Actually quite an improvement since the last fic I read from you. I really like the increasing build of tension and excitement in the story.
However, if I may point a few fingers: The dialogue does have a slight coherence problem.
For instance, when Micael calls for Shiana, it would be nice to a sentence or two, describing what he feel, or what he is experiencing, rather then the sudden jump from the strange eerie voice, to his calling.
I would use some other words in some sentences like:
"The storm was getting worse: snow was being blown in each direction, blocking all objects from the eye’s path. The winds howled fiercely, muting all audible noises from the sensitivity of the ear. Things were getting too intense; Shiana could barely follow her companion through the extreme situation."
I think you use a lot of unnecessary words: For instance. "muting all audible noises from the sensitivity of the ear"
. We know that sound is related to our hearing, so you could cut down the sentence to "muting all audible noises."
, leaving out the rest.
I would properly write:
"The storm was getting worse: Snow was being blown in all directions, obscuring all objects from view. Nothing could be hear over the fierce howling winds. Things were getting too intense. Shiana could barely follow her companion through the harsh and extreme weather."
Well, anyway... it's all point of view :P hehe. Good job, and I'm looking forward for the next part.