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Old 09-05-2007, 12:25 PM   #1
Someone's Worse Nightmare
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[Fic] Desperate Times, Desperate People

Desperate Times, Desperate People

Is a good person who's done bad things, in reality a bad person or mealy a good person who is on the wrong path.

Enin Eugor was once a good man, he wished for nothing but to live comfortable with his family by his side and for a time that is exactly what he had. He married very young at the age of 20, too young for the liking of his parents but he was very happy with Nirinda living in their small cottage on Dantooine. Nothing but fields and farmland surrounded their peaceful home where they lived off the land eating what they grew and selling what was left.

When Enin felt he could not be any happier his wife announced her pregnancy and he found himself in jumping for joy. This however was short lived when the clone wars begun, war spread across the galaxy and for a time seemed to ignore the little farming world. Alas it did not and soon the droid armies struck the world.

They began to subjugate the people taking all the strong men and women while killing those who could not serve the armies needs. Enin was strong, Niranda was not, and they made him watch as the battle droids emotionlessly killed the women he loved and their unborn child.

He worked the fields with sorrow in his heart and hatred in his veins, anger growing with each passing day until the clones came, a year too late. The clones liberated the world, saved the survivors but soon the war ended and the clones left the people to their world.

The war that was not his own caused Enin Eugor to lose everything he had including his home his wife and his child. Left with nothing he did contemplate ending it all, finding a high cliff and just jumping to the oblivion he now saw before him. When it came to going through with it, he could not just end it.

He was a desperate man and lived in desperate times, so he did desperate things to survive. He had nothing, not even a future of any worth and that’s what caused him to make the worst decision of his life.

The imperials came to Dantooine one day and offered what the people of the world need more than anything else; hope for the future. They gave the people the opportunity to join the Imperial Navy, become one of the Galaxy protectors. The imperials fed on this desperation left in the Separatists wake and Enin was one who had little choice but to join them.

For a time Enin’s life was good once again. He was fed, clothed and sheltered by the Empire. He was a good soldier, he followed orders and showed initiative when he had to, and this led to him to enter the office-training program.

He was force fed the Imperial propaganda and truly believed the empire was a force for good in the galaxy. He truly believed that he would be apart of the solution for bringing peace to the galaxy and help protect it from tragedies that had befallen his life.

Then came his graduation day from the academy, he was so proud of himself, top of his class and already assigned as a lieutenant to one of the Imperial Capital ships. After the Ceremony he returned to his dorm room and saw his fellow student and friend already packing for his assignments.

“Hey Enin, so where did the ‘wonder boy’ get assigned.” Yakowt Kramrats asked as he placed his spare uniform in his military issue case.

“The Sundown, It’s an old Venator class left over from the clone Wars.”

“Snap.” Lieutenant Kramrats announced. “I’ve been assigned to the Stormtrooper Group onboard.”

“I’m on the Bridge, Assigned to Comms and sensors.”

Kramrats and Eugor had been friends since they were both assigned the same dorm room at the Carida Academy. They were both placed on the officer training program and had engaged in friendly competition whenever they were tested. Together the two lieutenants managed to surpass all their follow officer candidates. They spent many nights talking about the Empire, the senate, rebellions and all many of military policy.

Over time they both, like everyone else, heard rumors of the Imperial Xenophobia and the subjugation of the alien worlds. Enin just took them as they were rumors but he noticed that his roommate and friend seemed to be more inclined to believing them. Lieutenant Eugor wasn’t concerned by this, he knew that his friend was loyal to the imperial, as he was now.

“Hey can I talk to you about something, off the record.” Kramrats asked closing his case.

“Sure, anything at all.” Enin replied reaching under his bunk and pulling out a pre-packed case.

“Did you hear what happened to those freighters in the outer rim?” The lieutenant asked sitting down on to his bunk.

“The story on the Holonet news.” Enin asked in return getting a simple nod from his friend in return. “The freighters were carrying terrorists and several Tons of high yield proton explosive, they planned flying into the middle of a fleet and detonating them. Admiral Nevets uncovered this and successfully destroyed them before they could kill millions.”

“Yeah, that’s the story.” Kramrats agreed. “But I’ve heard there weren’t explosive on board just Refugees.”

“Oh come on an imperial admiral wouldn’t give the order unless he was one hundred percent certain.” Lieutenant Eugor argued. “It’s just propaganda those rebel factions are spreading to turn people against the empire.”

“I suppose your right.”

Soon after the time came for them to board their shuttle and begin their long journey to the outer rim. The Sundown was currently assigned to the 5th imperial fleet under the command of Admiral Nevets, the fleet was trying to crackdown on the smuggling activities that had become rampant in the clone wars three years ago.

Currently the fleet had begun to blockade the planet of Kaldokai where it was believed many smugglers operated from. Kaldokai was not apart of the Empire as it never joined the Republic, its citizens wanted to stay independent from the Galaxy and only had minimal contact with other species. The Kaldo were both deeply religious and militarized, both these sides of their society where intertwined with each other and politics.

The Kaldo had force sensitive much like other species in the Galaxy but due to the separation from the rest of the galaxy they would not become Jedi. Instead Kaldo force Sensitive became Clerics, These Clerics Led their Culture in all aspect of religion, military and politics. They were not followers of the Light Side nor would they be considered dark, they remained in the middle choosing neutrality.

The small shuttle landing within the old clone wars ship that had been repainted to show the signs and colors of the Imperial Navy. Both the new recruits stepped out and were honored to be met than none other than the ships commanding officer Captain Arsaj. She was well renounced through the imperial ranks, known for managing to clime the ranks quicker than any other Officer that had joined the empire previously.

“Lieutenant Eugor and Kramrats, I’m Captain Arsaj.” She introduced. “If you do what I say without arguments and efficiently you will find yourself in my good graces and climbing the ranks. If you don’t you’ll find I can be quite unforgiving and ruthless. Clear.”

“Yes Sir!” Both new Officers said in Unison.

“Good.” She smiled. “I’m glad to have you on born, I’ve heard good things about you.”

“Thank you Sir!” Kramrats replied proud of him self.

“I was talking to Lieutenant Eugor.” She said glaring at the other man causing him to become nervous.

“Err, Thank you Sir.” Eugor stepped in trying draw attention from his friend.

“Please report to your bunks and report for your duty shift promptly.” She ordered before turning and walking away from.

The two lieutenants walked off towards where they would be calling home while on the ship, Enin had been assigned quarters that were near the command deck while Kramrats had been ordered to the officer bunks where the Stormtroopers slept.

Soon came the time for Enin to go on duty and he went to the bridge, he was put in charge of internal ship communications, If Captain Arsaj gave a command that was for another part of the ship he had to relay it. Most of these commands were simple power diversions or calling for technicians to repair something, he didn’t really have much to do, as things were quiet.

The blockade seemed to be successful, as no ships had even attempted to pass the imperials. Enin found his first shift quite boring and hoped his next one would be more interesting, but it wasn’t and nor was the one after that.

As Enin’s third day began to come to an end he walked towards a small gym area within the ship. He had arranged to meet his friend there, this was odd as the gym he had chose was one that was rarely used due to it’s closeness to the sewage recyclers. On arrival the lights were out and it was as he expected to be, completely deserted.

“ Yakowt, You here.” Enin called out.

“Yeah.” He replied stepping out of a dark corner of the room. “Did you come alone, were you followed?

“I don’t think so, what’s this all about?”

“I found something out and I’m planning on deserting.” He Stated.

“What? Are you serious? They shoot people for that.” Eugor replied obviously shocked.

“I know but I can’t stay here anymore.”

“What would make you want to leave?”

“My Stormtrooper group was assigned to protect Admiral Nevets along with two others while he visited the planets leaders.” He began. “We got there and we all filed into Their Cleric’s council hall to negotiate the end of the blockade. There was no mention of smuggling.”

“There had to been, why else would we be here?”

“Look the Kaldo refuse to join the Empire, they said something about it being ruled dark lords. Then the Admiral left them an Ultimatum, Join or they’ll bombard the entire planet.”

“That’s ridiculous, we can’t just wipe a planet out.”

“Think about, how many smugglers have you seen since we got here, Look at the formations, it’s not set up for a blockade, It’s set up for a bombardment.”

“Just because we show the dagger doesn’t mean we’ll use it.” Enin argued. “We learnt that at the academy.

“That’s not all, while down there I got talking to a lieutenant assigned to the Flagship, Remember that freighter the Admiral had destroyed. It had no explosives on it, it was a full of civilians.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Look I’ going to steal a ship tomorrow from hanger 2 at 1400 hour, you’re either there or not.” Kramrats informed as he ran out of the room.

Enin watched him leaved shocked at what he just heard, he couldn’t believe what his friend had told him. The Empire was for the good of the whole Galaxy including the Kaldo, they wouldn’t kill all the people on the planet just to prove a point.

The words his friend told him preyed on his mind all through the night, he barely got any sleep thinking about it. He knew that his friend must be mad, he also knew that he should report him but he couldn’t do it, they were still friend and he’s sure that Yakowt would come to his senses.

The same thoughts that plagued his mind during the night did the same while he sat at his station. He watched the clock as 1400 hours approached, as it kept getting closer and closer he contemplated telling the Captain, Maybe she could help.

It was five minuets until the time Yakowt planned to desert the navy and Enin couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if his friend did steal a shuttle. Would the captain order the gunnery crews to fire upon it, if she did that it would be up to him to relay the order. How would he be able to give the order to fire on his own friend.

“Message from the Admiral Captain!” The communication officer next to Enin called out to bringing him from his trance.

“What is it Lieutenant.” She ordered looking over in their direction.

“The fleet is ordered to initiate operation Downfall.” He informed.

“Finally.” She sighed. “Lieutenant Eugor order all Crew to open fire upon sector 78-F-R of the planet.”

“Excuse me Sir?” Eugor asked not believing what he was hearing, his friend was right the Empire had planned on destroying the world and its resident Kaldo.

“I did speak In Basic didn’t I?” She stated glaring at the young Lieutenant.

“Y-Y-Yes Sir” Enin Stuttered

“Then give the order.”

“All Gunnery Crews open fire on sector 78-F-R of the planet, Repeat, All Gunnery Crews open fire on sector 78-F-R of the planet.”

Then all Lieutenant Enin Eugor of the Imperial navy could do was watch in horror as each of the imperial ships began to fire upon the planet. The different colored blasts from the dozens of ships would have seemed beautiful if it was not for the devastation it caused below. For what seemed like an eternity he just watched through the view screen as he knew that billions of lives were being extinguished.

The bombardment did eventually end and not soon before Enin's duty shift had, He was still in shook as he went to his bunk. He laid on with his bed eye wide open as images of the horror he just witnessed flashed through his mind. ‘What have I done’ he thought to himself knowing he played apart in the wiping out of an entire species.

For over an hour he just thought, perhaps he was wrong about the Empire he served, perhaps the rumors were true.

“Lieutenant Eugor report to deck 12.” A voice ordered through the loud speakers.

Enin tried to shake the thoughts out of his head as he got up and walked to Deck 12, the thought and doubts still didn’t leave him, he couldn’t get rid of them. Soon he arrived and enter, Captain Arsaj was standing there looking down at a man on his knees with a bag over his head.

“Ah Lieutenant.” She stated looking up at him. “You’re here.”

“Yes Sir.”

“I’m worried about your loyalty after your hesitation of given a command.”

“No need sir!” He responded. “I am Loyal Sir!”

“Well time to prove yourself.” She said grabbing the bag on the mans head and revealing him to be Yakowt Kramrats. “Your Friend here was caught trying to steal shuttle… There is only one punishment for this… and you will execute it.”

“You want me too kill him?”

“Yes.” She said handing Enin a Blaster. He took it and looked at the weapon and up at his friends emotionless face avoiding eye contact. He just looked between his friend and the gun.

“I gave you an Order Lieutenant!” She stated. “Follow it or I will shoot him and then you.”

Enin continued looking between the gun in his hand and his friend, he heard the order but could not respond. He held the gun tightly and pointed it up at his fiend's head, both men just closed their eyes. Enin pulled the trigger and the feeling of self hate washed over himself instantly, opening his eyes he saw his now deceased friends limp lifeless body.

“Well done lieutenant.” The Captain congratulated with a smile. She then turned and walked out of the room as if nothing had just happened.

Left alone with his friend’s body Enin just stared before collapsing on to his knees.

“What have I become.” He said to himself looking at his friend feeling so much hate at himself. He looked between the body of his friend and the gun he still held in his hand once again, and once again felt like he was standing on the cliff at Dantooine ready to end his own life.

Once again his life amounted to nothing, he had done bad things, he was desperate once again. He just looked at the gun, it seemed so right this time, just to end it all and not live with the memory of what he had done. He would welcome any hell as he would deserve it, he welcome Oblivion as he could not stand any form of existence.

He held the gun to his own head, he could not choose to end it or live, in time he may get over and be able to do the thing he had done this day again. What had he become, what should he do, was he Good or was he Evil.

Is a good person who's done bad things, in reality a bad person or mealy a good person who is on the wrong path…
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Old 09-15-2007, 01:56 AM   #2
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Hmmm, there's spelling problems such as "mealy" for "merely". THe fic definitely could use polishing, and it's a wee bit off topic. Enin did not really fall, so to speak, but I suppose that one could say that he chose to kill his friend rather than die for his beliefs. A good effort, but does need editing

The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 09-15-2007, 08:21 AM   #3
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I agree with Bee Hoon, there were some grammar errors, but the overall story is very interesting. Nice work.

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Old 09-15-2007, 09:57 PM   #4
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Aside from the spelling and grammar errors, this has been one of your best fics, in my opinion. Not only was it longer, but it delved nicely into Enin Eugor's past and his very slow descent into darkness. I like it how Enin did not at first choose such incalculably horrific conduct as wiping out an entire planet; that would have been too incredible and over-the-top for this story. I also liked it how Enin did not at first believe that the Empire was evil, as it did save him from slavery and subjugation to the Clones.

My score: 6/10
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Old 09-16-2007, 12:10 AM   #5
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Some of the spelling and grammatical errors detracted from the fic, but overall it was pretty good. It was a nice change to see falling to the dark side from a little guy's (reasonable) perspective, and a non-Force-sensitive one at that.

My only other complaint is that the story didn't feel... well, resolved. It ends with him going through quite a dilemma and I wasn't sure which side we would pick.

It's a good entry but could due with polishing in those two areas to make it shine.
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Old 09-16-2007, 03:50 AM   #6
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Thanks for the Crit, to be honest i just forgot to get it proof read and then the closing date came close and i thought. 'Well i spent a day doing it i'll post it'. Anyway i know i had the chance to edit it but i had RL stuff to deal with. So i hope that does explain if not excuse the Poor Spelling & Grammer.
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:10 PM   #7
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Others have commented on the need for work in terms of grammar and spelling, so I won't waste characters here repeating them.

There were some flashes of linguistic style and a good command of events in the story. I quite enjoyed it, although I think it might have worked better if Capt. Arsaj had been considering defecting, myself. It also could have done with more description towards the end, IMO. Nevertheless, quite good.

In all honesty, 5.5/10.

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Old 09-26-2007, 05:10 PM   #8
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Interesting story, I also enjoyed it. We don't often get to see how the average soldier feels about things. At the end I think you could have had him struggle over whether he should shoot his friend or perhaps even shoot the Captain instead--I think if it was just the 3 of them in that room, he would have had that kind of conflict. For the beginning when he's just a farmer, you could either have expanded on that and allowed us to see the scene where his wife is killed--maybe have a scene where the droids choose him to live and her to die and show him pleading with her life as they mercilessly exterminate her--and show us his emotions and feelings. He'd have felt anguish and anger over what happened to her. The other option was to just plop him in the middle of the ship with his friend and have him briefly explain the backstory to his friend as they do some kind of menial job together or have a drink in the cantina. Then you could delete the things that came before that in order to concentrate more fully on the main part of the story, which is the destruction of the planet and his friend's defection, and his reaction to both. I agree with Devon that you kind of leave us hanging on the question of his fate. I also understood his fall to darkness when he pulls the trigger on his friend, so that worked for me.

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