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Old 08-26-2008, 05:58 AM   #1
DeadYorick
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Star Wars: Death Incarnate

While writing Urban Death I got a case of when you lose your work because you forget to save it. Then I got an epiphany that I was 30 chapters in and I had more then enough material to use. So I decided to spill off all the other good ideas I had in Urban Death into another fic called Death Incarnate.

This is a different, yet similar approach that I took with Urban Death. More focusing itself on humor and less linearity

Star Wars

Death Incarnate


Much of the galaxy's turmoil caused by the Galactic Empire has disappeared. It has been a good peaceful galaxy after the clone wars.

Darker seeds of evil exist within the galaxy. Ones not of the force for a change but of something much more sinister. The galaxy no longer relies upon the JEDI KNIGHTS to save it. As DARTH VADER has shown fear throughout the hearts of the stars.

But now we shall see a tale. One of a more heroic, yet sinister take upon the Galactic Empire...



Prologue

4 ABY

A small Z-95 headhunter flew through space at breakneck speed. Pulling out of hyperspace as quickly as possible. Dark blaster fire was presant all over the starship as it pulled towards a nearby planet.

The Headhunter slowly landed on a nearby landing pad. The ship iself seemed to break down as finally the pilot got out. The pilot himself could barely be seen in the dark moonlight. The pilot quickly walked away from the ship and onto the streets of the city. He caught the sights of a nearby Cantina and rushed in.

The pilot looked around until he found a nearby table. There was a massive amount of people still in the Cantina, even though it was early morning. They were still celebrating the fall of the empire at Endor.

The pilot waited several minutes until he caught the sight of a suited man across the Cantina. He quickly rushed over and sat across from the pilot's table. A large datapad was in his hand.

"Sorry it took so long. I ran into some trouble back there. I went to great lengths so that I couldn't get detected." The pilot said in a gruff voice behind a long shadow.

"Ah. Well then I don't usually assosiate myself with people like you. But from what I heard on the comlink it is pretty juicy." The suited man said nervously.

"Oh it is. Listen I have a story for you that I need published as soon as possible. It has to do with the Empire." The suited man laughed in his seat.

"The Empire? Please no one wants to read stories about the Empire. It's old news now because of the battle of Endor. Now everyone wants to hear about how the New Republic is going to be formed." The suited man attempted to stand up from the table but was grabbed hold of by the pilot.

"I'll pay hansomly. I just need this story put out." He said throwing several credits onto the table. The suited man shrugged and sat down once more.

"Alright fine. How does it start?" The pilot slowly sighed and quickly reposiitoned himself.

"My name is Nordon." The suited man said as he typed into the datapad. "What's yours?" He asked the pilot.

"My name isn't important right now. I can tell you my codename and what is going to really make you stay here." He responded to the suited man.

"My codename was Necro..." he said slowly.

"Wait. Your THE Necro. The one who did that whole thing on..." The pilot quicky slamed his hand on the table.

"Now that I have you attention. Will you publish my story?" Necro asked him. The pilot heavily nodded as he began typing on his datapad.

"Alright let me begin. It all started around 7 years ago..."

DeadYorick has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

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-Kyle Katarn
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Old 08-26-2008, 07:13 AM   #2
The_Catto
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God damn you!
I want to read more!!!!
Post ... more! Now!





................... Please?

[nicely written prologue you've got here. It's peaked my interest (As you can see) ... Nice work!]

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Old 08-26-2008, 09:38 PM   #3
HIGH ON PIE 14
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BFA never was the patient one

Very nice. I always enjoy mysterious prologues. God, you are just full of ideas, aren't you RakataDark? I have greatly enjoyed Urban Death, so I'm really looking forward to this one!

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 08-26-2008, 09:43 PM   #4
Burnseyy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HIGH ON PIE 14 View Post
BFA never was the patient one
Agreed, 100%.


As for the story, nice start here (yes the dreaded word "nice"). Though, you use a lot of 'simple sentences'... if you get me. There were no commas, really, and hardly and 'ands', if any. Try not to just use fullstops every two seconds.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-27-2008, 03:03 AM   #5
The_Catto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HIGH ON PIE 14 View Post
BFA never was the patient one
~HOP


Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnseyy View Post
Agreed, 100%.
QFE!!!!

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Old 09-04-2008, 10:17 PM   #6
machievelli
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'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
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