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Old 01-13-2010, 09:10 PM   #1961
Darth Avlectus
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Granted but you have to use some HTML code that endangers the site and the SysAdmin get really pissed off and ban you for hacking the server.

I wish my nads didn't continue to itch.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 01-13-2010, 09:54 PM   #1962
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Granted, but now a part of your back that you can't reach starts to itch.

I wish TOR was coming out tomorrow.


"There is no way to be better than everyone else, but being kind and having a sense of humor certainly helps." -Me, my quote on life.
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:15 PM   #1963
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Granted but it is fail even worse than TSL b/c it was not complete. The inspiration and motivaiton for LA's decision will be traced back to your wish in that post, even should you delete it--the sysadmin have a copy of *everything*. Congrats, you have just botched an already doomed to fail project to even bigger failure--and I didn't think that was even possible.

I wish I could see someone's video on YT of when they gave their baby pop rocks like Kelso said he'd do...


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 01-27-2010, 03:07 AM   #1964
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Granted, but now every video you see or rent, from here on out, are people doing they same thing over and over again in the clip. Which is called: "Pop rocks baby" BTW.




I wish I could see the future, including my own.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 01-27-2010, 08:05 PM   #1965
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Granted, you see every possible moment in time to come from every possible point of view, which drives you insane.

I wish to know when Series 5 of Doctor Who premieres.

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Old 01-27-2010, 10:01 PM   #1966
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Granted and it ends up being the worst premiere of the show you ever saw--like so bad it is an insult to the concept of Dr. Who as an entire entity.

I wish there was some universal GMOD release that made both old and new mod releases work.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-03-2010, 10:04 AM   #1967
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granted: However you come to regret your decission

I wish I was a pirate




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Old 04-03-2010, 10:18 AM   #1968
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Granted, but you're the traditional swashbuckling kind and don't last long against navies with missiles and machine guns. Enjoy life in prison.

I wish I could light myself on fire with no consequences.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 04-03-2010, 05:38 PM   #1969
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granted, but you will still get burned whether you like it or not!




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Old 04-03-2010, 06:07 PM   #1970
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Bro, you're supposed to find a loophole in the request, not just deny it outright. And you're supposed to leave a wish to be corrupted.

I wish Te Dim Sum Man o' War left a wish to be corrupted.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 04-03-2010, 07:07 PM   #1971
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Granted, but he forgot to to say anything even remotely related to the preceding wish.

I wish I had the Star Wars Saga on Blu-Ray.

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Old 04-04-2010, 02:00 AM   #1972
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Granted, but Lucas made you give him your left nut to get it.

I wish there was something left to wish.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 04-04-2010, 02:01 AM   #1973
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Granted, unfortunately some laser enthusiast decided to dissect *your* blu ray reader (even if you never knew you had it) after reading this article and being intoxicated by the beautiful sheer brilliance of indigo shine in the pics...and made a indigo laser pointer out of it that lights stuff on fire.


I wish for my home repair attempt on my 360 to be resoundingly successful.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-12-2010, 08:51 PM   #1974
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Wish Granted, unfortunately someone breaks into your house steals your games and cuts your 360 in half with a chainsaw.

I wish I ruled the moon.


Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."
―Darth Malak
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Old 04-12-2010, 09:00 PM   #1975
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Granted, but you have no subjects, no viable resources, and no well, anything. What did you expect? It's the bloody moon!

I wish I was eligible for the YouTube partner program.

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Old 04-12-2010, 09:06 PM   #1976
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Granted but you are assassinated after acceptance.

I wish for Half Life 3 to be the best it possibly can be.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-12-2010, 09:31 PM   #1977
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Granted, but you die of natural causes before it's released.

I wish for a job in which I could easily get any coworker I don't like fired.

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Old 04-12-2010, 09:41 PM   #1978
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Granted but now nobody will work with you for that company, you shoulder the majority of work and are worked to death because you can't quit as a stipulation until worker numbers return to normal which as I just said isn't happening.

Finger effing a toilet while french kissing a light socket.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-12-2010, 09:42 PM   #1979
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Granted, but the building you work in burns down shorty after you are employed and is never rebuilt.

I wish for a pimp cane like Snoop Dogg.

Edit: oops I was busy and didn't realize you 'plied.


Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."
―Darth Malak
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Old 04-12-2010, 09:45 PM   #1980
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@GTA: Wrong game, however: Granted, you die from electrocution.

@greggo: Granted, your pimp cane looks exactly like Snoop Dogg, which people find weird and creepy.

I wish I had the money to start an aggressive anti-bully initiative/campaign called Eliminate Bullying, Eliminate Bullies.

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Old 04-12-2010, 09:49 PM   #1981
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Granted, but unfortunately it evolved into a legalized racketeering and pimping business. You are forever seen as the bane of humanity.

(BTW, where's the smacks upside the head?)

I wish to see Bayonetta and Morrigan Aensland fight.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-13-2010, 09:15 PM   #1982
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Granted, however when one wins and kills the other he decides to come after you.

I wish Billy Mays was still alive.


Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."
―Darth Malak
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:21 PM   #1983
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Granted, unfortunately two of your favorite actors die in order to ressurect Billy...who is then hit by a speeding ambulance and wounded mortally once again.

BTW Bayonetta and Morrigan Aesland are both female.

I wish for Keith Olbermann to not be injured by a stray projectile from a lawnmower.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:30 PM   #1984
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Well, I'm going to have to ruin that wish by saying no. However, b/c I know that's almost too cruel to bear, he instead spontaneously combusts on air after ranting about Bush yet again. Bad for the chimp, but msnbc gets it's best rating spike in history.

I wish Barney Frank weren't stranded on an island filled with man-hating lesbian lumberjacks w/a wicked and twisted sense of humor.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 04-14-2010, 12:31 AM   #1985
Darth Avlectus
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Granted, instead Barney Frank is stranded on a highway island instead with indiscriminately man hating (sexual predispositions notwithstanding) lesbian lumberjacks w/ a sick and twisted sense of humor that have access to tools and explosives.

I wish Tom Anderson would get out of jail already, because while he's been gone, as a nieghbor, Beavis' daily visits to Anderson's tool shed are getting louder and more annoying and the cops won't do nothing about it.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-20-2010, 11:50 PM   #1986
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Granted, however a nuke is dropped on the city in which they live, killing millions.

I wish for a lifetime supply of beans with molasses and cheese.


Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."
―Darth Malak
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:12 AM   #1987
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Granted, but the all the cheese is moldy, and not in the way that makes it fancier.

I wish for cheap space travel to become widespread by the time I wake up tomorrow.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:52 AM   #1988
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Granted: It's so cheap it also has a 95% mortality rate and 100% survivor debilitation rate--but hey, it's space travel and it's widespread!


I wish Dr. Wily was for real all jacking cars and stuff for his robots.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-21-2010, 11:39 AM   #1989
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Granted, but all he jacks is your car and your stuff, and doesn't let you see his robots.

I wish Dr. GTA was for real jacking cars and stuff for his lasers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GTA:SWcity View Post
Granted: It's so cheap it also has a 95% mortality rate and 100% survivor debilitation rate--but hey, it's space travel and it's widespread!
Totally worth it.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 04-21-2010, 05:24 PM   #1990
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Granted, and you're first, the now real Dr. Wily eventually.


I wish little dogs didn't get jiggy with leather coats.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-29-2010, 03:59 AM   #1991
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Granted, but he got all "jiggy" while on your favorite hat.......and you didn't realize it until you put on your hat.

(Your Mother says to you: Sorry son..I don't have anything that will get the yellow stains out.)








I wish I had better health, from here on out. And not have to spend my freak'in time in the hospital. (Maaan, those goddamn catheters are murder).


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 04-29-2010, 07:04 PM   #1992
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Granted, unfortunately you tried to **** Marcellus Wallace out of the money hey loaned you so you could afford to get well. Jules Winnfield comes to your house on his behalf and executes you. You are dead.

I wish Ed Schultz decided to fight Vince McMahon.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-29-2010, 07:10 PM   #1993
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Granted, but the winner goes after you.

I wish for this wish to not be granted.

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Old 04-29-2010, 08:01 PM   #1994
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Granted, unfortunately since it is self contradictory, you have cursed yourself so that the next thing you want to have happen doesn't.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alkonium View Post
Granted, but the winner goes after you.
Considering they're both big slow and old...I don't have much to worry abouyt either way.


I wish that arc welder had done me in back in '02.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-29-2010, 08:32 PM   #1995
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He did.

I wish GTA hadn't made that so easy.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:38 PM   #1996
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GRANTED! But now, GTA makes it hard and you become easy, and you don't see it coming. (OH! Wait a minute..maybe..yoou doooo?)







I wish women weren't so damn complicated.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:44 AM   #1997
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Granted: now women are so boring that men decide sheep and dogs are better.

Behold a campfire with the guys: Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward
View page
YouTube Video



I wish BeetleJuice would wreak havoc all over new york.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:50 AM   #1998
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Granted. But he decides your hometown is next.

I wish $500.

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Old 04-30-2010, 03:03 AM   #1999
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Granted, but unfortunately you get $500 dollars worth of Obama socialism currency instead...



....and you end up paying it all back to Obama in unfair taxes. (Oh well....you lose some and then you lose some.)




I wish a WWE DIVA or VIXEN, would layeth the smackdown on my ass.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:42 AM   #2000
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Granted. Unfortunately, they miss this cue as your invitation to rough sex and beat the snot out of you for being a dirty perv. You have to go back to the hospital and deal w/catheters again for at least 6 months. They were just trying to "keep it simple, stupid".

I wish only Obama and his cronies got paid w/that funny money, while the rest of us enjoyed the return of economic prosperity.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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