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Old 10-08-2008, 10:58 AM   #1
Darth Kalverys
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Legacy of the Jedi



Prologue

One thousand and five hundred years before the Dark Emperor declared Order 66 on the Jedi Order, all is peaceful in the galaxy.

A young Jedi apprentice is meditating in a sacred grove, just outside the training complex of Dantooine…


Dusk was at hand, the young Jedi girl looked from her meditation spot in the grove to the setting sun, awed by the beauty and harmonious look. A young Jedi boy whom shared classes with her, came running to the old pillars between which she was kneeling. His normally pale skin was bathed in crimson, and he was huffing as if out of breath. The sun illuminated the girl into a very bright scarlet.

"Javen." The girl said, and nodded at the boy. The boy nodded back, but couldn't catch his breath to reply. "Do you need any help?" The boy raised his eyebrows and lifted his arm. The girl observed the cut on his arm, and began to heal his wounds with her Force abilities. "There, all better!" She said, smiling.

"Thank you, Semala." The boy said, smiling. "Unfortunately, I can not allow you to live." Semala looked startled, and began to ask a question, but Javen cut her off. "I just slaughtered my master, so all Jedi are game."

Semala arched her eyebrows, and drew her lightsaber. The vibrant silver gleam of her lightsaber blinded nearly every opponent she encountered, but had no effect on Javen, due to the fact that the two dueled a lot of times in their training. Her blonde hair fell down over her violet eyes, and her forest green robes were smudged with dirt from her meditation.

Javen drew both of his purple blades, and allowed himself to fall into a Makashi form. His brunette hair hung down to his eyebrows and nearly covered his striking blue eyes.

Semala stumbled backwards at seeing both of Javen's blades, he had only every fought with one, but then she grew confident that she could overcome her opponent, as he was sure to be clumsy with two blades, instead of one. She stepped forward and raised her blade and brought it swinging down to Javen's left arm, the blade barely missed as he danced to the side and parried it. Javen took his blades and held them into an X formation to be ready to block or parry Semala's next move. Semala had expected as much, and in return, she ignited the other end of her silver lightsaber. Javen looked genuinely shocked, but did not falter at blocking every move that Semala made. Sweat began to pour down both the faces of the Jedi, stinging their eyes, but neither faltered in their attack and block sequence. Javen eventually was able to destroy part of Semala's lightsaber, but not before she had knocked one of his blades from his hands with a simple Force Push. And so the battle took place as it normally did, only this time, there were much more fatal conditions.

Semala pushed Javen back and disarmed the boy, but he still had the Force on his side as well, and so in return, he disarmed her as well. Brought into a battle of wits, the two young Jedi circled each other. Casting lightning at Semala, Javen overpowered the girl.

SEQUENCE TERMINATED..." Said a mechanical voice.

Semala frowned, and Javen grinned. "How many times have I beaten you now, both Light and Dark?"

Semala growled and muttered, "Thirty-seven to zero."

Javen looked at the girl's eyes and said, "You know that I'd never do what I did back there to you, right? It's just one of us had to be dark, and one had to be light."

Semala nodded, turned her back to Javen, and walked to her room. Javen stood there looking after her, wondering what it was that he had said.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s just a little upset about what happened on Taris. I know that it’s not a big deal to you, or many others, but she’s upset that she had to kill a sentient being.” A bright, alto voice said from behind Javen. Javen nodded, thinking about what he could do to cheer her up. “You could always take her to the top of the Jedi Temple and have her look up at the stars. That normally calms her down and cheers her up.”

Javen grinned, and bowed. “Thank you, Grand Mistress Kanna.”

The tall, beautiful master smiled. Her bright white teeth, gleaming against her tanned skin. Her midnight colored hair hung down to her shoulders, and her bright green eyes seemed to be filled with joy and laughter. Her snow white robe hovered about three inches from the ground, revealing her small, petite feet. The gold hilt of her dark purple lightsaber hung from the belt around her waist, which seemed to complete the beauty of her. “Oh, Javen, Senator Starkiller wants to have a word with you.”

Javen jumped, in surprise. “The Mandalorian?!?! Why?”

“He would not tell me a single bit of information, so I’m not entirely sure. But perhaps it could be to your benefit.” The Grand Mistress said.

Darth Kalverys has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

Last edited by Darth Kalverys; 10-09-2008 at 02:11 PM.
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Old 10-09-2008, 04:21 AM   #2
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A chirpy enough start. I like the writing, it's very smooth and flows naturally. The storyline, form what I've seen didn't impress me as much, as I don't see anything that I haven't seen before, but it's not bad!

In that one scene, Semala ignites the other end of her lightsaber, which surprises Javen. Seeing as they have fought dozens upon dozens of times, shouldn't Javen know if Semala has a double-ended lightsaber?

Other than that, I like the simplicity of the fic, so I'll say it's a good read alright.


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Old 10-09-2008, 08:07 AM   #3
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*beams a bit* Thank you. I've tried and tried, and think that I've sucessfully come up with a bit of a twist that would be unexpected... you'll see soon enough.
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Old 10-09-2008, 11:53 AM   #4
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Kudos! That's a really good story. Please, write more.

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Old 10-09-2008, 12:26 PM   #5
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Thank you. Man, I'm glad my teacher made me read Dickens... it's seriously helped with my imagery. (Though, it hasn't done anything with my spelling! >.<) I'm working on the first chapter as I speak, I doubt that it'll be ready to be released for about three days. It's going to be long... though I may cut it a bit shorter than what I had intended to, because the chapter name could mean anything, so I may end it after this next scene, in which case, I'll release it as soon as I get it done.
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:15 PM   #6
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Do you have any other fic's?

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Old 10-09-2008, 01:23 PM   #7
Darth Kalverys
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I do, but they aren't as detailed as this. I've just recently been studying Dickens, so my imagery isn't as well in those. They were the plain Jane details, such as... "He cut off her head." and stuff like that. In my opinion, those types of stories are boring...
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:54 PM   #8
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I agree. Sadly, that is what both of my stories are like...

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Old 10-09-2008, 02:19 PM   #9
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Chapter 1- To Katarr

"Please, will you just listen to me?" Javen pleaded. "I didn't ask for this! While I may be..."

"Javen, just shut up. And no, I don't care if your new 'guard' will hurt me." Semala said, in a strained voice. "Mandalorians destroyed and ravaged my homeworld!"

"But I'm NOT a Mandalorian!" Javen continued. "My... father hired them to protect me, I don't want them here any more than you do! Is it my fault that I just found out that my father is sypathetic to the Mandalorians?"

"Yes, it is." Semala said, sarcastically. "If you had chosen your family righ-"

"That's not very fair." Grand Mistress Kanna said, interrupting the argument. "You and I both know that it is impossible for someone to choose their family. Oh, and Javen... your father sent you something else too." Kanna held up a small package.
Javen rolled his eyes, but took the package, and opened it. He sighed at the item inside and pulled it out, and let it dangle on two fingers. "Well, it certainly explains a lot." He said, frowning. "But it doesn't explain why he's so... keen to Mandalorians."
Semala jumped back, in surprise. "You... your a... a..." She couldn't finish the sentence, she just gazed at the solid gold crown that was dangling off Javen's fingers.
"I'm an Onderonian prince... yes." Javen said, rather indifferent. "Master Kanna, do you know why he's become so obsessed with me, as of late?"
"Unfortunately Javen, I do not... if you would like, you might be able to convince one of the seers of Katarr." Kanna replied. "However, they keep their seers hidden, so it might be a little difficult for you to find one." Javen sighed, but looked determined to find out why. Kanna took the crown from his fingers and placed it upon his head. "You would do wise to claim your title, create a slight bit of peace with the Jedi Order and your Homeworld. Ever since your ancestors have ruled, the Jedi Order has gotten quite... upset with Onderon. If a Jedi were to befriend the Onderonians, I believe that it would stop the Order from trying to sap the Force from all of their Sensitives." Javen sighed again, but nodded, understanding. "Would you like me to have a ship awaiting your trip to Katarr?"

"Yes, Grand Mistress, if you would. I don't want my 'guards' to be following me though, so if you would please not speak of this to anyone, unless you know that they wouldn't tell anyone else." Javen said.
Kanna nodded and said silently, "The ship will be ready for take off in an hour."


"TK-713, please transmit a message to Onderon." Javen said, when he had boarded the ship. The tiny droid beeped and went to the communcations center, Javen followed. The droid had the holo-link going in less than fifteen seconds. Javen stood in an erect position.
Soon, a hologram military general stood in front of Javen. He had long black hair, that had gray speckles in it. His eyes were a light gray-ish color, and he was very pale, as though he hadn't seen light in a couple of months. He had purple circles under his eyes, and his nose looked like it didn't quite fit his face. "Who are you and what do you want?" The general barked, in a harsh tone.
"I am Javen Light, of the Jedi Order. I wish to speak to the king of Onderon." Javen said, raising his chin a little higher.
"Under what authority? What have we done?" The man asked.
"You have done nothing to the Republic, I just wish to speak with the king." Javen replied.
"The king is busy, he has no time for those types of pleasantries." The man said, forcefully and disconnected the link.

Javen shrugged. "Don't worry about it any more TK. I'll deal with it later."

The tiny astromech droid beeped. Javen smiled, and walked towards the cockpit of the ship. He looked out over the scene, five Nemoidians were running to the engine room, three humans were steering the ship, and the captain of the ship came rushing up to meet Javen.

“Master Jedi, sir. I am Capitan Leah Wolffe.” The captain said, in a soprano voice. She wore Onderonian guard clothes, which surprised Javen, she had wavy blonde hair, that fell just past her shoulders. She had sharp, vibrant blue eyes, and was around medium height, her skin looked as though it were made from the finest of porcelain. And behind her petite appearance, was the attitude one would expect from an aristocratic family.

Javen smiled, warmly at her. “Hello, I am Javen Light. And you don’t have to call me Master Jedi, I’m hardly a Jedi yet anyway. Tell me, are you from Onderon?”

Leah smiled at him, and shook her head. “No, I’m from Taris. However, I chose to wear these… clothes for your sake.” Javen raised an eyebrow, but kept his mouth closed. “Grand Mistress Jeena Kanna told me that you were from Onderon. And so, I thought I’d make you feel a little more at home.”

Javen nodded, somewhat distracted and asked, “When do we jump to Katarr? Time is of the essence and I have limited resources at my demands, as of right now.” Javen sifted through his pack, glancing up occasionally at Leah.

“We will jump as soon as you are ready.” Leah said, somewhat flabbergasted at Javen’s bluntness. “However, I feel compelled to tell you that our hyper drive has malfunctioned as of right now, and our mechanics are rushing to fix that problem. So, you probably don’t want to be ready for another hour or so.” Javen nodded solemnly and stood up, shouldering his pack. “Would you like me to show you to your room?” Leah asked.

Javen nodded, while saying, “So what brought you to Dantooine to pilot for the Jedi? Surely you would much rather be at home with your family, I would if I could be in a situation that allowed it.” Leah’s eyes started to shine brightly, with tears. “You don’t have to answer that, if you don’t want to.” Javen said, much more softer.

Leah shook her head, and started walking forward. “I just don’t know you that well, maybe when and if I can get to trust you, then we’ll talk.” She blinked the tears out of her eyes, and opened a door for Javen. “This will be your room while you are aboard. It’s certainly not extravagant by any means, but it’s comfortable.”

Javen stepped through the large doorway, observing the irksome, lifeless room. The room was a dull color of gray, there were no embellishments anywhere in the room. The bed’s blanket was a blatant green color. Most of the light fixtures had gone out, and so the light source was merely candlelight. Javen shrugged, though it was a completely tasteless room, it had certain qualities of being tranquil and calmness that appealed to him.

Leah blushed, embarrassed and said, “I’m sorry we don’t have anything more… appealing than this room. This is the most extravagant room in the entire ship.”

Javen blinked, and turned to look at her. “It’s no problem, it’s quite calm and tranquil. Which is all I really care about anyway. I need peace while I meditate, and this room provides a certain air of…” He trailed off, looking out the window. The bright white stars twinkled and winked at him. He smiled to himself, and set down his pack.

Leah coughed, and muttered, “If there is anything that you need, just tell me, and I’ll make sure you get it right away.” She turned and left the room, as quietly as she could. The doors closed silently behind her.


Javen sat in the middle of the floor, and was going through his pack again, only this time, he found something that he hadn’t expected to… a holocron. He pulled it out, and accidentally activated it. A hologram of Freedon Nadd, the Sith Lord and his ancestor, leaped out at him. Javen dropped the holocron and jumped up, landing on his feet a few feet away from where he was previously sitting.

“Who is it that seeks my knowledge?” The holocron asked, with quite a bit static. “I can no longer see… state your name, or be-” The holocron cut off it’s sentence.

“My name is Javen Light, Jedi apprentice and heir to the Onderonian throne.” Javen said, confidently. “And you are nothing but a piece of scrap metal. Holocrons can do nothing, and his Force Ghost was destroyed years ago by his apprentice, Exar Kun. So don’t even try and threaten me.”

The hologram flashed twice. “I see.” It’s mechanical voice said, weakly. “What is it you wish to learn, child. I can teach you a lot.”

“I don’t wish to learn anything from you, O dark one.” Javen said, throwing a heavy metal ball from his belt at the off switch. The hologram remained standing for four or five seconds, then faltered and was dragged back into the abyss it had come from. “I’ve gotta remind myself to get rid of this thing.” Javen said, to himself.

Javen settled himself back down on the floor and reached out with the Force, concentrating on nothing, and yet at the same time, everything.


“Javen, we are approaching Katarr.” Leah said, entering the room.

Javen jerked his head up, and opened his eyes. “Good, about how long until we can land?” Javen asked, as he began to twiddle his thumbs.

“An hour at most, sir.” She replied, smiling a bit.

“Excellent!” Javen said. He jumped up, grabbed Leah’s arm, and pulled her to the cockpit. “This ought to be interesting. Having to find one of the last of a long forgotten race.” Javen smiled slightly. “The Miralukans are interesting creatures, and very reliable if you befriend one.”

Leah stiffened. “The Miraluka? I thought Darth Nilhus wiped them all out…”

Javen smiled, slightly. “No, he wiped out one colony, not the entire race. However, they have been dying out ever since then. Katarr was the largest colony, and contained almost seventy percent of the race. When they died, the others realized that they would die out, just like the Mandalorians.” Leah inclined her head in a sort of way to say, oh, silly me. “Katarr looks so… desolate, even after the Republic ‘repaired’ it.”

“Master Jedi, they have cleared us to land. We can land whenever it pleases you.” A man to the side of the cockpit said.

Javen nodded, “Alright, let’s land. I have things that need to be attended to as soon as possible."

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Old 10-09-2008, 06:16 PM   #10
Endorenna
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Holocron of Freedon Nadd? Okay, this is getting interesting!


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 10-09-2008, 06:27 PM   #11
Darth Kalverys
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Thank you. I did a lot of research, but I couldn't find a single source that suggested that he had a holocron, nor that he didn't have a holocron... so I made him have one.
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Old 10-10-2008, 02:26 AM   #12
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Not a bad start Rueban. I like it so far. Looking forward to more...

Oh, I also like your description. Especially in the prolouge. Good job Rueban!

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Old 10-10-2008, 11:35 PM   #13
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I have a new chapter written, however as of right now, I do not have internet access on my own computer... I am on my phone right now. When I do get the internet back though, I'll have to wait until my two new beta readers go over it before I post it. Speaking of beta readers, I'd like one more, so if your interested, pm me and whoever gets there first will be my 3rd and final one...
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Old 10-11-2008, 04:35 PM   #14
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Call me impatient... it just bugs me to have a chapter written without having it "published"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2- The Seer

The ship Javen was on, landed on the ground just outside the only city on the planet. He slowly and quietly slipped out of the ship, as if a ghost were passing through a wall. He made his way to the front of the city gates, and found a tall gatekeeper. The gatekeeper’s hair resembled the Sarlacc Pit on Tatooine, only it looked like four ships had lost all their oil as well. His eyes were a pale blue, like that of lightning, his face was covered in sweat.

“What do you…” The gatekeeper started, but then noticed the lightsaber hanging down off of Javen’s belt. “Oh, Master Jedi. Please forgive me, I assume you want entrance into the city?”

Javen nodded, slowly. “Tell me, where is the nearest cantina. Space travel always leaves me quite… famished.”

The gatekeeper bowed, and said, “The Cantina is just in the center of town, right by the big statue of the Miralukan woman, Visas Marr.”

Javen nodded, and stepped forward. The gatekeeper swung the gates inward and ushered Javen through. Javen looked around town a bit, asking any helpful being on the planet that could point him to a closer cantina. However, his attempts to find a closer one was in vain, it appeared that the only one was right in the center of town. Javen eventually wound up on a crowded street, and noticed the statue about fifty yards from his position. He sprinted forward, and turned towards the closest building, and rushed in.

Javen looked around inside, and the smell of the place nearly made him puke. It smelled somewhere between a Hutt and Bantha dung. It was a large open space, with a gigantic oval in the dead center of the bar. The barkeeper ought to be a little more help than the gatekeeper. Javen thought to himself. Javen pulled his hood up over the back of his skull and walked silently to the barkeep.

The barkeeper was polishing a dirty glass, but his efforts seemed wasted, as he was using a dirty rag to try and clean it. He glanced at Javen with his peripheral vision, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge the Jedi’s presence. Javen cleared his throat, and the barkeeper turned towards him.

“Yes, how can I help you?” A short stocky man said. He had golden eyes, with snow white hair, he wore a black apron over his ragged clothes.

“I’ve been told, by a certain reliable source, that there are a few Miralukans here on Katarr. So I assumed that the local barkeeper would know where to find one. It’d quite be worth your while if you helped.” Javen said, fingering his brown pouch filled with credits. I must be on my guard, he seems to know the dark side quite well. I wouldn’t be surprised if he were a dark Force user. Javen said, to himself.

“Perhaps, and perhaps not.” The barkeeper replied, apathetically. “Depends on how big your… pocketbook is. Information such as that doesn’t come cheap.” Javen untied the brown pouch and dumped the contents onto the counter. “Hmmm… nope, that isn’t satisfactory, sorry but n…” Javen interrupted him, by pulling out several handfuls of credits from his pockets. “Ehhh…”

“Well, take it or leave it. That’s enough to buy a small castle on any planet.” Javen said.

The barkeeper looked at the large pile, and then up at Javen, then back down at the pile of credits. “Alright, alright… come with me.” He began whispering lowly, so others wouldn’t over hear. “There’s a Miraluka that bought this place, he lives in the upper complex of the cantina, he offered it to me to run.”

Javen grinned from ear to ear, and followed the man to the back of the cantina to a concealed room full of alcoholic drinks. The man opened a side door just to the right of a small table with death sticks on it, and pushed Javen inside. Javen looked around the small enclosed space, and noticed a small spiral staircase going upwards. He slowly began to climb up the stairs, keeping his grip on the railing, refusing to look down. After a few minutes, Javen slipped on some water that had been spilled on level ground.

“Ahhh… Master Jedi.” A bodiless baritone voice said, quietly. “I’ve been expecting you, however due to the rarity of your mission, I can only question whether or not it’s the one that I was expecting. Please, set your lightsabers to stun, I will have me best men fight you. If you defeat them, then I will reveal myself to you.”

Javen nodded, and turned the lightsabers down a few notches. About twenty mercenaries came charging at Javen, but he was much quicker, and had already had his lightsabers drawn. The soft hum, and ‘heartbeat’ of the sabers shot Javen’s adrenaline sky high, already ready for battle, Javen jumped forward, closing the distance between the mercenaries and the Jedi Apprentice.

An aqualish mercenary drew his vibrosword and stepped forward to greet Javen in battle. Javen easily parried and blocked every move the mercenary threw at him, and began a set of his own slashes, flurries, and stabs. Javen easily disarmed the mercenary, and stunned him, turning his attention to the remaining nineteen. The battle that commenced shortly afterwards was not a long battle, quite the contrary, it seemed as though it had ended when it had begun.

“Very well, I will keep to my promise.” The voice said, again. A blind, eyeless teenager appeared out of thin air. He had short blond hair, with frosted spiked tips, he wore a set of brown and white robes, similar to a Jedi’s. The young man tied a long, clean white rag over his eye sockets, then turned to face Javen.

Javen’s jaw dropped. A teenager! How the bloody hell am I supposed to get the information I need from a teenager!?!? Javen thought. The teenager smiled slightly, but uttered not a single word. “Ummm… I’m Javen Light.” Javen said, still a bit shocked.

The Miralukan teen nodded, and replied, “I am Garzulan Lithan. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Master Jedi.”

“Likewise.” Javen said, vexed. “But please, just call me Javen. I’m not a Jedi Master yet.” Garzulan nodded. “To be quite blunt, I have some things that need to be answered, and I am sure that a Miraluka could answer them, what with your affinity with the Force.”

Garzulan smiled. “Suit yourself, Javen. I know why you’ve come, and what answers you seek, however it comes with a price. And before you ask, no, I don’t want credits. I already have enough to where I could buy the entire Outter Rim and declare myself king.” Javen raised an eyebrow. “No, what I want is much more subtle. More intriguing to me. I see very little of your future. Your’s is clouded by indecisions and things of that sort. So, I wish to travel with you, as a companion and friend.”

“Well, I’ll take you with me, however, you’ll have to work to be a friend of mine. I know very little about you, other than you own a cantina and you are one of the last of a dying race.” Javen said, a little more coldly than he meant to. He added, a bit more softer, “I have trust issues, it’s not really you, but at the same time, it is. You know what I mean?”

Garzulan nodded, and smiled. “I do, and I believe you to be wise to be on such a guarded path. Most would be quick to judge… over ninety percent would not be in favor of a traveling companion, especially a Miralukan. So I thank you for accepting me. We are not safe to talk here, however. May we talk on your ship, with no fear of eavesdropping?”

Javen nodded, “I assume so. Most of the crew are afraid to enter my room, or even come close to it. But how do we get you out of here, without attracting attention to you?”

Garzulan grinned, his thin lips spread wide, showing his blinding white teeth. “I would think that as a simple obstacle. I come out, being led by you, because I just had eye surgery.” Javen arched both his eyebrows. “Oh, don’t worry, if anyone asks, I’m your fraternal twin Jakob. And you came to the city alone, in search of your long lost twin brother.

Javen grinned, in spite of the situation. “Ah. That actually makes some sense. I presume that you are ready to go?” Garzulan nodded. “Then I suggest we leave immediately, lest we get delayed and hindered by the patrons when they realize who you are.”


The two made their way down to the ground floor of the cantina and slipped out the front door, into the bright sunlight. They reached the wall to the outside of the city, before getting into a bit of trouble.

“HALT!” A dark, menacing voice said, from somewhere behind Garzulan. “Who are you two, and what are you doing?”

Javen spun around, letting go of Garzulan’s arm. “I am Javen Light, and this is my twin brother, Jakob Light.” The young Jedi said, slowly. “We are on our way to Onderon, to meet up with our parents. Our parents got drunk in the cantina and left us here, so I went and found us a transport, while my brother went and got eye surgery done. The poor guy can’t see a thing, and needs me to lead him to our ship.”

“Something tells me not to believe you…” A dark headed man said. He was of medium adult height, had on black robes and a lightsaber hanging from his waist. His gleaming yellow eyes were blood shot.

Javen’s lightsabers were in his hands before he could even think. The man smiled darkly, and drew his blood red lightsaber. Javen jumped over to the other side of the man, to prevent himself or the dark Jedi from hurting Garzulan. The three lightsabers met, sending purple and red sparks soaring into the air. Javen was much quicker than the other man, and quickly destroyed the man’s lightsaber, but that didn’t stop the dark Jedi. He shot lightning at Javen, but Javen deflected it with his lightsabers. Javen turned off one of his lightsabers and hung it on his waist, constantly watching the dark one. He Force pushed the man onto the ground and stunned him.

Javen pulled a set of electromagnetic binders from his pack and put them around the man’s hands. “Maybe you could be of some use to the Jedi Council and Grand Mistress. I’m sure they’d like to know about dark Force users.” Javen said, knowing the man couldn’t hear a single word. Javen picked the man up, and threw him over his right shoulder, and wrapped his arm around Garzulan to continue to ‘lead’ him from the city to the ship.

When they reached the gate, the greasy-haired gatekeeper glanced at them, curious, but didn’t say anything to them. “It’s just around this wall, Jakob. It’s not too far, soon we’ll be back home.”

Garzulan smiled, but kept up the charade. Once they were from sight of the gatekeeper, and out of earshot, Garzulan spoke up. “If you want, I can walk on my own now.”

Javen laughed, hysterically. “But I can’t. This guy weighs a ton, and I don’t want to exert any more energy on myself. It would take all my strength to throw him off of me.” Garzulan laughed, and wrapped his arm around Javen, to keep him steady. “It’s just right around this next corner.” Javen said, breathing a little more heavily.

Garzulan nodded, and they turned the corner, and boarded the ship. The entered the cockpit, with all the mechanics, and Javen told two to take the Dark Jedi off his back. They nodded, but feared that touching the dark man would arouse him, and would result in their deaths. However, their fears proved false, as they took the man to the smallest room on board.

Leah approached Javen, but took a few steps back when she saw the Miraluka boy. “Who’s he? And why do we have more than just you to worry about now?” She asked.

Javen grinned, and looked from Leah to Garzulan. “He’s a friend of mine… the entire reason that I came to Katarr. However, we are both tired, and now we will retire to my room. Please don’t bother us, until we are close to Onderon.”

Leah nodded, slowly. “Alright, but remember if you need anything, just ask, and we’ll make sure you get it.”

Javen nodded, and led Garzulan to the back of the ship, to where his room was. The second they entered the room, Javen’s little astromech droid, TK-713, was by his side, beeping happily. “Hey TK.” Javen said, and sat in the floor. “So, Garzulan, are you ready to talk?”

The Miralukan teen nodded, and began to tell Javen a long prophecy about him…
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Old 10-12-2008, 11:54 AM   #15
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Chapter 3- The Dark Jedi

Javen sat still, thinking intently on what Garzulan had told him. Then a thought occurred to him, one that hadn’t before.

“Garzulan?” Javen asked, slightly anxious. The Miraluka turned his face towards Javen, and nodded. “Do you serve the Lightside or the Darkside of the Force? And do you have a lightsaber?”

“I serve both sides equally, from a Jedi’s view point. Though, from my own, I align myself with the Lightside. I can use both of their powers, for I see a Force power not being Light or Dark, I believe that if you use it for evil, then it is wrong.” Garzulan said, slowly but firmly. “And no, I do not have a lightsaber. However, I have been taught how to wield one, so my only problem would be that I would either have to build one, or take one from someone.”

Javen nodded, again diving down into the murky depths of his mind. His eyelids drifted down, until they were completely shut, his body was as relaxed as humanly possible. Suddenly, Javen jumped up, tensed and looking as battle ready as ever. “Come on, we have two things we need to get done before we touch down on Onderon. I fear that we may have already wasted too much time.”

Garzulan cocked his head to the side, but followed Javen out to the cockpit. Javen’s light footsteps were echoed by Garzulan’s own. Eventually, they entered the cockpit, and headed straight for the mechanics.

Javen walked slowly and deliberately, and when he spoke, it was in a precise and articulated way. “Tell me, where did you put that man earlier, I wish to speak with him. Also, do you have a workbench anywhere on board?” The first mechanic nodded, and pointed towards the back of the ship. “Okay, so that’s where your workbench is, but where is that man that I brought in earlier?” The same mechanic pointed again to the back of the ship, too afraid to speak, or unable to… Javen knew not which.

Javen sighed and turned around, followed quickly by Garzulan. “I’m going to have you build a lightsaber, since you said you know how to wield one. In the event of another situation that happened earlier, I could use another lightsaber duelist.” Garzulan nodded. “I have seven color crystals for you to choose from, if you’d like. All the parts of a lightsaber I have as well. The crystal colors are blue, green, yellow, violet, silver, gold, and red.” Garzulan again nodded, but kept his mouth closed waiting for Javen to continue. “So go ahead, and choose which color you’d like.”

“Perhaps the gold, it matters not to me, however. Not like it should, I can’t see the blade.” Garzulan said, with a bit of cold humor. “Yes, I do believe I will take the gold crystal though.”

Javen smiled slightly. “I had a feeling you’d choose that one, what with how rich you are.” Garzulan grinned, flashing his bright teeth. “We’re at the work… bench? It looks more like a card playing table! Oh well, no matter. Here are the parts and crystal you’ll need.” Javen said, handing him the cold metal, the core parts of the saber, and the golden crystal.

Garzulan thanked Javen, and began to work immediately. Soon enough, the lightsaber was completed, it’s hilt was quite elegant, the blade shone as bright as one of the Tatooine suns.

“Quite remarkable. You set the stone correctly, on your first try. Have you ever built a saber before?” Javen asked. Garzulan nodded, hung his new lightsaber on his belt, and pulled out the charcoal black remains of a previous lightsaber. “Hmmm… alright, well we need to attend to the Dark Jedi, are you ready Garzulan?”

“I am. However I sensed a question in you earlier, but didn’t ask about it because you were busy meditating, so may I ask you now?” Garzulan asked.

Javen nodded, and said, “Yes, you may.”

“Why were you so shocked at the fact that I’m sixteen? You yourself are no more than seventeen, and yet you are just as strong with the Force. Is there any reason why you should feel… hindered by me?” Garzulan asked, curious as to Javen’s answer.

“Oh, that. It’s just when I thought of a Miralukan seer, I just kind of expected an adult. It’s not that I don’t like you, I’m just surprised that you were alone in owning the cantina, and living there.” Javen said, carefully. “It quite baffles me that you were living alone…”

Garzulan smiled, a dark and sad smile. “I wasn’t always living alone. My parents at one point owned the cantina. However, if we need to attend to the Dark Jedi, I can tell you this story later, it’s a long one, and wouldn’t do it justice if I had to cut it short.”
Javen nodded, and started walking towards the nearest room. “I think he’s in here, maybe. The mechanics aren’t much help.” Javen opened the door, to find an empty room. “Well, I guess I was wrong. Maybe the next door?” Javen opened up the next door in the hallway, and found who he was looking for. “I knew he was going to be in here.”

Garzulan laughed, lightly and said, “Sure you did, Javen, sure you did.”

Javen began to laugh as well. “I should have known that I wouldn’t of been able to get that past you.”

The two walked into the room, and Javen glared at the Dark Jedi, who began to arouse when they walked in the room.

“Oh, it’s you.” The man spat. “What do [/i]you[/i] want?”

Javen inclined his head. “I would think it rather obvious, then again darkness may have clouded your thinking process.” Both Javen and Garzulan smirked at the man, who was enraged at Javen’s joke. “I want to know why you attacked me in Katarr.”

The man smiled darkly. “Well, do you now? Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. Not like it’d matter if you tortured me to get the information you want, I’d just wind up being killed by my master for being defeated by the likes of you, a mere padawan learner.”

Javen smiled. “A padawan, I may be, but a stronger padawan than a Dark Jedi, apparently.”

“SHUT UP!” The man shrieked. “I will NOT be tormented by you. You are nothing but a weak servant of the Light, I could destroy you now if I wanted to!”

Javen rolled his eyes. “Then do it, oh great failing Dark one. Kill me now.”

The man screamed in rage and shot lightning out of his hands, that rebounded off the wall of the ship, and pierced himself. He screamed, in pain, and then grinned as widely as he could. “So maybe I can’t touch you, but I can kill myself.” He said, laughing manically.

Javen blinked a few times. “You wouldn’t.”

Garzulan spoke up for the first time, “Yes, actually he would. I’d watch what you say, and be careful.” Javen’s eyes widened. “I know, it’s rather disturbing, but then again, you’ve got to look at what your talking to… he’s a corrupted Force user. He uses Sith magic.”

Javen nodded, “Okay, so how am I supposed to interrogate him, without him killing himself?” Garzulan shrugged. “Hmmm… maybe- no, that would be cruel. I’m not too sure, but I believe that I’ll find a way.”

Garzulan nodded. “I believe I feel Onderon’s presence lurking somewhere just outside the ship. I believe that we’d better go to the bridge… you’re girlfriend is getting… restless.”

Javen’s eyes widened, and he spat out as fast as he could, “Leah’s not my girlfriend… she’s just my pilot!”

Garzulan smirked. “Fine, you’re future girlfriend is getting restless.” Javen turned a bright red, and pulled Garzulan out of the room, to the bridge.


Leah cocked her head to the side, when she saw Javen’s blood filled face. “Javen, are you… are you blushing?” Javen quickly shook his head, but Garzulan nodded his head. “Err… we are approaching Onderon, sir, do you want to request to land?”

“Yes,” Javen said, turning a shade lighter. “I would greatly appreciate it if you would Leah.” Garzulan opened his mouth to say something, but Javen threw a hand over his mouth, and whispered in his ear. “Don’t say a word about what you just told me!” Garzulan shrugged and agreed, reluctantly.

Javen let go of Garzulan, walked to the front of the bridge, and looked down at the gigantic planet. It teemed with life, and beauty. It’s sheer massive size of life was enough to make Javen smile. The bright hum of energy, felt strangely comforting to Javen, but that may have been because he hadn’t felt such thriving energy since before he had landed on Katarr. Javen’s bright blue eyes gleamed with excitement at finally meeting his parents, and discovering why his father was so obsessed with him.

Leah looked from one boy to the next, gazing at Javen a little longer than she had intended to. Javen had turned around, just as soon as she was about to look out the window, and their eyes met. His brilliant blue eyes seemed to stun her, and her crystal clear eyes seemed to catch him off guard. Both turned a bright scarlet, and looked down at their feet.

Garzulan grinned, and broke the ice. “Leah, are you so sure that you should be here? Given your… history with the Onderonians.”

Javen’s eyebrows furrowed. “What is he talking about Leah?”

Leah was still looking at her feet, and mumbling softly. “I… at one point, I worked for one of the generals of Onderon. Which is how I have these Onderonian soldier clothes, but the general died, and I fled to Dantooine. The Onderonians have claimed me a traitor and marked me for death.”

Javen’s eyebrows shot upwards. “I, Javen Light…” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Prince of Onderon, do hereby pardon you from your death penalty.” Leah’s eyes shot upwards at Javen, when he revealed himself as the heir to the Onderonian throne.

Garzulan grinned, bigger. “Looks like the two of you were keeping secrets from each other… perhaps it’s best to clear all secrets now.” He said, elbowing Javen in the ribs. Javen rolled his eyes, and jabbed Garzulan in the chest, forcefully, with the ball of his elbow. Garzulan howled, both in pain and glee. “You should tell her, I believe she has a right to know.”

Javen shook his head, slowly. “No, I don’t think that now would be the time.” He said, rummaging through his pack for his neatly cloth-wrapped crown. “There’s not enough time, and so much to say.”

“Not really. I could some it up in two sentences.” Garzulan said, silently. Javen glared at the Miraluka teen, but found his crown by stabbing his thumb into one of it’s sharp points. “I won’t though… I think it should be you who tells her.”

“Who tells me what? I’m not deaf! I can hear what you two are saying.” Leah said. Javen situated the solid gold crown on his head, and then both boys turned their heads towards each other and began laughing hysterically. “This isn’t funny! I want to know.”

“All in due time, all in due time.” Garzulan said. “Actually, I don’t quite believe we’ve been truly introduced. I’ve heard quite a bit about you though. I’m Garzulan Lithan.” He continued, starting to untie the cloth around his head. “I’m…” He slowly pulled the cloth forward.

“YOU’RE A MIRALUKA!” Leah shouted. “I can’t believe it! Javen! Why didn’t you tell me that we had a Miraluka on board?”

Garzulan grinned, and put the cloth back over his eye sockets. “I figured that it was rather obvious.” Javen said, to Leah. “I went to Katarr in search of a Miraluka and I come back with two new people, you’d think that one of them would’ve been a Miraluka. And you saw the other one’s eyes… so I just assumed you knew that Garzulan was one.”


“Captain Wolffe! They have cleared us to land.” A Republic soldier said, slowly approaching the three, obviously terrified of the Jedi Apprentice and the Miralukan teen. He was about medium height, with muddy brown eyes, and had shaggy black unkempt hair. His nose was slightly crooked, as if broken a time or two.

Leah nodded, and spoke concisely. “Very well… prepare to land.” She looked over at Javen, but refused to utter another word to the hard-headed seventeen year old.

Javen grinned, looking down at the rapidly approaching planet. Finally, I will see the home that was always meant for me, the one that I would have lived in, had my mother not given me over the Jedi Order. Javen said, to himself, quite excited. Javen motioned for the same to mechanics that helped him earlier to go to him. “I need you to transport the prisoner over to the palace, for us.” They nodded in compliance, and moved off to get him.


The ship touched down on the ground, and Javen bounded down the loading ramp, followed closely by Garzulan and Leah. Sure enough, a set of Onderonian soldiers stopped the small party in the streets, obviously glaring at Leah. Javen glared at them and cleared his throat, and they all glanced over at the young prince. The golden crown gleamed, as the bright orange sun reflected off of the crown like a mirror. The soldiers stopped, and looked between the two of them, and then bowed down to Javen.

“Stand, I do not wish you to bow to me…” Javen said, smoothly. “I’m much more concerned about my pilot and friend, rather than formalities. I have pardoned her of all charges, that the army has put against her. You may not touch her, and if you so much as look at her in a murderous way, I will have you arrested and thrown in prison for the rest of your miserable life. Do you understand me?” The soldiers murmured to the ground, obviously saying yes. “I want you to spread this throughout the city and army. No one is to harm her.” The group of soldiers murmured again. “Am I understood?”

“Sir, yes, sir!” The entire group rang out, at once, suddenly in unison. “We will provide her with the protection you have specified, sir! Would you like an escort to the palace?”

Javen nodded, and two burly men came stumbling forward. The first had several stripes across the top of his sleeve, obviously a lieutenant for the small group. The second wore just plain soldier clothing, and had a much softer face, than the battle-hardened lieutenant. Both had eerie gray eyes, and short brown hair. In fact, when Javen looked at them, he could barely tell any difference in the two, except that the lieutenant had a thin scar running down his left cheek.

“I am lieutenant Largan Dringsto, and this is my twin brother, Marcus.” The one with the scar said, softly. “We will be your guide in the city, your highness.”

Javen rolled his eyes, and spoke loudly. “I do not want you referring to me as your highness, Prince Javen, Prince Light or Prince highness… I am Javen, simply Javen. That is what my name is, and that is what you will call me.” The two twins bowed, while nodding. “Now then, if you would, take me to the palace.”

The party and their guards made their way up the streets of the big city. “Sir, if I do say so myself, you look extraordinarily like your father, however, you have the queen’s eyes.” Javen smiled, obviously happy with the lieutenant’s words. They reached the front doors to the castle, and parted ways. “Good bye, your high- err… I mean Javen.” Javen waved to the two, and pulled Leah and Garzulan inside the palace.

A high, vibrant scream came rushing at them down the hall. Javen and Garzulan broke out into a run, guided by the Force. Leah was having trouble keeping up with the two Force users. Eventually, the small group came into a gigantic open space, the throne room of the Onderonian Royal Family. A man of about thirty-nine was standing over a human body, silent tears rushing down his face. As Javen approached, he noticed that the body was wearing a tiara… it was his mother that lay dead on the ground. Shock flitted across his face, and then a couple of Dark Jedi jumped out from behind the throne, double-bladed lightsabers in hand.

Both Javen and Garzulan had their sabers in hand, the dim hum of the lightsaber a kind of omnipotent symbol of darkness. Leah drew a vibrosword, and stood between the two lightsaber duelists. The two Dark Jedi however, didn’t have their lightsabers activated, they stood there laughing at the three.

Suddenly, a bright light shrouded the Dark Jedi, and when the light dissipated, they were no longer stand, but rather dead on the floor. Javen looked over at the man standing over his mother, and realized instantly that it was his father, arms parallel to the floor, and that lightning had arched from his fingertips and killed the two Dark Force users…
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Old 10-12-2008, 12:19 PM   #16
Bee Hoon
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Hmmm, not bad so far. Small errors here and there, but a quick polish would fix those

Why would the Jedi condone his attachment to his parents? It is against doctrine, and if he can't even remember them, why would they tell him who his parents are? It may be for the purpose for an alliance, but it is still doubtful that they would allow him to resume his position. How old is Leah, btw? Can't be that young, as she's already a captain. The story they invented for Garzulan's presence is kinda strained, and while it is technically possible for him to own a cantina, I'd expect him to be more ruthless in order to keep everyone in line.

THe story has a lot of potential, but it could use some editing Keep it up!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 10-12-2008, 12:38 PM   #17
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The story of Leah is all in good time, Bee. However, she is 19.

The reason for the Jedi allowing Javen to resume his place as the Onderonian Prince, is because he is the only known child of the Royal family at this point. However, later we will find that there is another child of the true descendent of Freedon Nadd, the Queen of Onderon, who has just been killed.

Garzulan... ahhh, a quite complex character. While he is the owner of the Cantina, he is not the one who runs it, hence the barman that was a bit secretive. And to keep him extra protected, for he could not completely trust the barman so he enlisted a mercenary army.
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Old 10-12-2008, 12:45 PM   #18
Bee Hoon
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Mmm, when I was younger, I used to love writng about precocious characters.One or two are okay, but you have to remember that they are exceptions to the rule, so don't overuse them. It may be hard to write from a POV of say, a 30 year old, but as it is, teens really don't rule the galaxy.

The Jedi generally aren't accommodating that way >.> I can see Vrook saying "So? Have another kid then." And will you be explaining what happened to any other kids (since I presume they wouldn't give their only son to the Jedi?)

Heh, the bartender obviously wasn't trustworthy Indeed, but he still needs to deal with the bartender and suppliers and stuff, unless he has a manger, who also may be a crook.



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 10-12-2008, 12:52 PM   #19
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Well, his mother gave the first born son to the Jedi. And well... I won't reveal a lot, but the other boy's dad isn't Javen's father... they are only half-brothers, and Javen is still the elder of the two anyway.

The Jedi Order at this point is going to be a bit more relaxed, there hasn't been a war for almost two thousand years... but there is a Sith Cult rising... meh, I've said too much already.
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Old 10-12-2008, 12:56 PM   #20
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You already hinted that the other boy wasn't Javen's father;D Okie, but it would be good if you could justify them giving away their firstborn son, taking into consideration the fact that: 1. Royalty tend to be a tad obsessive about firstborns and lineages etc; and 2. You mentioned that the Onderonian royalty had a falling out with the Jedi.



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 10-12-2008, 01:03 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bee Hoon View Post
You mentioned that the Onderonian royalty had a falling out with the Jedi.
That was because of Freedon Nadd, despite the fact that Talia joined the Republic, they still didn't completely trust the Royal Family. (<- I used that smiley just cause I thought it was funny.)

As for the other... you'll see, I'm going to explain it. And because I've got my mind set with Dickens now, I may not reveal some of your statements/questions till the end.
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Old 10-12-2008, 05:28 PM   #22
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I have just read this story in one sitting, and I found it to be very enjoyable.

First the suggestions: Garzulan's joining Javen was rather abrupt...though, I think you smoothed it out a bit. Also, I assume everything with Javen's dead mother and all that will be explained?

Now the praise!

I think Javen, Leah, and Garzulan have good chemistry, I loved their dialogue. Garzulan is fast becoming my favorite - his knowing yet freindly manner is very intersting and refreshing. Javen's background has also caught my attention.

Just a question: How is Leah a captain if she is only 19?

You have a good start here and I think this story has a lot of potential. Keep up the good work - happy writing!

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 10-12-2008, 06:28 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HIGH ON PIE 14 View Post
I have just read this story in one sitting, and I found it to be very enjoyable.

First the suggestions: Garzulan's joining Javen was rather abrupt...though, I think you smoothed it out a bit. Also, I assume everything with Javen's dead mother and all that will be explained?
Yes... the death of the Queen of Onderon will be explained.
spoiler:
Javen's father is soon to be killed too... and I believe at that point I will explain it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by HOP
Now the praise!
Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HOP
I think Javen, Leah, and Garzulan have good chemistry, I loved their dialogue. Garzulan is fast becoming my favorite - his knowing yet freindly manner is very intersting and refreshing. Javen's background has also caught my attention.
Ahhh... good, then my intentions for Garzulan are coming to. I intended on him to be the favorite character, even with Javen being the main character. Though, as Javen softens up, he will be ever more like Garzulan...
spoiler:
I won't tell you why though... so sorry.


Quote:
Originally Posted by HOP
Just a question: How is Leah a captain if she is only 19?
All will be explained in great time. Although, I've hinted at it subtly throughout the story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HOP
You have a good start here and I think this story has a lot of potential. Keep up the good work - happy writing!

~HOP
I thank you so much, for your kind words. I haven't began chapter four yet... though I plan to within the next hour... I may or may not have it done within four hours. It usually takes me much longer than that, but occassionally I'll have one done if four hours.
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Old 10-12-2008, 10:50 PM   #24
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No rush, you seem to be cranking out chapters quickly. Sometimes stuff just comes to you and sometime you have to sit and think.

I look forward to chapter 4 and thanks for answering my questions.

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 10-13-2008, 11:16 PM   #25
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Chapter 4- The Coronation


Javen was sulking in a room in the Onderonian palace. He’d been there for three days, and his dad still hadn’t said a word to him. He’d been basically just hanging out in the Cantina with Garzulan for the past three days, until his father summoned him. Today, Garzulan was supposed to come into Javen’s room, and teach him how to use Force Sight. A knock came at his door, and the door slid open. Garzulan walked in, being forced towards Javen, behind him was the one and only King of Onderon.

“This guy says he knows you…” The deep bass voice of the King said. “Is that true?” Javen nodded, looking his father from head to toe. He had shortened brown hair, flaked with gray, his hairline was receding, and he had wrinkles on his forehead and face. His eyes were sunken in, but their color was still as vibrant green as the blade of a viridian lightsaber crystal. He also had lines running down his face, obviously from where he’d been weeping over his lost wife. “Alright then…” He turned Garzulan around. “Why do you wear that cloth over your eyes? Why don’t you take it off?”

“No. That won’t be necessary, Garzulan. It doesn’t matter.” Javen said, speaking up. The king glared at him, but didn’t argue. “He has a right to keep what he wants to a secret, father. I don’t care if you were the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, I’d still say the same.” Javen said, inclining his head.

“Javen, I don’t care.” Garzulan said, lightly. “I’ll do it if he really wants me to.” He started untying the knot that held the cloth in place. Javen sighed, but decided that the ultimate decision was up to Garzulan. Garzulan slowly removed the cloth and inclined his head high enough for the king to see his eyeless face. The king jumped back, shocked by what he saw in the boy’s face.

“You… you’re an abomination! Leave my palace at once!” The king yelled, at Garzulan.

“NO! He will stay father! Under my command as both a Jedi and part of the Onderonian Royal family!” Javen spat. “However, unless you’ve come to discuss what I wanted to, you may kindly leave my room. I simply refuse to sit here, idly while there are Dark Jedi out there making assassination attempts. I will leave in two days.”

The king arched his eyebrows. “Two days? So your staying long enough for the funeral?”

“I wasn’t aware that I was. However, I suppose we must talk fast then, if the funeral is going to take up a day.” Javen said, coldly. “This is what I want to know… why have you become so… infatuated with me recently? Why are you starting this now, just as I’m about to become a Jedi Knight?”

The king shrugged, however his words contradicted his body gesture. “Your mother foresaw both of our deaths. She knew that they were going to be soon, since she is only limited to so far in what she can see, unlike that of a…” He spoke the next words with great reluctance, and glared over his shoulder at Garzulan. “Miraluka.”

Javen sighed, and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. He directed the next sentence at Garzulan, but kept the pretense of talking to his father. “Do you know how long you have?” Javen used his peripheral vision to see Garzulan mouthing the word, tonight. Javen’s face remained impassive, but his insides shrieked.

“I’m not sure, she didn’t see the exact time that either of us would die.” The king said.

Javen turned his head to watch Garzulan put the bandana back over his eyes, and clenched his jaw. “I’m going… to the cantina, with Garzulan. I probably won’t be back tonight. I need to check on the ship, and make sure Leah’s crew has everything under control.”

His father shrugged, and turned to walk out the door, then turned back around to add one last thing. “I’m sorry I haven’t been a greater part of your past. If I could change anything, it’d be contact with you for the past seventeen years.” The king smiled, oblivious to his impending doom that night. “If you need anything just ask me, and I’ll make sure you get it… even if your half-way across the galaxy when you ask.”

Javen nodded, unable to speak. The king stood in the doorway for a few more minutes, and realized that his son wasn’t going to say anything, so he turned on his heel and left.


“I just don’t understand, Garzulan. Who?” Javen asked. The Miraluka teen shrugged. “Why is the Royal family being picked off, one by one?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but if I may add my own two cents, I do believe it is because your family aren’t followers of the Darkside. One of the oldest Sith families, turned to followers of the Light by one of your ancestors, and I believe now they are getting their revenge because it’s rather small at this point. I doubt that they even know that the king and queen had a child.” Garzulan said, slowly. “I do know that another Dark Jedi won’t show up. They saw the Midnight Hawk land here, and felt two Lightsided Force Users on board this ship, along with several soldiers.”

Javen nodded, wishing that his father hadn’t killed the Dark Jedi that Garzulan and himself had taken hostage. He had so many questions for him, and felt that the three Dark Jedi killed in the Onderonian Palace were connected to the same source. “Alright. But isn’t there anything we can do to prevent this from happening?” Javen asked.

“I’m afraid not, seeing as I have no clue how your father is going to be killed.” Garzulan said. “The most we can hope for is that tonight’s murder isn’t successful , because if it isn’t, the Sith won’t be too happy and they’ll kill the assassin.”

Javen sighed, and kicked at a piece of scrap metal laying on the floor of the Republic ship. “Come on, I guess we’d better not stay up all night, not if we want to be aware of the proceedings tomorrow. Oh, and I got a second bed put in the room, we don’t have to alternate sleeping in the floor anymore. You can choose which bed you’d prefer.” He said, both physical and emotional exhaustion seeping into his words.

The two teenage boys stepped into the room, and immediately began changing from dirty clothes to clean, night clothes. Javen accidentally spilled out the possessions he had in his pack, and stepped on the holocron. The image of Freedon Nadd flickered to life in the room, and began to speak. Both boys froze and then turned to face it.

“Ahhh… you’ve set me free of that black hole twice now, surely you want something this time.” Freedon Nadd said, watching Javen. “Or perhaps your… friend would like to learn a few Dar-”

“Shut up.” Javen said. “I didn’t mean to turn it on. Neither of us want anything you have to offer.” Javen snarled at the hologram of Freedon Nadd.

Garzulan cocked his head to the side, but refused to speak. This confutation was between ancestor and descendant.

“I know you do… young Jedi. All your age seek power, seek to prove they are ready to pass the trials.” Freedon Nadd spoke, sharply.

Javen winced, and picked up the small disk that held Nadd’s image in it when he wasn’t being projected out of it, and turned it off. The hologram of his ancestor was sucked into the void inside, like a black hole sucking everything around it into it’s depths.

Garzulan untied his bandana before speaking. “How long have you had that… thing?”

“I’ve had it for about a week now.” Javen said. “I accidentally activated the darn thing just before I landed on Katarr as well. He keeps trying to tell me that he want’s to teach me something. I just know it’ll cause me to fall to the Darkside though, otherwise he wouldn’t offer it to me.”

Garzulan cocked his head to the side. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Remember what I said the other day, how Force powers aren’t related to the Lightside or the Darkside? I still hold on to that belief. It’s just the narrow views of the Jedi and Sith that see them that way. My entire race has seen things that way, and as long as we are alive, we always will.”

Javen nodded, obviously thinking about what Garzulan said. “I’ll sleep on that, and see how I feel about it in the morning. And as soon as we get up, you’re going to teach me how to use Force Sight right? I mean, my father kind of messed that up today.”

Garzulan grinned. “Of course I will… I just wasn’t entirely sure you still wished to learn it.”

Javen and Garzulan both grinned at each other, then climbed into their beds.

“Good night Javen. May the Force be with You, as you sleep.” Garzulan said, yawning.

“Good night Garzulan, my friend. And May the Force be with you as well.” Javen replied, obviously happy that he and Garzulan had broken down the issue of trust in such a short time together.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later


“Shhh… be quite you imbecile!” A menacing tenor voice said quietly, from behind a black hood. “Do you want him to wake and call his guards on you?”

“No, master.” The mechanical voice of an assassin droid replied. “I only wish to return to you with the job done.”

The black hooded figure disappeared, his hologram retreating back into the comlink in the droid’s free hand. The small, silvery droid opened a small side hatch and shoved the comlink inside, then shut the hatch. The droid slipped into the king’s sleeping chambers, unnoticed by anyone, and pulled out a vile of dark green liquid.

The droid moved towards the bed, as silently as was possible, and opened the vile. It put the cool glass against the king’s mouth, and tipped it upward, forcing out every last drop of the green poison.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Javen woke with a start, in the middle of the night. Sweat beads rolling down both his face and bare torso. His face was clammy, and his skin was snow white. He jumped quietly out of bed, and walked over to his pack and pulled out a canteen filled with water, he took a few sips and then screwed the lid back and shoved it back into the bag. Javen walked back over to his bed, and climbed in it. I believe that it’s just happened, though I have been known to be wrong. Let us hope that this one time at least that I am. Javen thought to himself, and then slowly drifted back into the abyss of unconsciousness.


Morning came far to quickly for Javen, his sense of being the last survivor of the throne strengthened, as he got dressed. He wore a plain set of black robes for his mother’s funeral, and Garzulan borrowed his only other set of black robes. Both boys and Leah were invited to the funeral, though the boys had the sense of foreboding that the funeral wasn’t simply going to be one body that day, but two. However, they refused to tell Leah when she saw the grim look in Javen’s eyes.

She followed their slow march up to the Palace, just as both of them had expected, pandemonium and chaos was reigning in the place. Servants were running up and down the hallways, looking for Javen. Then one saw him, and slid forward, trying to stop. When he had successfully stopped, he turned and ran towards Javen, nearly colliding with the teenager, but Javen caught him and stood him up on his feet.

“Prince Javen… your father was killed last night! We feared the same had happened to you, and then when we couldn’t find you in your room, we were scared that they had kidnapped you!” The alto voice of the female cook said. Her red hair was tied up in a bun, and her green eyes seemed to complement her hair rather well. Her skin was a few shades darker than Javen’s, as though she had gotten out quite a bit and was tanning. She had on a black apron, over her bright pink night clothing.

Javen scratched his head, thinking about what to say. “Go tell the others you’ve found me. Tell them that I said they need to get back to their stations and not worry about me. I’ll be fine, but our guests will be arriving any minute, and we do not want to give them any reason to think that Onderon is having a power struggle.” The woman bowed, and ran off.

“Smooth.” Garzulan whispered, grinning from ear to ear. “Your first day of giving orders, and you already are thinking about the well being of your people. I must say I commend you on that. Very few would be able to do that, most would be too upset about their own family to think about such matters.”

“Don’t you know by now, Garzulan? I’m a freak… I’m not like normal people.” Javen said, playfully. All three of them busted out laughing, and walked towards the garden.

Javen sat down at the foot of a flower bed, and began meditating. Garzulan joined him, and allowed Leah free roam of the garden. Thirty minutes passed, before Javen felt the first presence of one of the noblemen. He slowly stood up, and placed his crown upon his head. Garzulan stood up, and motioned for Leah to come back and go with them.

Bored with staring at the same vine that had twisted up one of the support beams of the palace, she shrugged and fell in step behind the two boys.

For the next four hours, Javen was stuck shaking hands with nobles and peasants alike, eventually when it was finally over, they all gathered around the newly made coffin of his mother. Most didn’t realize that his father wasn’t there yet, or they didn’t care. However, a few of the greater noble approached Javen and asked. When Javen told them, shock and anger flitted quickly across their faces, before they masked it behind apathy.

The sooner the funeral was scheduled to start, the more people realized that the king wasn’t present. Eventually, Javen grew tired of having to answer the questions of where his father was, and made a public announcement to everyone present. Terror reigned in, and whispers of taking the throne of Onderon occurred numerous times, until Javen shot Force Lightning into the air. All was quiet then, and the servants ushered to Javen’s aid, taking all the guests to the burial place where both deceased king and queen of Onderon would lay, in forever slumber and taking the queen’s coffin to the graveyard.

Javen, Garzulan, and Leah soon followed, making sure that no nobles had slipped through to try and steal from the palace. Javen was soon enough walking on the graves of the long dead rulers of Onderon, the only one that was missing from the graveyard was Freedon Nadd, the only reason that he was of the Royal Family. Javen had his fingers and the heel of his palms pressed together, to make an upside down pyramid. His breathing slowed, considerably and he stumbled forward, taking his seat at the front of the ceremony. Leah and Garzulan sat on either side of him, remaining quiet.

Javen put his head in his hands and sat there, motionless for about an hour. Eventually, a minister walked in front of both the royals resting place, and began to speak. Javen’s head slowly came up, and he watched the ceremony.



Seven hours later…

“Sir, the last of the nobles and peasants have left. What is it that you wish to do now?” The red headed cook asked Javen, not knowing what she should be doing. “If you have nothing planned, the Prime Minister would very much love to talk to you.”

Javen nodded, and followed the cook towards the throne room.

“Ah! You must be Javen!” The same man who had conducted the funeral said, rushing up to shake Javen’s hand. His hair was a bright silvery color, he was rather short, even for an old man. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to be a testament to how much stress he and lack of sleep he had gotten since the queen’s death. The wrinkles on his face, made him look very much like that of a pug. “I’ve heard much about you, my lord.” The man bowed. “I am quite sorry that you’ve lost your family.”

Javen raised an eyebrow, and remained quiet for a few seconds. “Hello, I assume that you are the Prime Minister on this planet. I am not as effected about losing my family, because I did not know them.”

The Minister shrugged. “Please, call me Joslan, and that brings even more sympathy to you. A prince who has never known his parents, and about the time he arrives, they are both murdered.”

“Well, I mean this with all due respect, I don’t want sympathy.” Javen said, somewhat coldly. “In fact, I’d like to be on my way back to the Jedi Temple. Grand Mistress Kanna has given me an assignment that needs to be done immediately.”

Joslan nodded. “Very well, though right now, we are left with a vacuum… if you catch my drift. With no ruler to guide us, the world will fall into a civil war.”

Javen shook his head. “No. I have Jedi business to attend to. I have not the time to stay here and play spoiled Royal br-”

Joslan cut Javen off. “You do not have to remain here, just be a public image. We could cover up your disappearances as you going to Courscant to get the Senate on your side, or for you to visit with the Senator of Onderon in person. If you do not take the crown, war will envelope on Onderon, and eventually you’d have no choice but as to come and stop the uprising.”

Javen considered this. “So what your saying is that if I refuse the crown now, I’ll just wind up taking it later, after tons of bloodshed?” The Minister nodded once. Javen sighed. “I suppose when you put it that way, then I really have no choice but as to accept the throne.”

Joslan grinned. “Good. Your coronation will begin in an hour. Bring all whom you trust. We can not let it leak that you are the actual heir to the throne, otherwise many will seek to murder you, as you have seen with your parents being killed this closely. Most of the guests today assumed that you were a distant nephew of the king and queen, and so they think that you do not have any right to be ruler. But when you are established at ruler, the guards will be sure to crush any resistance before it begins.”

Javen nodded, there were only two people who he would bring to his coronation. Garzulan and Leah, the only two that he trusted with his life. And with nothing more to say between the two, Javen left to go find his two friends.


Garzulan and Leah, sat in two chairs, facing each other. Javen came marching down the ‘aisle’ created between the two chairs, and as he passed, they turned their chairs towards the throne of Onderon. The young man was wearing a set of white robes, lined in gold and royal purple. The Prime Minister approached Javen, a more detailed and beautiful crown was carried in his hands.

“Javen Light, Prince of Onderon, do you swear to uphold the law and do what is best for the people, even if it may cause you to die?” Joslan said, speaking with power behind each word.

“I, Javen Light, do swear by the Force to uphold all laws and do what is best for the people of Onderon, even after death.” Javen said, confidently.

“Then by the power of the Onderonian kingdom, I do place this crown upon your head, and pronounce you gladly as the new king of Onderon.” Joslan said, grinning. Joslan slowly lowered the crown onto Javen’s head. Light gleamed off of both the solid gold crown, as well as the rubies and sapphires inlaid in the crown. The Onderonian Royal crest was facing out towards Garzulan and Leah.

Last edited by Darth Kalverys; 10-13-2008 at 11:28 PM. Reason: Wrong Chapter number ^_^ silly me!
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Old 10-14-2008, 06:55 PM   #26
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I have a lot of catching up to do...

How long do you plan to make this?

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Old 10-15-2008, 07:41 AM   #27
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Somewhere between 15 and 25...
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Old 10-15-2008, 08:04 AM   #28
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Oh, that's long. But with a story as interesting as yours it will be very enjoyable.

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Old 10-15-2008, 07:43 PM   #29
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I like the new chapter! Good description. I am definately looking forward to more.

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Old 10-15-2008, 08:37 PM   #30
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Nice... very nice. I am not one for stories that are completely original with no point of reference, but I rather like this one. Javen seems to have a defined personality that stands out from others, but is difficult to describe.

Javen, Leah, and Garzulan are a nice group to work off of because they are different, but can work together to take advantage of their strengths. I think you should have more friction among them to add more to the little conflicts.

I am looking forward to new chapters and wish you the best of luck while I get caught up.
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Old 10-15-2008, 08:57 PM   #31
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Thanks! However, due to some... difficulties, I may not have another chapter for a couple of weeks. Play rehersal... AP homework... just a lot to do.
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Old 10-16-2008, 05:16 PM   #32
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After just finishing chapter 2, and reading the name of chapter 3, I can tell this is going to be good. Great job!

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Old 10-18-2008, 01:42 AM   #33
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Very good job on chapter 4! I am growing to like Javen's personality more and more as the story progresses. As DY said, Javen, Garzulan, and Leah have good chemistry and work well together.

Eurgh, AP homework...I feel for you, I've got a lot of that myself. Which ones do you take?

I await the next chapter...don't worry about it taking a while...at the rate I'm getting homework the next time I'll have a free moment is two weeks anyway.

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 10-18-2008, 10:45 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HIGH ON PIE 14 View Post
Very good job on chapter 4! I am growing to like Javen's personality more and more as the story progresses. As DY said, Javen, Garzulan, and Leah have good chemistry and work well together.
*grins* That's awsome... though, I still think Garzulan will wind up being the favorite.

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Originally Posted by HOP 14 View Post
Eurgh, AP homework...I feel for you, I've got a lot of that myself. Which ones do you take?
AP English, AP American Government, PAP Chemistry... then Algebra II as well, though we rarely have homework in there...

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Originally Posted by HOP 14 View Post
I await the next chapter...don't worry about it taking a while...at the rate I'm getting homework the next time I'll have a free moment is two weeks anyway.

~HOP
Hahaha... that's okay. I may have a bit of chapter 5 written today, as we don't have to be back up at the school today til 4... tomorrow is our last performance! WOOOOO HOOOOO!
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Old 10-18-2008, 07:45 PM   #35
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Oh, Garzulan is still the favorite, but I'm liking Javen more and more with each chapter. Thats a good thing, when the reader enjoys all of the characters.

I have AP U.S. Government and Algebra II as well. Ooh, AP Chem...I was too scared to take that one. (Also got AP Art History and AP Environmental Science)

Good luck with you performance. Break a leg! (The only stage talk I know )

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:07 AM   #36
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The King seems to speak very informally (e.g. this guy)! Javen seems very bossy for a teenager and a Jedi

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Originally Posted by Rueben Shan
why have you become so… infatuated with me recently?
May I suggest using the word obsessed instead?

Quote:
“Alright. But isn’t there anything we can do to prevent this from happening?” Javen asked.
For one thing, they could guard him instead of going to the cantina!

Quote:
She had on a black apron, over her bright pink night clothing.
Why? I don't think she'd stop to cook if she was i such a rush that she didn't even change out of her pajamas!

Quote:
When Javen told them, shock and anger flitted quickly across their faces, before they masked it behind apathy.
Why did they do so?

Quote:
Javen put his head in his hands and sat there, motionless for about an hour.
Everyone just sat there for an hour, not doing anything? ;p

In a nutshell, an eventful chapter! You still have not revealed where Javen got the holocron from, and he seems remarkably blase about it. I know I'd be pretty darned surprised if a Sith holocron popped up in my backpack And I'd like to know who put it there, so that serious words will be had! There's minor grammatical errors here and there, but the plot seems to be shaping up nicely. It would be nice to see Leah and Garzulan react more to what happens to Javen, as they're both quite endearing Keep it up, and don't forget to proofread!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 10-20-2008, 10:20 PM   #37
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Chapter 3:

Not bad, not bad at all. I liked how you brought a romance aspect into the story, and I suppose it will be even more present in future chapters.

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Old 01-29-2009, 09:39 PM   #38
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Hey guys... I just came to tell you that I haven't forgotten about this... I just have no time to write... as I type now, I'm doing a research paper for english. q>.<p And the school year is just barely half over... so I dunno when next I'll be able to write... maybe when things settle down in school. Or maybe during the summer... but I promise I haven't forgotten about this! And thanks for the comments everyone!
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