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Old 06-15-2008, 08:54 PM   #1
Darth Bender
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Star Troopers: Episode I - A New Dope

Authors note: Set during the events of Star Wars: Episode IV

This started out as just a little idea of what happened to the Stormtroopers that let Obi Wan and Luke pass at Mos Eisley. But I started to like the two guys and I also started watching Star Wars as I wrote it. I came up with this little Episode for these guys. Hope you enjoy!

Edit: P.S. TK421 is a character that appears in Star Wars: Episode IV. Please note that this story in not canon, according to Wookipedia's information,and I have taken liberties with this character in writing this story.

Chapter One

“Move along. Move along.”

The speeder hovered away slowly. TeeKay stood still for a moment. Then shook his head slightly and brought his blaster rifle up to the chest of his white armour.

“Hey, TK-421”

TeeKay looked over saw RJ-330 looking at him through his helmet. ArJay’s voice came through his communicator again.

“Who was that?”

“Who was who?” TeeKay replied.

“That brown speeder. The one with the old man, the kid and the two droids in the back.”

TeeKay looked behind him, the looked back at ArJay.


ArJay sighed and looked at the other Stormtroopers at the checkpoint.

“Ok the rest of you stay here and keep checking vehicles. TeeKay, come over here with me for a minute.” TeeKay and ArJay walked over to the small wall beside the pathway.

“The speeder. It just went past. Don’t you remember?” said ArJay

“Oh yes. Sort of. It’s weird, when I try to remember it’s blurry.”

“Well, did you check their droids?”

“Oh yes. Yeah, they weren’t the droids we’re looking for,” TeeKay replied.

“Oh really? I didn’t really see you check their Identification papers. You just seemed to let them pass by. How do you know they aren’t the droids that Command said Vader is after?” asked ArJay

“Well … the old man said they weren’t.”

“Right … ok but how can you be sure? Couldn’t the old man be lying?”

“No, no. I’m sure he wasn’t.”

“How can you know he wasn’t?”

“Well,” said TeeKay. “I just had the feeling he wasn’t.”

ArJay sighed again. “Well I hate to be a stick in the mud, but we aren’t supposed to trusting people’s word when we’re on patrol. We’re supposed to be following protocol! Especially when Lord Vader has ordered every unit here to check all droids or suffer the consequences.”

“Gee, I’m sorry ArJay. It’s just … something in the old man’s voice. It just seemed to make me think that there was no way it was those droids,” said TeeKay.

“Oh man, Vader is going to have our heads if they turn out to be the droids. Command said they might be in this area.”

TeeKay gulped. “What are we going to do?”

“Forget it. Listen you get back to the checkpoint, and I’ll go look for them. It looks like they were heading to the cantina…”

“TK-421? TK-421?” came a voice in their headsets. It was the radio operator from Command.

“Uh, copy Command,” replied TeeKay.

“TeeKay, we need you to go check out the cantina at Mos Eisley. There’s been a disturbance over there. Some sort of altercation.”

TeeKay and ArJay looked at each other.

“We’re on our way,” said ArJay.

“Um, ArJay? Isn’t TeeKay your CO?” said the voice from Command.

ArJay sighed. “Whatever, me and TeeKay are on the way.”

TeeKay and ArJay entered the cantina. The usual jovial music flowed throughout the crowded club. They didn’t have to look far for where this disturbance came from. There was the smell of blaster fire, a smashed up table to the left and right in front of them near the bar was a severed arm. The cantina patrons carried on as usual, ignoring the mess around them. TeeKay and ArJay walked towards the middle counter where the barkeeper was serving customers.

“Hey you,” said ArJay.

The barkeeper turned around slowly. He had a surly expression on his face. He looked TeeKay and ArJay up and down.

“Whadda you want?” he said.

“Yes sir, well there was report that there’s been an incident in your establishment,” said ArJay.

“And did you know there’s a bloody arm lying on the floor?” said TeeKay looking down.

“Incident! Hah! No, no incident. Just a couple of guys busting up my joint, shooting blasters and cutting each other up with laser swords,” said the barkeeper.

“Laser swords?” asked ArJay.

“Because I don’t think it’s really hygienic to leave bits of people lying around,” continued TeeKay.

“Yeah. Couple of guys came in just a while ago. Knew they was trouble soon they tried to sneak their droids in,” said the barkeeper

“Droids?” said ArJay and Teekay.

“Yeah damn nerve bringing those mindless hunks of scrap in here. You guys should know, fighting them back in the wars …”

“Where are these guys now?” asked ArJay.

“They up over in the back somewhere,” said the barkeeper and he pointed to some tables. ArJay looked over and saw an occupied table with a few men and a wookie sitting at it. Then he saw robed man look around and glimpsed an older man’s face with a white beard.

“Alright, we’ll check it out. C’mon TeeKay, I think I saw that old man from before,” said ArJay

ArJay walked starting walking and TeeKay carefully stepped over the arm before following him. They walked around and came to the table ArJay spotted before. However only a young man in a black vest and a wookie sat there. The man in the vest glared at ArJay. They walked away and continued looking throughout the club. They came to the back of the cantina without finding the old man or his companion and went back outside through the cantina’s rear entrance.

“Damn. I was sure the old man was at that table with the wookie, and the barkeeper said he had droids. It had to be the guy from the checkpoint,” said ArJay as they began walking away from the cantina.

“You think he was the one that cut off that arm?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that we lost him again.”

“…. Lost who?” asked TeeKay.

“The old man you idiot! Why do you keep ...?”

The sound of a muffled blaster shot rang out behind them. TeeKay and ArJay looked at each other and ran back to the cantina.

Smoke floated up from large blsater hole in the dead Rodian’s back. The green alien’s body was slumped down and it’s head lay on the table.

“Remind to not ever eat here,” said TeeKay

“I knew that guy in the vest was talking to the old man. They must be in this together, and if those droids are the one Vader wants then we’re in trouble,” said ArJay.

“Whose the dead guy then?”

“Looks like a bounty hunter,” said ArJay. “That guy in the vest or his wookie had someone after them. Either way …”

“TK421? TK421?” came the voice from Command again.

“Copy, we’re here,” said TeeKay.

“There’s a lead on the missing droids. One of our spies here says there are men who may in possession of two droids around Mos Eisley. And they seem to be seeking assistance from some locals about getting off Tatooine. Command want’s any nearby units available to meet at the docking bays near the cantina.”

“Ok we’re on way,” said TeeKay.

“We’re dead,” said ArJay. They ran out through the cantina and back outside.

Last edited by Darth Bender; 06-15-2008 at 11:39 PM.
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Old 06-15-2008, 09:00 PM   #2
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Chapter Two

TeeKay and ArJay came to an alley near the docking bays where a number of other Troopers had gathered.

“Hey, we’re here,” said TeeKay.

“About time you guys showed up,” replied SK-510.

EsKay was the CO of another unit assigned to Mos Eisley. He was holding a very large blaster rifle as he stood in front of TeeKay and ArJay.

“We’re here aren’t we?” said ArJay. “Now what?”

“Humph. Well we’re meeting our contact just up ahead. He knows what docking bay that the two suspects and their droids have went to. Follow us.”

They walked up through the alley and a figure in dark robes ran up the EsKay. The black alien was wearing dark goggles on above his large trunk-like nose. He chirped something to EsKay.

“Wow, he looks really reliable,” muttered ArJay.

“Which way?” said EsKay. The alien chirped back and pointed towards Docking Bay 94. EsKay ran towards the bay bringing up his rifle and the rest of the troopers followed.

“Alright men, load your weapons,” he said.

As they ran inside ArJay and TeeKay saw a broken down freighter ship sitting inside and the man with the black vest that they saw earlier was standing outside.

“Stop that ship! Blast them,” EsKay yelled and began firing at the black vest man.

Sparks flew from holes where his rifle fire hit the freighter. But black vest man quickly drew a blaster and began firing back. A laser blast hit the wall behind him ArJay sending shards of rock flying. All the troopers began firing back. More blasts came in reply. EsKay rushed forward firing as he went. ArJay moved to his right finding cover on the wall behind a tall plasteel container. He saw Eskay get hit and fall to the ground. More firing came and derbris went blasting from the walls. ArJay saw the black vest man run up the ship’s loading ramp. The other Troopers continued firing.

ArJay looked and saw EsKay still on the ground. A smoking black hole was visible in the back of his armour. ArJay looked around and saw two other troopers taking cover behind plasteel crates on the other side on the docking bay’s entrance. They were still firing at the ship. Behind him another man was down. He suddenly realised it was TeeKay. As he ran towards his body the sound of the freighters engines filled the docking bay.

“TeeKay!” yelled ArJay. “Are you alright?” TeeKay moaned in reply.

ArJay looked around as the freighter roared and the ship floated up and began to take off. It’s blue engines flared as it sped towards the sky. ArJay turned back towards TeeKay.

“TeeKay! Are you all right? Where are you hit?” said ArJay.

“Nnn. I’m fine. I’m ok. A stupid piece of the roof came down and hit my head is all.”

TeeKay sat up and rubbed his helmet. “Ow.”

“Oh man, I thought you got blasted,” said ArJay.

“No I’m ok. Did they get away?”

“Yeah their gone.”

“Oh man. I hope we don’t …”

“TK421? TK-421?” came the voice from Command once again.

“Uh, yeah Command, this is ArJay. TeeKay’s with me but got banged up a bit. Listen, EsKay is down and that ship got away.”

“We know. You and TeeKay need to report Docking Bay 82. There’s a shuttle there. You two are to report back at the Death Star. Vader wants you guys to debrief him in person on the escape of that ship.”

ArJay and TeeKay looked at each other. TeeKay gulped.
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Old 06-16-2008, 12:09 AM   #3
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I like where this story is going...

Please feed the trolls. XD
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Old 06-16-2008, 12:19 AM   #4
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Very interesting. I think that this will be one of the more humorous fics. Good job!

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Old 06-16-2008, 01:10 AM   #5
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Thank you for the kind words

Almost finished!
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Old 06-16-2008, 01:11 AM   #6
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Chapter Three

TeeKay and ArJay walked down the shuttle’s ramp and into the hangar bay. After a nervous ride through hyperspace, they had arrived at the Death Star. As they walked down an Imperial Officer walked towards them. Dressed in the usual dark uniform beckoned to them.

“Where are you going troopers?” he said.

“Yes sir. TK-421 and RJ-330 reporting. We’re here to ah, debrief with Lord Vader about the occurrence on Tatooine,” said TeeKay.

“Oh, you two? Well, that will have to wait! That ship that blasted it’s way out of Mos Eisley has just been found. It’s being pulled in by our tractor beam as we speak!”

“It’s here?!” said ArJay

“Yes, we need all hands on deck. Maybe you two can make up for your failure earlier,” said the officer.

TeeKay and ArJay looked down uncomfortably.

“You two are now assigned to the On-Site Unit. You will be securing that ship and making sure no one gets away this time. Now follow me, it should be here any minute”, said the officer. TeeKay and ArJay followed him through the hangar. They went through the corridor outside the hangar where a number of other Troopers had lined up.

“Fall in you two!” said the officer. TeeKay and ArJay quickly lined up with the other soldiers and stood at attention. The officer then marched over and stood in front of the unit.

“To your stations,” he said. The line of troopers started marching down the corridor. TeeKay and ArJay at the back of the line began to follow them.

As they entered ArJay once again saw the freighter ship from Mos Eisley. He had no doubt it was the same one he saw blast off a short time before. And aboard must be the old man, the vest man, and with any luck, the two droids. ArJay though that if Vader gets those droids, hopefully he and TeeKay will not get in trouble for letting them get away. Twice.

The line of troopers then halted below the ship and stood at attention. Another Imperial officer was standing below the loading ramp and barking commands. He turned towards the unit

“You two,” he said. He was pointing at TeeKay and ArJay. “Stand guard beside the ramp.”

“Us?” said ArJay.

“Yes you! On the double troopers!” the office shouted. TeeKay and ArJay quickly ran over toward the freighters lowered ramp and stood guard either side. The officer then entered the ship with two other troopers.

“This is ridiculous,” whispered ArJay to TeeKay. “What is this ship doing back here?”

“Maybe it’s following us?” offered TeeKay.

“Yeah right, this old man and his droids slipped away from us twice, nearly blasting us to death in the process, only to come follow us back here at the Death Star.”

“Fine no need to be snappy. All I know is that these droids must be important if they’re causing all this fuss.”

“C’mon what can they do? Blow this place up? More likely Vader just wants some more for his collection,” said ArJay.

“Heh, heh! *breathes heavily* You .. must .. find .. these .. droids. “breathes heavily* They … are … … limited … editions.”

“Ha, ha! Ha …. Ooooh,” exclaimed ArJay. Just then he saw Darth Vader entered the hangar.

“Heh. What?” asked TeeKay. ArJay motioned towards Vader.

“Oh crap.”

Just then the Imperial office and the two troopers walked back down the freighters ramp. The tall, imposing figure of Darth Vader walked to meet them at the bottom of the ramp. TeeKay and ArJay shifted uncomfortably.

“There’s no one on board sir,” said the officer. “According to the log the crew abandoned ship right after take off.”

Darth Vader looked up surveying the ship intently.

“It must be a decoy sir,” the officer continued. “Several of the escape pods have been jettisoned.”

“Did you find any droids?” asked Vader.

“No sir. If there were any aboard they must have also have jettisoned.”

“Send a scanning crew aboard. I want every part of this ship checked.”

“Yes sir.”

“Damn,” ArJay whispered to TeeKay. “There not here. I was just starting to feel we were going to get out of this.”

“Maybe they’re hiding?” TeeKay whispered back.

“Like where TeeKay? In the floor? They’re gone and so are we.” Vader began to walk away.

“Get me a scanning crew here on the double!” said the officer. “I want every part of this ship checked.

Two more troopers walked down from the ramp.

“Hey you!” ArJay said to the troopers. “You sure you didn’t find anything?”

“Definitely,” one of them replied. “Hey aren’t you the guys that let this thing get out of Mos Eisley?”

“Yeah yeah, on your way. Don’t you have a wall to guard or something?” said ArJay.

“Pfft, whatever,” said the trooper.

“How does everyone know that it’s us? We all look exactly the same?” said TeeKay

Just then two Imperial technicians began walking towards the ramp carrying a blue container. Then they made their way up into the ship. As they reached the top ArJay and TeeKay heard a large crash.

“Hey down there!” came a voice from inside the ship. “Can you give us a hand with this?”

ArJay walked over to the front of the ramp and looked up. The large container was on the floor at the top of the ramp. ArJay motioned to TeeKay to come follow him and they walked up the ramp. As ArJay reached the top, he suddenly had a blaster pointed in his face. He quickly grabbed the arm attached and wrenched it so the blaster turned up. Two shots rang out. Suddenly ArJay was lifted off the ground by two furry arms and was thrown hard against a wall. TeeKay saw ArJay get hurled across the corridor by the wookie. He brought up his blaster to fire, but then suddenly felt a dull pain as something very solid hit his head. TeeKay fell to the floor. He looked up and saw tall golden droid and short R2 unit standing in front of him. Then slowly his vision faded.
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Old 06-16-2008, 01:25 AM   #7
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Great Chapter! This is pretty funny...

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Old 06-16-2008, 10:38 AM   #8
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This keeps getting better and better!

Originally Posted by Darth Bender/Teekay
“Oh crap.”

Please feed the trolls. XD
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Old 06-24-2008, 11:52 AM   #9
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Chapter Four

TeeKay slowly regained consciousness. His vision was blurry and he blinked to clear his eyes. In front of him lay a body, wearing only his underwear. TeeKay suddenly realised he also didn’t have his armour on. He tried to move and then felt that his hands and feet had been tied together. He looked down and saw that they were bound with tight black cord.

“ArJay?” he called. “Is that you?”

ArJay’s body stirred.

“Mmnn. Yeah… yeah!” replied ArJay “What happened? Oh man, I feel like I just got hit by a star cruiser.”

“They jumped us ArJay! They must have been hiding in the ship. I saw the droids!”

“Man, I think I got thrown by a wookie,” ArJay groaned.

“C’mon. Maybe we can use each other to get up. Here lean against my back.”

A few minutes later, TeeKay and ArJay, still bound and in their underwear, hopped down the Frieghter’s ramp. Outside, a trooper watched as they hopped over to him.

“What the hell?” said the trooper.

“We’re troopers!” yelled ArJay. “Cut us loose! We got jumped! Those two droids and the men who had them were hidden inside the ship!”

“We know!” said the trooper. He walked over to TeeKay and began cutting they rope around his arms. “It’s all over the Command network. Two men dressed as troopers just blasted up the prison block. One was confirmed as Han Solo, the pilot of this ship. The whole station is on alert.”

“Han Solo?” said TeeKay

“So it was you’re uniforms they took? Man, you guys! First the Mos Eisley incident and now this?” said the trooper as he cut off ArJay’s ropes.

“Incident?” said ArJay. “Great. They’re referring to that as an incident? Oh fantastic.”

“There’s no time for this. You guys need get to the barracks and get new uniforms. The orders are to get everyone on deck to find these guys. Now go!”

TeeKay and ArJay ran out of the hangar and towards the barracks. When they arrived, a large group of troopers were outside and being outfitted. TeeKay and ArJay stooped short outside the archway. All the troopers looked at them, standing in their underwear and all began laughing.

“Ha ha. Laugh it up laser brains,” said ArJay.

They quickly went to a nearby quarter and went inside. After changing into new sets of armour they returned outside.

“Hey ArJay,” said MP-460, a nearby trooper. “Nice underwear. What happened? The armour a little restrictive when you two are ‘on duty’ if you know what I mean? Har har har!! Were you guys off ‘polishing each others blasters’? Har har har!!”

“Shut the hell up EmPee,” said ArJay.

“Yeah EmPee,” said TeeKay. “If you have to know we got jumped by an old man, two droids and a wookie.”

“Har har har!! You guys crack me up! Do you really …”

EmPee was cut off by the sound of blaster fire coming from the nearby corridor. All the troopers grabbed their weapons and looked down the corridor. TeeKay heard a cry come from and heard footsteps quickly approaching the doorway. Suddenly, a group of troopers suddenly burst through the archway.

“Behind us!” one yelled.

Then , the man now know as Han Solo came running behind them. He was screaming a strange war cry as he barrelled through the archway. He stopped short upon seeing an entire squadron of troopers now aiming their blasters at him.

“It’s him!” yelled TeeKay

Han Solo blasted a nearby trooper and ran back through the archway. All the troopers began chasing after him. TeeKay and ArJay followed them. Troopers began firing towards Solo. Blaster fire hit the walls in front of them covering the corridor in smoke and debris. As they chased, ArJay saw a wookie was further up the corridor and was running with Solo.

“Oh, I’m gonna get you wookie!” yelled ArJay and began firing.

The chase continued throughout the corridors with blaster fire ringing throughout the station. EmPee was in the lead and as he turned a corner he saw the two fleeing suspects running towards am archway.

“Drop the blast doors!” yelled EmPee.

There was more gunfire from Solo and the troopers blasted back. ArJay came around the corner just to see Solo jump through the blast doors as the closed. The troopers gathered around it.

“Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!” yelled a nearby trooper.

"Drop the blast doors?” said ArJay. “Great thinking there, EmPee!”

“Shut up! They wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you guys. In fact, you two get going and try and find another way around. We’ll get through this way without you!”

“Fine!” said ArJay. “C’mon TeeKay.” They began walking back up the corridor.

“I can’t believe everyone is blaming us for all this,” said TeeKay

“Forget those guys,” said ArJay. “I think the hangar this way. Let’s go.” They turned left down another hallway. After a short while they came to a large archway that led back to the hangar. Three troopers were standing nearby and seemed to be staring at something across the other side.

“Hey guys, listen we’re trying to …” ArJay started.

“Hey come check this out,” said one of the troopers. He pointed over to the other end of the hangar. ArJay and TeeKay looked over and saw Vader with his red laser sword ablaze. He seemed to be duelling with another figure that was wearing a long, brown robe. ArJay looked at the figure and then caught a glimpse of the man’s face

“Hey! That’s the old guy from Mos Eisley!” said ArJay.

“Let’s go over and have a closer look at this,” said another of the troopers.

ArJay and TeeKay walked across the hangar slowly and stopped near the archway. From there they heard the hiss as each of the laser swords clashed. Vader swiped at the old man with three quick blows, but the old man blocked each stroke and moved away. Vader attacked again, the old man blocked the blow and the two swords locked together. While struggling to with Vader, the old man looked towards the group of troopers. TeeKay saw the old man’s eyes looking at something behind them and smiled. The old man then pushed away from Vader, then brought up his sword and closed his eyes. Vader swung at him bringing the sword across the old man’s body. The figure dropped quickly.


ArJay heard the cry from behind him. The troopers turned to see a young man standing outside the captured freighter while a number of other figures rushed up the landing ramp. The young man brought up his blaster and began firing. The shots echoed throughout the hanger. ArJay and TeeKay quickly brought up their blaster rifles and began returning fire. One of the troopers with them suddenly fell, smoke rising from a black hole in his armour. ArJay blasted towards the ship. The young man still stood and sent more shots towards them. The two other troopers with ArJay got hit and got blasted backwards. TeeKay looked behind him to see Vader and reinforcements rushing towards the closing blast door. He looked back towards the ship to see the young man race up the landing ramp. The ship started up and a roar filled the hangar. It lifted up and began to move towards the hangar exit. ArJay again saw it’s blue engines flare as it speed away into open space.
The blast door behind them whirred open and Vader rushed out. EmPee and a large number of troopers followed him.

“Ah, they got away sir,” TeeKay said. Vader turned towards ArJay and TeeKay and glared at them. His mechanical breathing sounded throughout the now silent hangar. Suddenly he turned with a swirl of his cape, and walked away quickly back through the blast doors.

“Nice work guys,” said EmPee. “Thanks for letting us through by the way. Get distracted did you?”

“Well, Vader and this old guy,” said TeeKay. “They had their laser swords …”

“Forget it,” said EmPee. “Lieutenant Bashin wants to see you guys right away.”

Shortly after, ArJay and TeeKay sat in the lieutenant’s small office. Bashin sat in front of them behind his desk. A large file that was filled with paper sat open on it.

“Listen sir,” started ArJay. “We’re sorry that ship got away. But it wasn’t our fault!”

“You mean, this time it wasn’t?” said Bashin. “Yes, we have received a few reports about the pair of you and you’re activities over the last few days.”

TeeKay gulped.

“Never mind. That ship that escaped is being tracked as we speak. With any luck it will be leading us straight to the rebel’s hidden base. Preperations are being made for the attack right now.”

“Well, that’s a relief!” said ArJay. “So, we’re ok? Me and TeeKay? I mean, yes we did mess up a couple of times. But all’s well that ends well, right? We can help with the attack in anyway if you want. To make up for all the stuff that’s happened.”

“Yes …” said Bashin and raised his eybrows. “Well it seems Lord Vader has noticed you two. And due to recent events, he feels your duties would be better suited … elsewhere while we prepare for the attack.” Bashin stood up and picked up two pieces of paper. He then set them down in front of ArJay and TeeKay and placed a pen beside them.

“If you two will just sign these transfer documents, we can get you two out … I mean, escort you to your new post effective immediately.” ArJay and TeeKay both looked at their transfers.


The End of Episode One!

Last edited by Darth Bender; 06-24-2008 at 11:03 PM.
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Old 06-24-2008, 01:45 PM   #10
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I have to say that was a strange, yet hilarious chapter. Amazing work Darth Bender!

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Old 06-24-2008, 11:05 PM   #11
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Looking at the whole thing, it's a pretty strange story overall lol!
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