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Old 02-24-2007, 06:55 PM   #1
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[FIC]{AU}Star Wars: The Loss of the Capital


STAR WARS

The Loss of the Capital

Prologue


3 years have passed since the devastating Order 66. The Jedi discovered Quinlan’s betrayal immediately after the arrival of Owen Kenobi’s son but did not act quick enough to find Padme and the children before Vos did. Vader and Vos disappeared after the capture, and have not been heard from since. There were rumors the Vader had traveled to Zonama Sekot and further investigated the disappearance of Jedi Knight Vergere. Another rumor is that he is secretly massing an army that will capture Coruscant. The Jedi tried to learn where these rumors were coming from but failed.

Now a strange ship is found at a small area of Coruscant called the works. The jedi investigate it finding it was made of Coil. The Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Von Made, having fought along side each other for 3 years, are ready to investigate further...


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Old 02-25-2007, 04:07 AM   #2
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Nice start Saruman. I'm looking foward to this and when this is finished, will you post both parts together in a Finished Thread?
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Old 02-25-2007, 07:26 AM   #3
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I might like this one. I can't really say more for now, seeing as it's just a small prelude


"The beauty and genius of a work of film may be reconceived, though its first material expression be destroyed; a vanished fiction may yet again inspire the screenplay-writer; but when the last individual of a race of living directors, of artists, breathes no more, another heaven and another earth must pass before such a one can be again." -William Beebe, modified in memorial of the twentieth century

Su'cuy, vod, kar'laylirdarasuum me'suum!

Star Wars: The Plastic Director's Cut!
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Old 02-26-2007, 05:04 PM   #4
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Chapter 1: Army

Darth Vader stood on board one of the Yuuzhan Vong’s Wordship. The Vong Supreme Overlord Shimrra Jamaane stood in beside him as they watched the Vong fleet prepare to jump into hyperspace.

“We did not plan to attack the infields this early,” Shimrra told him sneering.

“They do not expect an attack,” Vader told him for the hundredth time. “Now is the best time.”

“What about this Von Made you told me about, what if he kills you? He is trained in Jeedai ways.”

“I have a plan to get Von and Kenobi out of my way,”

“Good,”

Vader ignored the Vong and stared back out at all the Worldships, Coralskippers, and Dovin basals as they jumped back into the galaxy Vader had been born in.

**********

Von Made and Obi-Wan Kenobi stood wide eyed staring at the strange ship. They had researched on it for hours but had no success.

Obi-Wan sighed. “I guess we have to get a new assignment, this one is impossible.”

Von nodded in agreement. “You’re right, but-”

“Actually you are still on this mission,” A stern voice said behind the.

Von knew who it was before he turned. “Welcome back Plo Koon.” Plo had been on a long mission to the planet Kashyyyk to bring a wookie name Lowbacca to the temple for training. They had run into a fleet of pirates stalling them.

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow. “Do you know something?”

“I learned on Kashyyyk that another ship like this was spotted on Togoria but this time a pilot was seen fleeing into the Canyons.”

“So you want us to go there find the pilot, interrogate him, and bring him back here, with all force necessary.”

“In a way-” Plo started.

“As you wish,” Obi-Wan said quickly. With that he walked toward the spaceport signaling for Von to follow.

Von looked at Plo's puzzled face. Then Plo looked at him as if asking him “What’s up with him.”

“Don’t ask me,” Von told him as he ran off after Kenobi.


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Old 02-26-2007, 09:02 PM   #5
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Mace Windu is dead.
???


"The beauty and genius of a work of film may be reconceived, though its first material expression be destroyed; a vanished fiction may yet again inspire the screenplay-writer; but when the last individual of a race of living directors, of artists, breathes no more, another heaven and another earth must pass before such a one can be again." -William Beebe, modified in memorial of the twentieth century

Su'cuy, vod, kar'laylirdarasuum me'suum!

Star Wars: The Plastic Director's Cut!
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Old 02-26-2007, 09:12 PM   #6
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Opps, I was thinking of MAce at the time, its supposed to be PLo Koon...

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Old 02-27-2007, 12:40 AM   #7
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Good first Chapter Saruman and it is nice to see Plo Koon again (I never see him much in Fics). Looking foward to more. Also Relenzo2, there is another Fic set before this of Saruman's called The Jedi Purge's Failure, if you haven't read it already.
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Old 02-27-2007, 07:31 AM   #8
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Okay then. But interesting start, keep on.


"The beauty and genius of a work of film may be reconceived, though its first material expression be destroyed; a vanished fiction may yet again inspire the screenplay-writer; but when the last individual of a race of living directors, of artists, breathes no more, another heaven and another earth must pass before such a one can be again." -William Beebe, modified in memorial of the twentieth century

Su'cuy, vod, kar'laylirdarasuum me'suum!

Star Wars: The Plastic Director's Cut!
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Old 03-08-2007, 07:33 PM   #9
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Chapter 2: Dathomir


Darth Avarus stood aboard the Star Destroyer called the Errant Venture. The Star Destroyer was stolen from a Pirate who claimed to have got it near an Imperial rebel station. He watched as one by one Dovin Basals and Worldships jumped out of hyperspace to meet the Imperial fleet and the red Destroyer. Slowly Avarus turned to face the View screen. Darth Vader’s hooded face was there.

“My Master,” Avarus nodded to Vader in acknowledgment.

“Lord Avarus,” Vader said in return.

“Is plan Dathomir ready?”

“Indeed it is,” Vader told him.

“If it is succeed, the Nightsisters will be a great help.”

“There is no if,” Vader told him as his face faded away.


The attack had started. Coralskippers and Tie Fighters blasted there way through the forests leaving the trees either scorched severely, or destroying them completely. The Nightsisters had been giving up quite a fight, but they knew they had lost. Vader observed all of this as he walked through the part of the forest that he had ordered not to be attacked. Then he saw his target in front of him.

“Who are you?” Gethzerion, leader of the Nightsisters, sneered.

“The one, who brought this battle here,” Vader responded calmly.

“Why are you here?” Gethzerion asked.

“To tell you why we attacked and how we can make a deal,”

“Continue,”

“We attacked because we need you on our side of the upcoming war. But I knew you’d refuse. But now you are in need of a new planet,” Vader said gesturing to the ruins of the forest. “We can give you that and a lot more.”

“How much more is that?” Geth asked.

“Room to live in the whole galaxy,” Vader responded.
“I see…” Geth said considering. “What do we have to do?”

“Help us take that galaxy,”

“And if we fail?”

“The remaining Sisters will be moved to the smaller second galaxy.”

“Deal.” Geth said as she turned to the others. “But what of the Nightsisters you killed, who were in the forest?” She said not facing him.

“Actually only on died, the others are in a Star Destroyer.”

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Old 03-09-2007, 01:08 AM   #10
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A bit too much dialogue, but it was a good Chapter overall. Looking foward to more.
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Old 03-09-2007, 07:27 PM   #11
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Chapter 3: Plan Taris


Darth Vader stood on his apprentice’s ship The Errant Venture beside Geth. The quick battle of Dathomir had been a success, not only did the night sisters join them but the Republic was not aware of the take over. The day only had one flaw: Geth has changed the plan of his next attack. Originally Vader had planed to the planet Ithor, but Geth had forced him to attack Taris and Avarus had agreed with her.

“The republic would notice Ithor being taken,” he had said. “Taris is mostly in ruins, it will fall as easy as Dathomir.”

Now the Star Destroyer was in hyperspace along with the rest of the fleet heading for Taris.


The small shuttle approached the planet Togoria. Its stowaways were ready to leap out and complete their mission. Obi-Wan was wedged in between Von and a cargo box.

“This is rough,” Obi-Wan complained.

“Would you rather by in a-” Von started and ended as a jerk shook the ship.

“I think we’ve landed,” Obi-Wan told him.

Von nodded and ignited his lightsaber with a snap-hiss. Sparks flew as he slowly peeled back the metal on the ship forming a hole. Silently Von slipped out followed by Obi-Wan. They quickly ran through the dark heading toward the “Off-Bound” Canyon the Alien had hidden in. Suddenly Von fell to the ground.

Von could see the galaxy. He could see all the Republic planets in peace. Then his view suddenly zoomed in on Dathomir. He could see a fleet suddenly arrive at the planet. Star Destroyers moved in on the planet, followed by hundreds of the strange looking ships and others. Time sped up and he could feel the planet had been slaughtered, taken from the Republic. Suddenly the fleet was gone, only a few ships left behind. His view shifted, focusing on the planet Taris. The fleet appeared zooming in on it...

Light flooded Von’s eyes as he suddenly awoke up. It was no longer night he realized.

“Glad your awake,” Obi-Wan’s voice filled his head.

“What happened?” Von asked.

“You tell me, you went out cold.”

“I saw a vision something about the planets Dathomir, and Taris. There was a fleet, it attacked Dathomir, and moved on to Taris.

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Old 03-10-2007, 01:13 AM   #12
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Another good Chapter Saruman. You seem to be posted Chapters a lot more now. Keep it up, but keep the quality of the Fic up.
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Old 03-20-2007, 04:25 PM   #13
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Chapter 4: Ground: Taris


After the capture of the Republic space station above Taris, a small group of stormtroopers were sent to clear a path for the main invasion.

Daric LaRone blasted a Republic trooper off a nearby turret. The stormtrooper moved to the side as a blaster bolt flew past him. LaRone ran forward, laser blasts coming from his blaster as he ran. He leapt on top of an IFT-X Republic tank and quickly unclipped a thermal detonator from his belt. Without thinking LaRone opened the hatch to the tank and threw the detonator in. He ran off the tank and watched as it exploded in flames. LaRone hated how he and his friends always just killed people. In this case it was okay, but normally they just killed people without even knowing if they are enemies. He needed to consider resigning, he thought.

Darth Avarus slashed his lightsaber through the flesh of a republic solider. He leapt his lightsaber swinging, dropping a few bodies. He landed in front of the republic captain. Avarus heard a frightened scream from the captain as his lightsaber moved about an inch from the captain’s face. Avarus stared in the captain’s eyes, reading the defeat. A second later the face of the captain was gone.

Taris had been captured easily. Not a single Republic Solider had survived. But Vader had had enough of this secret attacking.

“We must deal a crushing blow to the Republic,” Vader announced.

“So soon?” Avarus commented. “If we have enough planets before they know about us then they would be overwhelmed.”

Vader rounded on Avarus, “I have recently learned that two Jedi Starfighters are approaching Taris. I since in them are Kenobi and Made, are cover will be blown.”

“How did they find out? Avarus asked surprised.

“I don’t know but they do,”

“Capture them. Leave an army on Taris when they land.”

“I will try, but if they escape the cause is over.”

1 day later

Vader’s fleet jumped into orbit above the planet Geonosis. Vader had chosen this target because of the jedi outpost trying to discover how Darth Sidious had originated. And they were close, very close. Vader was ready to strike a critical blow to the Republic, so now with Kenobi and Made in his grasp he would do just that.

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Old 03-20-2007, 05:24 PM   #14
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Haven't read in a bit, had to catch up. Couple spelling errors but otherwise good. I was, howeverm under the impression that Obi-won was dead too (and you should fix the first). Unless this is a differemt Obi-wan, as maybe the original was spelled with an O, and not an A.


"The beauty and genius of a work of film may be reconceived, though its first material expression be destroyed; a vanished fiction may yet again inspire the screenplay-writer; but when the last individual of a race of living directors, of artists, breathes no more, another heaven and another earth must pass before such a one can be again." -William Beebe, modified in memorial of the twentieth century

Su'cuy, vod, kar'laylirdarasuum me'suum!

Star Wars: The Plastic Director's Cut!
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Old 03-20-2007, 05:50 PM   #15
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The original Obi-Wan was spelled with an A, this one who is the orginal is spelled with an A. There is no second one. In this series Obi-Wan is alive, please look at this duology's first installment located on my sig, just click the picture. it explains this is a AU story, that makes Order 66 and the Jedi Purge a failure. Thanks for reading btw, but it is recomended to read the first in the series before the second.

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Old 03-20-2007, 10:55 PM   #16
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I am proud to announce that my upcoming short fic is my 25th fic. Thank you to every one who has read them and commented or both. And a special thanks to Topsite who has replied to all of them ecxept of cource the March contest one and the one yet to be released. Thank You. Heres a list of the fics

Darth Grivis Fics Released on LF

1. Star Wars: Darth Yoda 1: The Power of the Dark Side
2. Star Wars: Darth Yoda 2: The Dark Civil War
3. Star Wars: Gizor Dellso's Victory
4. Star Wars: Hunger of the Force
5. Star Wars: The Battles in the Unknown Regions
6. Star Wars: The Dark Trooper Project
7. Star Wars: The Early Path of Jaden
8. Star Wars: The Path to Darkness
9. Star Wars: The Rise of Darth Plagues
10. Star Wars: The Rise of Desann
11. Star Wars: The Rise of Xanatos
12. Star Wars: The Survivors of the Battle
13. Star Wars: The War of the Dead
14. Star Wars: The Way of Bendak Starkiller
15. Star Wars: The Way of Corruption and the Rise of Tyber Zann's Empire
16. The Jedi Order
17. The Sith Order
18. The Way of Darth Vorges
19. Star Wars: The Jedi Purge's Failure
20. Star Wars: Revealed
21. Star Wars: The Fight is Over
22. Star Wars: Once Slave Now Emperor (25th fic)

Under Construction

23. Star Wars: The Loss of the Capital
24. Secret March Contest fic
25. Star Wars: Past Secrets


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Old 03-21-2007, 08:18 AM   #17
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Okey-dokey, ARTICHOKE, and that's quite a little list you have there.


"The beauty and genius of a work of film may be reconceived, though its first material expression be destroyed; a vanished fiction may yet again inspire the screenplay-writer; but when the last individual of a race of living directors, of artists, breathes no more, another heaven and another earth must pass before such a one can be again." -William Beebe, modified in memorial of the twentieth century

Su'cuy, vod, kar'laylirdarasuum me'suum!

Star Wars: The Plastic Director's Cut!
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Old 03-21-2007, 12:03 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Relenzo2
Okey-dokey, ARTICHOKE, and that's quite a little list you have there.
Agreed. Thanks for mentioning me on your Sig and congrats on writing over twenty Fics. Good Chapter as always too and I'm looking foward to more.
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