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Old 11-10-2007, 04:25 PM   #1
architectofkoto
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My kotor 3 story

Exile goes out to find Revan, by getting t3m4 to unlock the ebon hawk's navigation record's. You start off the game playing as the exile, you have no choice but to be a human male. You have your crew with you-handmaiden(who is a jedi), atton(who is a jedi), visas marr, mira(who is a jedi), and t3-m4. Gotto and hk-47 are with mandalore who is back on dxun gathering his mandalorian clans. You travel to a planet in the unknown regions that has no name. Once you land and explore a bit, you find an ancient temple hidden in the canyons. You and your crew go inside and fight a bunch of sith. Some are dressed in black robes while others where no shirts and have tons of tribal tattoos and piercings all over them. Once, you defeat a bunch of sith you enter a main throne room where you see revan held down to an altar by a massive red and black beams of energy. An abnormally tall figure walks into the room from behind the altar. Every sith in the rooms kneels in his presence.

He takes off his robes and you see that the figure has 4 arms and his upper body is made up of scales and spikes. He has 3 big horns coming out of his head. 2 in the front and 1 in the back. He beats revan up. T3m4 goes beserk and shoots the figure, but the figure deflects it and it damages t3m4. Exile's crew fight the sith standing around the altar while the exile takes the on the figure. Handmaiden, atton, mira and visas defeat the other sith and then they all attack the figure.

Atton stabs the figure right the the chest, the figure laughs and grabs atton by the neck and smashes him into the ground, atton is dead. The figure does a force push using all four of his hands and sends everyone except for revan, onto the ground. Then, the figure uses force lighting at mira will all his hands creating lighting, he kills her. The exile stands in front of the restrained revan and gets the attention of the figure, the figure shoots lightning at the exile with all of his hands, the exile dodges the lightning and it hits the energy restraint around revan, destroying it. Revan is now free.

Everyone including revan run out of the temple with the figure chasing them. T3m4 has the ebon hawk waiting outside the temple for them, everyone board s the ebon hawk and escapes the figure.

I'll post more later.
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Old 11-10-2007, 04:44 PM   #2
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I don't get it. Yous said you're going to post more, but is this what? The beginning? Also, that's not the proper place for fan-fics.


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Old 11-10-2007, 06:19 PM   #3
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You should probably post this in the Coruscant Entertainment Theatre.
http://www.lucasforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=640

I would split it, but I don't have the ability.

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Old 11-10-2007, 08:13 PM   #4
Titanius Anglesmith
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Quote:
Originally Posted by architectofkoto
you have no choice but to be a human male.
I stopped reading after that. KotOR without the choice of gender isn't KotOR.


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Old 11-10-2007, 08:18 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Sparrow
I stopped reading after that. KotOR without the choice of gender isn't KotOR.
not to mention the exile is canonically female....


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Old 11-11-2007, 11:51 AM   #6
architectofkoto
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The exile IS NOT canonically female, he's a male jedi. And handmaiden, atton and mira are jedi's too. THAT IS CANONICAL, MY STORY IS CANONICAL
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Old 11-11-2007, 12:26 PM   #7
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Wookieepedia disagrees with your frenetic assertions.




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Old 11-11-2007, 01:37 PM   #8
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As Officially Stated, (though often argued over) Exile IS LSF, Revan IS LSM... thats canon.... But it has no effect on game play in previous or future games



Last edited by adamqd; 11-11-2007 at 05:37 PM.
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Old 11-11-2007, 02:40 PM   #9
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The majority of us say the Exile is canonically female, also it's been stated officially.


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Old 11-11-2007, 09:10 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adamqd
As Officially Stated, (though often argued over) Exile IS LSF, Revan IS LSM... thats c-canon.... But it has no effect on game play in previous or future games
Fixed...


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Old 11-12-2007, 04:01 AM   #11
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lol, but canon non the less


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Old 11-13-2007, 11:12 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by adamqd
lol, but canon non the less
Actually, c-canon (the sources fixing a characters gender) cannot override other c-canon (the game itself)... so the argument put forth by those who are 'canon' mongers is mostly moot.


"Beware the form-fitting black armor-clad Drow hottie with twin Mineral II Greensteel Khopeshes!"
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Old 11-14-2007, 02:07 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Sparrow
I stopped reading after that. KotOR without the choice of gender isn't KotOR.
The same as this dude.

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Old 11-14-2007, 06:06 AM   #14
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ONLY if the game itself set a gender. However since the original game did not set a gender, it was up to them to set the gender. NOW in order for a new game to come out and reference the exile or Revan, it must follow the established gender(unless I am mistaken).

As to the original topic. Not very creative, and honestly, wouldn't lend itself well to a game. Would make more sense as a fanfic.
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Old 11-14-2007, 10:57 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHawke
Actually, c-canon (the sources fixing a characters gender) cannot override other c-canon (the game itself)... so the argument put forth by those who are 'canon' mongers is mostly moot.
who's arguing with that? I was saying that c-canon is still canon , not what it does or doesn't override, they have established a canon gender, fact... does it have a higher rank than the game? I don't care, because in the game he's me, in any future non game stories he's a LSM.... me again! so I'm happy either way

Edit: It still doesn't make my statement any less true. -RH

OK,

Your Definition is Correct redhawke, but if you read my post you'll see that I was just explaining that you still have a gender choice, I didn't go into detail about levels of canon because we weren't discussing levels of canon, simply that there is a canon gender.
Sorry for the Childish retorts, but in the future could you show me the courtesy of replying to a post you disagree on, instead of just putting some of your Red ink in mine. I don't believe it's against the rules to disagree

It has less to do with 'courtesy' as you put it than the simple fact that making further replys about this, in this thread, would be off-topic. -RH



Last edited by RedHawke; 01-18-2008 at 10:55 PM.
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Old 01-15-2008, 07:43 PM   #16
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honnestly I didn't like it... at all.
It sounded like a cheesey action movie. It didn't have a Star Wars or Kotor feel to it. No dialouge, just random fighting with out any decent explanation. Sorry dude, but if that was Kotor 3 I'd be extremely disapointed.

PS I know its been said already but according to cannon the Exile is female.
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Old 01-17-2008, 11:58 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Iron Rose
honnestly I didn't like it... at all.
It sounded like a cheesey action movie. It didn't have a Star Wars or Kotor feel to it. No dialouge, just random fighting with out any decent explanation. Sorry dude, but if that was Kotor 3 I'd be extremely disapointed.

PS I know its been said already but according to cannon the Exile is female.
I have to agree with Iron Rose. What made Kotor famous was the fact that you got to travel around the galaxy going to distant sometimes well known planes. After doing so you would find out you were once an ancient sith lord. Both games had reasons of going to distant planets. Kotor=Star maps, Kotor 2=Finding surviving jedi. But yours doesn't sound anything like a Kotor game. It sounds as if you never even played Kotor 1. Just heard about Revan and tied him into the story. Since all you have is Kotor 2 characters. The kotor 1 characters were much more famous then Kotor 2.

Plus the fact that you start out as a male Exile doesnt make it Kotor. It makes it a sexist game that would drop almost 75 % of its target audience.

Also your story ISN't canonical. They already stated that the Exile was female. Maybe because Revan was male and people didn't like how no matter what you did Revan was still male outside the games. So they probably made the Exile female. Either way the female Exile has much better heads then Female Revan.

Also your story sorta conflicts with the actual game plot. Since from what I heard the Exile leaves the Ebon Hawk and all her party members to search for Revan in the Unknown regions

Quote:
THAT IS CANONICAL, MY STORY IS CANONICAL
Do you even know what the word Canon means? I don't think you do. Go look it up before you try and correct the rest of us


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Old 01-18-2008, 04:38 PM   #18
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Not to be mean, but it reads like a scene from an action B-movie. I have never responded to fanfic, but this one just caught my eye. I feel that it is emblematic of groups wanting the game: "Knights of the Old Republic 3: The Sith Lords 2." I've already said elsewhere why such a game is doomed to be mediocre.

You meant well, and I certainly don't want to discourage you; it feels like the product of a very strong and creative imagination. But I think that it might take years to develop that imagination. Please don't take too hard anything I say. I don't mean to hurt any feelings, and with cultivation, I think that your story could be quite good. Don't forget that every writer, at some point in time or at some age, was in your position. You are more than free to ignore me too, and go your own way.

I'll throw a few criticisms out:

- Its not interactive in an RPG sense. The description has more in common with the Jedi Knight series. Thats not necessarily a bad thing, but its certainly outside of the realm of RPGs. No offense to the fans of those games, but that means a great deal of action and drastically less emphasis on character/environment interaction.

- It locks the player's character into a definite gender, despite the previous games going to pains to put the choice of the gender (and entire character design) into the hands of the player. Needlessly, I might add; it feels unnecessary. A symptom perhaps of your preference for the character. Nothing bad, but others might have different preferences. Variety, especially infinite variety, has become in many games a requirement for RPG character creation. Look at Oblivion. If a game these days locks a player's character into a gender, it is generally for a storyline-based reason. Of course, there are always exceptions to this de-facto rule, but for a truly epic and open-ended feeling, its best to give a choice. Locking the character in such a way here feels forced, and makes the game immediately feel older than many of the newer RPGs on the market.

- Revan functions solely as a macguffin. Watching Revan helplessly "get beaten up" is hardly something that is equal to the character.

- Major characters (Mira, Atton, whoever else) should not die instantly upon engagement. Especially more than one character in the same period of time. Even more especially when the death occurs for no dramatic reason other than to underline that they are fighting a "Really Powerful Bad Guy". Its a hollow death. Not that I cared too much for the second game (and by extension, most of its characters), but its not drama. Its unrealistic too, given all that these characters have been through, how supposedly strong they are, and that they have been in worse entanglements and made it out fine.

- T3 is damaged by the villain in combat, and presumably quite badly given what the villain did to the other characters, yet shortly afterward is outside and has gotten the Ebon Hawk prepped up to go.

Last edited by southern_fox; 01-19-2008 at 01:05 AM.
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Old 01-18-2008, 09:28 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by southern_fox
Not to be mean,

Revan functions solely as a macguffin. Watching Revan helplessly "get beaten up" is hardly something that is equal to the character.
Yes I agree with you. But you were slightly mean. Oh well its just constructive critiscm.

Anyway where were you planning on taking this story? What would have happened afterwards?


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Old 01-18-2008, 09:41 PM   #20
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Yes I agree with you. But you were slightly mean. Oh well its just constructive critiscm.
If I came across that way, I apologize. I hope that there are no wounded feelings.

Like I said, I see a strong creative mind, but not quite tempered with time yet.
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