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Old 08-21-2008, 10:31 PM   #1
JAvatar80
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Darth Revan, second ascension

Hi. I'm JAvatar80, JA for short, and this is my first fic for these forums. I've played Knights a few times, most of which were light-side games because...well...I'm a good guy. However, in my Dark-side run, I found the ending to be lack luster. Revan was originally a charismatic person who made a full quarter of the Jedi Order and the entire republic fleet under his command turn into depraved Sith who attacked their own homes, and the ending made me feel like he was a cookie-cutter spaghetti western villian. Sure, he was a "bad-guy" in the end, but due to the ESBR rating, he couldn't be truly evil. This is my rendition, showing how twisted he really could be.

Just so you all know, this is a Male Revan, started as a scout, turned Consular. My story opens when Revan's waiting for the shield around the Temple on the Unknown World to open.


I sat there on the open field, legs crossed, eyes closed, my breathing even and measured. The purpose was to pass time, and drown out the irritating noise that The One was chanting. Simply sitting there wasn't enough, though, and the warbling noise started to get under my skin, so instead I cut him further from my senses and started thinking about my....companions.

A rag-tag group of people and droids..at best. The circumstances that brought us together were interesting, to say the least. But I knew now that it wasn't luck, or chance, but a series of events orchastrated to bring me to this moment. When I woke up on that republic frigate, I thought I was just a normal officer in the Republic navy...but now I know better. I made it off that bucket of rusted out bolts by the skin of my teeth, with the first of my new "friends", Carth. We crashed down into Upper Taris, and I already couldn't stand him. He kept whining about not trusting me, how he needed to get revenge...by the force it was all I could do to keep from shooting him in the back. But I needed his help.

We made it to lower Taris by...obtaining...some uniforms from a group of drunk minions from the local base. There, we met up with the Beks, and learned of Bastilla's imprisonment by the Vulkars, and it just so happened that Gadon needed us to get him a trinket for his help to rescue her. Then we began our trek to the undercity...now that I think of it, the stench from that place STILL is in my nose. And that's when I gathered two new followers.

Mission Vao and her walking carpet of a friend, Zalbaar. She came to us, crying about slavers taking the wookie. It served my interest for her to join us, to help get into the Vulkar base, and having a little wookie muscle never hurts. So, a quick trip into the sewers to rescue the oaf, and the fool actually swore one of those wookie life-debts to me. It was laughable! The hairy brute gave up one life of forced slavery, to give himself to me in another. Ah well.

We finally made it to the Vulkar's base, wiped out so many of those weak thugs I lost count of them. In the back workshop of their garage, I was made an offer, to betray the Beks. It was tempting....it truely was. But it would have involved heading back to the other base, wiping out countless more thugs, killing Gadon, and then going back to the Vulkars and racing in that swoop race anyways. It just would have been too much work, so I stuck with the original plan and brought the accelerator to Gadon. I'm glad I did, too. I won the race, and the Vulkar brat Brejik tried to stop me from taking my prize...Batilla. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he would have tried keeping her from me if I had joined his gang instead, and he would still be dead.

At that point, we just needed off Taris, and another chance meeting lead to that. Canderous Ordo, a Mandalorian mercenary, needed my help to get codes to get past the Sith blockade of the planet. I needed the ship he knew of. It was a...mutually benificial arrangement. So, I bought T3, a little utility astromech droid to get into the base, wiped it clean of the sith infestation, acquired the launch codes, and Canderous lived up to his end of the bargain, and we were off.

Bastilla's great plan at that point was to take us to Dantooine, to get me training. By the Force, that council has pissed me off. I undergo their "training" to become one of the most promising padewan ever...small wonder. It's a shame about Bastilla, honestly. Not only is she bonded to me because she saved my life when my errant apprentice tried to take power, but she's attractive, and the seeds of throwing off the Jedi Order were planted. After all, I got her to kiss me. That was before, of course. When I thought I was still...not myself. I can still taste her lips on mine....but she let herself get captured on the Leviathan, That's when I learned who I really was...my memories returning slowly, my old power augmented by my new life...I will be a force to reckon with.

Of course, at this point, I wonder if I'll be given the opportunity. Carth didn't trust me before he learned who I used to be...he sure as sith doesn't trust me now. His use is nearing an end...I can fly the Hawk myself. But I'd rather not chance getting hurt by him right now...he is a crack-shot with those pistols of his.

Mission fears me, as well. I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. She stole quite a few glances before, when we were searching for the Star Maps, I would even say she may have been crushing on me, just a bit. A 14 year old's infatuation. However, given the right opportunity....

Zalbaar isn't very happy with me. I know this, I can feel it in his body language. Of course, I don't blame him. On his home world, we killed his father, leaving his tribe's fate in his brother's paws. Which, of course, meant most of his tribe will end up slaves to Czerka.

Canderous, on the other hand, respected me before we learned who I was. Now, I swear it's borderline worship. We had a lot of talks, and most of his stories didn't bother me. They facinated me. My appreciation for battle, and my own capabilities, formed a bit of a bond with him.

That just left the other Jedi.....Jolee and Juhani. During my training, I needed to cleanse a taint from a grove. I could have killed the Cathar I found there...but I didn't. I didn't know why at the time, but I had a nagging in the back of my skull to spare her. Since then, having a Guardian assist me in combat has been so useful, it's not even funny. We would see a group of foes in the distance, and she would leap to the fore-front while I came up behind, already hacking away at whatever enemy that decided to bother us at the time. Her rage is deep-seated in her core, and I know she will follow me with guidance.

And Jolee...he may be old, but has definately been a boon. He preaches about neutrality, is severely disillusioned with the Council...I may be able to turn him completely, so long as his old sense of morality doesn't get in the way.

I can feel two tremors in the Force, waking me from my meditation, the first is the shield beginning to waver...The One must be close to finishing. The other tremor is a pressence approaching. My eyes flutter open, pupils closing down, the light glaring around me. A couple vigorous blinks, my head shaking, and my vision clears. Two force-sensitives coming from behind, I stand, sabers snapping to my hands. Just as I am ready to flick the switches to activate them, I turn and see Jolee and Juhani coming up the slope. The One stands, seeing them as well.

"They come, but should not! You must enter the temple alone!" His garbling speak grates on my ears, and my agitation manifests with a twitch in my eye. My companions come to a halt in front of me, a flash of fear on Juhani's face tell me she thinks I'm mad at her.

"What are you two doing here? The deal for the One to drop the shield was I had to enter the temple alone."

"Oh, I know that." Jolee's voice soft and slightly gruff...the perfect noise to accent his stories, most of which brought a chuckle from me I admit. "But we felt..something...in the force. We don't think you should go alone." Juhani stood behind him, silent, but nodded in agreement.

I sighed, heavily, knowing that they would not back down....and truth being, considering what was ahead of me, they may be needed. I turned to the one, locking him in my gaze, letting my full irritation bore into him. I held my temper in all my dealings with him before, so this new weight made him step back. "They will accompiany me in the temple, One. Now open the shield." He swallowed, hard, and opened his mouth to protest. I didn't back down in my gaze, and took a single step towards him. It was enough, and he nodded, resuming his earlier position and started warbling again. A few moments later, and the shield dropped.

"The way is clear." His voice carried his fear, but he was already in my past. I had started up the stairs to the temple, my companions in tow. The temple itself was simple, though large. There were few Sith, and quite a few droids. Every new batch would simply open fire on us, Juhani would leap into the middle of the group, attacking the rear droids, while Jolee utilized a power that focused on shorting and destroying droids, and I backed him up with Lightning. Finally, we reached the summit of the temple, and the defense system for the Star Forge. I came to the final challenge the temple held for us...the woman who loved me, who fell into Malak's sway and control...Bastilla.

She stood there, across the roof, her personal ship behind her, body now clothed in black robes of a Sith Knight. She stalked, slowly, across the platform, hips swaying softly, body much more relaxed than before her capture. I honestly think she enjoyed her new sense of emotional freedom. However, she was now in my way, and allied with my enemy, my sabers still in hand from below, my thumbs flicking the switches, the green and violet blades igniting to life, and I could hear Juhani and Jolee activating their own sabers.

Bastilla, though, held from turning hers on, instead falling back a step, holding up her empty hand, "Wait! I want to talk to you!"

Jolee stepped up beside me, and I could feel his hesitation. "What do you want to talk about? You turned traitor on us, and follow Malak now."

She nodded softly. "That is true, but that does not mean I did it willingly. He tortured me, Jolee. Yes, I enjoy my new freedom, my ability to feel emotions, but I am not loyal to him." Her eyes flickered to me, probing, searching, begging to be heard.

Juhani then stepped up, "But you have still turned, from the Jedi Order and the Republic."

Bastilla shot her a withering look that, as much as I hate to admit, impressed me. "You're one to talk, Cathar. You embraced the Dark Side willingly, and were fortunate enough to be spared your life." This made Juhani step back, her shame and anger starting to rise. Bastilla returned her gaze to me. "As I said, I have turned, but am not loyal to Malak. He pushed me, tortured me, broke me, and I found I liked this new me. But he is weak, at least compared to you, my love."

This caused me to arch an eyebrow. I knew I had gained her trust, affection, and when she demanded that I kiss her on the Hawk, I knew that it ran much deeper than simple infatuation.....but to use that term here, in the open...it suprised and, in some way, pleased me. "What are you getting at Bastilla?" My voice was cold, measured, controlled....I couldn't let too much slip on the chance I had to kill her.

Her eyes shone just a bit at my words, though. "He leads through fear, uses tactics that leave no chance of an enemy coming from behind. But he also destroys possible resources, potential followers. You, when you were a Jedi, and then returned as the Sith Lord, led with power! You were, and still are, a great man! Far superior to him! You deserve to lead the sith forces!"

Jolee stepped closer to me, voice barely a whisper, "Be careful here. There is a choice, one that will shape the face of the galaxy itself." I sensed it just before the action happened, Juhani had decided to act while Bastilla seemed to have her defenses down. But, before the Cathar could even jump the distance between her and Bastilla, she froze in her spot, Bastilla's hand dropping, a field of Force energy locking Juhani in place.

"Bastilla, you should know better than anyone that I am no longer the man I used to be." I took a step forward, my voice dropping in pitch, face contorting with barely contained rage at the audacity the Jedi Council had to try and erase my mind. "It's because of you I have two lifetimes in my head. You very nearly destroyed who I was!"

For the first time since coming onto the roof, I saw fear in her eyes. "I know, my love! But, I did it because I had to! If I had not, you would have died on that ship! Look at yourself, though. You gained much strength from the memories given to you, and your old memories are returning! You have only, if possible, become even stronger than before! Strong enough to destroy Malak, and to take control of the Sith again, and lead them to total victory!"

Retake my old role? I had never really thought of that before. I was so intent on stopping Malak, on finding the Star Forge, I never gave enough thought as to other options I had. I could do it...I knew. I could face Malak, destroy him, kill any others who would not follow....and rule the galaxy. Or I could be the Jedi Council's pawn. I locked gazes with Bastilla, my voice like ice, "And what of you? Will you stay loyal to your Master if I decide to retake my mantle?"

She smiled, wickedly, wantingly, her emotions and desires plain in her eyes, tongue tracing her lips, before taking a knee before me. "If you retake your title and mantle as Lord of the Sith, I will follow you, without fail or hesitation, into death itself, if you asked."

Jolee cut in, urgency in his voice, "Be careful! This path will lead to much pain, and suffering! You were turned from this role....why take it back up?"

I thought about it. Long and hard, honestly. Though it took but a moment to come to the realization. I stepped forward, standing to the side and slightly in front of Bastilla, and turned to face the old man. "Because, in the end, I AM Darth Revan." Jolee's shoulder's slumped, and I could feel Bastilla's elation as she stood. "Join me, Jolee. You know the Council is wrong. What they did to me was wrong, it's their fault your wife died in the Exar Kun war. I won't allow that to happen again."

Jolee looked sad, and old, as he readied his saber. "My wife died because she turned from the path of the Jedi. I'm sorry, boy, but I can NOT let you take up Kun's old mantle!" The next thing I saw was his body charging mine, green blade zig-zagging through the air. I pushed Bastilla back as my own blades came back to life, three beams of color flashing in the space between us. As we fought, I realized I did like the old man. His stories were meant to guide and teach...though the lesson could change depending on what one took from them. And they were almost always amusing. In the end, he couldn't keep track of both of my blades, and his defenses were left wide open. With no emotion, I whispered, "Goodbye, Jolee," before my primary blade took a hard, vicious verticle slice up his middle. His face didn't even register shock as his body fell, splitting as the unblanaced halves pulled in opposite directions, dropping in a bloody mess.

I then turned to Juhani as the stasis wore off. She looked at Jolee's remains, and tears flooded her eyes, her voice dropping to a growl. "You Monster!" She prepared to leap on me, as I held up a hand.

"Think about that statement, for a moment Juhani." Something in the way I talked to her made her stop her attack, for the moment. "I propose a new order for the galaxy. One were individuals are not sold into slavery. One that does not tollerate intollerance for other species. One where you could go anywhere, and not fear people trying to buy you, or spit on you for being different."

My words got to her, I could tell. Her face was confused, her body slumping, then her eyes took a steely look. "You speak the truth, but lie at the same time. You propose a galaxy were individuals are not slave owners, because everyone is a slave to the Sith. Intollerance wouldn't happen, because everyone would be afraid of death for other reasons. Your galaxy is ten times worse than the Republic." She spat on the ground in front of me, lips curled into a snarl. "I hate the people in my past for what they did, but I would never wish what they did to me on anyone!"

This, of course, angered me. "After sparing your life, teaching you to embrace your emotions while maintaining your discipline...after I let you kill the tormentor of your childhood! And you still turn on me?" She braced herself for the imminant attack, but nothing prepared her for the wave of force that washed from my hand, throwing her back to the wall, cracking the stone from the impact. She slumped, hard, but tried to stand back up, staggering towards me. A second push threw her back again, this one elicting a scream of pain from her throat. I'll give her credit, though, she didn't know when to give up. She tried to stand again as I started to approach her, another wave of energy smashing her into the stone wall. Finally, she just laid there, tears of shame and pain falling from her eyes. I took my saber, swung twice, and thrusted down twice, each strike accompianied by a hiss, the burning ozone stench of lazer-cut flesh, and a delicious scream from her lips. As I turned and moved to the control panel for the defense system, Bastilla looked at what I had done.

"My Lord, why did you not finish her off? Are you showing her mercy?" Bastilla's voice showed her confusion, and betrayed her intent depending on my answer.

"Look again, my apprentice, and learn something. Mercy is sparing your opponent. I did no such thing for her. I cut her arms off just shy of the shoulder, and thrust through each knee cap. She's immobile. The only way she could leave this temple is if we brought her with." I finished with the console, and started heading towards the stairs, glancing back at Bastilla. "We're leaving her here, and I will have The One reactivate the shield around the temple once we are gone." Bastilla looked from Juhani, to me, and back, before turning to follow, a truly wicked smile on her lips. I finished my plan for the errant Jedi, "It will be days, if not weeks, before our little friend there finally dies from dehydration or starvation. And no one will be able to rescue her, I assure you."

When Bastilla and I finally exited the temple, The One was still there. "Can you reactivate the shield?" My question was simple and to the point. When he nodded, I used the Force itself to get into his head, "Do it."

It was irritating, but the reactivation took less than a tenth of the time it took to drop the shield. When The One finished, I went up to him. "Can anyone else drop this shield?" He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but I had the answer I needed. My saber flickered to life, and a single slash decapitated the "Builder". I heard Bastilla's double saber ignite, and saw the crystal had been swapped from her old Yellow to a Red, and she attacked one of the other Builders who helped with the chant. A few moments later, and it was just the two of us in a field littered with body parts.

"Now, my apprentice....we have other companions waiting for us...."

================================================== ====

I'm taking a short typing break here....any feedback would be appreciated.

Last edited by JAvatar80; 08-21-2008 at 10:52 PM.
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Old 08-22-2008, 01:00 PM   #2
HIGH ON PIE 14
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Firstly, I would like to say, Welcome to the forums JA!

Secondly: I too did not like how Revan just sort of a hack and slash type of villain in the game. He is always described as cunning and charismatic, yet, when you play as him in a DS game, it is a whole different story. I like how you describe Revan's thoughts of all the party members, and how he tried to turn both Jolee and Juhani.

Revan seems cynical about many things, but he realizes thue use of these annoyances, such as Mission or Zalbaar. The only thing I would have liked to see was a bit more about Revan getting to the temple summit. There is only one sentence about it, and I understand its not the focus of the story here, but maybe a bit of contempt on Revan's part at how weak these sith are. Just my two cents.

I'll make sure to keep my eye out for the second addition.

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:10 PM   #3
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I'm not one for Darkside stories, but I do appreciate some of the aspects of Revan regarding the Wookie as being useful, but an obligation. I have to agree with HOP that this version of Revan was a bit cynical.

I liked how he didn't kill Juhani and defended his actions by saying that there is greater strength in sparing an enemy than killing them. I would have found it more gripping if Revan intended to turn his old friends to his side rather than ensure they died one way or another. Revan was clever and could be much greater if his evil actions were justified by good intentions.

"There is nothing more dangerous than a monster who think he's right with god." -Nathan Fillion

I am not saying Revan should be a LS character, but I would say it would be far more understandable if he came to another belief of the Galaxy other than just cynicism or peace. Instead of just killing because you can... only kill when they are in your way. Malak was brutal and evil, but Revan would be even more dangerous if he were cunning and dynamic. Make the conversation between him and Bastila more intense and longer. Make Revan go through so much conflict, that he has a civil war wage in his head before he chooses to side with Bastila... I think that's much more dramatic than anything.

Good luck with your story. I look forward to more.
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Old 08-22-2008, 04:25 PM   #4
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Thanks guys.

I'll be getting the rest up later today.

HOP, I understand what you mean about the climb to the temple summit, however I'll be honest. It's been 4 years since I played the end game. I remember the major plot points, but the actual temple is just a blur in my mind.

I know that cannonically, Revan does stay LS. However, I'm following the "DS" cannon, killing the people that Revan kills. Script-wise, I'm taking slight liberties, trying to capture the essence of the moment, but allows for insight to my "evil" Revan.

The next part will show how twisted he can be, and the reasoning behind it.
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Old 08-22-2008, 04:39 PM   #5
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Meh, there is not much to remember. Just a bunch of stone corridors with very whimpy Sith Acolades
(sp?) who die after one hit.

Very intersting that you decided to follow the game. I like your insights to Revan's thoughts, so I can't wait for the next part.

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 08-22-2008, 09:12 PM   #6
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Part 2
=====

Bastilla silently followed me on the path back to the Hawk. After slaughtering The One and his followers, we both needed a release from the tensions building in ourselves. That act alone took close to a half hour, and then another ten minutes to get our robes back on and in order. Her cheeks were still flushed, lips pulled into a satisfied, silly grin. I could feel her mind trying to grip something, though, and she stopped, voice hesitant. "My Lord, may I ask something?"

I stopped as well, turning to face her, fairly certain I knew what she was going to ask. However, I would not assume...I had assumed Malak would have listened to me, would have learned from his mistakes in the past, that he would have challenged me directly..and look where that got me. "Yes, my dear?" The simple term of affection brought the school-girl grin back to her lips.

"Jolee, and Juhani. Why did you not attack them outright? I felt something when you had to kill him...it was guilt. Why did you try to turn them?" Her curiousity was almost charming, though it was tempered with fear. The fear was well masked, and if not for our bond, I would never have felt it. And it had to have been the bond that allowed her to feel my regret.

"Well, my apprentice, I tried to turn them because they would have been useful in the upcoming fight. And, in all honesty, I liked them. Jolee was an old coot, with a plethora of stories to tell. He was severely disillusioned with the Jedi Council, and I think he may even have turned against them. If he had taken my offer, his wisdom, insight, and experience would have been incredibly useful. That, and his stories always made me laugh." I grinned, thinking about his first story about destiny. "As for Juhani....I could have sworn she would have given in to her rage, and would allow herself to be turned. I cultivated that, edged her discipline while giving in to her emotions. Do you remember that twi'lek Xor?" Bastilla nodded, thinking of the slaver we had met back in Manaan. "You weren't with us when he finally tried to take Juhani by force. She wanted so badly to kill him, to rip him to shreds for killing her father, and trying to buy her." I laughed, thinking about how my previous incarnation, on the way to the Mandolorian Wars, freed her from that life. That chuckle turned to an insidious grin. "I let her. I urged her to do it. To give in to the hate, the passion, the revenge. And she did. It took that twi'lek almost five minutes to finally expire the way she was cutting him." Bastilla's face pulled into one of shock...she had no clue what had happened to Xor, or why Juhani had been so stressed out after that. I sighed, softly. "I was hoping that her indulgences, her emotional nurturing would have had her join us. But....her refusal angered me." I advanced on my apprentice now, voice dropping, ice-cold anger slipping into it. "I expect you to never refuse me, or I will truly make you suffer."

Her eyes gave two distinct impressions, the first being fear, absolute knowlege in her mind that should she anger me, there would be nothing to save her from my wrath. And the other impression was that some part of her would somehow enjoy that. No doubt thanks to Malak's attempt to break her. Her voice shook, just a bit, as she lowered her head. "I understand, Master." I smiled, knowing I had her totally cowed. However, she had not angered me yet, and I did not want her to live in total fear of what might happen. I stepped forward the last bit of distance between us, right hand coming up to cup her chin ever so softly, lifting her face to mine. She was slightly shocked, unsure of what was happening, and let out a little squeak, which would have been a sentance if I hadn't silenced it, my lips sliding over hers. She instantly melted, her hands coming up to my body, wrapping around my shoulder, lips working against mine. She even took a little more initiative and I could feel her tongue brush against mine. We broke the kiss softly, gazing at each other. "Master, we should get to the Hawk..." Her voice was filled with regret, but she was right. I nodded, and we unwrapped ourselves from each other, and continued down the path.

We finally got to the Hawk, and the rest of our companions were sitting around in front of the ramp, a small fire going to warm them up. HK was the first to notice us, I believe, as his head turned to look at us, and the next moment everyone else was on their feet. I closed the rest of the distance, and could hear their voices.

Carth ran up to us, his excitement obvious on his face. "You've returned! And Bastilla is with you? How did you manage that?" Over his shoulder I saw the others, Mission stepping back, face filling with a dawning horror, while Canderous seemed to be analyzing my very soul. I turned back to Carth.

"Why, it's quite simple. She left Malak to stop me, and I convinced her to work with us instead." My smile was dry, shallow, a hollow impression on my lips.

Carth saw the grin, and looked to Bastilla. I saw the perverbial gears in his head turning. "That...doesn't make sense. And what about Juhani and Jolee? They went to find you, saying that you needed help. What's going on, Ja," at which point I held my hand up, eyes flaring, silencing him, the hollow grin never leaving my lips.

"Don't call me that, Carth. The persona is a lie. I am Revan." The gears in his head ground to a halt, and I saw the dawning fear in his eyes. The next moment would be crucial for his continued existance, and I truly hoped he would make the wrong decision. And, after a moment's hesitation, he did.

"You've turned on us!" His pistols were drawn the next instant, though he held off on firing. Trying to shoot a Jedi, or a Sith, within range of their lightsaber was never a wise decision. "You've turned on the Jedi, on the Republic!" He started to back up, side stepping as to keep everyone in his paranoid sights.

"Oh, no Carth. I haven't turned on anyone. I've simply returned to myself." Soon as he was more than a few meters away, my sabers ignited, the green and violet blades humming to life. However, I still did not attack. It was not fear that stayed my hand, but being prudent. He had a direct bead on my head, and trying to deflect his shooting while attacking him would just be difficult. However, instead of simply opening fire, he turned and ran, hard, towards the Elder's encampment. Of course...it was empty.

Bastilla came up behind me, and I could see the confusion on her face just from her voice. "You let him go?"

I nodded, turning to face her and the rest. "It wasn't worth it to try and kill him. He'll be trapped here....and we can always hunt him down later." I looked them at the remaining companions. "The question is, who else will follow me, or follow him?"

Bastilla turned as well, regarding the three organics, and the two droids. "HK and T3 will follow you, without fail. Their programming will force them to. As for the others..." She trailed off, and I turned to focus my attention fully on them, Canderous to start.

His scarred visage was pulled into a grin, full of anticipation and barely contained battle lust. "During our wars, you were the greatest enemy we could hope to face, Revan. You personally took on Mandalore himself, and won. Following you has given me a hint of the great battles you fought in during the war, and now you plan on continuing the conquest of the republic. I will follow you without question." I grinned at him in the same way, before turning to Mission.

She, unlike Canderous, was not happy with the turn of events. I believe it was all she had to not run after our encounter on the Leviathan. She had to have been hoping that Revan was truly dead in my mind, that I would stay loyal to the Republic. Now, she was frozen with fear, body shaking. I slowly advanced on her, making a deliberate show of locking my sabers on my belt. "And what about you, Mission?" My voice was calm, cool, collected, any malice left out. "Will you continue following me?"

She shook her head, softly, her lekku unwrapping from her neck to fall straight behind her. I could feel her body refusing to run, in spite of her brain screaming for it to happen. "I...I can't! I can't just help you kill anyone in the Republic!"

My anger started to rise in my gut, but I forced it down. She was young, and in spite of being as street smart as she was, she was still very niave. I could turn her to me...I knew it. "But that's not my goal, Mission." I had finished closing the distance between us, and I started to circle her slowly. "I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to. It was not my idea to use the tactics Malak has adopted. I would have never allowed Taris to be wiped out like it was." I stopped behind her, and gently placed my hands on her shoulders, which elicted a shudder from her entire body. It was not simply fear that caused it, though, the other emotions washing from her very core.

"B..But you want to destroy the republic," her voice was waivering. "You're going to wage war...hold everyone in fear of death...."

I stepped closer to her, my body pressing against hers, my lips near her ear, voice dropping to a whisper. Zalbaar gurgled softly, a mix of warning and concern, however a single glare from me shut him up. "I just want to replace the current government, Mission. They will be the ones who will fight, or surrender. If they don't fight, I won't kill them. It was the Republic's weak standards that allowed the Mandalorians to go as far as they could. It was the Jedi Council's hesitation that pushed so many people to follow me. I HAVE to do this, Mission." Her body slumped, eyes screwing shut, mind trying to keep it's thoughts straight. "I'm not asking you to fight directly. I thought you would have known better, Mission. I helped your brother out, didn't I?" She nodded, confusion seating deeper in her head. "If I was this evil being you think I am, I would have never done that. I like you, Mission. You're pretty, fun to talk to, full of pep and enthusiasm. I don't want to see that destroyed. I wouldn't make you this assassin or anything. In fact, I would simply put you as the head of my security detail. You would be in charge of the people who would protect the common folk." I pressed against her a little more, voice dropping to less than a whisper, and I could see Bastilla's knowing smirk. After all, curtailing to one's desires is the best way to get them to see your side. "And, in a couple years, when you've finished blossoming into a beautiful woman, I know I could make you very...." I let my right hand trail down her arm, fingertips barely brushing her skin, "happy." After I finished my last word, I could feel her entire body shudder again, the goosebumps running down her arm after my finger.

"I....I can't," she whispered, almost sobbing. "I want to believe you, Revan...but I can't. I can't help you do this."

My anger started to rise again, my body going rigid, which she felt, her own body growing stiff with fear. "There is no middle ground, Mission. You are either with me, or against me. I want you with me."

She broke down completely at this point, her body finally listening to her brain, and she took a stumbling step forward to collapse at my feet, turning to face me, fear gripping her completely. Her voice broken by her sobs, cheeks awash with her tears. "I...I just can't! Please, let me go, I won't fight you! I'll just stay here."

My eyes flashed steel, and she shrank away. My voice was cold, quiet, and demanding. "This is your last chance, Mission. Join me, or suffer." She screwed her eyes shut again, sobs wracking her chest, and ever so slightly shook her head. The third rejection was too much, and I could see my new apprentice wondering what I would do. I turned to Zalbaar. "Kill her."

The wookie let out a roar, anger flooding from him for the demand, denying me that he would do it. Mission's eyes had fluttered open at my demand and she turned to try and run to find Canderous standing behind her, his repeating blaster pointed at her face. "You swore me a life-debt, Zalbaar. Now kill her." The wookie denied me again, and started to advance, Bacca's Blade in his massive paw. I sighed, heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose, then reached out with the force, touching his mind.

"Zalbaar, look! It's Chuundar!" The wookie's eyes glazed over as my lies hit his brain, his perception starting to alter to what I was saying. Mission looked at me, eyes going so wide they might have popped from her head, her voice trying to get to him, "Don't listen to him, Big Z! It's me, Mission!"

I pushed deeper into his mind, blocking off his hearing, only continuing to talk so that everyone knew what I was saying to him. "He lies, Zalbaar. Like he lied about the slavers, like he lied about you. We're on Kashyyk, Zalbaar. Chuundar killed your father, then had Czerka kill Mission! Don't you remember?" His body slumped as Mission kept screaming at him, begging him to listen. "You have your chance, Zalbaar. Kill him, regain your honor, claim the title of chief of your tribe!" He stood up, eyes still glazed over, but his entire body ready for combat, his vibroblade brought up to strike at his "brother". But, it didn't feel right. "No, Zalbaar. You need to be more poetic than that. Rip his arms out, and beat him to death with his own claws. That will show everyone who the true madclaw is."

At this, Mission finally got her feet under her, and tried to run, but Z charged her, bowling her over before she had taken four steps. His massive paws then wrapped around Mission's biceps, and he started to squeeze, her voice elevating quickly from a pained moan to a full-out scream. Her arms started to swell as blood got cut off from returning to her body, and the wookie pulled outwards. "PLEASE REVAN! DON'T DO THIS!" Mission managed to get that one sentance out right before her shoulders popped out of place, her body slumping from the pain. I held my hand up, for the moment stopping Zalbaar, and stepped up to the semi-unconcious twi'lek. I cupped her chin, forcing her to look at me. "Will you follow me?" My voice was soft, but carried the full weight of my anger. She looked in my eyes, silently begging for mercy, to be released from the pain, and saw only one way to live. I saw her think, her eyes shifting side to side, before dropping, another sob wracking her chest, eyes shut tight, as though that would protect her. I stepped back, letting her chin drop along with my other hand, and Zalbaar continued his task. He squoze tighter, and pulled hard. With a wet, squishing pop, both of Mission's arm were detached from her body. The pain alone made her drop to the ground, and then the wookie started to beat her over the head with her own fists. The first few blows only bruised her flesh, but then the skin split, and finally her skull as well. When he finally finished, I looked down at myself, at the bloody mess my robes were now in.

I sighed, dropping the illusion in Zalbaar's mind, irritated that I now had to change robes, and the wookie looked at his handywork. His howl brought my attention back to the present, and turned my full attention to Zalbaar.

"I swore the life-debt to you, and have regretted every moment of it since, Revan!" His howls and roars were actually painful to my ears. "Now you have destroyed the last thing I had to live for! I WILL KILL YOU!" He then picked up both Bacca's Blade, and took Mission's Vibroblade from her belt and started to advance on me. I heard Bastilla's saber ignite, as well as the heavy clanking of Canderous' blaster being aimed at the wookie. However, I didn't even want to waste the time fighting him, so I reached up, and his breathing was cut off. Anger drove him forward, though, and he continued his advance. It was truly a shame he chose this path...his strength would have been so useful. I lifted my arm higher, his feet leaving the ground. Desperation filled his face, slowly mixing with, then replacing his anger. I focused my mind, squoze tighter, and snapped my wrist, and the loud cracking of his neck shattering echoed in the area for a moment, before I dropped him.

I stepped over to his body, pulling out the implant from his neck, and picking up the weapons. "Hmm. That IS a shame." I turned to my remaining loyal followers. "Canderous, I hate to ask this of your skills, but could you skin him? His fur is very soft...it would make a wonderful cover for the pilot's seat. I would do it, but have no skill in such a thing, and I have a task for HK." The Mandalorian thought for a moment, then nodded, stepping past me.

"Query: What is it you wish for me to do, Master?" HK asked as I turned my attention to him.

"Simple, HK. I'm reactivating your assassination protocal. Your first target is Captian Carth Onasi." I grinned. "I expect you to be back before Canderous finishes the wookie's hide."

"Elated Confrimation: It would be my GREAT pleasure to eradicate that worthless, whining meatbag from the face of the galaxy." He turned to carry out my order when I had a thought.

"Oh, HK." He turned to listen, and I swear his face dropped, if it were possible, most likely thinking I was going to cancel the order. "Don't damage his armor, and retrieve it and his weapons. We may need them."

"Concerned prediction: That may make things more difficult, Master. By using pinpoint targeting instead of simply showering his meatbag body with laser bolts, he may evade some blasts. It will simply take more time, and I may not be back before the wookie meatbag is just meat."

I laughed at his responce, and grinned, nodding. "Well, make it as fast as possible then, HK, but bring back his armor and weapons." He nodded, turning to go hunt down Carth, and I turned to Bastilla. "Well, my dear, while we wait, I need a shower and a change of a robe. Join me?" She grinned wickedly and followed me up onto the ship.



And thus ends the adventures on the Unknown World. My final chapter will be going to the Star Forge, as well as Malak's defeat.
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:39 PM   #7
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I really don't have the appreciation for this kind of thing. Although Revan was by all means extremely evil, I just don't go for this kind of unrelenting bullying and sadistic behavior.

Bastila's fear of the monster she was helping made sense. I understood why she would have reservations for changing from one oppressor to another. I think that Revan would have been a greater influence if he loved her instead of treating her as a servant. The confidence mixed with reservation was a great touch, but I really hated the betrayals leading to extreme punishment. If you slaughter everyone, who's left to be terrified?
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:53 PM   #8
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I do know what you mean. Like I said, though, I'm just expanding on the character in the situation, following the game.

I think the reason Revan killed Carth, Mission, Jolee, Juhani, and Zalbaar in the game was because they were potential threats.

Me, personally, would have loved to see Juhani and Mission at the very least be able to be turned if you went for the dark-side ending, depending on their personal quests through the game. For example, if you did convince her to be angry, let her kill Xor, then Juhani would easily step into the role of the Sith.

And Mission's rejection in the game wasn't this self-rightous "I've got to stop you!", as much as it was a "I can't do this." Revan didn't need to make Zalbaar kill her.

I'm following what happened, but showing my interpretation of how twisted, evil, and monstrous Revan really could be, if his charisma and charm failed.
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Old 08-22-2008, 11:27 PM   #9
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Considering that you were following the game's DS ending, this is good. I too would have likewd Mission and Juhani to aid Revan. The evidence you just gave would be enough to suggest they could, realistically turn to aid Revan. And Zalbaar would follow Mission I suppose.

The reasoning behind Revan's actions is what you were focusing on, and this part was good. You wanted to show how twisted Revan is. Well turning Big Z into a seat cover pretty much did that.

I know it would be repetitive, but a version inwhich Revan saves Juhani mand Mission would be interesting...

Anyway, while it is not something I would write, as I tend to write about the good guys, but I can appreciate how it is well written and Revan's thought process. There are plenty of people on the forums who would really go for this sort of thing though let me tell you...

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 08-22-2008, 11:35 PM   #10
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Thanks HOP.

Like I said at the beginning, I'm a good guy, and normally play it.

I just wanted to make something more of DS Revan than "blah! I'm bad! Blah, Blah!"

I've got a more thorough "Dark Side Charismatic Revan" plot in my head, and I might put it in. Perhaps as a more extensive story beyond the scope of the game, touching into TSL as well.
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Old 08-25-2008, 07:05 PM   #11
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My god... poor Mission - and I thought Juhani's situation seemed sick. >_>'

Great story, perhaps a little chilling, but that's what the Dark side is, ey?

I'm glad I read this now - and no, you are not a bad writer!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-26-2008, 06:23 AM   #12
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Sometimes, even a cunning and smart evil guy, isn't as bad as a bad guy who just loves killing for the fun of it. With no ambition to worry about life, taking it at will.

I don't wanna meet that guy :^|

Chillingly well written. Very,scary character, Revan is!
Ohh, Yoda talk, that sounded like.

Anyways.
Can't wait for the mutilation of Malak!!!

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Old 08-26-2008, 09:26 PM   #13
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Final Ascension
--~~====~~--

I climbed up the boarding ramp, already opening and pulling off my robe. I could hear the vibro-blade ignite and start cutting as Canderous started making my new seat-cover, as well as HK's sing-song style of speech as he yelled a threatening taunt across the valley towards Carth's presumed position. I had one more thought, turning to face T3.

"T3, I nearly forgot. The parts for the engine are in the bay, and need to be installed. You are the most mechanically inclined among us. Get to work installing and tuning the engines." At his beeping acknowlegement of my command, I turned to Bastilla fully, smiling softly. I had to have been a sight, robes half open, legs and torso spattered with blood that soaked through the robes. "My dear, ready to help me clean?" She nodded with anticipation, and followed me into the ship.

After we finished, and I was clean, we were in the port quarters dressing. I could feel Canderous in the cockpit, fitting the fur over the pilot's seat, as well as HK's clunking feet indicating that he was back. The deck below my feet was rumbling softly, indicating the engines were back online...all was going very well. Then, as I glanced over at Bastilla, I knew something was on her mind. She was staring at me...no fear or adoration in her eyes, but confusion. I stood up fully, robes hanging loosely on my body, bare feet on the deck. My voice was soft, "What is it?"

She looked me in the eye, realizing I caught her. She sat on the bunk she was next to, stringing her words together. I could feel her emotions, fear, guilt, confusion...and a hint of anger. Finally she spoke, not able to look at me directly. "My Lord...you have to know right now, I am happy. My new sense of freedom, being with you...it's so releasing to be able to express myself." She chewed her lower lip, working the courage to continue. "I knew, especially after you had me reconcile with my mother, that I loved you, that I wanted you. I refused to admit it, yes, but I knew in my heart that I did. Then, I finally was able to openly embrace my feelings for you, at your gentle pushing." Her lips pulled into a soft smile, and I could feel my gut twist as I saw tears staining her cheeks. "That first kiss....was amazing, my Lord. It was so liberating, exciting....I still get butterflies in my stomach thinking about it." Her head dropped, her right hand resting just below her stomach. "Then, today, seeing you again...and that wonderful act we've done, twice, I can't even explain how I feel." She paused to take a breath, and I could hear the shudder in her lungs, the held back sob. "Outside, before Mission made the mistake of denying you...you offered her the same when she finished growing up. I understand...it's just a tool. Another thing to make people do as you wish, by allowing them to live out their desires." She finally looked at me, on the verge of breaking down. "Please, tell me Revan, how I fit into your plan? I love what you do to me...but if I'm just a tool for you...I'd rather..." at this, the sob building in her chest finally loosed itself, and she burried her face in her hands. Her fear of my rejecting her now for this show of weakness was overwhelming.

I knew, no matter what I said now, she would follow me, would do as I said, and even if I loathed her and thought nothing of her, she would still give me her body if I even hinted at wanting it. Because of her loyalty, I needed her to know exactly how I felt. I moved to the bunk, sitting beside her, however I refrained from touching her. "Bastilla, your assessment of what I offered Mission is correct. It was a lure, a bait for her to nibble at, to draw her to me. She refused, and suffered the concequences. However," she looked up, and I reached out, tracing her bangs back off her forhead and over her ear, cradling her head softly, "you have to remember, Bastilla, your feelings for me were without strings, without concequence. The reason I helped you with your mother, the reason I did kiss you at your request, was not simply to make you my tool. After all, that first, delicious kiss was before I even remembered who I am." I smiled softly, and her chest was relaxing, a small smile starting to play on her lips. "I will admit, I may very likely use base lust as a tool to control some people, Bastilla. And, while in public, I will most likely show you the same haughtiness that I show most...after all, I can not be weak." This elicted a nod from her, and I scooted closer to her, gently wrapping my arm around her shoulders. I looked her in the eye, opened myself fully to her to show I hid nothing, "These things do not mean I love you any less, Bastilla. You are mine, not because you are simply useful, or because it's fun. But because I desire you, fully. I don't want just your loyalty and willingness. I want you to admire me, to adore me, to want me as much as I want you...and I want you to want me to want you. The physical display, while fun, is just that. An act, a display of passion." I leaned closer, her face flushing with her rekindled passion. "What we share goes beyond that. If anyone takes you from me again, I will tear this entire galaxy apart to destroy them utterly and entirely. You have to share my body with others, my love, but you have my devotion."

At this, she finally threw herself onto me, pushing us down on the bunk, a new sob wracking her chest while her lips layered my jaw with kisses. "I'm so sorry for doubting you my love..." I silenced her there with a deep kiss, squeezing her close, before breaking away.

"There is no need. I am a manipulative person, and you had good reason to doubt our intamacy, Bastilla. But I do, indeed love you. However, we are starting to run low on time." She looked at me quizzically, just as she heard heavy bootsteps coming down the corridor.

Canderous came around the corner to find us on opposite sides of the room, Bastilla's back to the doorway as she finished adjusting her robe and hair, myself facing it as I finished slipping on my boots. I looked up, locking gazes. He knew what we had done, and had no thoughts of it either way. "Revan, the ship is up and running, HK is back with Onasi's equipment, and the long-range scanners have picked up the republic fleet exiting hyperspace." I nodded, standing, and turned to my apprentice to see if she was ready. She was, so I headed out to the lounge, Bastilla a step behind me.

"Canderous, take us off this rock. We will contact the Republic fleet." He nodded, heading up to the cockpit, and a few moments later we were in the sky, then open space. Just as we broke orbit, we were hailed. I looked to Bastilla and nodded, and she activated the communicator.

"This is Admiral Dodonna, calling the Ebon Hawk. Ebon Hawk, do you read me?"

Bastilla responded, "Yes, Admiral, this is Bastilla Shan. We read you loud and clear. What can we do for you?"

"Bastilla? Jedi Starri informed us and the council that you had been captured by the enemy on the Leviathan!" The Admiral's voice barely contained her elation.

Before Bastilla could even respond, I locked gazes with her through the hologram, my look telling her exactly what do say, just before the hologram shifted to include Master Vandar next to the Admiral. Bastilla smiled softly, and nodded. "It was a trying time, Admiral. Master Vandar, it is good to see you again. Darth Malak had gloated during my incarceration that he had wiped out the Academy on Datooine. I am pleased at you being alright." She turned her focus back to the Admiral. "As for being here, I was fortunate enough to escape when I was left with some non-force-sensitive guards, and met up with Ja'on on the planet surface."

Vandar smiled, nodding. "Good this is, for you now can assist with the invasion of the Forge."

I stepped forward now, "Master Vandar, I need Bastilla with me during the ground invasion of the Forge. He skill and knowlege of the force will be invaluable during the strike. Once we get to the command center, I assure you she will remain there and direct the fleet to victory." I could see Vandar's hesitation at my words, no doubt feeling the deception in them. However, he nodded in the end.

"A good plan, that is. Lead the strike force, you shall, in the Hawk, and leave Malak to you, we will." I smiled, bowed, and cut the link.

"What was that about, My Lord?" Bastilla asked as we headed to the cockpit. I smiled as I explained.

"If you had directly lied about helping, we would have been discovered. If you denied using your Battle Meditation to assist on your own accord, we would have been discovered."

"Yes, but you lied to him. How did he not feel it?" Her confusion at the conversation was cute.

I stopped, facing her directly, and grinned. "Did I lie, though? Think of the words I used, very carefully." I let her think about it for a moment, and as realization hit her eyes, I continued. "Exactly. I told him I would lead THE fleet to victory...I never said which fleet. There is a tremendous amount of Dark Side energy emenating from the Forge and the Planet. So, any deception from me alone would be masked by the overpowering undercurrent of energy. I just let him think what he wanted to. Now, let's land. I'm getting anxious."

I relieved Canderous from the pilots seat, as numerous blips on the scanner showed the republic landing shuttles and fighters falling in behind us, as well as an armada of sith fighters scrambling from the Forge. "Canderous, take the top turrets, target any sith fighters that attack us directly." I then took the helm, expertly flying through the onslaught of ships, linking the locked-forward quads to the pilot's console to help blast anything directly in front of the ship. It was harrowing, between 50 to 1 odds against the Republic fleet, and the cannons blaring from the Forge itself. However, the Force assisted me in avoided almost every shot fired at us, something Carth never managed to do. Some of the republic ships tried to follow in my wake, mirroring my moves, so I started cutting some of the maneuvers closer to the incoming fire, dodging at only the last instant. The hapless Republic pilots behind me, reacting to a hair's-breadth move on my part, couldn't keep up, and many ships burnt out and exploded. This of course, was my plan, after all...the less of them there are now, the less I will have to deal with later.

Finally, we broke through the fighters, and were too close to the dock for any of the Forge's turrets to target us, and I initiated the auto-dock procedures. Once landed, I headed over to the ramp. "Bastilla, Canderous, you two will accompiany me directly. T3, continue the maintinance of the ship. I want to make sure this bucket of bolts is ready laters. HK, guard the entrance. If ANYONE other than myself, Bastilla, or Canderous try to board..." I grinned so sadistically that his eyes actually glowed red with pleasure, "kill them. Painfully."

"Overelated statement: I will gladly destroy any meatbags without authorization to enter the ship, Master."

I nodded, turning to Canderous and Bastilla. "Canderous, make sure you have the best possible armor equipped, and that your repeated is completely tuned. Bastilla, ensure your focusing and augmentation crystals are set the way you really want them to be." The two nodded, heading back into the ship for a few minutes. Bastilla returned first, then Canderous. He had swapped to Kasus Fett's armor, and his repeater had been replaced and upgraded to it's maximum potential. Even as a Jedi, I knew he would be a force to be reconed with. "Let's go."

We left the Hawk to find a few of the Republic ships had landed in the docking bay as well, a handful of Jedi fighting a slightly larger group of Sith. The Jedi, in spite of the numbers, definately had the advantage. They were focused, disciplined, and determined, where as the sith were careless and sloppy, relying on the tactics Malak had used...brute force. I nodded to my companions, and our own assault started with Canderous opening fire, layering the entire bay with enhanced laser bolts. Bastilla and I went opposite directions, flanking the two groups, cutting down anyone trying to run to the sides to avoid Canderous' barrage. Soon, there was only one Jedi left, heavily wounded from the assaults. "Why? Why did you kill us all?" He coughed heavily, blood splattering the ground.

I knelt next to him, stroking his hair from his face, clearing his eyes. "Because you all were in my way." Fear struck his eyes then, but instead of drawing his saber to try and attack me, he shrank away, recognizing what I now was. However, instead of finishing him off, I stood, turning away. "My errant apprentice awaits." I started down the hall, calling over my shoulder, "Find refuge in the Hawk, if you can. I'm not going to kill you." I could feel his relief, and he started crawling toward the ship. Just as I was heading down the hall, I could hear a chain-reaction of blaster shots cutting off a gurgling scream.

The trip through the forge was disappointing. There were numerous combat droids, a plethora of mines, and a few assaults from the Sith themselves. They were all weak. Malak had bred an entire army of weak, misguided idiots. It angered me to think how far the Sith had fallen...I commanded an army that made forces ten times their size shake in their boots with fear...and Malak had single-handedly turned them into a collection of thugs. He will pay for this.

There was one item of importance...a console that could create items. I had never felt entirely comfortable in the Jedi robes, or the Sith variants. They were always too loose, too open, and not reinforced enough for my tastes. I missed my old robes, so at the console, I hacked the system, and found that the record of my old pattern was still listed. A moment later, the dispenser spat out a new version, slightly enhanced, of my old robes. I discarded the Sith robes I was wearing with no shame, after all Canderous was a military man, for lack of better term, and knew that the best armor took priority over modesty, and Bastilla just enjoyed the show. When the robe was in place, I sighed, happily, the feeling of the fabric on my skin was like an embrace of an old friend. I tapped into the console one more time, hoping that the schematics were still there...and they were. My mask. A moment later, the dispenser clunked, and I pulled out my face-covering, and dawned it. I looked to my companions, and could see the same appreciation for my imposing figure on Canderous that I had for him before leaving the Hawk. Bastilla, on the other hand, just bit her lower lip, and if not for the mission, she would have thrown herself onto me again.

After another set of corridors of weak Sith and stupid droids, we finally came to the command center. I knew, from my own memory, that there was only one more corridor before the chamber Malak and I used to command the armada from. I turned to my companions.

"Bastilla, you must stay here. This is the apex of command for the fleet, from here your Battle Meditation will push the Sith to their absolute limits. The particular emenations from the forge will most likely augment your power, expanding it past anything you had ever controlled before. You should easily command our troops, and throw the Republic into disarray at the same time." She nodded, moving to the center of the room, kneeling, and starting her trance. I turned to Canderous. "I am leaving her in your hands, Canderous. You will protect her from ANYONE who thinks of coming here. Until I return through the back doors, no one enters this room." He nodded and started to move past me to blockade the door, when I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him, my voice dropping. "If ANYONE makes it through that door, or if she takes even the slightest scratch, Ordo, you will pay with your life for a very long time. And do not mistake my attachment to her as a weakness. It is my greatest strength now, for it will drive me to do things I would normally not in lieu of easier methods."

Canderous stared at me for a moment, thinking about what I did to Mission and Zalbaar, and mulled over my words. When his eyes showed he understood how far I could go if pushed, he nodded. "I promise you Revan, nothing will touch her, save your hand." I smiled under my mask, and let him continue his work. Without another word, I headed to the back corridor.

When I stepped through the door, I saw six large contraptions I did not remember from before, and heard the blast doors behind me seal themselves. Malak's irritating voice came over a comm, "Ah, my old master, come to face his apprentice? Well, Revan, I am waiting through the door. If you can live long enough to get to me, I'll be waiting for you." He trailed off with a laughter, that apparently was meant to un-nerve me. It only succeeded in working me up, then the machines in the hall came to life, and six combat droids, a configuration I had never seen, were assembled in the blink of an eye. It took only a few blasts of lightning to destroy them, only to be replaced instantly.

"This could be bad," I thought to myself. "The Forge has unlimited resources...and these are tied directly to it." I started worked over to the closest machine, fighting in a purely defensive manner, and found that there was a console. A quick hack into it let me shut down the first machine, though it took quite a few of my computer spikes. I noticed a bin next to the console, though, and saw another spike in it. I grabbed it, and killed the droids as they approached me. When I finally cut the droid from the shut-down machine to scrap, I heard a slight thunk, and looked in the bin. Another spike had dropped in. I grinned to myself and grabbed it, ready to implement my plan. It took 6 spikes to shut down a console, I now had 4. I fought the remaining droids conservatively, carefully, defensively, until I had destroyed enough to collect the remaining 30 spikes I would require. I then went console to console, collecting the units, and shutting down each machine. After no new robots were being created, I finished off the remaining droids, and heard the door leading to Malak unlock.

I sat down for a moment. In spite of being careful, the fight had drained me just a bit. I rested as long as I felt I could, then headed over to the door, ready to face my old friend and former apprentice. When the door opened, my eyes widened in shock. I knew Malak had invaded and destroyed Datooine, but I thought most of the Jedi there to be dead. Instead, a good portion of the padewan and knights were here, kept in a form of stasis in modified force cages. I could feel it, they were neither dead, nor alive. Their brains were non-functioning, there was no thought, no struggle...yet the bodies were whole, filled with life energy. I entered the room, and saw my target standing in the middle of the room, staring out the window.

His synthesized voice echoed eerily in the large room, "Ah, my former Master come as a pawn of the council." He paused, turning, and I could see the shock in his eyes at my garb. "Or is he? The armada is fighting as it never had before...almost as if..."

I finished for him, "Bastilla is using her Battle Meditation to assist them."

He chuckled, softly. "I thought that you had killed her on the planet, Revan, when she did not return. However, this is interesting...have you come to bow to my feet?"

This elicted a laugh from me, cold, hard, and slightly maniacal. He stepped back from me as I started forward. "Bow, at your feet? Hardly!" I dropped the mirth from my voice. "You have weaked the Sith, Malak. Turned them from a force to fear, into common thugs. You allowed the academy on Korriban to go to the pits, with not 1, but 3 changes in the leadership. The academy is now completely deserted, thanks in large to your incompetance." At this I drew my sabers, igniting them, the green and violet blades glowing against the black robes. "You have only proven you truly do not deserve the title of Sith Lord, Malak, and I am here to reclaim it."

He ignited his own single, red blade, roaring loudly as he charged. His emotions betrayed his every move long before he even started his swing, though his fury sped his motion up. I fought defensively, blocking every blow without effort, but unable to counter. I then focused the force into my limbs, and everything seemed to slow down. Instead of using both of my blade to block, I more than matched his speed, and the shorter violet blade became my shield. This left my green blade open, and I started my own assault, and he found himself on the defensive, backing away where as I had stood my ground. He hit the steps, and ever so slightly lost his balance, and I stepped back, thrusting my hand forward. He was as unprepared for the wave of energy that hit him as Juhani had been, and he flew across the room to smash into one of the force cages, shattering his left shoulder. He landed wrong, and obviously sprained his ankle to boot.

He stood up slowly, carefully, laughing coldly. "You underestimate me, my former master. I took your lesson to heart when you removed my jaw after Telos. I now no longer waste possible resources." He closed his eyes, and a red snaking beam of energy lashed out and locked onto the cage holding the Jedi, and right before my eyes, he drained every ounce of life energy from the cage, leaving the corpse of the Jedi imprissoned in it a desicated husk at the bottom of the container. Malak's shoulder healed itself instantly and fully, and he was able to evenly distribute his weight between both feet.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Malak, I am impressed." I nodded to the ingenious of his plan...there were another good 13 or 14 such jedi. "However, you made one mistake." Before he could ask what that was, I charged him, still enhanced with the force. He barely blocked in time, and I fought him back towards the window. When he was the right distance, I lauched another wave of energy against him, throwing him against the hand-rail below the window, stunning him as his back almost shattered from the impact. I took the moment to move to half of the remaining Jedi, centering myself. "Your mistake was to show your enemy your secret weapon." I then concentrated, and my own ability to drain life activated. Unlike Malak, though, I had perfected the skill, and was able to drain multiple beings at once. Where he drained just 1 Jedi, I now drained 7. Not only did their energy revitalize my body, pumping it to it's maximum, but the excess bleed off recharged my mind, freeing it from the fatigue from using the Force so much.

Malak finally got his feet under him, running towards the remaining Jedi, draining one to recharge himself, before turning, trying to act as a wall against me taking the rest. If I couldn't break past him, and he could drain the last 6 Jedi alone, he would win this fight. I knew it, as did he. I threw another wave of energy at him, only this time he was prepared, and the push washed over him, leaving him standing like a wall. In responce, he launched his saber at me, and I saw my chance. Instead of evading the blade, or blocking it, I caught it on mine, my wrist circling, keeping the red saber in motion, twirling around my blade, before snapping my wrist, launching Malak's own saber back at him, guiding it with the force. Soon as I felt him touch the hilt with his mind, I let it go. He pulled his weapon back to his hand, to see me charging him, fast and hard. Instead of getting into melee range though, I had hooked my saber back on my belt, focusing the Force into my hands. When I was close enough, I loosed the energy, a concentrated blast of lightning errupting from my fingertips, washing over his body, throwing him back, burning his flesh. Stray arcs lashed out, connecting with a few of the remaining cages, disabling them, the Jedi dying. Instead of a horrid death, though, they seemed to be released from their prison, pure radiance surrounding them, holding them aloft, before their bodies faded. Malak stood up and charged me, only to have another blast of lightning wash over his body, throwing him back again. As he laid there, I moved to the remaining Jedi, and used the field of energy to drain the life from the last three cages. Malak was now beaten, laying on the ground, body burnt and broken, while I was at my peak. But I was not finished. I moved to him, grabbed him by the throat, and pushed him against the window to watch the fight in space.

"Do you see the error of your ways, yet, Malak? Your hard-handed tactics did not break the republic. It pushed them to fight as they never had before. You angered the common people, drove men and women to join the military. I will openly admit that you always had the pure strength over me, in physicality, and tactics. But that is not TRUE strength. True strength is turning people to you, showing them how wrong they are, making them believe you are right." I tilted my head, "Even if they know you are wrong. Saul, Dustil, every jedi who joined us in the Mandalorian wars. It was not fear that made them listen to us. It was power and strength. It was getting into their minds and making them listen. Not a simple breaking, though, as you attempted with my Bastilla. But actually making them WANT to follow you." He started to say something, but I discharged a very small arc of lightning into his voice emmitter. "No, Malak, you are done. I will make you a deal, though. If the flagship stands, and our forces trained under you fall, I will not kill you. We will turn ourselves to the will of the Jedi Council and the Republic." I grinned very darkly under the mask, and I know he could feel my malice. "If it falls, however, it will not have been because of you. It will be because Bastilla follows me, and she is helping them. And if the Republic fleet falls...you will wish for death long before I grant you it."

We watched in silence after that, the dogfighting and auto-turrets blasting green and red lasers through space. Slowly, but steadily, the Republic fighters fell, then the frigates, until only the flagship with Master Vandar and Admiral Dodonna was left. It started to turn to jump out of the sector, when a suprise showed up. A battered Mandalorian battleship jumped out of hyperspace, right in the flagship's path, and started opening fire. The Sith Armada flanked the ship, blasting it as well, and it was less than a minute before it exploded. "Ah well, Malak, you lived a good life, right?" I laughed at my joke as I started dragging his struggling body out of the chamber.

In the command center, Canderous and Bastilla were waiting for me. I threw Malak down between us. "That was an interesting turn of events, Canderous. I wonder what happened."

He grinned at me, pointing to a long range communicator. "I used that to contact my clan, who were hiding our old ship, just in case we may ever have needed it. We will follow you, Revan, to the ends of the galaxy itself." I nodded.

Malak had started crawling towards Bastilla, and I could sense the force starting to gather in him. Before I needed to act though, Bastilla gracefully spun to the side, her saber activating, slicing off Malak's arm. The pitiful noise he made from the pain brought a smile to all three of our faces. "Master, please, let me show this worm what it means to cross you?" Bastilla begged. I was curious what she had in mind, so I nodded. She then started touching Malak, carefully, with her saber, the blade poking holes in his clothes and scorching his body. She kept this up until he finally stopped moving, his body going into shock from the pain.

I moved beside my girl, resting my hand on her shoulder. "Very nicely done. If he were a Jedi, that alone would be enough to turn him." I grabbed Malak's legs, and started dragging him to the docking bay. Canderous assisted by picking up his head and shoulders, and we made our way back. There were a few more pockets of Sith resistance, but when they saw me walking, and Malak's broken body, they just fell in behind, knowing better than to attack.

When we reached the bay, I called into the ship. "Oh, HK, come out a moment. I have a present for you." When the droid showed himself, blaster at the ready in case I wasn't really me, I shifted, showing him Malak.

"Statement: Why, it's the first meatbag. He looks very nearly broken at this point, Master. Shall we finish him off?" I nodded, and HK stood a moment thinking. "Musing: Master, I wonder how long a broken meatbag body would last in the vacume of space. When I was damage, I stayed in space a long time before being found. I doubt the meatbag will last that long."

I grinned under my mask, and I could feel new terror gripping Malak. "That's a good question, HK. However, I don't want him to suffocate out there." We took his body to the shield, and thrust most of his body through the field, keeping his head inside. He started thrashing, his face paling, and his body in space started to swell. Soon, his blood started oozing through his skin, before he finally split open like a piece of fruit being squeezed, and we couldn't keep our grip as he was sucked into space, drifting towards the star.

I turned to my loyal companions, and my love. "Today, was a good day. Now, let's go see my troops."





Well, I hope you all enjoyed my dark-side Revan story.
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Old 08-26-2008, 10:33 PM   #14
Darth_Yuthura
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Revan was so evil that I couldn't stop reading. I really only wish that you extending the Malak scene so that Revan could taunt him longer. Malak was just a fool and a traitor that deserved to be despised. I would advise you add some more anger and threats because he was the source of Revan's struggle for power.

Good chapter!
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Old 08-27-2008, 02:30 AM   #15
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Very evil and violent. Destructive.

Oh, did I mention evil?
Great story, JA. A great insight to a even more twisted dark side Revan, that what I ever thought possible.

I do agree with D_Y however. It would have been good to see Revan taunt and torture Malak for thinking that he could get away with such an act.

Good chapter nonetheless!

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Old 08-27-2008, 03:10 AM   #16
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Well, guys, I plan on a more thorough version of the story...pretty much a first person narritive of the whole game.

It will come to a similar ending, though many key points will be different. I'm just working it out in outline/rough draft/final posted draft first. This way I don't get too far from my concept before I finish.
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Old 08-29-2008, 11:21 AM   #17
Burnseyy
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I thought it was quite clever how you told the last Jedi on the star forge, to go to the ship and that Revan "wasn't" going to kill him you've definitely pulled off an interesting and well rounded dark side character.

And killing Malak is always fun.

Brilliant work! Hope to see the beginning of the story if you do choose to do it.


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Old 09-01-2008, 08:57 PM   #18
Jae Onasi
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You did a good job capturing Revan's evil side, and his manipulation of Bastila and the others around him. I thought his turn back to the dark side was a little abrupt, but I might have missed something in the reading. I caught a few spelling errors--not a major detractor for me, however.

I'd like to see even more dialogue--let them tell us some of the things you told us in the narrative sections. I think that will bring this even more to life. You do a good job of allowing Revan and Bastila to reveal themselves through actions--keep that up.


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Old 09-03-2008, 09:38 PM   #19
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Revan's manipulations were very good. I enjoyed his DS character. As Burnseyy, said, this is a well rounded DS character.

I hope to see your new fic...probably when I least expect it.

P.S. Die, Malak, die! *cheers*

~HOP



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