The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but you find out that it will never happen.

I wish I had an airplane.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but it crashes into the Pacific ocean and you get eaten by sharks.

I wish these quadratic equations only had one way to be solved.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but nobody knows the one way.

I wish that I had a super-tank.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but Indiana Jones stuffs a rock up the gun just as you fire it and you blow up.

I wish Christmas would get here sooner.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. but its at the time of your death and you somehow end up teleported there.

I wish I could fight anyone I want and always win

[Bokken]

Granted, but you become a pacifist and would rather kill yourself than fight.

I wish I were a good ventriloquist.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. you become so good that you can no long talk, only your dummy can.

I wish I had two four barrel shotguns

[Endorenna]

Granted, but you wake up with eight bullets in you.

I wish I could change my screensaver sooner.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but you change it into your worst nightmare.

I wish I had Indiana Jones' hat.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but it gets caught in a nuclear explosion.

I wish this season of Star Trek would get better.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but by better, you mean "bitter," and the main character goes sour.

I wish I had a bowl of cookiees.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. But the cookies taste horrible and are posioned

I wish I could fly like superman

[Endorenna]

Granted, but you crash into a building and kill yourself.

I wish these towels were folded.

[M@RS]

Granted, but dangit they keep un-folding themselves...

I wish I could make better mods for JA...

[Chevron 7 locke]

granted. but some fan of your mod goes insane and kills you

I wish I could travel to the Star Trek Universe and kill things

[M@RS]

Granted, but one day you mess up and your target kills you... Slowly, and painfully...

I wish I lived in Narnia...

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. but they all hate you so they kill you and eat you while talking about boring things.

I wish I was the Tenth Doctor

[Endorenna]

Granted, but number eleven comes along and deposes you.

I wish I had a sig/avvy as cool as M@rs!

[Alkonium]

Granted, but M@RS sues you for copyright infringement.

I wish I was the Eleventh Doctor.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. But he gets killed by Daleks in the first few seconds after his regeneration.

I wish I was the ninth doctor

[Endorenna]

Granted, but since you're already the tenth doctor, you have a split personality.

I wish...I wish I had Prince Caspian on DVD.

[Chevron 7 locke]

granted. But through a strange set of circumstances, your DVD player blows up along with your DVD.

I wish I could find a worthy challenger on Battlefront 2 online

[Endorenna]

Granted; she snipes you from across the battlefield and kills you.

I wish it would warm up.

[Alkonium]

Granted. It's now 100° C outside.

I wish I had Series 1, 2, and 4 of Doctor Who on DVD.

[M@RS]

^ Granted, but through a mistake they are sent to the person you hate the most...

I wish I was the artist for Calvin and Hobbes...

Originally Posted by Endorenna

I wish I had a sig/avvy as cool as M@rs!

[Alkonium]

Granted. You attempt to revive Calvin and Hobbes, then get sued for copyright infringement.

I wish I was the Eighth Doctor.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, you "were" at on point, because they fired you.

I wish that I had an awesome fencing sword.

[M@RS]

^ You "had" one but you lost it after you had a fit and threw it into the nearest river, leaving it to rust...

I wish that HE didn't bite...

[Alkonium]

Granted. HE does now.

I wish people would stop doing the past tense thing to ruin wishes.

[M@RS]

^ Granted, now they use the future tense...

I wish I really was a Master Swordsman...

[Rev7]

^
Granted, but there are no such thing as swords.

I wish that my bed would make itself...

[Alkonium]

Granted, but it does so while you're in it, and suffocates you.

I wish for the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but Glados hates you, and destroys you using turrets.

I wish I had Knight's armor.

[Rev7]

Granted, but it weighs the equivelent of 12 school buses

[Alkonium]

Granted. It's the Pepsi Knight's armour, and the Beerbarian is about to kill you.

I wish people (myself included) understood the reference better.

[Bokken]

Granted, but now that we understand, we know that we were happier in our ignorance.

I wish that I didn't get so far behind on this topic.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but now you're too far ahead.

I wish I could figure out better responses.

[Endorenna]

Granted, but everybody shoots you for being too good.

I wish the Christmas decorations were up.

[Bokken]

Granted, but it's after Christmas.

I wish that I could find a good free site to download music from.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but it's an illegal one.

I wish people weren't idiots.