I like the idea for your fic.
I love my Zabraks!
The only problem with your fic is grammar. Normally I'm not the grammar police around here (as my own grammar is mediocre at best) but there are a few mistakes. For example:
Officer Valkan can
take those Y-bombers.
No biggie, all you need is a beta reader to correct grammar for you.
I will do it if you like, though as I say, I'm not the best.
However, you obviously have creativity and I can tell you are good at battle scenes. Please just bear in mind that I intend all of my criticism to be constructive.