush will only allow you to kill one at a time, but it is very useful, especially since it can't be countered, nor resisted."
Revan's apprentice was standing over Malak, wearing a newly made Sith robe. His hood was pulled over his head, but he bore no mask. Malak woke up and saw the Sith standing over him, unaware of who he was he activated his lightsaber. Elon, or now the Sith Lord Darth Shylan, Force Choked the pathetic Jedi.
"Who... who.... who.... are.... you?" Malak asked, grabbing a hold of his neck.
"I am Darth Revan's apprentice, Darth Shylan!" Elon said. "And you are?"
"My name is Malak, I was Revan's apprentice before you!" Malak said.
"Ahhh.... here comes my master now..." Elon said sensing Revan coming closer.
"Ahhh.... Elon, I see you met my old apprentice?" Revan asked. "You may let him go... he will not harm you."
Malak deactivated his lightsaber, and Elon let go of the Malak's throat.
"Watch yourself Malak..." Elon said, glaring at him.
"ME? I am a Sith Lord... and you are a child!" Malak said.
"Master, can you please give me permission to kill this pathetic Loser?" Elon asked.
"Come with me, Elon..." Revan said.
"Yes, Master." Elon said.
The two left the room....
"Elon, I need Malak to help me destroy the Mandalorians, but then I will need him to help me find the Star Maps... and then you can kill him!" Revan said to his young and eager apprentice.
"Glad to hear it master...." Elon said.
"Now, why don't you go get some rest.... we'll talk later." Revan said.
"Yes, Milord!" Elon said, walking to his chambers.
Now for a way to keep Iziz safe.... Revan thought.
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12-14-2006, 09:23 PM
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#43
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Aa! Megami-sama!
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Nice fic...And Talia is a lightsaber wielder? Strange...She didn't use a Lightsaber in the game, esp. the duel w/Valku.
| Muunilinst 10 | Real Life | Exiled Jedi Weapon Master | Ex-Sith Marauder | Gunslinger |
Killed in a suicide attempt of ramming his own ship, Ravager, onto the surface of Telos IV. --Casualty Report: Order 66
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12-14-2006, 09:29 PM
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#44
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Argetlam
Join Date: Oct 2006
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She has.... lost it since the end of the Mando Wars, and forgot how to use the Force....
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12-15-2006, 01:06 AM
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#45
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Left and may not return
Join Date: Jan 2006
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It is possible CSI. Kyle Katarn gave up the ways of the Force, before JO. Anyway, good Chapter as always Anakin.
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12-15-2006, 02:01 AM
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#46
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Aa! Megami-sama!
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Eh, and good chapter as always, [Darn, howcome I forgot this?]
| Muunilinst 10 | Real Life | Exiled Jedi Weapon Master | Ex-Sith Marauder | Gunslinger |
Killed in a suicide attempt of ramming his own ship, Ravager, onto the surface of Telos IV. --Casualty Report: Order 66
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12-15-2006, 07:47 AM
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#47
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Argetlam
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Because you told me on MSN.... anyway thanks for the comments guy's.... this Fic has gotten farther than any of my other one's with out writer's block.... so wish me luck.
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12-15-2006, 12:00 PM
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#48
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Left and may not return
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Anakin Skywalker
Because you told me on MSN.... anyway thanks for the comments guy's.... this Fic has gotten farther than any of my other one's with out writer's block.... so wish me luck.
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Don't jinx it! Anyway, I'm looking foward to more Chapters and you've done better than my Mandalorian Wars Fic I did ages ago.
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12-15-2006, 06:49 PM
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#49
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Sydney Roosters Genius
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Nicely written. Looking forward to more. 
Yes
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12-19-2006, 11:36 AM
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#50
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HK47+Marvin=
Join Date: Jun 2006
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Good fic Anakin also about Elon isn't Revan's last name Skywalker?
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12-19-2006, 11:42 AM
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#51
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Junior Member
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Not necessarily
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12-19-2006, 12:57 PM
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#52
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Argetlam
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Darth Grivis
Good fic Anakin also about Elon isn't Revan's last name Skywalker?
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I don't think Revan being a Skywalker is such a good idea, I do not believe Anakin and Revan were related....
@Anglu(below me)
I haven't worked on The Mando Wars while LF was down, because, I wasn't sure how long LF was going to be down.
Last edited by Anakin Skywalker; 12-19-2006 at 03:53 PM.
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12-19-2006, 03:38 PM
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#53
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Rookie
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Nah, that would be too easy...
In my fic, Revan's last name is Syrtis, but I'm not sure if I'll change it..
And where's the next chapter??
There's no life before coffee...
And if you find any mistakes of writing, typing or translating, you may keep them.
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12-19-2006, 07:37 PM
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#54
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Sydney Roosters Genius
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That's what I did Anakin. LF was down but I didn't do anything on my fic. Meh.
Yes
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12-20-2006, 02:09 PM
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#55
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Rookie
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@Anakin: Okay. This question wasn't meant that serious.. ;-) I just want to know youw your story continues.
There's no life before coffee...
And if you find any mistakes of writing, typing or translating, you may keep them.
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12-22-2006, 02:37 PM
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#56
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Argetlam
Join Date: Oct 2006
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Chapter 6
Revan, Arren, Valen, Kreia, Malak, Talia, and Elon all stood above Malachor V.
"Valen, Talia, and Elon... all three of you are going down to Malachor's surface.... Kreia, Malak, and I are going to scout out this planet's natural resources for the Republic." Revan said.... "Arren you stay here, until I get back."
Valen, Talia, and Elon went to the surface as they were commanded by Revan. Elon, and Talia's purple blades were ignited, but Valen's double bladed Orange was not.
"Master is there a problem?" Talia asked.
"Problem... problem... YES! There is, I just remembered we need to get off of Malachor's surface!" Valen replied.
"But Valen, Malachor reminds me of Dantooine, the lush gardens, the grass, the Iriaz, and the Kath Hounds." Elon said.
"You don't understand, Malachor is going to become a Graveyard!" Valen said scooping up Valen and Talia and taking them to his shuttle, by the time they were up at the capital ship, Bao-Dur had started the Mass Shadow Generator.
Half the planet blew to smitherines, and the other half all that was left were HUGE rocks and boulders. From the Mass Shadow Generator, came forth Beasts of Terror and darkness, Storm Beasts. Revan returned to the ship, and found that Mandalore was taken prisoner.
"Take him down to Malachor V, I will deal with him and the other Mandalorians there." Revan said.
Even though the Mandalorians on Malachor were dead, the Mandalorians didn't give up. Thousands of troops rained from the ships and began to battle what remained of the Republic's forces.
There were two Mandalorian Generals left, one's name was Canderous Ordo, the other one was Mandalore himself, but he was captured by Revan. Canderous set out to free the captive Mandalore, but when he saw Revan walking up to Mandalore, he sent a battalion of troops to fight the battle for him.... he knew Revan would kill him, if he went to fight him.
Revan tossed a double-vibro sword at Mandalore, "You will fight me, and the winner will declare the Galaxy his."
Mandalore picked it up and ran towards Revan, but Revan just moved to the side, and the sword cut Mandalore's leg. He screamed in pain.
Revan ignited his own double-bladed red lightsaber, and charged at Mandalore, the Mandalorian dodged a few blows, but then at when Mandalore thought he could get Revan and kill him, Revan Force Choked him and then quickly sliced off his head. Revan bent down and picked up Mandalore's helmet and shoved it in his inventory pack. He just realized that a few Mandalorians were charging him, but he killed them easily with Force Lightning.
Revan went back to his ship and found Arren Kae in pain. "Arren what is it?"
But before she could reply, a droid came into the room and shooed Revan out. About two hours later, Revan heard a baby crying... What the... Revan thought.
He walked in the room to find his wife dead, but a baby girl in the droids arms. Revan took the girl from the droid, and stared at her. The little girl had silver hair, like her father, but the facial features of her mother. "Brianna..." Revan said.
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12-22-2006, 02:50 PM
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#57
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Left and may not return
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Good Chapter as always Anakin.
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12-22-2006, 07:24 PM
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#58
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Argetlam
Join Date: Oct 2006
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Epilogue
Revan was building a droid, when his daughter Brianna walked in.
"Yes, what is it?" Revan asked.
Brianna said nothing, but her expression said it all.
"The Jedi are looking for a way to reach the Star Forge." Revan said.
Brianna shook her head, and her long silver hair was slapping Revan in the face until she stopped.
"Daddy, Malak won't leave me alone." She finally said.
"What do you mean?" Revan asked.
"He keeps telling me that I'm weak, that I don't know anything about battle." Brianna continued. "But, I have a special ability, an ability that not even you have...."
"What? What ability?" Revan asked.
"Battle Meditation... I can use it to stop the Republic." Brianna said.
Revan was shocked, his daughter had Battle Meditation, like Bastila, and he didn't even know it. Her connection to the Force was just as strong as his and Arren's combined. Which in retrospect was very, very powerful.
The Force was getting Darker by the minute.... as Malak approached.
"Your daughter is weak Revan!" Malak said.
But Brianna had enough, she sought aid from the Force, and Force Choked the dumb apprentice, and then shot Force Lightning at him, making him scream in pain.
"Weak am I, then why can I feel no pain, and you can?" Brianna said, laughing.
"Let him go..." Revan said.
Brianna did as she was told, and then ran off to her room aboard the Star Forge.
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12-22-2006, 10:09 PM
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#59
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Sydney Roosters Genius
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*Wipes tear from eye*
That was a great chapter and epilogue, kudos to you.
Yes
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12-22-2006, 10:18 PM
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#60
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Argetlam
Join Date: Oct 2006
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o.....k? I'm going to assume that was a compliment, so Thanks for the Compliment.... and you too Pottsie, both of ya'll thanks for the compliment
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12-23-2006, 12:01 AM
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#61
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Aa! Megami-sama!
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Nice chapter...So bad it had to end...But however it's a nice fiction and I'm looking forward to see more.
| Muunilinst 10 | Real Life | Exiled Jedi Weapon Master | Ex-Sith Marauder | Gunslinger |
Killed in a suicide attempt of ramming his own ship, Ravager, onto the surface of Telos IV. --Casualty Report: Order 66
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12-23-2006, 05:14 AM
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#62
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Left and may not return
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I agree. So bad it had to end. I think you're pulling a Pottsie. Anyway, I was glad to help and a bit off-topic, but CSI, I like the new Avatar.
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12-23-2006, 09:09 AM
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#63
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Argetlam
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Thank you both for the comments, but I'm going to working on the Chosen One, so look for chapter 1 anytime soon
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01-10-2007, 02:16 PM
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#64
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Rookie
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hmmm, so Revan has a daughter... Very interesting!
There's no life before coffee...
And if you find any mistakes of writing, typing or translating, you may keep them.
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