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Old 01-18-2007, 02:35 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2007
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[Short Fic] Puns

Please keep in mind that I did this in about forty minutes. So bear with me if you find any mistakes etc.

Oh, and can you answer the riddle in the end?


Mr. Williams, a fifth form teacher, was entering the classroom. He was in his late fifties and dressed the same way. However, his tweed-happy dressing style didn’t seam to have any effect on his popularity with his fifth form pupils.
With him he brought a book. He had promised the pupils a story the day before, if they behaved.
“Good morning class” Mr. Williams said smiling.
“Good morning Mr. Williams” the class replied unanimously.
“Today, I’m going to read you a story about puns” Mr. Williams said. A scheming smile could be read from his eyes, but none of the pupils noticed it.
“Ponds!” Harry Watson yelled, forgetting to raise his hand. “You promised us as story about something cool like dragons and stuff like that!”
“Or a princess trapped in a castle with really long hair that the prince can…” Little Miss Molly Jenkins said, but was quickly interrupted by Mr. Williams who raised his hands.
“Please be quiet” he said.
Several of the pupils sat with their arms crossed and disappointed faces. But the classroom was silent.
“The story is about a knight who is going to rescue a princess” Mr. Williams said.
“Why is he going to rescue her – Girls are stupid” Thomas McMillan said.
“They are not!” Several of the girls began.
“Be quiet!” Mr. Williams said with a raised voice.
“But what does that have to do with ponds” Harry Watson asked.
“You will see” Mr. Williams said.

He cleared his throat and began. The silent classroom was only audible by the enchanting voice of Mr. Williams. In the pupils’ minds, his words conjured up dragons, heroism, wizards and a captured princess.
His words enthralled them into another world; a secondary world that only can be found in the magic world of fantasy.
The pupils sat mesmerized as the brave knight fought the evil wizards, as he avoided bolts of lightning and magic fire. He solved riddles and in the end he fought an enormous black dragon.
And when the dragon sent a column of lethal fire against the courageous knight and his valiant steed, the dreamy-eyed girls in the classroom screamed, the boys gasped and cheered as the knight’s lance was charged into the heart of the dragon, leaving the knight covered in blood and gore.
The dragon died by the hand of the knight who didn’t waste a minute. Quickly he ran up the stairs to the tower where the princess was held captive. The girls squealed in delight, the boys groaned at the possibility of romance.

“At the foot of the tower there were two doors” Mr. Williams said. “Above them hanged a sign which read ‘Choose the right door, or you will die’” he continued.
“Oh no!” Molly Jenkins cried. How will he know which door is the right one?

“That is a pun, and that is your homework for tomorrow” Mr. Williams said laughing.
“What do you mean by ‘that is a pond’?” Thomas McMillan asked, as a puzzled expression adorned his face.
“Firstly, you need to look up the word ‘pun’ in your dictionaries” Mr. Williams said, and wrote the word on the blackboard.
“Secondly, you need to find out which door he should choose. Only then will I give you the rest of the story”.

Currently working on: [Fic] Honour Bound
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