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Old 04-15-2008, 01:57 PM   #1
Samuel Dravis
 
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[Fic] Story Number One WHOOHOO

Yes, well, don't bother me with details about the Falleen because I don't care too much!
Anyways INYRI and DI - I will win Sam's Contest that is all I have to say on the subject!



The point of the Executor's military grade blaster pistol was pointed directly at the man standing in the doorway of the small, seedy apartment. The tiny scales on Jalderin's face turned a paler shade of their natural green as the Falleen stumbled and fell backwards onto the ground of the room in fear, scrambling back to escape from the all-too-present threat.
The Executor's voice was strangely, eerily calm as he walked toward the former biologist. "The royal houses are not quick to anger, Jalderin. Even more so, they are not quick to vengeance. Yet they have sent an Executor to you. Why do you think that is?"
Jalderin reached the decorated wall, feet scrabbling in a vain attempt to put more distance between him and the future that was walking towards him with a measured stride. "The Executors have always been the favorite toy of those in the Family who are too quick to anger. Your presence here only marks their willingness to shoot first and then feel good about their having 'resolved the problem.'"
Korag, Executor of the Great Houses, stopped, his weapon unwavering. "You've had time enough to explain your case to the families of those that you helped kill, Jalderin. It has been nearly a year since you fled the consequences of your actions at the Imperial biological research station. Nearly a year since the destruction of the entire city. Justice must be served, Jalderin. Justice will be served.
"Your part in the deaths of over 200,000 Falleen, including House Sizhran, will not be forgotten-- nor can it be, if the rule of law be maintained. And it will be maintained.
"For your crimes - for your callous abrogation of the responsibility you owed your people, your lord, your king - you have been sentenced to death. It was ever only a matter of time before you were caught.
"Even now you crawl on the ground, running away from your final responsibility: to die.
"And so it falls to an Executor - to me - to ensure that justice will be served.
"I am the end, Jalderin. The end of your running, the end of your hope."
"It was only ever a fools' hope of freedom, Executor." Jalderin's skin rippled darker, his skin returning to its normal hue as he stood up from the ground and faced the Korag. "Once, I thought as you. I did what they told me without question, without care, content that my superiors ordered me wisely. And they did! They were just many times, even most times. Yet now I would rather be a fool than be used and discarded by the Royal Houses. Your 'justice' is their justice; they control it, they decide it -- and they use you now just as they used me. The same Houses which you esteem so much collaborated with the humans in the creation of the disease that was released. You talk about justice. What justice is done by being the lackey of traitors?
"I did what I had to do. I stopped the creation of new horrors to be used against us, against our own people. I forced the Houses to disassociate themselves from the Empire and from the living weapons we created. Two hundred thousand dead is not what I had wanted. I didn't really comprehend the viruence of the plague at the time. But those two hundred thousand were enough to ensure the freedom of our planet.
"No, Executor. The 'justice' you want to enact on me is a mockery of justice: emotional outrage dressed up in judicial proceedings to give it a veneer of legitimacy. Even the name of your position shows their hypocrisy. Executor? Executor of those who the Houses have found inconvienent. You might as well be called an assassin. The Houses have no interest in justice; they believe themselves above reproach. More evil is contained in following their rule blindly than in anything I have done."
The Executor flicked a small switch on the side of his pistol. "Good intentions are worth nothing to those you killed. You took it upon yourself to decide for the entire planet the course of our future. My authority comes from my superiors, and their authority comes from their position in our society. Where did your authority come from? Where is your justification? Your reason for killing hundreds of thousands is that you decided that this was the best course of action by yourself?
"My reasons were good! Even you can see what happened to happened to the Empire - the Emperor dead, the fleet in disarray, Rebels attacking everywhere. They would have come for us."
"Good?" replied Korag, with scorn in his sibilant voice. "Good according to you, and you alone. You liken yourself to the dead Emperor - deciding the fates of anyone you wish on a whim. What you represent is not freedom from injustices that the Houses may have committed, though those are surely dealt with in passing. What you represent is the abolition of society. You want to be praised for doing as you thought best, to be hailed as a saviour from oppression... but what you've really done is only this: you've killed thousands and stolen the rightful choices of millions more. You've gone far beyond your rights, Kaldarin.
"Your choice was then. Now face the necessary consequence."
The Executor's blaster flashed a hungry orange-white and the room fell silent. Korag stood for a moment with a thin smile spread over his face. Justice had been served here, yes-- but this one man was not sufficient. Those who gave Jalderin his orders were also culpable. The smile vanished as he strode out of the room. He had business to attend to on Falleen.


"Words are deeds." - Wittgenstein
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:33 PM   #2
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Old 04-19-2008, 11:17 AM   #3
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Your eloquence is astounding, sir! Your critique said everything that needed saying.

(^^)



"Words are deeds." - Wittgenstein
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Old 04-19-2008, 03:38 PM   #4
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Do you mean "Executioner?
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Old 04-19-2008, 06:48 PM   #5
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No, Executor is the right word. An executor is someone who carries something out (e.g., the executor of a will). Also, like you've pointed out, it makes you think of executioner as well. Besides, what's good enough for the Protoss is good enough for the Falleen!


"Words are deeds." - Wittgenstein
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Old 04-20-2008, 11:51 PM   #6
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Sam, it iz dark! While it does raise interesting questions, it is kind of...unhappy:/ It is well-written and good, but it's off topic to me.

Unless of course, writing dark and depressing stories makes the Hams happy! In which case, that's all good <3



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 04-21-2008, 03:39 AM   #7
Samuel Dravis
 
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Well, I had thought the point of this story that was applicable to the topic was the executor's satisfaction at bringing his version of justice, even if it wasn't complete.

And no, it doesn't really make me happy to write horribly depressing stories! Devon and I were talking about Ayn Rand (therefore the preachy, moralizing style) and then Inyri said "Falleen" when I asked her for an alien race to use. This is just the first situation that came to mind.

Actually my first thought for this story is that it would be about a play in which a bounty hunter gets satisfaction from his capture, but then as I added to it I dropped the references to the play and just made it a description. Trivia!


"Words are deeds." - Wittgenstein
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Old 04-21-2008, 10:19 PM   #8
Bee Hoon
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Lol, there is that, I suppose. You need moar kitsch in your life! >:3

Hams is so cool that he should have his own subforum devoted to trivia about him <3



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 05-22-2008, 11:33 AM   #9
Jae Onasi
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Very interesting concept. Consider putting an extra line break between each change in speaker and in paragraphs--it helps with readability on a forum. I liked some of the imagery very much--the blaster flashed a hungry orange'-white for instance.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

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