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Old 09-04-2008, 09:00 PM   #1
EXzSoldier
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Ace's High

Star Wars Ace's High
The Imperial Navy begins to recruit many pilots
the Star Destroyer Executor begins there tour of duty with 70 new pilots forming the Eclipse sqadron as more and more pilots sign up for traning the Eclipse sqadron takes them in. Cristian Adler a Zabrak pilot at the rank of Cadet takes off from the Executor to the battle of Yavin IV.



Star Destroyer Excutor

"All Imperial pilots the Rebels have begun an assualt on the Death Star. all Imperial Pilots get ready for take off" Cristian Adler enters his TIE Inteceptor.

"Cadet Adler getting ready for take off location Death Star trench to flank the rebel Y-bombers." Cristian reported in to the Executors Flight Operatior.

"Roger Cadet Adler you are ready for take off." Said the Flight Operator.

Cristian hit a switch and the TIE Inteceptor took off flying towards the death star which was about 1000 meters away. Lieutenant Colzat flew beside him, Colzat was the Flight leader for Eclipse Support team.

"Cadet Adler, follow my lead since thi is your 1st mission i would like it if you stayed at the back, me and Flight Officer Valkan can take those Y-Bombers!" Colzat said into his communcation link.

"Roger Lieutenant Colzat." Cristian lowered his speed until he was behind Flight Officer Valkan.

"Rebel X-wings coming in fast!" Valkan said His TIE Fighter was hit by an X-wings blaster. "No!" Valkan shouted just before his Fighter blew up.

"Cadet Adler fly wingman and cover me while i take out that Y-Bomber ." Colzat said.

Cristian pulled up his throttle and made a flip. He shot an X-Wing and quickly adjusted to take out the other.

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Last edited by EXzSoldier; 12-21-2008 at 11:24 PM.
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Old 09-07-2008, 09:20 PM   #2
HIGH ON PIE 14
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I like the idea for your fic. I love my Zabraks!

The only problem with your fic is grammar. Normally I'm not the grammar police around here (as my own grammar is mediocre at best) but there are a few mistakes. For example:

Officer Valkan can take those Y-bombers.

No biggie, all you need is a beta reader to correct grammar for you. I will do it if you like, though as I say, I'm not the best.

However, you obviously have creativity and I can tell you are good at battle scenes. Please just bear in mind that I intend all of my criticism to be constructive.

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 09-07-2008, 11:24 PM   #3
Rev7
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Good start.

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