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Old 02-16-2012, 05:47 PM   #3641
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Because of your programming, to you that is how we all appear. We're in the foundry now. Your master is next.

Who gives a $*** about bigfoot?


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 02-17-2012, 04:20 AM   #3642
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His proctologist, maybe?

What if Red Foreman kicked you and monkeys flew out your butt?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 02-18-2012, 06:31 AM   #3643
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Well, butt monkeys fly out of butts. Must have done a sideways heel kick to make me **** my pants while I was drunk and passed out. Cheap shot.

What if Lloyd inadvertently wrecked his taxi limo into your car and left the scene?


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Old 02-18-2012, 12:06 PM   #3644
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He'd be doing it on a stretcher (either for an ambulance or hearse....makes no difference. ).

What if Beavis and Butthead tried to sell combustible lemonaid?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 02-18-2012, 02:06 PM   #3645
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I wouldn't know that unless I was buying it in person.


What if Police Gorillas threw molotov cocktails at threads before I could call them?


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Old 02-26-2012, 12:12 PM   #3646
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Regardless of what type of thread you mean, that scenario makes no sense.

Would it be pretentious for me to declare myself the Master of Bad Advice?

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Old 03-02-2012, 12:30 AM   #3647
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Not necessarily.


Dammit, why can't you people let me make love in a dumpster without having to disturb me over something trivial?


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Old 04-30-2012, 10:12 PM   #3648
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Because you can't do it quietly.

Is calling Snooki a Feral Oompa Loompa a fair assessment?

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Old 04-30-2012, 11:22 PM   #3649
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HELL NO! Oompas disowned her long ago...that might as well be an insult to Oompa Loompas everywhere! BTW I wouldn't say things like that in the presence of dwarves and other little people, you never know if they're around a corner behind counters and cabinets.


...Where's this somewheresville people keep referring to in Sim City...?


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Old 05-01-2012, 01:46 AM   #3650
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Somewhere, naturally.

What if the world jacks you back?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-01-2012, 02:23 AM   #3651
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The world jacks anyone and everyone. For any reason, every reason, no reason. At any time. Every time. The question is...


Who jacked the car jack?


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Old 05-09-2012, 09:39 AM   #3652
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Some guy named Jack.

Is this an oud?

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Old 05-18-2012, 02:22 AM   #3653
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Depends whether you're parking a red corvette in the parking garage between 3:30 AM and 5:30 AM on either a tuesday or a thursday...or you just so happen to have a gray beard in the yellow zone. (Memory of some really absurd "The Far Side" comic...or lack thereof)

Who are all these pricks anyways? Lawyer pricks...rug wearing pricks...I'm surrounded by pricks!


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Old 05-18-2012, 04:28 AM   #3654
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Well, you know the old saying......you're known by the company you keep.

If I ask your uncle, will he really tell me how stupid your mom is?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-25-2012, 01:42 AM   #3655
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Good luck getting any response, he died of a massive heart attack 11 years ago.
R.I.P.

Why couldn't Zombies Ate My Neighbors have gotten a better sequel?


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Old 05-25-2012, 11:19 PM   #3656
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**** in, **** out. 'nough said.

Will Joe Biden ever NOT be an ass?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-26-2012, 04:21 PM   #3657
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Of course not, he's a politician.

If there's a fire, who should I email about it?

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Old 05-26-2012, 11:09 PM   #3658
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Just three people.......anybody, everybody and nobody, in no particular order.

Do girls really exist on the internetz?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-27-2012, 02:13 AM   #3659
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^^^Yes, but we choose not to believe they do...at least without evidence. Most of the time if there are REAL girls on the internet, they likely resemble Jabba the F***ing Hutt.


Did you wake up grumpy?


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Old 05-27-2012, 11:50 AM   #3660
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Not really, no.

How many potential murder weapons are present in a standard fast food restaurant?

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Old 05-28-2012, 02:36 AM   #3661
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I think a better question to ask is how many potential murder weapons aren't there in a std. fastfood restaurant, to which the answer is few if any. Your question being opposite, answer is opposite.


Does anybody else here have a pair of red "Body Rage" sunglasses from Spencer's? These things kick ass, just make sure you superglue the bolts that hold on the nose cushions becausr the mini-screw has no bolt to hold it in.
Can't seem to find any images of them either.


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Old 05-28-2012, 09:50 PM   #3662
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No. I tend to avoid Spencer's.

How is putting dirt in a cup a scientific experiment?


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Old 05-29-2012, 02:05 AM   #3663
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Depends if that's it or if there are other steps involved.


YOU JACKASS! What the F$%# did you do this time?!


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Old 05-29-2012, 09:39 AM   #3664
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I have no idea.

Does DA have anger management issues?

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Old 05-29-2012, 09:55 AM   #3665
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Nah, he just thinks he's tourettes guy.

Is the Dali Lama a crypto nazi?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-29-2012, 11:25 AM   #3666
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Probably not. Nazis are rarely that mellow.

Isn't the Dalai Lama also a painting of a Llama done in the style of Salvador Dali?

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Old 05-29-2012, 02:02 PM   #3667
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Wrong Lama; otherwise, it could have been.


Isn't that the correct answer?

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Old 05-29-2012, 02:43 PM   #3668
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No, this is.

Is EA merely misunderstood?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-29-2012, 02:51 PM   #3669
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Allow me to answer your question with a question:

Will we ever be able to understand idiots?

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Old 05-30-2012, 04:32 AM   #3670
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We already do. Problem is that we just keep trying to comprehend them as being more than what they really are. That and if there wasn't stupid, there'd be no interesting stories to tell.

Is there a numerical difference between a rickroll and a barrel roll?


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 05-30-2012, 04:37 AM   #3671
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Probably about as much as a nickleback and a nicklebag.

Can we look later?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-30-2012, 04:47 AM   #3672
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Only if we can divide by zero.

Does time matter to Emperor Vitiate?


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Old 05-30-2012, 05:02 AM   #3673
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Only if you're wasting his.

Do you want to be a rock'n roll star?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-30-2012, 03:09 PM   #3674
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No, I don't want to be that.


Why do some people think Windows 8 will be another Vista?

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Old 05-30-2012, 05:02 PM   #3675
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Because it fits the pattern.

Would giving iPhones a freely accessible file system like Android phones be such a bad idea?

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Old 05-30-2012, 07:02 PM   #3676
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Only if it becomes as messy or inconsistent as some androids with certain apps. Otherwise it seems .......okay.

Why did Danny tell you to go to hell?


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Old 05-30-2012, 10:49 PM   #3677
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B/c he thought I was you.

Where in the hell is hell anyway?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:44 PM   #3678
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Hell if I know.



If someone told you he was a chronic liar, would you believe him?


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 05-31-2012, 03:39 AM   #3679
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I'd be skeptical either way. Depends what I actually know of him.


If you're here, then who was on the phone?


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Old 05-31-2012, 09:14 PM   #3680
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My evil twin.


What happens when I divide the space-time continuum by 0?

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