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Old 09-05-2008, 01:57 PM   #1
Hawkstrong16
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Short Fic. Hidden

This is my first fic ever!! So be nice.
It takes place after K1 sometime. Enjoy!

Also to be posted on hawk.kotorfanmedia.com


Hidden(Short fic)
A post Kotor I fan fic


Carth Onasi, Canderous Ordo, and Revan sat in the port dormitories of the Ebon Hawk with the door locked. A mini refrigerator full of Mike’s hard lemonade.


“Think that door will hold them?” Carth asked nervously checking the lock

“Nothing can hold them, Republic.” Canderous said, holding his heavy repeater close.

“Let’s just face it” Revan said. “We’re screwed. Nothing can hold back Bastila and Juhani when they’re pissed…And let’s face it, they are PISSED at us.

“If only Jolee hadn’t gone back to Kashyyyk” Carth said. “He could have helped us get out of this.

“Try contacting HK on the comm again” Canderous suggested.

“No use they shut him down.” Revan said

“I’m gonna make a brake for the cockpit.” Carth said as he stood and went for the door.
Before either Canderous or Revan could stop him Carth opened the door and ran, locking it again behind him Revan sighed.

“He’s a goner.” Revan muttered.

“Yeah.”

A few minutes of silence past before they heard Carth’s screams.

“What do you think they’re doing to him?” Canderous asked

“I really don’t know….” Revan said


**Three hours later**
“I’m hungry” Revan muttered

“And we’re almost out of Mikes hard lemonade” Canderous pointed out.

“I think we should try to rush to the cockpit, if we do it together I think we can make it. Let-

Revan was cut off midway though his sentence by an explosion on the outside of the door.

“Revan they found the explosives” Canderous said lifting his blaster preparing for them to come it.

“That door can only hold a few more blasts before it caves, after that we’re exposed.” Revan said. “Here’s what we’ll do, when the door gives way we’ll rush out and run for the cockpit.”

“Lets do it.” Canderous said setting his blaster for stun. Revan also pulling a blaster and setting for stun.

“Let’s try not to hurt them.” Revan said.


Another explosion rocked the ship and the door buckled slightly, but still held.


With one last blast the door gave way and Revan and Canderous ran towards the cockpit as fast as they could, firing all the way. When they got to the cockpit and tried to close the door it wouldn’t move.

“Revan the door wont close!” Canderous shouted

“Cover me while I set course and get us out of here” Revan said.

Revan had just got the course set when Canderous shouted at him.
“Here they come, Revan!”

“DAMN!” He yelled as a vary red painted Bastila came running though the door followed by a purple Juhani. Revan and Canderous backed up as far as they could as Bastila and Juhani advanced slowly on them.

“Uh Hey girls.” Revan said

Those were the last words spoken before both Revan and Canderous were knocked out by the girls.



**One hour later**



Revan Canderous and Carth awoke lying in just boxers tied together on the floor in the main hold of the Ebon Hawk…. Carth was painted red, Canderous purple…And Revan Hott pink.

“SON OF A BITCH!” The three of them yell in unison


Bastila and Juhani just sat there, sipping Mike’s hard lemonade and taking pictures of them to post on the holo-net

Hawkstrong16 has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

Camo-Man 07 Now Known As Hawkstrong16

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May The Force Be With You, Always

Last edited by Hawkstrong16; 09-05-2008 at 03:59 PM.
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Old 09-11-2008, 08:31 AM   #2
The_Catto
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Weird. Not exactly what I had expected.

One tip: Refrain from using the expletives. Swearing doesn't go well around here as it is a PG-13 site and swearing, just seems, unnecessary. I had a bottle opener of Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Oh, and giving an idea as to why all the colours would help as well

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Old 09-13-2008, 10:04 AM   #3
Hawkstrong16
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Thanks for the tips Mr_BFA!

As to the colors, the guys had gotten drunk one night and painted the girls red and purple. as you can read in the story the girls wanted revenge.


Camo-Man 07 Now Known As Hawkstrong16

90% of teens today would die if myspace or facebook had a system failure. If you are one of the 10% that would sit and laugh copy this to your signature.
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