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Old 07-23-2008, 08:01 PM   #121
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in reference to chapter 24:

lol the thought of Vrook punishing himself.
I must admit it's becoming frustrating, how Yuthura keeps ruining it for herself, which is great, because allowing people to get frustrated at certain ideas in a story, shows you're going about it the right way.

Love it so far!


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Old 07-23-2008, 08:08 PM   #122
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Originally Posted by Burnseyy View Post
in reference to chapter 24:

lol the thought of Vrook punishing himself.
I must admit it's becoming frustrating, how Yuthura keeps ruining it for herself, which is great, because allowing people to get frustrated at certain ideas in a story, shows you're going about it the right way.

Love it so far!
Thanks. I'm aiming to avoid repetitions, but I think this won't be the last time that kind of thing happens.

I'm trying to get Yuthura in positions where she observes good leadership and tries to act like the ones she respects most. Although I thought Vrook would provide a source for clashing swords with her, Master Vash would serve a better purpose.
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:10 PM   #123
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Thanks. I'm aiming to avoid repetitions, but I think this won't be the last time that kind of thing happens.

I'm trying to get Yuthura in positions where she observes good leadership and tries to act like the ones she respects most. Although I thought Vrook would provide a source for clashing swords with her, Master Vash would serve a better purpose.
repetition is difficult to avoid with stories like this. it'll probably happen with my Mira story I'm doing.

and why Master Vash?


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Old 07-23-2008, 08:41 PM   #124
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Vash is one of the reasonable characters that didn't agree with the Council on the matter of Revan (mind wipe) or why they tried to exile her when she returned to the jedi. As Yuthura gets to know Vash, she comes to realize that Vash is a good leader. While she is angry at the rest of the Council, she thinks highly of Vash. I won't spill too much info right now.
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:43 PM   #125
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Ahh - I thought Vrook had the 'sternness' and 'strictness' to be a leader, but nothing else. Who ever heard of a stubborn, accusing leader? o.0


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Old 07-23-2008, 08:50 PM   #126
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Well I'm going to be painting a very sad picture that is the Jedi Council. I just want to show that they are not all bad. I may follow Bastila's advice... what greater weapon is there than to turn an enemy to your cause? Yuthura will learn this well.
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:56 PM   #127
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That advice was probably the only slightly useful thing Bastila said lol
I think that would be a wonderful idea to put into this story.

You know how Yuthura looks in the game? Is that how you picture her in this story? Because I have a slightly modified idea of her appearance.


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Old 07-23-2008, 09:07 PM   #128
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Well I had her choose a twi'lek outfit like the avatar, but with long sleeves and two lightsabers. Then I went and did something stupid like have her acting like a good girl and wearing the robes again. The biggest difference is that she had very pale skin because of the physical effects of the dark side. In the story, her skin is a much richer violet and she will have the tattoos for a few months before removing them. Maybe something else is in store for her physical appearance.

Since Yuthura had no problem with modesty, she wanted something that wasn't cumbersome. She also wanted to take advantage of her twi'lek charm, so she chose something more revealing. As for the jedi dress code... I also wanted to display her blatant disregard of minor rules at the beginning and slowly come to act like a model jedi. Her reasons should become obvious the later in the story you get.

Last edited by Darth_Yuthura; 07-23-2008 at 10:37 PM.
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Old 07-23-2008, 10:17 PM   #129
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I wouldn't worry too much about post count. Afterall, if staff thought them too spammy...they'd cut 'em out. Currently about 2 chapters behind, but no complaints.


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Old 07-24-2008, 01:06 AM   #130
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I don't think that this story is really all that repititious at all! I wouldn't see the need to delete any of the chapters....

Another great chapter Darth_Yuthura. I didn't realize that Beleya was in this story, I thought that she was in that other Yuthura Ban story...maybe I am just mistaken. Good job though.

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Old 07-24-2008, 03:45 AM   #131
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Well it's really great how Darth_Yuthura makes great characters out of characters that, in original, were just a small lill' fraction of the story...
Keep up! And stop being so worried, the fic is coming along nice! Just stay on this line at all will be fine


*Note: Chapter 8 is out!*
[Fic] The war of the ancients, seen through the eyes of one young men, as he walks the road of destiny... The Triumvirates War

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Old 07-24-2008, 11:14 AM   #132
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I am still developing Yuhtura's apprentice and would like to know what people think before I finalize Ross's personality. I wanted to have a very capable apprentice that Yuthura would be able to handle, but I want him to be very different from her.

I had a chapter coming up where Yuthura deliberately does something that disregards modesty in order to refine Ross's perception of her. In the end, she says that maybe Ross isn't supposed to be like her. Being like her meant being able to embarrass oneself if the situation demanded it. This leaves him in an uncomfortable place after that.

Before I commit to this chapter, I would like to know if it's in Yuthura's character to show who she really is... rather than what she chooses to display.
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:04 PM   #133
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Wow! Don't give us spoilers plssss! I had enough by reading your conversation with Burnseyy. After all, it's important how you make a fic, but the storyline is greater imo, and you give it away. Stop!


*Note: Chapter 8 is out!*
[Fic] The war of the ancients, seen through the eyes of one young men, as he walks the road of destiny... The Triumvirates War

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Old 07-24-2008, 03:15 PM   #134
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Wow! Don't give us spoilers plssss! I had enough by reading your conversation with Burnseyy. After all, it's important how you make a fic, but the storyline is greater imo, and you give it away. Stop!
What do you expect when you look at the most recent replies?! Do you think we're discussing basket weaving?

I'm glad to have people reading and responding, but to those haven't caught up to the last chapter... know that the most recent feedbacks are directly related to the story. If I could hide spoilers, I will, but you have to accept that feedbacks are in response to the most recent chapters.

If you don't want a spoiler, then don't read the most recent replies! I'm not saying I won't go to the effort of hiding spoilers, but readers have to realize that you can't blame an author if you read the last page before you've caught up to it. Is this not reasonable?
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Old 07-25-2008, 03:03 AM   #135
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Is very reasonable


*Note: Chapter 8 is out!*
[Fic] The war of the ancients, seen through the eyes of one young men, as he walks the road of destiny... The Triumvirates War

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Old 07-31-2008, 12:29 PM   #136
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Originally Posted by Darth_Yuthura View Post
I am still developing Yuhtura's apprentice and would like to know what people think before I finalize Ross's personality. I wanted to have a very capable apprentice that Yuthura would be able to handle, but I want him to be very different from her.

I had a chapter coming up where Yuthura deliberately does something that disregards modesty in order to refine Ross's perception of her. In the end, she says that maybe Ross isn't supposed to be like her. Being like her meant being able to embarrass oneself if the situation demanded it. This leaves him in an uncomfortable place after that.

Before I commit to this chapter, I would like to know if it's in Yuthura's character to show who she really is... rather than what she chooses to display.
That would depend on who she shows it to. If its just Ross then yes. To others...depends. Honestly you are the Yuthura expert here and have written a wonderful fic without my help.

Its a strange yet refreshingly new combination, Yuthura and Ross. Most stories would just have the master teaching the apprentice - again and again. Ross is very smart and quick, and while different, has good chemistry with Yuthura, as far as enjoyable reading goes. I like the whole "you aren´t meant to be like me" thing.

Glad I´m finally caught up! I eagerly await the next chapter.

-HOP



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Old 08-02-2008, 10:20 PM   #137
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3 more chapters until I'm up to date.

And I read your comment about using what you know in a fiction. I agree, always makes fictions really good.

However, most of my knowledge is basic and can't even be used in Star Wars fictions. I should have listened in Geography lol


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Old 08-03-2008, 01:46 PM   #138
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Read through the entire thing in just 2 days (yes, got too much time on my hands). Anyway, since you're looking for opinions I'll give you mine.

I find it rather impressive how you manage to build Yuthura's character so well considering that there's very little information available on her in the game. I especially like how you utilize first person to express Yuthura's personal thoughts and deliberations. When a seemingly selfless gesture is revealed to be quite egoistic in nature through that, it adds depth to a character. Your story is outstanding in that regard, imo.

As far as the plot itself is concerned..well. It's good and flows well. I'll wait to see how it unfolds. Do you intend to make it completely compatible with TSL?
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Old 08-03-2008, 03:52 PM   #139
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Thank-you for your comments and giving your compliments. I remember when I had this posted elsewhere and didn't even know if it was even being read. When I first played the game, I didn't even realize Yuthura could be turned. When I did finally save her, I was just so impressed at how believable her reasons were.

Darth Vader was not as convincing because he was simply told there was good still in him. Yuthura was asked "has anything changed?" Her anger, hate, compassion, and remorse seemingly outclassed Vader in every way. I just thought there was something lacking... she had to be so inspired by Revan that she would follow him wherever he went.

To answer Lance's question: I do intend to leave this off so that the events of TSL aren't obstructed. This story fits the canical events, but is not canical.
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Old 08-14-2008, 01:38 PM   #140
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Chapter 31

This chapter is incomplete, but I needed some feedback as to what's lacking before I can complete it. I've got the dialog nailed down well enough, but I'm lacking in certain areas.

-----

When the battle was over, the casualties were light, but the medical stations were filled and all the kolto tanks occupied... Belaya was in one of them. In almost every holovid and book I’ve read that involved war, the victors would cheer at their success. Although we held, there was no cheer... just relief that they got through another battle and lived. I could not imagine what it was like to go through five months of it.

When I went to see her... it was strange. She and I were not friends, yet when I saw her on the ground, wounded... nothing was more important than saving her life. Even after this, I still felt guilty that I didn’t act fast enough to throw away that grenade. I saw it sitting on the ground for over a second, but I didn’t act. When I finally did, I threw it for the sole purpose of getting it away from me. Even though I did save us both, I couldn’t escape the fact that she was caught in the blast radius and I wasn’t.

It wasn’t survivor’s guilt, which was always self-generated, I had a genuine reason to feel remorse for what happened. I would never forget that moment... I relived it over and over again. I knew that even if I had hesitated, I still could have thrown that grenade so both of us would have been clear of the blast radius. Instead, I threw it without thinking of Belaya. I didn’t throw it at her, but she was between me and the explosion.

When I heard that she had survived, I felt so relieved to know that I was ‘off the hook’ as some say. I was so concerned that I would be responsible for her death, but now I could take comfort in knowing I saved her... that Master Vash and I saved her.

-----

Despite being physically and mentally exhausted, I couldn’t sleep. I had hoped that seeing Belaya would give me some peace, but I just stared at her as if there were some great mystery to unravel. I was just wasting time as I stared at the consequences of my actions.

Within a few minutes, I heard some heavy footsteps tramping outside the infirmary. Along with the steps was the sound of metal scraping against clothing and armor. Although I could not directly sense his mind, I knew it was Canderous. Very few people had the ability to cloud their thoughts to a jedi without the force; Canderous was one of them.

I was very lonely... not simply because I was alone with an unconscious comrade, but because those closest to me were elsewhere. In times like these, either Alfred or Trevelyan would have been there to comfort me and help me with my troubles. Although I knew Ross, Belaya, Hayashi, and Vash; I didn’t feel I could turn to any of them. Of all the people on this base, Canderous was the closest thing I had to a friend... and I knew I needed some guidance right now.

After I heard him walk past the infirmary door, I went into the hallway and started following him. I wanted to make it seem like I was just going to the same destination he was... so that it wouldn’t seem that I wanted to bother him. I knew how much he hated long-winded talking, so I wanted to engage him without hearing him say ‘Yeah, what do you want?' in that grouchy tone.

Canderous looked like he had been in the battle earlier tonight, but hasn’t showered yet. He was wearing black fiber armor that was covered with dirt. I could smell the chemical residue from explosives and that his cloths were soaked in sweat. Those huge boots of his stamped the floor hard with each step seemingly hitting harder than what gravity would allow.

There was a heavy weapon dangling from his shoulder which brushed against his leg as it swung back and forth. The rattling of the internal components caused a rhythmic clatter each time he put one foot in front of the other. I didn’t know why, but simply observing that huge gun was intimidating... similar to the way a fear of pain is just as terrible as pain itself. Just hearing the clatter of that gun seemed to emphasize just how solid and real it was... and what it was designed to do.

I had followed him for fewer than ten paces and he turned around. “I saw you after the battle... you weren’t very stoic.”

I didn’t realize he knew I was behind him. What he said also startled me. “Stoic?”

“Yeah. You looked very timid after the fighting had ended. I could tell just by your body language that you wouldn’t have weathered the Mandalorian Wars.”

I wasn’t expecting cheerful words, but I wasn’t expecting that he would directly insult me. “Watch your tongue.” I hissed in a threatening way. “Or have you forgotten who you’re speaking to?”

He crossed his arms as if to show that my threat rolled right off his back. “Not a sith, I can say that...” Before I could react to that, he made another thing known. “...but before you give me another empty threat... I’m not ridiculing you. I just hope you realize that if you can’t handle war, you shouldn’t be here.”

‘Shouldn’t be here’? Why was he suggesting something that couldn’t be done? I agreed that I shouldn’t be on the front lines, but I had no choice... I couldn’t just walk away from my responsibilities. I didn’t know if there was anything I could say. I looked down as if in shame, but it was just for display... I really didn’t believe what he said.

He broke the silence. “We Mandalorian have lived for battle, but most jedi aren’t bred for war. I’ll give you credit for not cowering in your fortress like so many others, but if you can’t handle the pressure, you can’t lead these soldiers.”

I looked up. “I’m not leading these men. That’s why Master Vash is in command.”

He shook his head in disappointment. “You’re a jedi! It doesn’t matter whether you’re giving them orders or cleaning the trash compactor... they look up to you! If you, a jedi, display doubt or weakness, it will reflect on everyone around you. You all have to show the men confidence or they will believe they’ve already lost.”

I lowered my head for real this time at the realization that I had even greater responsibilities than I originally believed. I was not stoic and I knew that people could read my emotions like a book. After the battle had ended, I displayed to the men a very grim expression. I was glad that Belaya didn’t die, but I was so traumatized by the battle that I had no command over my emotions.

I knew he was right, but I tried to defend myself. “Canderous... what was it like for you the first time you entered a major battle? I’ve been in combat before... I’ve put my life at risk before, but this was different. You spoke of war and fighting with Revan as different...”

“The scale of the battle makes the difference. It’s one thing to see... a dozen enemies in front of you. You can gauge yourself and your adversaries; allowing you to assess exactly what you need for victory. When I fought alongside Revan, very often victory boiled down to killing all the enemies in front of us or leaving them behind so we could escape.” He gestured me to follow him. “I don’t want to stand around talking to you. I need to get some things from the armory. If you want to keep talking, you’ll have to follow me.”

I nodded and started walking along side him instead of following. I didn’t know exactly where the armory was and would have followed anyone else... but he smelled so bad that I didn’t want to be in his wake. “So the difference between a battle and a fight is based on numbers? I would think being outnumbered ten to one in a fight would be worse than being three to one in a battle.” I just came to realize the battle today was even more in our favor than anything I could imagine. “The battle waged today was four to one in our favor. I don’t understand...”

“Because you were in the heat of the battle and no one was in front of you. Imagine if you had a million Republic soldiers behind you and only a thousand sith soldiers in front. Most of those million friendly guns can’t be used because so many friends are between them and the enemy. As for those enemies... any one of those thousand guns could be aimed at you at any given moment. And because you’re between them and those friends behind you... you’re not just one in a million... soldiers on the front lines are in direct danger while those behind are often completely protected.”

“I think I get what you mean.”

“From a commander’s perspective, the thousand would achieve the greatest man for man ratio, but it’s different for one who is ordered to stand in the line of fire while your friends behind give the command.”

That didn’t answer my question. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how that applies to my situation.”

We had arrived at the armory at that point in the conversation. “My point is that that small scale battles where you can analyze your situation is much different from those where you can’t. You don’t use the same tactics for major battles as you would for an intense fight. Because there are more enemies than you can possibly fight by yourself, it’s more important to hold onto your life and those of your allies than delivering punishment to the enemy. No matter how many you kill, there would be more to take their place. And because you don’t know how long the battle will last, you must endure for as long as possible.” He grabbed his gun and displayed it to me. “You jedi really should learn to use blasters. It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s civilized... it’s simply better than running into the line of fire... not to mention easier.”

“On the contrary. The lightsaber is the most effective weapon a jedi could use. Surely we’ve proven that to you.”

“I’m not saying to get rid of it. It does have the advantage of turning an enemy’s own weapons against them. I just think it would do you well to augment it with a ranged weapon. In war, you take whatever advantage you can get, whether you expect to use it or not. If you are familiar with the weapons your enemies use, wouldn’t that compliment your skills further?”

“Perhaps. However, I don’t have the time to learn that now. Maybe after we get back, you could teach me?”

He chuckled at the thought of a jedi using a blaster. “I’m not exactly volunteering for that role. Besides, I don’t look to the future until I’ve dealt with the present. We’ve got a job to do.”

“Yeah... only problem is that I’m supposed to lead these soldiers and I don’t know how to handle myself.” I sighed in discomfort and looked around the room that was filled with more guns than I could identify. The armory had been restocked by the same vessel that brought the food and medical supplies. I could still see that many of the weapons in the back were old and had seen much battle. The newer ones were almost the same models, but had a pure black and metallic look to them. I was almost attracted at the sight of the workmanship that went into the sleek designs.

Lightsabers were not mass produced. That was partially because each jedi had a unique hilt that they were conformable with. Although Ross could easily adapt to the lightsaber I gave him, he was used to one with a longer hilt and which fit his grip. The one I had loaned him was an almost perfect cylinder that could be used for one or two hands.

The main reason for customized lightsabers came from how each jedi had their spirit in the weapon they built, so they had to have hilts that was unique like themselves. To me, a lightsaber didn’t carry a person’s spirit within them... it was just a weapon that I carried.

I only took back my old lightsaber because I knew it was a psychological issue that had been bothering me. I thought that by destroying or losing the lightsaber I attacked Alfred with, I would be erasing that from my past. Since it would always be burned in my memories, I just took it and faced that it was me... not the weapon that I hated for that unprovoked attack on my master.

My mind had wandered for a moment before Canderous was repeating himself to get my attention. “Hey! You wanted to speak to me, so either pay attention or conclude this.”

“I’m sorry. Say again?”

He sighed in frustration and turned his attention back to collecting ammunition packs. He had a duffle bag that he was stuffing with grenades, mines, and ammunition. I was surprised at how heavy the bag looked. I couldn’t imagine how even a Mandalorian could lift such loads, but he kept jamming the bag with whatever he could.

After he cleared a shelf of all the spare ammunition packs, he faced me. “I was offering you a chance to take advantage of my vast knowledge of battle and tactics. The Republic hired me for my experience. The problem is that Mandalorian don’t inspire Republic troops as much as jedi. Maybe we can help each other out?”

All too often I heard the phrase ‘help each other out.’ That usually meant one person trusting another and the other taking advantage of it. I thought this was another of those times, but I still wanted to hear what he had to say. That didn’t mean I trusted him. “What do you have in mind?” I asked.

“I’ve been in a battle very much like the one we are fighting now. Only I was leading the forces against an outpost under siege on Althir. The Republic believed that since I had experience fighting in this kind of situation that I’d be the perfect one to predict the sith’s strategy.”

I heard irony in his tone. “But...?”

“The sith aren’t using the same tactics that my commander on Althir devised. It seems that the sith commander hasn’t adjusted his tactics since the Star Forge was destroyed. Before that, all that he had to do was send whatever forces he received and not be concerned of the losses. In the last two months, he’s slowly whittled away his invasion army on these small-scale attacks.”

“If he had such a large force to begin with, then why didn’t they all go against the Republic forces in one engagement? That doesn’t seem to make sense.”

“I think that they realized that they didn’t have the numbers they once did. Now they have been launching small-scale random attacks with hit-and-run tactics. If it weren’t for the jedi, those tanks they used were likely expected to return after they caused havoc and damage. Now that they know jedi have entered the battle, they will undoubtedly will launch that full scale attack you mentioned.”

I nodded, not knowing if that was good or bad for the situation. These soldiers needed to be shipped out of here and a single engagement may be the best way to end this. However, that meant facing the full force of whatever sith army there is. “Do you have any idea how many sith troops there are? I don’t understand why this fuel station has been under siege for three months. That doesn’t seem like the kind of strategy the sith would use.”

“Like I said: the sith commander had been using tactics that would have suited the sith if the Star Forge were still churning out ships for their war effort. We don’t have an exact count, but the Republic ship had scanned the size of the sith garrison and estimated the Sith began with roughly 10,000. Through sheer stupidity and poor tactics, that number has dwindled to anywhere between 2 and 4 thousand. Their fighters have all been lost, but they still have at least a hundred armored vehicles... those are the greatest threat because they can only be destroyed by explosives or heavy cannons. And the Republic was so kind as to not provide any to replace what has been destroyed or spent.”

I thought the odds were overwhelming. I could not imagine a battle where a thousand demoralized and exhausted troops could fend off four times their number. Those tanks were so powerful that I could not imagine these guys taking on a hundred of them as well. Canderous seemed so calm that I couldn’t understand why he could say all that like he was describing the weather.

Then I realized that he never answered my original question. “You spoke of helping each other out. What does that have to do with it?”

He seemed irritated at that and reacted in a very grouchy way. “Hey listen sister! You asked another question before I could answer the first! I think there is a way to gain a tactical advantage over the remaining sith forces, but your Master Vash is too afraid to dispatch a covert mission into the Sith garrison.”

“A covert mission? What do you have in mind?”

Canderous looked around as if he were about to tell me a secret. He softly spoke, but did not whisper. “You’ve been getting a few of those fighters battle-ready. How many can you have armed by tomorrow?”

“Four... maybe five, but I’m not the one in charge of the repair efforts.”

He looked disappointed. “That’s not many, but it may be enough to take out a third of their armored vehicles. The problem is that the sith garrison is undoubtedly protected by air defense towers. Type 14 fighters are very effective against ground forces, but are vulnerable to air defense systems. If someone could take out one or even two AD towers, those few fighters would be able to lay waste to ground forces almost without limit.”

I didn’t like where this was going. If there was going to be a covert mission, it would be done by a jedi. I was the most likely candidate for obvious reasons, but that wouldn’t matter if there was not going to be a mission in which to participate.

Now I was drawn between two incentives. I wanted to get out of this place alive, but that likely wouldn’t happen unless I convinced Master Vash to launch this mission. However, if did that, then I would be placing myself in the heart of the enemy’s encampment. The tattoos I still bared were only one thing that made me the logical choice. The other things was the fact that I still haven’t been discovered by the sith yet. It is very likely that my sith access codes were still valid... allowing me to get just about anywhere and everywhere within the enemy’s base.

My mind had wandered again and Canderous had to get my attention again. “So you know what you need to do? I need you to persuade Master Vash to launch a covert mission to infiltrate the sith’s base and disable the AD systems. If that could be done before the sith dispatch their forces, Republic fighters would have a huge advantage over the artillery that are just sitting out in the open.”

“So how would I do that?”

“The AD towers the sith have used are autonomous units equipped with their own power and shield generators. If a jedi could infiltrate the sith base and place an explosive charge on or near the towers’ generators, they could be disabled. The problem is that the one infiltrating the base can’t carry very much more than a few kilograms of explosives without disrupting the stealth field. The one going in will need to know what they’re doing, or the small charges won’t be enough.” He said as he grabbed a small explosive device about the size of a grenade and showed it to me.

I sighed heavily at hearing the details of the mission just getting better and better. “You also would have to find one brave enough to attempt something like that... and a stealth generator would not be required. I could just walk right in and no one would suspect me.”

“So it’s going to be you who goes in?”

I just looked at him as if to say ‘why would it be anyone else?’ Then I swung my arm to snatch the explosive from his hand. After a moment of examining it, I kept my eyes on the device, but answered his question. “Obviously. However, I’m not a demolitions expert.” I raised my head as another problem came to my mind. “Not only that, but Master Vash hasn’t approved anything. We only have two fighters ready to fly, but the others have yet to be made battle-ready. This whole thing depends on a lot of ‘if’s.’ You realize that?”

“That’s why you have to find Master Vash and convince her to do this. It is important that we go on the offensive, or the sith forces will overwhelm us. The sooner we begin preparing for this, the more likely we will succeed.”

“Alright. I’ll tell her first thing in the morning.”

I turned around to leave, but he firmly grabbed my shoulder so that I would turn myself around as I walked away. “You don’t understand what I just said... she needs to approve this immediately. The sith are likely to attack tomorrow evening, so we need to have everything ready before then. Go and find her. If she’s asleep, then wake her.”

I sighed heavily. I was exhausted and wanted to go to sleep, but I knew I would have to get back to helping the mechanics after Master Vash approved the plan. Then after that, I would have yet another job to do.

Although I wanted sleep, I saw the consequences were too great to give in. “Very well. I’ll go get her authorization now. What are you going to do?”

He looked at me, confused. “Me?”

“It is your plan. You should come along as well.”

“Vash would be more likely to listen to a jedi than a Mandalorian. If you make it seem as though you had the same idea as I did, then it’d be more convincing. Besides, I’ve got to get these...” He gestured to the duffle bag stuffed with blaster packs and grenades. “...to troops that need them. I've got my own duties to worry about."

As he slid the bag off the counter, it was too heavy for him and it hit the floor. The fall tore the bag open and everything spilled all over the floor.

As he started cursing in Mandalorian, I was trying hard not to laugh. It was not something I would like happening to me, but it was amusing to see that happen after he spent so much effort loading the bag. I knew he couldn't lift it, but he was so sure of his strength that he didn't think that far ahead.

He got on the floor to start picking of the mess, but then looked at me. "Would you mind?" He gestured to the pile.

I finally broke a smile and turned towards the door. "I've got my own duties to attend to. Like you said; time was critical." As I walked out, I could only imagine the look on him that I wouldn't help with such a trivial thing. I knew it was a childish thing to just walk out, but as far as I was concerned; I didn't make that mess and certainly wasn't going to clean it up.

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Old 08-14-2008, 02:25 PM   #141
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it's been read!

I really like how Yuthura and Canderous have become 'friends'. In some respects I could see how they'd get along, but at the same time they're so different.

Great descriptions, very convincing dialogue, and overall, a brilliant piece.

Do you feel better now that you've posted it?


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Old 08-14-2008, 02:32 PM   #142
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it's been read!

I really like how Yuthura and Canderous have become 'friends'. In some respects I could see how they'd get along, but at the same time they're so different.

Great descriptions, very convincing dialogue, and overall, a brilliant piece.

Do you feel better now that you've posted it?
Maybe... I'd feel better if someone else could improve upon it. Then again, this is my story. Now I've got another action piece in front of me... how do you think I feel about that?

I appreciate knowing someone has read it and called it 'brilliant.' What did you think about the war/fight ratio?
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Old 08-14-2008, 02:44 PM   #143
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I think you have a very good way for weaponry and warfare terminology, and that made the battle chapter very realistic. Although I think some more description could have gone into it, I really liked how you described the 'quickness' of it all, and especially after the grenade detonated

Got any shooting/war games? Like Halo? That might get you in the mood to write another war scene. I always set chapters up like that.


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Old 08-14-2008, 03:12 PM   #144
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I think you have a very good way for weaponry and warfare terminology, and that made the battle chapter very realistic. Although I think some more description could have gone into it, I really liked how you described the 'quickness' of it all, and especially after the grenade detonated

Got any shooting/war games? Like Halo? That might get you in the mood to write another war scene. I always set chapters up like that.
I've got Jedi Knight 2/3. My only issue with this is that actions are very simple and keeping track of it step by step is difficult. Even when I try to diversify the attacks and list all the possible actions the player can take, it's difficult to articulate the actions and put them into words.

The last battle was aimed at trying to see how things can go wrong and avoid repeating the same actions when possible. The Ross lightsaber thing was a simple miscommunication that could result in a very intense situation. I also assumed that people often follow a plan and then see a better one... such as the adhesive grenade attack changing.

I also tried to imagine what it would be like to be in a battle... a warfare battle and trying to understand why Yuthura would not have fared well. She did risk her life before, but never while alongside others. This is a new thing for her almost entirely.
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:25 PM   #145
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That last chapter is HAWT.

This fic could make a good mod to play through, if anyone were suicidal enough to try and make it.

How long are you planning on making this fic?




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Old 08-14-2008, 03:40 PM   #146
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That last chapter is HAWT.

This fic could make a good mod to play through, if anyone were suicidal enough to try and make it.

How long are you planning on making this fic?
This story has already extended far beyond what I expected to do. I suppose that as long as I have ideas and avoid repetition, this story could continue without limit.

Although I already have an ending set, I am not yet ready to start that final story arc. I still have a number of things I want to go through before that happens. The ending is still a long ways off... that's all I'll say.
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:07 AM   #147
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Good read! I like Candy's idea. I eagerly await the next chapter.

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Old 08-15-2008, 02:02 AM   #148
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I've got Jedi Knight 2/3. My only issue with this is that actions are very simple and keeping track of it step by step is difficult. Even when I try to diversify the attacks and list all the possible actions the player can take, it's difficult to articulate the actions and put them into words.

The last battle was aimed at trying to see how things can go wrong and avoid repeating the same actions when possible. The Ross lightsaber thing was a simple miscommunication that could result in a very intense situation. I also assumed that people often follow a plan and then see a better one... such as the adhesive grenade attack changing.

I also tried to imagine what it would be like to be in a battle... a warfare battle and trying to understand why Yuthura would not have fared well. She did risk her life before, but never while alongside others. This is a new thing for her almost entirely.
You could always ask those of us who know, kid,


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Old 08-18-2008, 05:13 PM   #149
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Maybe... I'd feel better if someone else could improve upon it. Then again, this is my story. Now I've got another action piece in front of me... how do you think I feel about that?

I appreciate knowing someone has read it and called it 'brilliant.' What did you think about the war/fight ratio?
The war to fight ratio was IMO the most interesting part of the chapter. You portrayed Canderous' knowledge of war very well. I thought that chapter was pretty complete, what do you think it lacked?

I like the whole secret military strike. It will be intersting to see if Vash signs off on it...Can't wait for the next chapter!

~HOP



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Old 08-19-2008, 12:11 AM   #150
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The war to fight ratio was IMO the most interesting part of the chapter. You portrayed Canderous' knowledge of war very well. I thought that chapter was pretty complete, what do you think it lacked?

I like the whole secret military strike. It will be intersting to see if Vash signs off on it...Can't wait for the next chapter!

~HOP
If I knew what it lacked, I wouldn't be asking now... would I? I just sense that there is a piece of the story not being told and that... I was hoping to display Yuthura as clearly not made for war, but Canderous making her feel better by saying that she came while Vrook cowered away.

The bit I was missing was how Canderous said courage was a great thing to have, but it did not define a warrior. There have been many courageous people whom have died... none of them were special. I wanted him to compliment Yuthura for her courage, but convince her that if she isn't capable of sustaining herself in war, that she get out of there.

More will be know in the next chapter.

Thanks for reading.

-DY
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Old 08-19-2008, 12:32 AM   #151
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Haha, yeah I suppose it was not a good question huh? I guess it was a brain fart on my part. What I had ment, was generally what it lacked, like emotion, suspense etc. I think you made it clear what Canderous thought about Yuthura and battle. It was clear to me anyway. You have done a good job of displaying Yuthura as capable yet a novice of war - something that I think is a difficult thing to show, but you did it!

Ah, addition noted. I like Canderous' war theories. Makes him deeper then the stereotypical hack an slash Mandelorian.

~HOP



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Old 08-19-2008, 05:34 PM   #152
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I think you made it clear what Canderous thought about Yuthura and battle. It was clear to me anyway. You have done a good job of displaying Yuthura as capable yet a novice of war - something that I think is a difficult thing to show, but you did it!

Ah, addition noted. I like Canderous' war theories. Makes him deeper then the stereotypical hack an slash Mandelorian.

~HOP
I appreciate your feedback. Comments about more specific aspects help me to know what catch a reader's attention and what repels them. I do try to go beyond the surface of a subject and evaluate the baser causes of emotion and beliefs.

I've been considering working with Master Vrook to display him as a more complex individual than the standard hate-filled guy I displayed in the first few chapters. Most of the characters I have are a bit too complex while others are too simple, but I try to give all of them a purpose for Yuthura to reflect upon.

In this case, a non-force user showed her that being a jedi often doesn't make up for what can only be learned through experience. For her to understand war, she must also go through it like any non-jedi.
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Old 08-20-2008, 09:46 PM   #153
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First of all, I want to say this is my first post here.

Yuthura, I have to say, I love this story. When I played Knights the first time, Yuthura became one of my favorites, instantly. For a "minor" role, she invoked sympathy and a desire to help. Even on subsequent run-throughs, including the requisite "dark side", I could never bring myself to strike her down, or even double cross her.

This story is excellent. My one piece of criticism, is in regards to your last few chapters. I personally don't know any affiliation anyone here has, I haven't seen any comments regarding such, but I (from what I've read) don't think anyone here is in the military. I could be wrong, I know, but I didn't read anyone stating that they serve. The following criticism comes from the fact I'm active duty.

My issue is in regards to the Republic troops' morale, and state of mind. We serve, willingly. Yes, our forward deployments are supposed to be for "x" amount of time, but before we go, we always know it can last longer. Things could go wrong. Reinforcements may not come. But, we don't hate the military or the government for it. As a "grunt", I know I don't know the full logistic or strategic reasoning for combat or deployment maneuvers. I don't know enough of everything else to make an educated assement. Yes, we can get demoralized, even mad at the situation, but in that event, we welcome every bit of help we can get.

The other issue is the men who tried to sabotage the plant. Master Vash was worried about the men who died, but in a case of mutiny/sabotage, any personel found involved in said acts would be brought up on charges of treason.

Now that I gave my criticism, I have some advice, coming from a soldier. Ease off on the anger from the troops. After the skirmish going their way, the fact that the Jedi were on the front lines, not cowering in the outpost, there would be a very changed atmosphere. Not a celebration, mind you. After all, they're still stationed there. But relief, appreciation, guilt for earlier outbursts, that kind of thing. I put myself in Mendoza's boots for a moment:

"I'm tired, living on rations, watched half of my fellows, my friends...my family....die. Yes, I'm mad at the higher ups for not getting us out of there sooner, I shoulda been gone over a month ago! Now, some jedi princess comes on, with little jedis followering her around, she takes over my boss' job, and I still have to be here?! Well....they did bring food...and clothes....and kolto. We can get proper medical treatment...at least.....and real meals again....and that purple twi'lek did help me move those supplies...on top of assisting the mechanics with the fighters....and she took out a few of those tanks...."

If I were a soldier on that rock, especially if I had an outburst like him, I'd feel guilty as ****. I would go out of my way to make the jedi know I was sorry, and truely thankful for the supplies. After the adrenaline rush of the skirmish was over, morale would definately be better, because we actually got something done, and we got some real help.

Other than that, I love it! I feel you captured the Knights characters very well, from Juhani's anger to Canderous' gruff, tell-it-as-it-is attitude. I could truly see the Yuthura from the video game continuing in this manner. Keep up the good work!
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Old 08-20-2008, 11:12 PM   #154
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My issue is in regards to the Republic troops' morale, and state of mind. We serve, willingly. Yes, our forward deployments are supposed to be for "x" amount of time, but before we go, we always know it can last longer. Things could go wrong. Reinforcements may not come. But, we don't hate the military or the government for it. As a "grunt", I know I don't know the full logistic or strategic reasoning for combat or deployment maneuvers. I don't know enough of everything else to make an educated assement. Yes, we can get demoralized, even mad at the situation, but in that event, we welcome every bit of help we can get.

The other issue is the men who tried to sabotage the plant. Master Vash was worried about the men who died, but in a case of mutiny/sabotage, any personel found involved in said acts would be brought up on charges of treason.

Other than that, I love it! I feel you captured the Knights characters very well, from Juhani's anger to Canderous' gruff, tell-it-as-it-is attitude. I could truly see the Yuthura from the video game continuing in this manner. Keep up the good work!
I greatly appreciate the feedback! Welcome to the forums! And thanks for your services to the US. I recognize that your opinions on war have greater validity than mine, so I would appreciate a cross-reference.

First, the mutiny... I meant to have a subplot that continued from that, but it didn't take off. I have to change that.

The issue with the time restrictions comes from another fiction where troops on the front line are rotated after only 90 days. That's not like a tour when a soldier is stationed and is not always in the heat of battle. In addition, the fact that the Republic would send supplies to ensure the troops would be able to stay there for as much as another three months would have to be hard. After two months beyond the original expectations with the assumption of being pulled out when the supplies were replenished, wouldn't that upset you? I would have considered it like the upper officers were able to recognize their troops needed food, but that they forgot to ship them out of danger.

After seeing over half the people die around you and being told you could very well be there for months beyond my obligation would make me protest. I would rather be court martialled than take my chances indefinitely. (I mean undetermined... not exactly forever) If an officer of higher rank defiles their own rules, then why should those below feel they should are still to be followed? The chain of command is broken if an officer defiles the rules that give him his command.

When Yuthura demanded Vrook punish himself along with her group, (given that he was also a part of it) was that unreasonable? Although it was within his rights to do so, he did not set the example that the 'one for all and all for one' idea that the exercise emphasized. Would you have objected if you knew others would back you in that situation?

Does this make sense, or would I end up doing about a thousand pushups for my such a statement?

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Old 08-20-2008, 11:53 PM   #155
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I greatly appreciate the feedback! Welcome to the forums!

First, the mutiny... I meant to have a subplot that continued from that, but it didn't take off. I have to change that.

The issue with the time restrictions comes from another fiction where troops on the front line are rotated after only 90 days. That's not like a tour when a soldier is stationed and is not always in the heat of battle. In addition, the fact that the Republic would send supplies to ensure the troops would be able to stay there for as much as another three months would have to be hard. After two months beyond the original expectations with the assumption of being pulled out when the supplies were replenished, wouldn't that upset you? I would have considered it like the upper officers were able to recognize their troops needed food, but that they forgot to ship them out of danger.

After seeing over half the people die around you and being told you could very well be there for months beyond my obligation would make me protest. I would rather be court martialled than take my chances indefinitely. (I mean undetermined... not exactly forever) If an officer of higher rank defiles their own rules, then why should those below feel they should as well? It's not the chain of command anymore if an officer breaks the rules that give him command.

Does this make sense, or would I end up doing about a thousand pushups for my such a statement?
Thank you for the warm reception.

With your extra input, I can definately sympathise with the troops a little more. My critique came from my experiences and training, personally, which I'll give a little more info on, so you know how I came to my conclusions. I'm in the Air Force, and our deployments to the warzone are supposed to be a certain amount of time. While I'm not trained as a front liner, in fact I'm a maintainer of our jets, I serve in the convoys next to our Army bretheren if needed. My deployments to our war-zone is actually very similar to the troops in your story, being away from the "front lines" but still dealing with artillery, skirmishes, and a blasted, life-barren landscape. Your story is more "worst-case scenario" than I deal with, but the initial situation is very similar.

To directly answer your questions. If I were in their place, particularly, say, Mendoza's, yes, I would be mad as **** with those circumstances thrusted on me. But, this is where military training comes in. I know that the Old Republic armed forces aren't the US military, but I would infer some basic doctrine would be simliar, if not the same. I always gathered that their forces are volunteer, like ours. From day one in basic, we are indoctrinated with following legitmate and legal orders. In blunt terms, it's "shut up and collar". If my squadron was in their position, been there for almost twice as long as we should have been, and are resupplied to stay another term, yes we would be upset, demoralized, and all around pissed off. But, in the end, we would grit down, bear it, and pray no more of us die. There are respectful, legitimate methods of showing our displeasure through proper channels, which would not get us in trouble. Mendoza, if he were in our military, would definately have been reprimanded for his outburst. Not a courtmartial, after all we are all human. But he would have gotten in some trouble.

That's not saying we can't break. It can happen. And sometimes(I'm personally guilty of this) we lose our military bearing and snap. We get reprimanded, and depending on the circumstances, the punishment can be quite minimal, such as a stern talking to behind closed doors, usually leading to some form of public apology for the outburst. In the end, though, our duty is to still follow the orders given to us. It's how we show our displeasure that counts.

As for the leader following rules....this is a little more tricky. When I read the chapter where the mutiny is mentioned, *I* read it as a group of men got so fed up, they tried to sabotage the facility. The commander, in response, had to break a couple "standard policies" to prevent the entire plant from going up in flames, which would have wiped out the entire base. In doing so, 200 men got killed(among who, I presume are the saboteurs). If I read that chapter correctly, the the Commander did the right thing. He is given authority to get the job done. The losses, though tragic, are...well...part of the job. If the deaths, or damage, were excessive to stopping the problem, he would be held accountable for that, though. And, any sabateurs that were alive would be court martialed, of course.

Now, if I read it wrong, and the commander was responsible for the sabotage in the first place, then there is a whole different ball of yarn. He would be court martialed for disobeying orders, sabotage, treason, the deaths of the men under him. And, while they may have been following orders, any men directly involved in the sabotage under his order would also be court martialed. We in the military are required to follow the legal orders of our superiors. If our commander ordered us to sabotage the plant, because we wanted to get home, we would be accountable. The only way that the men directly responsible, if so ordered, would be cleared is if they were misled to believe that the enemy was about to overrun the base, and they had to ensure the enemy could not use the plant.

As for Yuthura demanding Vrook to punish himself, I found that part hillarious, and personally agree with her demand. Only in basic training(boot camp) did the leader not join in on group punishments....but basic is more than physical training. It's a mental and emotional break-down of the civilians going into the military, to be rebuilt into Airmen, Soldiers, and Sailors. Since basic, if there was a group punishment, such as mandatory 12+ hour shifts, or being called in on a weekend for a commander's call for some stupid person getting a DUI, all our supervision was there with us. If a person messes up and needs to go see our commander for something, his direct supervisor is right there with him. The Jedi and US Military have a similar mindset of our superiors answering for those under them(whenever a Master is held accountable for his padewan's errors). The fact that, as far as I could ever tell, the Jedi order is more of a private club than a recognized military orginization would allow Vrook to try and demand such a punishment, and Yuthura's demand of him would be totally justified.

Now, of course, when all is said and done, this is your story, Yuthura. It's a great read, and if your version of the Old Republic military doesn't match the current US Armed Forces, then there's nothing wrong with it. I just wanted to give you a little "inside the mind" of a military person.
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Old 08-21-2008, 08:01 AM   #156
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I again appreciate your comments. Since I have not served in the US military, I am expecting to get certain aspects in this story wrong. I have had football practice... which has a few cross-references. And I hated it when they punished the entire group fro the acts of one individual. I was angry at the time and didn't get the point, but as I became older and wiser, I realized that I was angry because the coaches didn't follow through with the punishment, themselves.

I like getting accurate feedback on people's mindsets. I may go back and drastically change the RS 159 chapter. I can only imagine what it is like to be in despair, but having to hide it from others when all you want is to be elsewhere.
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Old 08-24-2008, 09:48 AM   #157
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Chapter 32: Final Preparations

Master Vash wasn’t too thrilled to be awoken. She was clad only in her undergarments except for the coat she had covered herself with... I could tell just by the way she gripped it. I suppose that she had a strong sense of modesty, but knew that anyone disrupting her in the middle of the night was likely bringing something urgent. All she could do was throw her coat on and answer the door as quickly as possible.

When she saw that it was me, she glared at me as if to silently say ‘this had better be good.’ That was not exactly the kind of thing I expected from one who could hide her emotions while another’s life was in her hands. I suppose that anyone who had just been in a deep sleep would not be fully aware of her surroundings; she was extremely groggy.

After a few minutes of explaining the situation, Master Vash realized that she was not going to get anymore sleep that night. She invited me into her quarters to discuss my plan further. I insisted that she get dressed first, but she said that it didn’t matter to her.

Although I didn’t really care one way or another, I knew what it was like to be exposed in front of others. I didn’t expect a master would be so comfortable as one such as I. “Master Vash... your sense of modesty is very apparent. Are you just too proud to admit it, or is there some other reason that you are gripping your cloak like your life depended on it?”

She looked as if I had insulted her, but then realized there was no point in trying to hide it. Since I had insisted, she asked for a minute and I was glad she did. Her body language reminded me much of the way new slaves acted when they were taken from their old lives. Omeesh often took people who were not bred as slaves, but who simply owed money to the Exchange.

Most Twi’lek women were raised explicitly to be sold, so they were used to being scantily clad. That was not common among people that had lives before being captured and sold. Because most were taught that they were their own person, the transition to belonging to a Hutt was a painful one. Somehow, watching Master Vash being concerned with modesty reminded me of the non-twi’lek slaves. Most had lives before they were captured and enslaved.

I stood in the hallway for about a minute before Master Vash returned, fully dressed. It was odd how my attention went from Canderous’s plan to something that was quite irrelevant, but at least Master Vash would not be distracted anymore. The whole idea with modesty was not good or bad unless one makes it an issue... and I didn’t want to confront it while something critical was ahead.

The lights in her quarters were at a fairly dim setting, but it was more than enough to see the room. The quarters were very Spartan compared to those in the enclave, but they were much more desirable than the survival shelters outside. Those cheap tents had been sheltering those thousand troops for months. They provided no luxuries at all, but they were enough to protect them against the elements.

The walls of Vash’s quarters were made of duracrete, but the carpeting increased its livability. If the floor had also been made of duracrete, the room would have looked like a prison cell. Of course, these quarters for all the station’s personnel were not made for comfort... just privacy and a place to sleep. That was often enough.

The only furniture in the room were a bed, a footlocker, a small table, and a matching chair. Vash had a robe that was just thrown on the floor next to her bed. I noticed that it was stained with blood... likely Belaya’s. She had duffle bag on top of the footlocker that still was not unpacked. On the table was a stack of data pads and a mess of junk a bureaucrat would likely have on her desk. The room was not I expected to see from a Jedi Master, but I’m sure that she didn’t put much concern in the condition of her living space.

Vash had pulled back the chair so that the table was between it and the bed. She picked up the stack of pads and brushed everything to one side of the table. She gestured me to sit down and she used the bed to sit across from me. “Okay... you told me about taking out the air defense towers. How would you infiltrate the sith base without a stealth generator?”

I shrugged my shoulders as if to gesture to myself. “I wouldn’t need one. Officially, I’m still a sith with all the rights and privileges that go with the rank of a master. I could just blend in and no one would suspect.”

She crossed her arms and gently shook her head. “That sounds dangerous. That still hinges on whether or not the sith declared everyone on Korriban dead. You were the head of the academy there... surely someone is bound to recognize you.”

I gently nodded, but was confident that I wouldn’t be known. “Uthar was the head master. Few would have known the second in command unless they took his place. And even if I am questioned, I could always say that I wasn’t on Korriban when the massacre happened. Or I could just say that I was the last sith standing. I also have the authorization to get almost anywhere I need to be, so I would be the logical choice.”

She raised her hand to ensure I didn’t get ahead of myself. “That in itself is still a long shot in my opinion. If you aren’t successful, the pilots we send in would not stand a chance if even one of the AD towers are not taken out. This whole thing sounds too great for any one person to accomplish within the time restraints. I also don’t want anyone to go into an enemy stronghold alone.”

“Master Vash...”

She interrupted me. “I cannot order you to do this, but if you are willing, you must coordinate your actions based on what I decide. Which means that if you are sent in, you can’t contact us after that and you won’t be allowed to abort your mission. Once you’re committed, you will remain there until the job is done. If you cannot abide by that, you must make it known now. This is a volunteer mission, but if you decide to do it, you must do everything that is required of you. Do you understand?”

I don’t know why, but hearing those words made the situation worse than it already seemed. ‘Everything that is required’? That sounded like a business agreement to a Hutt. With every deal to them comes more than was bargained for. I knew never to agree to such deals with an open end on my side. “What exactly do you mean by ‘everything’?”

She looked towards the floor for a moment before facing me directly again. “I had something else in mind, but if you would be infiltrating the sith encampment... could you also retrieve information on the sith’s battle plans?”

“I suppose, but I have no idea whether or not that I can do it... at least without drawing attention to myself. Besides, I don’t think such plans would be of any use if they are attacked by the fighters.”

She shook her head. “No. I was intending to coordinate that attack based on whatever information you could retrieve. If you could determine when the attack begins, the sith forces would organize every unit they had into a single column. Instead of attacking while their units are under the cover of armored hangers, they would be completely exposed, but not yet underway. Those four fighters we have could take out a significant number of their armored vehicles and demoralize their troops enough to balance the tide of battle in our favor.”

I didn’t appreciate all that she was telling me. She didn’t seem to recognize that it was only making things worse by defining exactly what would not happen if I didn’t volunteer. It was one thing to be directly responsible for hundreds of deaths, but it was another to simply stand by and watch them die... knowing I could have done something to reduce the number of victims.

I knew exactly how many I’ve directly murdered, but the number of people who I’ve saved would always remain unknown. I know I influenced millions of people on Kuril by destroying those sith weapons, but I also caused deaths that wouldn’t have occurred because of me. Although I had influenced more people of Kuril than most jedi do in a lifetime, it didn’t seem as significant as I would have believed. Since I didn’t know how many people had lived or died as a result of my actions, I was left with a sense of mediocrity.

Although the impact of my actions were obvious, I would never know just how many lives I saved. The casualties in the first month of their war resulted in nearly 2 million... those lives were a result of my actions. If one side had the advanced weapons that the other didn’t, the casualties would have been much greater. It still left me with an erie feeling that I had a part in that war. I tried to dismiss those thought by realizing that those millions on Kuril chose their fate, but just being a part of it left me without an account of my actions.

Master Vash recognized that I was in a difficult position. As the commander of the forces protecting the station, she had a responsibility to save as many lives as possible. At the same time, she didn’t want to gamble on the success of one person. The eight who would be flying those fighters were going to depend on me. The rest of the troops who were left to fight an enemy force three times their size depended on me to do as much as possible to weaken the enemy’s strength. Much depended on me and I didn’t fully embrace what I was getting myself into.

She finally made the decision for me. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to take that risk. If it’s too much for you to handle, then it would be best not gamble anyone’s lives.”

I wanted so much to accept her final decision, but I knew that I was capable... I simply didn’t want to go through with it. I knew it was possible that I would be discovered, but the thought of fighting such a massive force of sith soldiers with so few exhausted and demoralized Republic troops was even worse. I knew that everyone’s best chance depended on me.

Before Vash could say anymore, I stood up and told her what needed to be done. “I know I can do it. If I don’t, we would have to face an overwhelming force that would result in terrible losses. If our few fighters can make that much difference, then I must give them that chance.”

She looked as if she wanted to believe me, but knew it was against her better judgment. However, she knew that the risks to myself and the pilots were much smaller than the Republic forces facing an entire legion of sith troops. And since I was volunteering, Vash nodded very gently. “If we do this, then our forces must be prepared well before a sith task force can be assembled. You would have to go in before they can deploy their forces.” She looked at her clock to see that it was 01:22 hours. “You’ve been working on the fighters. When were you expecting for them all to be ready?”

“I heard that four were expected to be armed and ready later today. I don’t know exactly when.”

Vash stood up as though she were rushed for time. I could tell she was already in the mindset that the mission was on. “I need you to report to the hanger and determine how quickly your group can complete the work. Whatever resources or personnel you need are at your disposal.” I nodded and turned to leave, but she gently grabbed my shoulder before I reached the door. “You’re also going to need to be rested before then. If you can designate work from yourself to another, then do so. I’ll wake the other jedi and I’ll be on duty for as long as you need.”

I nodded. “I’ll need every mechanic on duty or off to be in the hanger. When do they need to be ready?”

“There is no finite deadline. The sooner they can fly is the more likely we can catch the sith when they’re vulnerable. We’ll deal with the time of the attack when you give me your assessment.” She grabbed her cloak and one of the data pads on the table. “Alright, let’s go.”

-----

Natasha’s team looked very groggy when they first entered the hanger, but after telling them what I had in mind seemed to invigorate their spirits. Although most had already invested a full day of work that would normally drain a non-jedi, they were working harder and faster than when they started. Some of them got only two or three hours of sleep, but they had more energy than ever before.

After months of wondering when they were going to be able to leave RS 159, the mechanics saw their greatest chance emerge within the course of a few hours. They were more dedicated to their jobs than I had hoped. After only half an hour, a third fighter was assembled and ready to fly. Natasha projected that the fourth would be completed within five hours.

When I thought I had completed my part for the fighter assembly, I intended to rest for a few hours. When I told Natasha that her team could finish the job without me, she said that there may be enough left to assemble a fifth ship. That was not something I was glad to hear, as it would mean forgoing those few hours of sleep I would have needed.

When Master Vash came to evaluate our status, Ross and Hayashi were with her. I didn’t know why they were awake... it wasn’t like they would have been of any use to the repairs or the mission. I didn’t know how to explain the status of a fifth fighter, but Master Vash had to know.

Master Vash was speaking to Hayashi about another issue, but I couldn’t hear exactly what they were talking about. Before she had reached my position, she handed a data pad to him and he bowed to her.

While on his way across the hanger, Hayashi looked at me and smiled as if to give me his praise. When I saw that look, it reminded me of how far I’ve come since I returned from the sith. When he first saw me return wearing sith tattoos, he stared as though expecting treachery from the only sith to ever return to the Order. Now that I was going back, he smiled at me. If the situation was not ironic, then it would almost seem as though he were glad that I was leaving.

Before he disappeared from my sight, Master Vash approached. “I heard that the ships were expected to be ready in a few hours. Well done.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t me. They just want to leave, so they’ll push themselves to do whatever it takes.” I looked at Ross and came to the realization that I never directly told him of what I was about to do. It must not have been pleasant to hear it from Master Vash instead of me. I faced him. “I’m sorry Ross, but I’m going to have to abandon you for a while.”

He crossed his arms defiantly. Master Vash glanced back at him and then faced me, smiling. “When do you expect that fifth fighter to be ready?”

I originally wasn’t going to say anything about that, but since she brought it up, I had to tell her that I didn’t have the energy to keep working. “I’m afraid that even if we could repair a fifth, I wouldn’t have anymore energy after that point. I need some sleep before I go in. I also don’t think any other jedi could take my place since they don’t have the skills to do so.”

Vash looked a bit disappointed, but nodded and accepted the truth. “I suppose it’s all the same. Since we were already short on pilots...”

“There aren’t enough pilots?” I asked.

She nodded. “Most of the dedicated fighter pilots have been pulled out once their ships were lost. We’ve had to recruit anyone with any flight experience, but there are only so many who qualify.”

“I do have flight experience, but I’ve never flown a ship into combat. Are you suggesting that I take part in the fighter battle?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Considering that you would be in the heart of the sith’s encampment, you would know exactly where to strike and what other defenses the sith base may have. If you could bring another fighter online, there would be no one left to fly it.”

I smiled at the thought of being given my own fighter, but before I could even consider it, I had to know if it was even an option. Natasha said that they MIGHT be able to assemble another fighter from the parts that remained from the ones we scrapped. Even if there were, that would also mean more work for me in the next few hours and less time to rest.

If I were a true jedi, I would not have let my mind be clouded with visions of leading a flight of fighters as fast as possible. Doing overheads to encourage troops, going mach 2 at a few hundred meters to scare the enemy, and the glory of success. I knew that all those holovids I’ve seen were fictional, but the thought of me actually being behind the controls of one made me forget about the burdens that it carried.

I didn’t consider that at the time, so I stood with my back straight as a soldier would to their commanding officer. I proudly declared, “You can count on me! I’ll take that fighter when it is operational.”

Master Vash didn’t smile, but she didn’t react any differently when I accepted yet another role in the upcoming strike. She stepped back so that I and Ross were both in her sight. “In that case, I will have to brief you on your objectives first. I would like to ensure you can take down those AD towers than to sacrifice preparations for another fighter.”

I just had a gut-wrenching feeling. She looked as though she were addressing both me and Ross. I had hoped that it was just my imagination, but I had to ensure that she was only addressing me. “Wait... is there something going on that I’m not aware of?”

Vash and Ross looked at me as though they didn’t understand what I was referring to. They couldn’t possibly be naive enough to assume that Ross was coming with me, but Vash gave me a confused look that seemed to answer my question. She had to have assumed that I intended Ross to accompany me.

Before she could ask what I was talking about, I answered the question first. “No! You can’t be implying that he’s coming with me.”

“It’s not expected that a Master leave an apprentice in the face of danger. You also can’t go into the sith encampment alone... two of you stand a much greater chance than one.”

“Wrong! I would have enough trouble as it is watching my own back. I can’t afford to be watching over another. This is a covert operation... I can avoid attention because I’m officially a sith to their ID scanners. Ross...”

Vash completed the sentence for me. “...Is your apprentice. Is there anything conspicuous about that?”

My jaw was hanging in disbelief. I did not see how anyone would think to force that... child on me. I agreed to train him; not to have him attached to me. “This is war! There is no time for training when our lives are at stake! I can’t afford to be burdened by him if I have a job to complete!”

Hearing me shout against him was not easy for Ross to hear. I remember what it was like when I was forced upon another. Hearing Alfred say that I made his duty more difficult when he didn’t know I was listening was painful. It was like he insulted me, but never had to courage to say it directly. I knew later that it wasn’t meant to hurt me, but I could not deny that I burdened him greatly... just because he was obligated to me.

When I had started training students on Korriban, I had never allowed myself to be burdened by students. If they were too weak to deal with their own problems, then what should I have been expected to do? I just brushed them aside as I was doing to Ross. Only this time, I was doing it for his sake... and mine.

Fear was very visible in his expression. “Master... Yuthura... I wasn’t intending to just tag along. I’m expecting to enter danger. I’m willing to go with you. And I know the consequences of being discovered.” He took a deep breath as if he had to force it into his lungs. “You have a better chance if you have another with you. I don’t think they’d suspect me... I could pass off as your apprentice you’d have someone to watch your back... create diversions... anything you can’t do alone.”

Master Vash had turned her attention from Ross to me. She looked at me as Alfred had when I left him and the jedi behind. Her expression and that of my apprentice reminded me much of that day. To complete the simile, I was about to confront the sith like I had so long ago...

In the end, my heart had overcome my head. I knew that I was making a mistake, but it meant so much to me that Ross was willing to brave extreme danger to follow my lead. I have had other students that put their faith into my hands, but never for my sake. Revan was the exception, but only because he didn’t have enough sense to know better. It was more because of his influence than mine. This was the first time where I’ve genuinely been regarded as a role model.

I made no mistake that I was not the ‘great jedi who resisted the darkside’ that he likely saw me as, but it was comforting to know that he did not want me to not go into harm’s way alone. I wish I could say I did it for him, but I was gratified to know I did not have to face the sith alone. His presence was of little value to my mission, but it was a huge psychological benefit that I couldn’t refuse.

“I cannot emphasize the danger you would be in. Even Revan was fearful of being discovered. If you come with me, you must not be afraid to emulate a sith in its entirety. It could mean just about anything... murder, humiliation... I may have to hurt you in order to accomplish my mission. Are you willing to put yourself in that position?”

I asked as though I were already assuming that he were going to be discovered. The words I said were painful to consider, but I had to ensure that he knew what he was going to face. If it meant me having to treat him like Omeesh treated me, it was better that than being caught by the sith. I wish I were just being paranoid, but I’ve seen the brutality of the sith too often.

He didn’t display as much fear as I had hoped. I thought that the idea of me becoming a monster in front of his eyes would have been too much, but he likely didn’t want me to confront the sith alone. “I’m aware of the risks... and I know that it would mean that you can’t protect me if I get into danger. But having two would increase the odds of getting the job done. If you encounter a security system where a single person cannot bypass it, the presence of another could increase the number of options you would have for almost everything.”

I held his shoulders. “I’m not questioning your usefulness. It would simply be more conspicuous to have you along.”

Master Vash gestured to the two of us. “What if you two are seen together? A master and her apprentice... there’s nothing conspicuous about that. In fact, an apprentice might allow for you to escape an unusual situation.” She got between us and gestured to Ross. “If something goes wrong, just say your apprentice just made a mistake and they’d be more inclined to believe that than that the kid is spying on them. Wouldn’t that work?”

I stared at him for a moment as I considered the help he could be to me. Although he’s not officially a sith, I am. They would just pass him off if I did the talking and took the lead. “I guess that a second person could also allow for more equipment to be taken as well. We would have to carry everything we need to destroy the AD towers and infiltrate their war room. We may have to split up in order to do all the work...”

“Do you even know how to take out an AD tower? Anyone going in would have to know how to disable the towers without being caught. I know where to plant the explosives so that they would not be seen, but where they would effectively destroy the defenses.”

“How do you know that? Where did you learn to do that?”

He smiled very smugly. “Because I and my old master took a few out during a campaign. He showed me how to take out vital power conduits instead of the generators... much more vulnerable and often not rigged with cameras. They also don’t explode when you’re inside.”

Master Vash stepped back. “Then I assume it’s settled. You need Ross and he’s willing to go. I see no other problems before you.”

I gestured for her to stop where she was. “How are we supposed to even get through the defenses? We need sith robes... a mission plan... as well as other things.”

“Don’t worry about that. We’ve got a few sith robes for you. Your transportation would be a speeder bike we salvaged... it’s not in prime condition, but it’s at least of sith design and can get you to their location quickly. Once inside, you would have to improvise your own mission.”

I nodded and shrugged my shoulders. “Alright. Let’s get changed and be underway. No sense in waiting around.”

Vash stepped in my path when I tried walking away and grabbed me by the shoulders... not in an opposing way, but just firm enough to keep me from leaving. “You’re not leaving yet. We’re still a few hours away from completing the last fighter and you need some rest before then.”

I was tired, but I wouldn’t have been able to sleep with the mission on my mind. I hated the idea of going back to the sith and just wanted to be through as soon as possible. Even if I had time ahead to spare, I wouldn’t have been able to make any use of it. Staring at the ceiling for three hours wasn’t going to make any difference. In fact; it would have made things even more tense than they already were. “Master? I’m not able to sleep. With this on my mind... I would rather just get it done as soon as possible.”

“You need rest.” She declared.

“We need to get this done as soon as possible. We don’t know when they will launch their attack and the longer we wait, more likely we’ll be too late.”

“The attack begins in eight hours. That is the most likely time they will start assembling their forces. You should be off in four.” She gently patted my shoulders. “In the meantime, please return to your quarters and we’ll do what we must here. You two are key to this engagement and we need you at your best.” She stepped back to face both of us. “Dismissed.”

Ross and I bowed to her and we turned around to leave when I just realized that I was still needed for that fifth fighter. Balancing everything I had to do and include that task couldn’t be done if I were asleep. I went back to get Vash’s attention again. “Wait! They still need me for that last ship. I have to help the mechanics with whatever I can.”

She turned her head made an embarrassing grunt. “Of course. That would be too much for you to handle.” She stared at me for a moment as if to evaluate my psychological condition. She then looked towards the few fighters in the hanger as she went into deep thought. The value of another fighter was high, but if it meant pushing me further in order to get it assembled; it might push me too hard. She also knew that we had to strike sooner than later. Once the sith forces were underway, an attack would be less effective. When she made her choice, she turned back to me. “We won’t worry about that fifth ship. Once you get the job done, you just get back here. We’ll handle the rest.” She grabbed both our shoulders and turned us away. “Both of you; report to your quarters. We'll have everything ready for you in a few hours.”

Last edited by Darth_Yuthura; 08-24-2008 at 02:46 PM. Reason: Corrections
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Old 08-24-2008, 01:01 PM   #158
Burnseyy
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Ohh, Yuthura's pushing her apprentice away not a smart move. I see she still thinks like a sith in a few manners. It's good she hasn't just completely let go of that life.

I really liked this chapter... it was like a pause in the action, but still with talk of action. You've got the characters perfectly, I loved the descriptions of Vash's quarters and how 'different' she was to the typical Master, and the dialogue is great as always.

Glad to see the inspiration is back.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-24-2008, 09:40 PM   #159
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Originally Posted by Burnseyy View Post

Glad to see the inspiration is back.
Indeed. Though this is a break from the action, all the planning is a good thing. It really gets the reader into the mission, and adds some suspense. Great dialogue in here.

I like how Vash is becoming an ally to Yuthura. Not the typical stodgey jedi master but not a free spirit either. Way to keep it realistic yet enjoyable!

~HOP



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Old 08-25-2008, 03:27 AM   #160
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ZOMG! My brain is all mushed! Lol. I read the first 7 chapters and all I have to say is that its been a fantastic read so far, and by the looks of it, I have a lot more to enjoy!
I should have kept up with this story since it was first posted. Sorry for my lateness!!

I will continue to read through the story as much as I can.
I love the idea of reading through Yuthura's perspective. She was always my favorite Sith, and now you've fleshed out her character even more! Wonderful work, indeed!

As I said, I will continue to read through, but I just wanted to post something to klet you know that I AM reading it x] and also, enjoying it VERY much.

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