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Old 12-04-2011, 10:42 PM   #2161
Darth Avlectus
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Granted, unfortunately you also don't care about your spelling to a point that it becomes detrimental.


I wish M. Bison from street fighter were real so I could bash his head in.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 12-04-2011, 11:30 PM   #2162
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Granted, but to do so means stealing the body of Raul Julia from his grave in dressing him up in the costume. Needless to say, it does not end well.

I wish for fiction to be angst-free.

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Old 12-06-2011, 03:40 AM   #2163
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Granted, unfortunately reality takes a turn for the worse and a little side note everyone on earth gets scabies at once.

I wish I could have an opportunity meet either the Jerky Boys or John Musacha.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:16 AM   #2164
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you do, but you're also blind.

I wish I hadn't answered this thread.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:41 AM   #2165
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Granted. You don't exist.

I wish to pass all my exams.

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Old 12-11-2011, 11:50 AM   #2166
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Granted, you oversleep and fail all your classes.

I wish no one could play Mass Effect 3 till after I did, so that there were no more spoiler issues to deal with.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:51 AM   #2167
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Granted, but you realise that there was nothing spoiler-worthy in the game anyway. In fact, you already knew the whole story.

I wish I could be good at my native language.


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Old 12-11-2011, 05:00 PM   #2168
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^^^Granted you are. Unfortunately the effort required to grant your wish required I take from somewhere else, you are now homeless with horrendous credit you won't recover from until you are at least 55 years old.

I wish celebrity deathmatch was back, and it had all the GTA 3 era characters vs all the OT characters of SW, and Akuma from Street Fighter was the referee.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 12-30-2011, 10:49 PM   #2169
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Granted, but it is cancelled before the first episode finishes.

I wish I had a big knoife.


Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."
―Darth Malak
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Old 12-30-2011, 11:10 PM   #2170
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Granted, but when you brandish it, someone points out that it's actually a spoon. You've played knifey-spoony before, right?

I wish my spoon was too big.

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Old 12-30-2011, 11:32 PM   #2171
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Granted, but you're also a Banana

I wish I had a pelican.




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 12-31-2011, 02:04 AM   #2172
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Granted, but you're also pemmican that can feel pain. And your pelican is hungry.

I wish I had a car that didn't need fuel of any sort and didn't have to be insured.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 12-31-2011, 02:17 AM   #2173
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Granted. But you just realize that you outgrew Matchbox a long time ago and have used up all your wishes.

I wish I'd stop playing this game.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 12-31-2011, 12:47 PM   #2174
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Granted, unfortunately you grow bored because life just isn't as much fun and you decide to take it up again.

I wish California State Senator Pete Stark did something traitorous enough to warrant the death penalty and the video of his execution was death by way of woodchipper feet first while chain shackeld by his wrists to some posts cemented into the ground so that way he's stretched out in agony before the 5 ton woodchipper inches forward and munches him up slowly. (AND the poor schmuck in whose yard it is performed has to put up with the dungeon smell, unless he or she likes the smell of course--then something else.)


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 12-31-2011, 01:03 PM   #2175
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Granted, but the "something traitorous enough" involves you.

I wish TOR would go free to play.

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Old 12-31-2011, 01:11 PM   #2176
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Granted, unfortunately that is because earth has entered into a blind spot in the universe where all electromagnetics are severely decreased and electrical currents the world over have stopped on appreciable usable levels. It's free to play because nobody can turn on their computer anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alk
the "something traitorous enough" involves you.
I thought my american flag t-shirt factory smelled a little funny.
...


I wish alk was a jackass.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 12-31-2011, 04:10 PM   #2177
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Totally granted, but then he becomes the ultimate jackass out of all of us.





I wish we could slow down time.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 12-31-2011, 05:08 PM   #2178
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Granted, but then your brain and heart slow down to match and stop due to insufficient blood pressure and you die.

I wish the US had a weapon as powerful as the Death Star, w/o any vulnerabilities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DA
California State Senator Pete Stark
You mean that horse's ass is more than just a CA congressman? Or is that his evil (how would anyone be able to tell ) twin?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 01-01-2012, 09:32 PM   #2179
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Granted, unfortunately you are the dumbass who locks everyone out of the control room including yourself and there is no way to get back inside. Nice going. BTW Red Foreman had a message: check your ass, dumbass.

I wish J.P. Morgan got sunk, literally.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 02-26-2012, 09:41 PM   #2180
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Granted, but the resulting flood drowns you.

I wish I could feel like modding again.



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Old 02-26-2012, 10:36 PM   #2181
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Granted, but then your schedule doesn't give you time.


I wish I could hide my frustration and sadness from one of my friends.

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Old 02-28-2012, 09:26 PM   #2182
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Granted but now you are frustrated because nobody gets it and nobody wants to leave you any time to yourself.


I wish I successfully killed leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1-3 for saying "what" again, and escaped unscathed.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:46 PM   #2183
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Granted, but now people see you as worse than Leatherface, since you killed him.

I wish for all of the nutjob American politicians to reenact "Physicist Melts Down" on live TV.

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Old 02-29-2012, 12:27 AM   #2184
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Granted. Unfortunately the result is that several fictional universes merge with ours and we end up with a whole mess of problems...politicians being the least of your worries. You now have to save your neighbors from Dr. Tongue.

I wish furry-human hybrids were real, both human base and animal based so that way I could have the concubines of my dreams in my trash kingdom on some random island.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 02-29-2012, 03:22 AM   #2185
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Granted. However, as your random island sinks into the sea and you have no way to escape, your new concubines proceed to shrilly scream at you about what a dumb rat b@st@rd you are for not having an escape/emergency relocation plan.

I wish I won the Powerball and Megamillions jackpots, with each being over $200 mil, while still safely retaining my anonymity and living happily rich ever after.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:31 AM   #2186
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Granted, unfortunately events take place soon thereafter to subvert several world economies under Geroge Soros' control. Soros dissolves the U.N. and replaces it with a global empire...guess who is at the throne?
As a result of America's economy being made insolvent your money is now worthless, you are constantly being threatened by eric holder, and SPLC pres. Richard Cohen if you try to take action there will be "retaliation".

I wish my furries and I successfully swim back to america unscathed.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:57 AM   #2187
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Granted, but things go downhill after you get there.

I wish I could forget about DA's furry harem.

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Old 02-29-2012, 01:22 PM   #2188
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Granted, but you became a furry yourself and became part of a Sasquatch's harem, so Sasquatch begans messin' with you.





I wish Sasquatch would wrestle D.A. for his harem.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 02-29-2012, 06:10 PM   #2189
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Granted: we have a wrestling match and the furry harem makes its escape from me. Unfortunately I still win the match b/c sasquatch is more concerned about not being seen by anyone and making sure nobody "gives a ****" about bigfoot.

I wish we had a LF group called the jackass crew.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:38 AM   #2190
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Granted, but it's just full of jackasses and has nothing to do with Jackass.

@DA: Couldn't you just make one?

I wish for DA to get drunk and go all "Can I take my pants off over my head? Of course not. My body's in the way." the next time he has to give a big speech.

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Old 03-01-2012, 08:46 PM   #2191
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Granted but you miss out on it and nobody recorded it even though you paid them.

@Alk: yes, but it's funnier to see what people think about it. I suppose if there was enough interest I'd make one. But who'd join? I'm pretty sure I watch jackass more than everyone else here.

I wish my little girl would grow up to kill Lucifer, take over and become queen of hell just like that one ending in princess maker 2--and that I'd get front a row seat to watch all the lawyers suffer her wrath. (Obviously while I burn since I'm pretty much going there myself I think.)


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 03-04-2012, 12:49 AM   #2192
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Granted, but the Grim Reaper kills her in retaliation.

I wish Mass Effect 3 could come out sooner.



Forgive, but never forget. No amount of DLC can take back lying to your fan base. Trust is earned, not downloaded.



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Old 03-04-2012, 08:07 AM   #2193
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Granted, but it's full of bugs that crash the game every 5 minutes.


I wish for a girlfriend, who would not break my heart.

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Old 03-04-2012, 01:19 PM   #2194
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Granted, but now you don't trust any females as far as you could throw them, which hurts your ability to have long term relationships because you finally figured out what they really want is to dominate all of us men.





I wish life itself would get a life.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 03-04-2012, 03:19 PM   #2195
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Granted, but at the loss of your own.

I wish for nothing.



Forgive, but never forget. No amount of DLC can take back lying to your fan base. Trust is earned, not downloaded.



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Old 03-04-2012, 04:06 PM   #2196
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Granted, now you're floating in a void for all eternity with nothing to do.

I wish it would stop being so damn windy here.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 03-04-2012, 05:08 PM   #2197
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Granted, you no longer expel gas, but the natural winds outside inherit that sulfur smell and everyone across the entire planet blames you.






I wish the 2012 presidential elections were already over with.


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Old 03-04-2012, 05:25 PM   #2198
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Granted, the Reapers decided to show up a good 174 years early, so we've got bigger things to worry about than an election.

I wish for Stephen Harper to be removed from office.

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Old 03-04-2012, 07:18 PM   #2199
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Granted, but Vic Toews takes over and shifts the entire government's focus to getting to know you better (by putting you in a megaprison with lots of cameras). You're stuck in there with the worse kinds of people, like child pornographers and privacy advocates.

I wish that space travel was as cheap, effective, and as awesome as it is in Star Trek.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 03-04-2012, 08:05 PM   #2200
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Granted, but Earth runs out of its fuel reserves - as well as all human colonies.

I wish I could go to the upcoming Van Halen concert.



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