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Old 08-25-2008, 04:15 PM   #1
bally3000
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Bounty Hunting

A tall well built man wearing a black and green, heavy mandalorian amour dragged a dead corps of a Trandoshan along the floor behind him. He stopped in front of Jabba and through the body in front of him. “here he is, and to think he begged for his life,” The man s******ed “and he begged for me to give him another week and he'd have the money, I do love it when they don't cooperate, 'cause I get to show them my blaster.”. The Hutt laughed in a deep voice and ordered a twi'lek chained to him, to bring over a plate of food. The Man stood forward a bit more, this time he gripped the blaster pistol he had hanging from his belt and pointed at the Hutt. “ what about my money I want it right now” a few people in the small dust filled, palace, raised the blaster rifles and aimed at the man.

Jabba laughed in a deep voice again “you will get your money Zeron, I work with plenty bounty hunters, and I know how your kind work.”. The other bounty hunters lowered there rifles and stepped back to there drinks and women. Zeron also stepped down and loosed his grip on his blaster pistol and turned around to leave but The slug told a Gamorrean to stop Zeron and then he asked the bounty hunter “would you like to help me with another problem, I will pay you some good money?” Zeron slapped the gamorean away and turned around, he nodded and removed his helmet. He had a rough looking face with plenty of battle scars, and was missing his left ear. He had heavy bags under his eyes and short scruffy black hair. “it depends on what I have to do.” he replied.

“you will merely need to bring me a toydarian named nel vite he hasn't given me my share of pay for 3 months and I am not happy.” the Hutt began to chew on some weird food and waited for Zeron to reply to his bounty.

Zeron looked at the ground for a while, and looked up to the Hutt “ I accept your mission” the Hutt opened its huge mouth to speak but was cut short by Zeron, “But remember this Jabba, Just because I did the first bounty doesn't mean I am going to become one of your hounds, and if my money isn't my account in 2 days I am terminating your bounty and leaving this dust filled world. With that he walked out of the palace doors. I watched this from a small booth with a glass of Ithorian Mist, wishing I could become the bounty hunter he is. I always wondered where he got that mandalorian amour. Some people believe he killed the last of the mandalorians and has used there amour to this date, a lot say he had customised it considerably, but some say he just found them in an armoury after killing a bounty and stole them. Either way he is a well known and feared bounty although he chooses not to stay with a certain contractor and tends to travel more around the worlds finding any bounty he can, some even say he worked with the empire taking out key commanders to there rebellion and that he also worked with the rebels. As I taken another sip from my glass a hooded man walked in through the doors with a human following closely behind. The man dropped his hood to revile long ginger hair, purple make up n there face and blue eyes, it was a girl and not just any girl, it was Lara thren. She was a bounty huntress who came to tatooine to bounty hunt at the the same time I decided that I wanted to become a bounty hunter and got my first bounty from Jabba, and I have been here every since. She had brought in her bounty alive and had led them to Jabba.

Jabba laughed deeply as he always did “Ah, Lara my bounty alive again, you ever fail to impress, your credits will be waiting in your account by tomorrow.” The human with Lara lingered back scared by his surroundings and worried about what Jabba was going to do to him. Lara noticed her prisoners worries and pushed him forward towards Jabba “My credits better not be late again Jabba, I don't like having to wait.” she said as she wondered over to the bar ordered her drink, and hurried over to me “hows it going Luke” she sat down next to me, but as I was about to speak cries of plea flooded through the palace as all the bounty hunters and gamorrians laughed. “No no! Please I have children to feed that's why I didn't have the credits for you on time, but I only need a week, please just one more week.” Jabba laughed at the mans sad attempt of plead and clicked a button next to his seat and a trap door opened up underneath him and he hit the floor hard. As all the bounty hunters hurried over to the doors to watch the fight, I just sat here.

Lara looked at me funny as she raised off her seat “are you not coming to watch the fight?”
I shook my head “no I have seen it many times and each time it fails to excite me,” she watched everybody crowd around and sat back down.
“why you staying, I thought you wanted to watch”
she took a sip of her drink “I just don't feel like watching it any more its obvious who's going win, eh, I mean does a shop keeper really stand a chance.” we laughed at the comment, over the roars of people enjoying the fight. “I might leave here soon maybe go and find another planet to explore and more bounties to collect, it seams to be getting quiet for unknown bounty hunters like me.” I sighed as I drank the last of my drink, “ I am beginning to run low on credits.”

Lara looked to me and started to fiddle with her fingers “you don't have to leave, I can borrow you some money, or maybe you should try your luck at pazzack or pod racing. I heard there's good money to be made in that.” she finished drinking her drink and got up to get anther one, “would you like another one?” she asked, I just nodded thinking about what she said a minuet ago, I had tried pazzack before I became a bounty hunter and that got me no where and was part of the reason that I became a bounty, too earn the money I lost and pod racing isn't something I really want to get mixed up in. Also I heard that humans don't really last long in racing unless they have some form of the force running through there blood. “here's your dri...” she was part way through what she was saying when two gamorrean guards burst through the doors with a human struggling to break free, “get off me you ugly freaks” he screamed as he kicked and punched the guards, but the guards just shrugged them off and threw the man to the ground, he gave a moan of pain and stumbled up “yeh that's right now le...” he began to shout at the guards again and then noticed where they had brought him, he looked around and fell to the ground again. Fear hit him as he stared around the room focusing on all the rough looking bounty hunters and finally his eyes settled in my direction as if he new some one. Lara, he's looking at Lara I looked up to see her white faced as if she had seen a ghost and she was looking back at him. “what is this human doing in her” Jabba shouted to his guards and they mumbled something in there own language, “sooo... they caught you sneaking around in my palace did they? What was you looking for?”

The man looked back at Jabba and stuttered “ I... I was just looking to p... post a bounty” the man said while he staggered to his feet again “I'm sorry I..I don't need to post one a..ny more I will just leave.” the man turned to leave, as Jabba laughed at him, I don't think he is going to let him go.

“Why don't you stay a few nights we have great cells, and we can beat the truth out off you,”
bounty hunters grabbed the man and dragged him away he was kicking and screaming, but the two bounty hunters just smirked and kicked the man in the stomach, and after a few kicks he shut up. All you could hear was the mumbles of the bounty hunters as they took him to the holding cells.

“do you know him?” I asked Lara who just fell on too her chair and stared at her glass “you know your supposed to drink it with your mouth not you eyes”

“i know that you idiot” she snapped

“sorry just trying to lighten the mood, you seem depressed and scared, ever more scared than that man, so did you know him?” I asked

“I'm sorry, and yes I do know him he is my brother, went were seperated when we were young but I have been meeting up with him lately.” she took her first sip and poured the rest of the drink on the floor “I don't feel like drinking”

“was he really here to post a bounty on somebody or for something else?” I started to drink my drink and she didn't say any thing “do you know what he was really here for?”i put my drink down and she still said nothing.

After a few silent minuets she looked up to me and replied with “he wasn't here to post a bounty he heard about the money Jabba had and how he would spend thousands just to have one man killed for simply missing one small payment, and well to cut a long story short he lost his money betting ands Stowed away on a ship to escape his bounty and to earn money here. So he deicide to sneak into Jabba palace in an attempt to steal some money.” she sighed deeply and shook her head “I told him not to, and I thought I had him convinced not to I promised to help him earn back some money to pay off his bounty, and when he asked I what I did for a job I didn't tell him for his own safety but I guess that was what came to be quiet a shock to him when he seen me” she sighed again and got up off her chair and turned for the door.

“he's insane, and where are you going?” I grabbed her arm and she turned to look at me, for a few seconds I thought she was going to just stare at me but she tugged her arm away and said “I am tired to nights events have unnerved me if they find out I knew him they might think I was in on his act.” she started to walk through the door when I caught up to her “don't do any thing stupid, he is in there for a reason don't endanger your life for his, he got him self into this and he can get him self out of it.”

she laughed at my comment “you know me too well, but don't worry I won't, I don't really want a bounty on my head they don't tend to bring the best of company knocking do they.”” and with that she ran out of the doors and to her home. I turned around to check on any new bounty's and ended up disappointed as usual I left the palace to end my night. The Jawa's were out as usual searching for broken ship, lost droids and speeders left by there owners, they scurried at the sight of me, but only to hide meters away so they could quickly continue there search. I hoped on my rusty old speeder and shot into mos-eisly. There wasn't much for me to check, so I hit the bed pretty fast. I woke in the morning to a constant bleep, I hit my alarm clock, but it never stopped it took me a while but I noticed it was my phone, I jumped up and hit answer. “This better be import-” I began but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“it is, am leaving, in fact I have already left tatooine and I cannot tell you where I am going as I am not sure my self I left because I felt I needed to check out other systems before I die.” they seemed scared and worried but I think I new who it was. “am sorry for leaving after telling you not to, I just need a new life name somewhere else. Good luck in your future and I hope new bounty's come your way.” Lara it was lara.

“you haven't done what I think you have done, because that's just stupid.” I said as I heard her begin to cry.

“no, no I haven't I was just threatened buy some one, good bye” she shut off the conversation and had used a hidden line. I sighed and slide some clothes on I grabbed a note on the side that was from the guy who I rent the property off, I just said I owe him for this weeks rent payment, that didn't matter cause I was going to leave today. I didn't have many belongings so it didn't take long to pack up and the little credits I had would only just pay for fuel. Heading out I found the savings of my flat mates credits and grabbed enough for a meal, I hope he won't mind. I jumped on my speeder bike and hit the the emptiness of the desert. I began to think about how I was going to cope on my own and where I was going to, I was thinking of hitting narr shadarr as I heard there are plenty of credits to be had if you new what you were doing and I new what I wanted to do. I also wondered if I ever going to see Lara again. I sent a silent good bye and good luck to her which was cut short by a bantha as I almost crashed in to it, and a small group of sand people began shoot at me instead of ignoring them I stopped jumped off my speeder and shot them it was a short battle which was ended by a beheading of one of the sand people, I sat on the sand for a while wondering what got me so angry. I got back on my speeder and headed to Jabba's palace.

When I got there I was stopped by a group of bounty hunters who started to ask me questions “do you know what happened to our prisoner, he has gone missing he suspects it was sometime last night.” the bounty hunter shook his head “if somebody had helped him escape they would have surly left this planet by now.”

“well am leaving today do you think that it me lead to a problem.”

“no because you coming in to tell him, don't worry we will put word in for you” he put his thumb up to me and pointed to the palace.

I entered the palace a little bit worried. I head striaght over to Jabba and bowed to him, “ mighty Jabba I will be leaving for narr shadarr today, I have spent many years with you and your guidance will be well remembered. I think I need new bounties and a new area to explore.” I looked up to see him laughing.

“you will be missed and I hope you will come to see me another time. But if you know any thing about the prisoner please tell me.”

“I know as much as you do, I am sorry I can be of no help but I must leave now as I need to find a ship to my liking.” with that I turned away and headed for the spade port. When I got there I saw that there were many ships to pick from, although they were all priced well beyond my price range I wasn't here to buy. I found a small ship that could carry 5 people and my speeder would fit on board. I headed over and spoke to the man who was looking at buying it. He had the right amount of money and was about to buy, so I had to act fast. Thinking quickly I head for the security room and sliced the door 2 guards were quick on my tail and I had to lock the door fast. After racing through the door I sealed the door shut and began on the hacking. It took me five minuets and I was in, quickly I unlocked the hanger doors and sliced through the defences. There were too turrets






This isn't completed yet but i would like to know how people feel about the story and wiether i could inprove on it=]

bally3000 has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it

Last edited by bally3000; 08-25-2008 at 04:50 PM.
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Old 08-25-2008, 04:30 PM   #2
Burnseyy
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I like this.

It's a nice start to a possibly great story.

Just a few spelling/grammar mistakes, but everyone's heard that story.

Great work!

Also, the first chapter went a bit quick... maybe if you put more description in, it'd be slower. But not too slow.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."




Last edited by Burnseyy; 08-25-2008 at 04:48 PM.
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Old 08-25-2008, 05:06 PM   #3
HIGH ON PIE 14
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Same as Burnseyy.

I think you have a good idea. There are a few grammar mistakes, such as using "two" instead of "to" or not using capitals in names or the begining of sentences. I am not the grammar police, in fact I am not even that good at grammar, as Burseyy will tell you. Some people on the forums will refuse to read if they see improper grammar. To me, thhe idea and description are much more important.

I would recommend sending this to someone who can go through and fix grammar for you. You have good ideas and gave Jabba's Palace to the cold feel that it desrves. It has potential, so I would suggest that you keep writing. Other than the grammar, its a great start.

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!

Last edited by HIGH ON PIE 14; 08-25-2008 at 05:36 PM.
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Old 08-25-2008, 05:11 PM   #4
Burnseyy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HIGH ON PIE 14 View Post

I would recommend sending this to someone who can go through and fix grammar for you.

Ahem.



"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-25-2008, 05:14 PM   #5
Darth_Yuthura
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I won't say it has potential... that's what everyone says!

It's a new approach and it is a more novel idea to have something original, but have ties to old characters. Like the idea and will keep reading.

Same comments on grammar.
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Old 08-25-2008, 06:54 PM   #6
Rev7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnseyy View Post
I like this.

It's a nice start to a possibly great story.

Just a few spelling/grammar mistakes, but everyone's heard that story.

Great work!

Also, the first chapter went a bit quick... maybe if you put more description in, it'd be slower. But not too slow.
QFT


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Old 08-26-2008, 03:47 AM   #7
bally3000
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thanks for the great comments and i will contuine my story, i will try to add more description to the beginin an jabba's palace, i didn't in the first place because the last story i written dragged on to much. and i will fix the errors =]


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 08-26-2008, 08:56 PM   #8
bally3000
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There were two turrets stationed inside the hanger one aimed at the entry and the other one was aimed at the ships loading ramp so there was no way I was going to get on board. I stepped back from the control panel and checked on the door I could hear a hissing sound coming from out side the door, it sounded like a light sabre but there were no jedi on this plant the bounty hunters would have taken them out by now. I was unfortunately I was right a yellow blade slowly appeared through the bottom right of the door and slowly slicing through the joints holding the door to the wall. I had to act fast, I hit the turret to target all organics, destroyed the control panel and through a thermal grenade at the door, hiding behind a turned over desk I heard the jedi burst in and a scream of pain as the grenade blow off his left arm, the 2 guards from before stormed in and began firing at me.

There lazers shot past my head, this table wouldn't hold for any longer, I stood up and threw my self to the left taking a shot at the guards I mange to hit one of them and he hit the floor hard but he wasn't dead I checked on the jedi who was half on his feet, the guard on the floor shot at me although he had bad aim one of his lasers hit my ankle falling to my knee I shot him in the head ending his life. The small cabinet I am hiding behind seems to be holding well, but I cannot stay here long as they will call reinforcements, the jedi was back on his feet and he darted towards me slicing the cabinet in half almost slicing clean through my head I grabbed his hand and punched him in the stomach before he could swing around for another attack, he grided his teeth in pain and kicked me into the wall the guard behind him took another shot at me missing my arm I grabbed my pistol from my belt and shot him in the chest before I could check on him the jedi launched another attack thrusting his sabre at my face, acting quickly I rolled to the right and kicked at his legs with my foot in attempt to trip him but he acted faster than me and jumped. He swung his blade again knocking my pistol out of my hands, I checked my surrounds quickly and grabbed the leg out of small pile broken droid parts and trusted it into his chest knocking him off balance and forcing him to drop his sabre in an attempt to stop himself from hitting the floor. I rolled out of the corner grabbed his sabre and stumbled onto my feet, the one armed jedi looked exhaust but still he stood to his feet and used the force to grab the blade out of my hand but I hand a tight grip on it, giving up he darted towards me with his fist raised, looking at the blade I noticed a switch and pressed it in, luck was on my side and the blade shot out and struck the jedi in the chest, as looked up to his face I saw complete shock as he looked down to his blade and up to me, I just smirked as he slid off the blade. Grabbing my equipment and putting it back into the right compartments I grabbed the jedi and through him over my shoulders, I would get a lot of money for killing him.

I checked the cameras too see the first turret had been taken care of but had killed 3 security guards in the process and the other turret was being dealt with noticing the camera of the corridor I quickly smashed a window through down a few mines and made a run for I heard a few soldiers shout down the corridor “there he is general says he wants him alive bu-” he was cut short by an explosion. I smirked, I am a smart one mines he I should be commander, laser shot past me as I turned a corner this corridor seemed to be safe so I quickly loaded my pistol and made a run for the hanger. They must have taken out the turrets as they were carrying out the wounded, I didn't really want to make too much noise but I guess that plans gone down the drain, I am going to blow a hole in the side of the hanger and get out that way, I quickly jumped to the right just before a security guard spotted me. Laying the jedi on the floor I pulled out my last thermal charge and placed it on the wall, picking the jedi up again I hid behind a broken speeder and detonated my charge, with a loud bang the wall flew apart to reveal a Mankvim-814 light interceptor, no time to stare at it, I had to get inside checking that I wasn't clamped down I headed straight for the loading bay and ran up the ramp. Dropping the jedi inside, closing the loading ramp I hurried over to the controls I hit the engine and heard a mighty roar as the engines fired up, I smiled to myself, I picked a good ship, and quickly took off and it couldn't have been better timing as 4 security officers burst through the doors and began to fire upon me. As I flew out of the hanger I headed for jabba's palace there were a few things I needed to do.

I landed just out side jabba's palace and a few bounty hunters headed for my ship, I opened the loading ramp and walk out to greet my fellow bounty hunters, “I thought you were leaving for narr shadarr, or have you decided to stay with us, oh and nice ship,” the first bounty hunter said.

“thanks it was fun one to get as well, and I have something to post, lets say a bounty,” I smiled at the thought “I have a dead jedi, I think it was a padawan though as he didn't match up to what the bounty hunters say jedi's are capable of. And I needed to pick up my speeder.”

“whoa a jedi I thought they were all hunted down long ago and only a few are left, I guess there trying to grow in number again,” the other bounty hunter said.

“I think your speeders round back Luke, I will tell Jabba you wish an audience with him.” the first bounty hunter said as he turned and ran back into the palace.

“So how did you get your ship, did you gamble for it in a game of pazzack, win it in a race come on cough it up,” the bounty hunter said while I closed the loading ramp.

“ I stole it, it wasn't easy you will here it on the news soon don't worry”I headed to the palace and the bounty hunter followed me “so any luck with a bounty?”

“yes Jabba just issued me one said that a Beth quit his band to work for the cantina bar and he wants him dealt with,”

“good luck with it not that you will need it.”

When I made it to Jabba he was ready and waiting for me, a lay the Jedi down in front of him and smirked. A smile grew across his face and he laughed in his deep voice as he always did “A jedi I am most please, Luke is It? But he is only a padawan, see his braid, but still you managed to out wit a jedi, I will give 10,000 credits for the Jedi” Jabba looked back at me and awaited my reply.

I wasn't about to let this go for that much “ 25,000 he's a jedi he's worth more than that”

“12,000 he was only a padawan”

“23,000 he almost had me if I weren't quick I wouldn't have been able to bring you this corpse”

“17,000 credits no more, if you don't accept you will have to take him else where”

“fine 17,000 it is, at least I can customise my ship with it, hey Jabba do you know any one that will fix me up with a few spare parts?”

“yes I will have some one come now, and before you go will you snuggle me some equipment into narr shadarr I have some friends who are low on supplies, well black market supplies.”

“if it pays am all for it”

“5,000 credits now 5,000 when they are safely to narr shadarr.”

“Done I will have them there as soon as I fix up my ship.” with that I turned my back on Jabba for the last time met up with a trandosian with the parts for my ship.

“what colours are you looking at with your ship?” the ship the man asked.

“green and black, would you be able to change the I.D signature of my ship as well please?” I asked the trandosian nodded his head and got to work he had several droids working with him.

2 hours later the trandosian came over to me “ your ship is prepared and that will be 5,000 credits.” he held out his hand and waited for his credits, shaking my head I handed over the credits and climbed aboard my ship, while I wondered around getting acquainted with my ship I heard a quiet beeping noise coming from a looked door. Listening closer it sounded like a droid so I sliced open the door to reveal a small R2 unit, I knelt down beside it and read the label attached to it the label read “R2-B4” that must have been the droids number. The droid seems inactive. I opened the panel on the back and flicked a few switches and it came to life, first of all it beeped a few times and rolled out of the small room it was locked in. the droid turned its attention to me, it was a small droid with a white chassis and the detail was black patting the droid I raised from the ground and entered the cock pit the droid had followed me through the ship, he must think I am his master, turning to the droid I asked him to turn on the engines. He beeped and rolled over to the terminal where he switched the engine on, “go make repairs to the ship and make sure we will encounter no problems while in flight,” surely enough the droid rolled off out the cockpit. Smiling I took off and finally flew out of the dust filled planet and off on a adventure to narr shadarr to smuggle in some supplies and to find new bounties.



heres another part to my story its not all the final piece but i am a bit worried about certain parts, like did i spend to much time on one part or too little.


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 08-27-2008, 09:35 AM   #9
Darth_Yuthura
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I think that the conversations were a bit too direct. Try to extend the dialog and brush the subject so you need to say more to communicate the idea... just my advice.

The 5000 credits... it's a bit too unlike a mechanic to be that exact. I think you could have the guy try to beat him up for more. 'I had to replace some parts that you'll need to pay for.'

I would also extend the conversation at the ramp of the ship. There can be just as much story with words as action. Unless the bounty hunters aren't interested in talking.

Great story and interesting plot.
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Old 08-27-2008, 10:13 AM   #10
Burnseyy
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Nice addition to the story, here, Bally!

Though I agree with DY: it seemed a little too direct and too in favour of Luke, despite his lowering of credits. Bounty hunter's don't tend to... associate with other bounty hunters - or maybe you know that and it's just this exception.



Either way, keep up the good work.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-27-2008, 11:18 AM   #11
bally3000
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Originally Posted by Burnseyy View Post
Nice addition to the story, here, Bally!

Though I agree with DY: it seemed a little too direct and too in favour of Luke, despite his lowering of credits. Bounty hunter's don't tend to... associate with other bounty hunters - or maybe you know that and it's just this exception.



Either way, keep up the good work.
i have edited and decided to make bounty hunters old friends in a way as they have a small past together nothing big like Lara and Lukes.

and what do you mean by to much in favour of luke? you mean in the fight?


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 08-27-2008, 02:53 PM   #12
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Pretty nifty story. I'll look forward to more.

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Old 09-04-2008, 09:18 PM   #13
machievelli
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'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 09-25-2008, 05:02 AM   #14
bally3000
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Location: salford, manchester
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Current Game: Mass Effect trilogy (again :3)
sorry its taking so long for another part of the story its just collage keeps making me tired when i get in and i have assimens to do lol but its making slow progress =]


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 10-11-2008, 03:05 PM   #15
bally3000
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Current Game: Mass Effect trilogy (again :3)
It felt good to be in space like I was free of all problems, although it was a vast black emptiness it felt so alive. I spent a few hours getting used to the controls, as I haven't flew many times, I knew the basics just didn't really know much about space combat so I was just firing off a few lasers and test some manoeuvres after I was done I hit the location I wanted to jump to on the galaxy map and prepared for hyper space, I had to drop off a package for Jabba the hutt, well several but they were all to the same person. I took one more look at the emptiness of space and then back at tatooine, and then hit the hyper space. As the stars around me turned in to lines and the space around me vanished I got off my seat and wondered around the ship, R2-B4 rolled around the corner and bumped in to me he startled me as I had forgotten about him, he beeped a few time and then rolled past me. Walking past the packages a got a certain feel of danger about them, I wanted to open them check what was in side of them cause they look to big for spices. Sighing from the long day I sit down on a nearby chair and pour my self some water. Looking in to the water I see my reflection staring back at me, my black hair which just about grew to the bottom of my ear was dirty and full of sand and my blue eyes had dark heavy bags from lack of sleep looming under them, I didn't have many freckles and a small mustache which I needed to shave off. After finishing my drink I wondered in to the ships small hanger to check on my rusty old speeder. Looking at it I didn't know why I brought it surely I could get another one from narr shadarr, but it worked like any new one it was fast and agile. I grabbing a cloth I thoughts I might as well clean it whilst in hyperspace, rubbing on part of it I discovered a loose wire, so I grabbed my repair kit and used some wire with players and it was fixed in less than a minuet but it wouldn't stay together for to long so I cut a short a green piece of rubber and wrapped it around the wire and glued I together so it wouldn't come apart. “B4 come and help me do some repairs to this speeder” I ordered my droid who obediently rolled over while beeping. About an hour later the speeder began to look cleaner but I was stopped by a sudden bleeping that seemed to be coming from the cockpit, as I walked up to the cockpit I noticed that it was flashing red so I hurried over to see what had happened. On a screen it said 'shutting down hyperdrive, something is obstructing the hyperspeed path.' sitting down at the controls I switched it to manual and flicked off the hyperdrive, the ship slowly game to a stop right in the middle of space fight turning the ship right I narrowly voided crashing straight into a rebel battle ship. “B4 get over here” I shouted while flicking a few switches, I grabbed my head set and plugged it into the communication panel. B4 rolled into the cockpit “B4 turn the shields on, we just might need them” I ordered B4 who just got straight to work, as a flew close to the rebels ship thinking it would probably be the safest place I noticed who they were fighting. They were locked in combat with the empire. The communication control panel began to blink green, flicking the switch a voice in my headset began to speak to me, “this is admiral Cark of the republic, what is your reason for bieng here?” he asked.

“I was on my way towards Narr Shadarr when I was stopped by your space battle.” I replied biting my bottom lip hoping they wouldn't board me.

“what is your cargo?”

“myself and my droid, and no other cargo on board.” I lied, knowing there was a chance of being bored not matter what I said, and the fact that there was a space battle going on they may get suspicious and board me in case of imperial supplies or troops on board.

“one moment let me check our scanning reports” Admiral Cark said, there was some static on the mic but I suggested that he had just click the mic of while he checked his readings. “ hold still sir we will be boarding you promptly”

“ dam it” I shouted while slamming a fisted hand on the comm channel, yanking the head set off my head. “B4 set the engines to full power, good I wish I had turrets on the back.” Grabbing the control sticks I set my ship in a direct nose dive heading for the planet, the comm panel flashed green again but I just ignored it and focus on flying. It wasn't log for the rebels notice something was wrong as 3 x wings broke off and headed in my direction, the comm blinked green again and guessed that was the last time as the X-wings opened fire on me, with perfect accuracy “lets hope shields hold up” I said while trying several doges to the right and left trying to keep up speed, “hows the shields holding up B4” the droid whirled “dam will they survive till we get to the planet?” I asked B4 who just whirled some more. “dam well lets just hope they lose interest with us, but I don't see that happening.” A few more red beams flew past the cockpit, the planet was getting closer and I had my fingers crossed that the ship would survive, but as I thought about that the whole ship shook a few times and one of the engines blew up and sent me spiralling out of control


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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