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Old 05-05-2008, 11:12 PM   #1
Tysyacha
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[KOTOR Badfic] The Piece 1 of a Map

(Author's Note: The installment immediately following "The Jedi, Reloaded".)

Oh, yeah...there's something else I forgot to tell you about that happened on Dantooine. Not long after I became a Jedi, Bastila the Boring and I, along with Itreya, were sent on a mission to explore some strange ruins. Not that I'm a big fan of archaeological digs, but I just love going on training exercises with two ladies beside me. Not that I don't care which one's the hottest, or the most interesting in my book, but Bastila at least has a double lightsaber. Itreya has none--darn this game that I can't teach her to use the Force! (When she was a Sith, she was a lieutenant, not a red-saber guy or gal.)

Anyway, I saw this droid that spoke a sushi dialect--uh, I mean ancient Selkath--and it told me that I needed to unlock some big doors in order to "unlock the ancient secrets of the Star Forge". In game speak, this means I had to whack some droids and then go on another mission--a looooong one. So, I took my handy-dandy blue lightsaber and smashed one droid that almost turned me into Jedi Crisp, what with all the fire it spit out at me, and then I answered a dumb series of questions on a dumb computer that a 3rd grader could figure out: "What types of land support life? Gee--could it be Desert? Volcanic? Barren?" I put absolutely none of these and went to open the other door. Then I whacked another droid that froze Bastila about 30 times and turned her into the Ice Queen she really is. Hahahahahahahahaha!

After I finished off the ancient fire extinguisher, I answered some more dumb questions on another dumb computer and FINALLY got to open the final door. Behind it I found this weird map--or at least the piece 1, as I prefer to call it in gamespeak. It's a map to the Star Forge, but I really do wish it was the WHOLE map. Then I could return it to the Council, whack the Star Forge, call it a day and go live in passionate wrongdoing with Itreya on some Sith world.

Not to be. It was only Piece 1, and thus I began my long, weary mission...
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Old 05-07-2008, 04:32 PM   #2
Jedi Eagle 27
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Hilarious. Keep it up.
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Old 05-28-2008, 08:13 AM   #3
The_Catto
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Very nice again. Though, I didn't laugh as much as the others. Say, could you be losing your touch Tysy? (cheesy joke drum-roll. Duh doo TSH!)

Jk, jk! Looking forward to the next part!!!

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