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Old 11-07-2008, 09:08 PM   #41
machievelli
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A note on this section: In the book "The Case Against Star Wars, one of the charges was linked to Leia being assigned to be the load master because she wasn't 'competent' to handle anyhing else. As a military specialist, I know how had the job is, so check this and the next section out as to hard the 'job' is...


Today

The fire had sunk to coals as Kiara finished her story. The Mando toasted the story, and passed around the bottles. Merisa watched the girl Sasha. She was watching Kiara in amazement, and Merisa remembered the first time she had sat in the story circle, and wondered when she would be able to speak of what she had done. It had been so long since she stood for the first time.

“Mother?” She looked at Kiara. “Tell us of a battle, mother.”

She looked at the children, all so expectant. She sipped her wine. “I will not tell of battle, but I will tell of when I found my warrior heart. You all know we speak of that first battle, the chance to learn if your heart is Mando. I will tell you of when I found this within my own chest.”

*****

Fifty years earlier

“Zakal-” Kiara began.

The woman shushed the warrior, then began laying out what she had discovered rapidly in fluent Mando. Moments later Kiara transmitted on the special channel. The guards, usually amiable were suddenly the silent killers better known through the galaxy.

“It will take time.” Kiara warned as she stopped transmitting. She hadn’t used pure Mando’a, rather she had used the dialect of Goontar province with it’s clipped vowels and odd loan words from a score of worlds the Mando had fought across. While anyone native would understand (Sometimes with difficulty) no one else would.

“Time we must spend though I do not like it.” Zakal said. “I will organize our escape. Command our forces. We must gather the children in one place to protect them.” Zakal looked at Merisa. “Come here, little sister.”

The girl walked over, and the woman rested a hand on her shoulder. “I have a question to ask, and will not be upset with the truth. You killed one of us when we took your family home. Could you shoot someone when your life is not in danger? Do not answer as you wish me to hear, girl. Answer from your heart.”

Merisa stared at her. “I don’t know.”

“Honest.” Zakal smiled. “We need to protect the other children like you, but there are odd things about some of them. The Government were too willing that we take the four oldest. We must have someone they might trust, that we can trust watching them until the shuttles arrive. Someone willing to protect themselves and all the younger ones. Can you do this?” Merisa nodded.

“Excellent. Then you had best be off to get dressed.”

Kiara led her to he armory. “Jaspar!” She shouted. The old man turned, setting down the weapon he was working on.

“What?”

“You heard. We need her buy’ce.”

The old man snorted. “Finished it two days ago.” He brought out the helmet, holding it out to Merisa. “Try it on little one.”

She stared at it, remembering the shattered hole in the visor, now repaired without a seam. The smell was gone, a clean smelling scent like when her mother clean the house hung in the air. But she was sure she could still smell the death on it.

Kiara knelt. “We need to hurry. You will need this if you wish to help us. It is your choice.”

The girl lifted the helmet, remembering stories she had heard from her parents. Of cursed crowns that drove men mad, of helmets of great heroes that gave you their strength. Which would this be?

Uncomfortable was what it was. The bottom of the helmet bumped her neck, and it was skewed on her head. She knew that if someone slapped her the helmet would spin on her head like a top on the spindle of her head. Kiara knelt. “Merisa, there are small tabs on either side of your head. If you press them it will adjust the lining. These are one size fits all.”

It took a few moments, but finally it fit snugly on her head. The old man handed her a wide armband. “Most of the controls for your helmet are here, though the helmet itself can do all of them. If you click your tongue or flick it in the small stem, it will adjust views, target for your weapons, set communications channels, adjust lighting and sound from outside, everything. Or you can use the control pad.

“We’ve set one dedicated channel for you, so most of what you hear will be background in Mando’a. When we speak with you or you speak to us, we’ll use the local dialect.”

“Why did you set my own channel?” She asked.

“We’re going to be busy.” Kiara told her, but there is one thing we need, and for that we need someone we can trust.” Kiara explained. “There is one I want you to remember in our language little one. “Voor’shi.

Voor’shi.” Merisa repeated. “What does it mean?”

“It means get down fast. If you hear it we are getting ready to fire, and if you are standing, you might be hurt or killed.”

“Why am I doing this? Why can’t Zakal do this?”

Kiara looked at her, then knelt. “To get out of this alive, everyone must do their part. Our warriors have to take a ship in orbit and get another shuttle to lift all of us in one group. Zakal will be coordinating it all.

“It is the hardest job of all. She must keep track of our people, both here and in the Autiise shuttles. She must monitor the enemy frequencies, and warn us of enemy attacks, tell us when to retreat, when to stand and die. She is likely to be among those taken.” Kiara looked up, face bleak. “Any of us who are captured will suffer a fate worse than death for a Mando’a.” She looked at the girl. “If you feel you cannot do this, we will assign another”

“Tell me what I must do.”

Merisa went to gather the children of her homeworld, taking them to Kiara’s tent. She was a nine year old girl, but she was one in a helmet like the other Mando, a gun strapped to her hip, and when she spoke the voice was deeper, as if she were a small adult. The children jumped when she spoke, and chivvying them along was absurdly simple. She suddenly felt old, even though four of the boys were older than her but they could not be trusted. The younger children looked at her as if she were the mother or a monster, and she found herself organizing them into places to sleep in what had been her room. Within an hour half a dozen of the warriors, mainly the young ones had surrounded the tent.

“Keep them quiet, Merisa.” One of them commented.

“Why me?” She asked plaintively. “Why am I in charge?”

The Mando looked at her. “You’re the one with the helmet and gun, that’s why.” He turned, facing outward.

She went back in. The four older boys were sitting playing some card game. In the background she heard a voice over a loudspeaker. “Eta Koos, Koos meh! Seize the infidels!”

As the first words were spoken three of the boys looked up, then one of them turned, pinning the boy that had not moved. The other two looked at her, standing.

“Trouble!” Merisa screamed.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-07-2008, 09:17 PM   #42
Litofsky
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An interesting start, Mach. I like how Zakal will willingly sacrifice herself to help save the others- it speaks volumes about the values of (her) culture. I am curious: is Merisa wearing any armor, other than her helmet? It would seem an odd appearance, to be walking with a Mandalorian helmet without the equally intimidating armor.

Overall, a very nice chapter! I look forward to more.
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Old 11-07-2008, 09:58 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Litofsky View Post
An interesting start, Mach. I like how Zakal will willingly sacrifice herself to help save the others- it speaks volumes about the values of (her) culture. I am curious: is Merisa wearing any armor, other than her helmet? It would seem an odd appearance, to be walking with a Mandalorian helmet without the equally intimidating armor.

Overall, a very nice chapter! I look forward to more.
I hadn't changed any armor to fit her, so yeah, she's running around in a helmet and gun belt.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-07-2008, 10:45 PM   #44
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Excellent story so far, Mach! Post the next part soon!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 11-07-2008, 11:30 PM   #45
Endorenna
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I'm really liking this story so far! I second CQ's motion! Poor Merissa...looks like she's about to be caught in a very nasty situation.


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 11-08-2008, 04:20 AM   #46
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Merisa is such a steely little girl! I like how she was imagining what the helmet would feel like and ended up concluding that it was uncomfortable. The various functions of the helmet is something that never occurred to me at all, and as is usual with your writing, makes sense. I wonder why the Mandolorians trust her so unreservedly, in contrast with the older boys. By implication in your fic, it would because the government agents did not want them to take her, but perhaps there is more to it? A few mistakes here and there, but nothing major. Well done!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 11-08-2008, 03:17 PM   #47
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"Uncomfortable is what it was." *LOL*!!! I loved that line--a bit of humor in a dark tale.

Uncomfortable is also what everyone in the story will be in the next chapter, seeing as how some of the children responded to the Government fighters' command...
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Old 11-10-2008, 01:53 AM   #48
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Today

The children stared at her. She had not told this since before they were born. Kiara, who had only heard it once swelled with pride. To be named after her grandmother. Her own children five and three looked at her. The woman raised her cup to her mother. “Please, continue, mother.”

*****

Fifty years earlier:

Merisa stared as the boys, each larger and heavier than her advanced with blank eyes. A calm voice, Zakal answered. “Report.”

“Three of the boys have gone crazy!”

“Not crazy. Controlled.” The calming voice answered. “Use the Church tongue, stop them.”

Merisa backed, her gun in her hand, but they were kids like herself. One of them wrapped his arms around her, and she kicked frantically as he lifted her from her feet. She frantically tried to remember as the third boy started to push past. She knew if he stepped outside, the Mando’a would kill him!

Shtoia!” She screamed. They froze. “Let go let go let go!” The boy holding her dropped her on her butt. The girl gasped as they continued to stand there. “Zakal, they stopped.”

“Good. Now repeat what I say.”

Merisa looked at them, then repeated. “You will hear my voice only. Except for me you will hear only to those I say to listen to.” As she spoke, one of the guards from outside came in pressing two pairs of restraints into her hands. She looked up at the Mando’a warrior, and could hear a chuckle at her predicament as she stood. She took the restraints, the cuffs popping open.

“What about him?” The guard asked.

She looked at the boy. Slim, dark hair, dark complexion, nicely dressed. “Cosioli.” She said.

“Aren’t they of the group that is not of your religion?” Zakal asked over her headphones.

“Yes.”

“They do not speak the church cant. Perhaps they did not think of this.” Zakal mused. “Merisa, say the words in Basic.”

She looked at the boy, staring around in shock. You hear. Hear and obey.” The boy had turned toward her, and as she finished the phrase his head slowed, looking at her with a blank expression. Her heart sank. “He is like the others.”

“Then we must bind them.”

“You come here.” Merisa ordered. She was surprised when the curtain of her area opened and four others, the youngest five came out to join them. The guard went back out getting more restraints.

“Put out your hands.” She ordered. As they did, she watched the Mando who bound the younger children, and followed the example. She locked one cuff to a boy’s right wrist, then fed the second pair of cuffs through the open cuff she locked on the second boy’s wrist. The third boy after being ordered to stand walked over and she locked the cuff on his wrist then locked the other. The guard nodded stepping outside. Inside her ‘bucket’, she could hear as the plan began.

Raeder sneered at the rented troops. Of course soon they would be true believers. The mercenaries had sat silently until about an hour ago, then suddenly all of them had changed out their magazines. He hadn’t worried about that, they did that kind of thing oc-

The mercenaries turned, and Raeder had an instant to worry before he and all of his men in the troop compartment were dead.

“Sakil, go!” Shoji snapped. The young man moved toward the front of the shuttle, his weapon aimed at the flight crew.

“Move and you die.” The man snarled. The copilot tried for his sidearm and a burst ripped him apart. Sakil turned in back to the pilot. “Want to try?” The pilot shook his head frantically.

The Mando walked forward, pulling the body from the right hand seat as another Mando came up to the door, He set down his rifle, adjusting the seat until it was comfortable. He grasped the yoke. “My craft.” He said.

“What?” The local said, then froze as the barrel of a rifle tapped him.

“Get up.” The pilot slid his seat back, hands up once the seat had been retracted. The mercenary didn’t bother giving an order, he merely caught the man’s collar and dragged him to his feet. The pilot was flung back toward the troop compartment, his knees scraping through the offal of other men before someone caught him. He saw the bodies of a dozen of his fellows and began to scream.

“Oh shut up.” The man who held him slammed him into a frame, and the pilot went limp. He was cuffed and thrown into the rear of the compartment.

Sakil tested the controls before keying his com. “Zakal, we have it.”

“Good.” The woman purred. “There is a Coruscanti freighter at 250 degrees from your present position. Slanar!”

Approximately 200 kilometers west, another shuttle turned, diving toward the planet.

The troops surrounding the cantonment began deploying. They looked smart in their grey uniforms, but there was a stiffness in their movement. Berek watched, his tongue shifting from local to all hands. “They are getting ready to attack.” He reported.

“Slow them down, but retreat before they get to the fence.” Zakal ordered.

The young man nodded to himself then tongued to local again. “First squad one magazine single fire, make them count. On my mark.”

The troops outside had formed up and begun moving forward with vehicles spaced between the companies to supply supporting fire. Berek sighed, setting the targeting caret on the glacis of the approaching command vehicle. He paused as they approached to three hundred meters. “tracyn.

One moment silence, then from the perimeter of the Mando encampment fire blasted into them. The vehicle Berek had chosen exploded, shrapnel scything through the troops deployed around it. He chose another then another, burning through half a dozen vehicles before his magazine dropped free. He slapped in another, sweeping through the troops before him as he marked and dealt destruction.

He listened as one by one the other half dozen in his squad reported clearing a magazine. He looked at the enemy as they began charging. “One magazine, fire at will!” He stood from his hide, moving back. His helmet marked the targets he serviced as the local trees cut off his own view. The men fired, then without a command moved backwards as the enemy started to return fire.

“Hold at the tree line!” He ordered. His squad dropped back, reloading, then began to engage the enemy as they closed on the fence. They had lost perhaps 500 men just here, but they marched forward stolidly, advancing into the fire with mindless intensity.

Ruus'alor!” Shift to local frequency!” One of his scouts called as the fire intensified. Berek tapped the tongue switch as he fired the last round into a vehicle still trying to push forward.

“Stop shooting, God wants them alive! Advance, capture the infidel that we may teach them god’s will!” A strident voice screamed.

“Triangulate.” Berek ordered. “Zilos.” He lifted an arm, pointing to the left, then snapped his finger up. “Find a spot, let’s see if we can shut the preacher up.” He watched as the enemy approached. He tapped the main push. “They’re at the fence. We’re just in the trees.”

“Good. All units, blow mine sections at your discretion.”

“Thank you.” Berek whispered. He keyed in a sequence, and as the enemy continued marching forward, suddenly the ground erupted with death.

To Berek’s left, Zilos almost leaped up the tree, even as a young child he had enjoyed climbing. He was ten meters from the ground when he stopped. The sniper rifle’s stock snapped down, and he leaned into the trunk. The helmet used other helmets, all of them directed his eyes toward a point 504 meters from his stand.

There was a small group of men there, most of them the same as the men walking into the camp even as fire ripped them apart who were blown into mist by mines, who still did not fire for they were told not to.

He brought the rifle up, seeing a fanatic’s face in the scope raising a com link. “Adv-” his finger stroked the trigger, and the man’s head exploded.

“About time you shut up.” He whispered, dropping down the tree. A form shot toward them, a shuttle coming from the south at high speed. Inside his bucket the young man grinned. Soon they would be out… or dead.

“Merisa, move the other children toward the landing field.” Zakal ordered.

Merisa went to the small curtained area where the other children cringed at the crack of projectile weapons, and the zip blam of blasters. “All of you come on. We have to get to the landing field.” She began pulling them to their feet, chivvying them out into the open.

The line of trees that surrounded the actual camp were thick enough that only brief flashes of light came from the enemy, but there was screaming and the children looked around terrified. The guards surround them, pushing them forward as Merisa led the way. A shuttle passed over them at high speed, and dropped in, ramp coming down. Mando warriors poured out, throwing what she suddenly realized were bodies aside.

“We have room for the children and maybe ten or fifteen more.” One of the men shouted.

The children were shoved up the ramp, and Merisa sat them, making sure they were strapped in. A dozen wounded were shoved aboard as the ones who had been aboard helped them.

“Ciara?”

“I’m waiting for the next shuttle.” Merisa heard in her ear. “We have to hold them.”

“Ciara, mother-”

“If it is my time, I die.” She flinched at the cool voice. “Go, be safe my children. I love you both.”

She felt bitter tears stream down her face. She had lost her family, she was losing this one too. Zakal would not survive. The ramp started to come up, and she ran toward it.

“Sister!” Canderous wailed. She leaped to the ground, running toward the tent where Zakal directed the battle.

“All front units, fall back through the trees.” Zakal ordered. Berek whistled, and his men fell back through the 20 meter thick line of trees. The ran on another ten, stopping just before the tents, kneeling. They had taken a toll, According to the estimates of the other squads over five thousand enemy were dead.

That left only about 11,000 to go.

“Movement.” Someone reported. For a moment nothing happened. Then ribbons of fire shot though the entire stand from end to end too fast to follow. For a moment nothing happened. Then every tree fell over, crushing men beneath them.

“You have to admit, she has style.” one of his men said.

“She does that.” Berek agreed. “Why isn’t she married?”

“She’s landuur.” Another snorted.

“If you can out think her, you can talk.” Berek snarled. “If you judge a woman only by how much she can lift or the thickness of her thighs you don’t know what strength is.” He lifted his weapon. “Seems not everyone was stopped by that.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-10-2008, 09:31 AM   #49
Endorenna
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I like your battle sequences a lot, Mach. They seem to be well thought out, and they're well executed. Where are you getting all your Mando'a? I can't find some of the words on Wookiepedia.


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 11-10-2008, 05:25 PM   #50
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Very well done, Mach. Out of curiosity, the Mandalorians have no ships in orbit, and, as such, are taking only the captured shuttle to escape?

It should also seem that the Government is a Theocracy, rather than a dictatorship. I also like the Mandalorians' cohesion is spectacular. I'm surprised that they wouldn't have snipers in the trees to begin with?

Overall, there were a few grammatical errors (there needs to be a quotation mark in the sentence 'You hear. Hear and Obey'), but otherwise a good chapter.
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Old 11-11-2008, 12:14 AM   #51
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Very well done, Mach. Out of curiosity, the Mandalorians have no ships in orbit, and, as such, are taking only the captured shuttle to escape?

It should also seem that the Government is a Theocracy, rather than a dictatorship. I also like the Mandalorians' cohesion is spectacular. I'm surprised that they wouldn't have snipers in the trees to begin with?

Overall, there were a few grammatical errors (there needs to be a quotation mark in the sentence 'You hear. Hear and Obey'), but otherwise a good chapter.
The escape plan will be explained in the next section. As for not having snipers in the trees, I didn't primarily because just sitting up there might get them caught in what is happening.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-11-2008, 12:16 AM   #52
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I like your battle sequences a lot, Mach. They seem to be well thought out, and they're well executed. Where are you getting all your Mando'a? I can't find some of the words on Wookiepedia.
SOme I had to create because the mando'a dictionary I have so far doesn't have a word for 'duck'

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The escape plan will be explained in the next section. As for not having snipers in the trees, I didn't primarily because just sitting up there might get them caught in what is happening.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-11-2008, 10:43 PM   #53
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*Applauds loudly* Where did you get your Mando'a dictionary, anyway?
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Old 11-11-2008, 10:50 PM   #54
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Yes, very nice job so far Mach!

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Old 11-12-2008, 12:46 AM   #55
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*Applauds loudly* Where did you get your Mando'a dictionary, anyway?
Someone in the expert's forum listed one, which is a list of words from the first Republic Commando book. There is also Mando 101 and Mandalorian language


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-12-2008, 01:22 AM   #56
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Zakal? Weakling?

Phhht. She could probably take that guy apart with one hand tied behind her back.


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 11-13-2008, 12:03 AM   #57
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Zakal? Weakling?

Phhht. She could probably take that guy apart with one hand tied behind her back.

That was what I was going for, kid. She may be physically weaker, but no one on either side of the conflict is within shouting distance when it comes to intelligence and as you will soon discover, guile.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-13-2008, 02:03 AM   #58
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Writing can be interesting, especially when you're in my head when it happens.

You see; Zakal has at the moment, the most dangerous job in a fighting retreat. In fact I had to change one scene in the next section because of two people, Merisa and Berek.

I had it blocked out, Zakal getting the info from the enemy, fighting and dying in that tent. She was actually accepting of this, primarily because if you think about it, it's a very Mandalorian way to die.

Next thing I know, Merisa jumps off the shuttle. I was thinking 'What the eff'?

So I suddenly got the writer's equivalent of the Ghosts of Christmas from A Christmas Carol. Merisa as past, saying, 'But I like Zakal! And you're killing her off, you meanie!'

Then Berek as Christmas Present saying 'Hey, you decided I like her and she dies before... you know? No way!'

Then Zakal who merely smiled and said, 'Besides, I'm too much fun to just kill off, right?'

So I had to create an entire chunk you will not see until the next section to explain how they got out alive.

Oh, in case you're wondering, the plan the Mandalorians are using is based on an actual historical incident. In November of 1981, 42 mercenaries under the command of the Famous Mike (Mad Mike) Hoare arrived in the Seychelle Islands intending to take out the premier of the socialist country and install a democratic government.

However fate or an idiot mercenary intervened. One of them brought something that alerted the rather lacksadaisical customs officers that something wasn't right, causing the alarm to be raised. With all of their heavy weapons packed in crates, Hoare and company were outnumbered and outgunned.

Taking their weapons from enemy troops, they had to retreat. They did so by hijacking an airplane that was about to take off and escaped.

However it did not end well. Hoare ended up with a ten year prison sentence, and the others recieved lesser sentences, their passports taken away so they were unable to leave South Africa again.

Let's hope the Mando do better, eh?


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile

Last edited by machievelli; 11-13-2008 at 11:45 AM. Reason: mispelling
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Old 11-13-2008, 11:46 AM   #59
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Merisa ran to tent where Zakal was. The forest was just… gone. It lay like an idle game of pick up sticks being played by the gods. There was no one in sight but the other Mando, and she almost shouted in relief, but the cry died as she saw half a dozen men in enemy uniform breaking cover, using Zakal’s tent as cover to run forward. She screamed Zakal’s name as she burst through the tent flap.

Zakal looked up, eyes widening at the pint sized girl with the bucket on her head burst in, drawing her gun. “There are men heading here now!”

Zakal sighed. “I knew that, little sister. I wanted some answers, and I knew they would come for me of all of us.” She waved. “Leave the gun in the holster, and wait.”

Berek head the scream, spinning to see the last of the men running into the tent. He leaped up, running toward the tent. He knew he’d be too late.

The men burst in. They weren’t moving with the droid like movements of the others. These moved like soldiers. One of them sneered at Zakal. “Well met, infidel.” He pulled a set of cuffs from his belt. “Welcome to the service of god.”

“What I do not understand is why you needed us.” Zakal leaned on the table, idly playing with the laser pointer on her desk. “You world is what, thirty hours transit from Mando’yaim. We’re close enough to hire if you need us.”

“We need true believers, not scum.” He snarled. “Three weeks of eating our food would have made you one with god.”

“I had figured that out. Your insistence made sure we would not, though.”

“Soon enough you will.” The man said as if it was as sure as the sun rising. “When you have embraced god we would have had you bring more, and take our food there. Your home world would have joined us willing, marching in the fore to lead the righteous to their destiny, and control of the Galaxy.”

Zakal sighed, picking up the laser pointer. “Such a pathetic plan. Listen I would really like to explain why it won’t work, but I am busy. Now I must warn you I have a laser, so just let us go and you can go back to your fantasy, all right?”

Berek kept running. He was almost to the tent when suddenly a laser beam punched through tent and began sweeping toward him! He dived, the beam passing over his head before it died out. “Zakal!” He screamed. He leaped to his feet running to the tent, peering through the opening caused by the sections that had been cut.

Zakal sat at her desk, a laser pointer in her hand. She tossed it aside as it began to smoke, rubbing the blisters on her hand. “What are you doing here?” She demanded.

Berek was stunned, but replied, “Well it’s believed that the old gods took smoke fire blood and steel from a battle, and made the first warriors of our race.”

Zakal stared at him as if he’d grown two heads. Before she spoke Merisa replied. “Odd. In the Book of the way it is
said that god took river mud and the blood from his own hands to make us.”

Zakal put her hands on the desk, bringing her head down with an audible thump. The manner suggested that she had wanted to slam it down hard enough to shatter, but didn’t have time. “What I meant,” she asked dangerously, “was why you, squad leader are here, not with your men.”

“The enemy has paused to think. I considered we weren’t done with you as our coordinator, so I decided to relocate you inside the perimeter.”

She gave him an appraising look. “Such long words.” She looked at Merisa. “And you?”

There was a tooth rattling hum, and the back of the tent fell. Ciara stormed through like a war goddess. She stopped, putting away her vibro-sword as she stalked forward. “Yes, Daughter, mine? I would really like to know why you are here instead of aboard the shuttle safe. Well?”

“I thought about Zakal being here, and didn’t want to see her die. So I came to help.” Merisa said in a tiny voice.

“Repeat that sentence starting with ‘I did not think’, and stop after that.” Ciara snarled. Merisa did as she was bid. The armored hand tightened into a fist, as if she were resisting the urge to punch the child, then extended and a single finger flicked out thumping the girl’s helmet. It would have a hurt a bit if she had not had the helmet, but as with any such punishment, it was more embarrassing than painful. “What good does a bucket do you if you don’t use your brain?”

“Ciara, I love your teaching style, but we do not have the time.” Zakal commented. “But they are not going to stand around stupid for long.” She looked at Berek. “So is there a brain in that bucket, Squad leader? How do you move my chair fast?”

Berek slung his rifle, slid an arm under the woman’s knees, another behind her shoulders and lifted her.

“What about my chair, you Di’Kut?” She snarled.

“I’ll buy you another.” He snapped. Now shut up, we’re rescuing you.”

Zakal looked at him, then looked down grinning shyly. “Such a sweet talker!” She looked to Ciara. “Neither Merisa or I have a rifle, so if you would, please?”

Berek ran from the tent carrying the woman. A moment later Merisa ran out carrying the belts of the dead men with their bandoliers, Ciara pacing her with two of the local rifles. They reached the others, and Zakal tapped a sequence on her pad. With almost silent thumps all of the tents collapsed, leaving clear fields of fire.

Ciara showed the girl how to work the action of one of the rifles, and Merisa slung three belts of ammunition on herself. Zakal worked the action a with professional manner, then slung her own ammo. They actually had more than their compatriots. Still the enemy had not yet come.

“What are they waiting for?” A man near them asked. “There are enough of them to walk in and beat us to death with rocks!”

“They are trying to figure out what went wrong.” Zakal said, the rifle snapping down to point. “They’re typical politicians and civilians. To a civilian a warrior is nothing more than a programmed man who goes and dies for the government, and the government thinks that soldiers obey out of love of the government.

“So throwing 16,000 men against 80 is simple numbers. But we proved that wrong with 60 to one casualties when they thought they could ‘walk in’ and take us. Now they are reconsidering. Perhaps someone on their own side is bright enough to think of other ways, but they will have to move fast. Shoji is commandeering space on a Coruscanti ship as we speak, but we have to hold until he is done.”

The time stretched. Men were moving closer, the makeshift abatis was slowing the enemy advance, but no one had passed beyond it yet, a sign that someone on the other side was thinking. The enemy had learned from the attempts to use loudspeakers or comlinks to pass orders that all it had done was give the snipers targets, so there was nothing there to be heard. Using thermal and sonic imaging, they knew almost 4,000 men were now just beyond the first section of tree trunks.

All of the older warriors grew grim. War is the most Darwinian of processes. Those who survived were the ones who were lucky enough to have lived long enough to learn what not to do. Their enemy, even if they were arm chair warriors were getting a crash course.

The fifty-five men women and one girl in the circle prepared for the fight of their lives.

The shuttle had not yet reported that they were coming. There were now almost 6,000 men hiding inside the abatis. “If they had a brain, they’d try both smoke and stun grenades together.” Zakal mused. “It wouldn’t hurt you in the Beskargam, but Merisa and I would be discommoded. And the smoke would slow you down a bit, allowing them a chance to slip closer.

“Of course we can hope they stay stupid.”

Almost as she finished there were thumps as grenade launchers began firing. Hundreds of grenades began to fall among the Mando. Berek dived at the same moment Ciara did, each tackling someone. Merisa felt the pulses of concussion as the helmet automatically blocked out the flashes that would had knocked her into confusion. To the side Berek lay protecting Zakal, who had been intelligent enough to close her eyes, even though she was reeling. She looked up, her hand resting against his cheek.

“Berek, you’re so… heavy.”

“Get ready!” Ciara screamed, rolling away from Merisa, rifle up as almost a thousand of the enemy troops leaped the last tree trunks, running toward them. The guns barked, ripping into the enemy troops. The last of them collapsed less than five meters from them.

“Stupid.” Zakal shook her head. “But that means smoke next.”

She was wrong, but only because the enemy was learning faster than she had anticipated. Smoke grenades began to fall around them, and the warriors switched to thermal imaging as the enemy sent in not a thousand but two thousand. The smoke slowed their fire, but not by much. But as they passed 30 meters suddenly there was another flurry of stun grenades. As they began another wave of thousands began to run forward.

Merisa aimed, her helmet setting the caret and she squeezed the trigger, the unseen enemy falling. She ignored him switching to another. She had just shot him when a stun grenade landed beside her. She felt the concussion knocking her from her feet, staring into the sky as a shape like a raptor bird suddenly shot over her head.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:29 PM   #60
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bumped it because I drove it half way down the page trying to clear up where I need to go back to work as the critic. sorry guys


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-13-2008, 09:16 PM   #61
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Great chapter, Mach!

I think I'm echoing myself...but still, great chapter! I love battle scenes! (That was great with the laser)


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 11-13-2008, 09:22 PM   #62
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Great chapter, Mach!

I think I'm echoing myself...but still, great chapter! I love battle scenes! (That was great with the laser)
Remember what I said about guile? The girl is someone that if she had been hale would have been James Bond instead of Sir Francis Walsingham. So I made her a nice toy and even used a bondesque line before. After all, she did warn them...


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:37 AM   #63
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Excellent Chapter, Mach!! The Action scenes are awesome!!!!!!!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:20 PM   #64
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You changed Kiara's name to Ciara ;D Very nice, and it's amazing to see Zakal's tactics in play! The government obviously has a very high opinion of Mando'a strength (I mean, 16000 against 80? O_O), and it's apparently for good reason. It's a little odd how they wised up so abruptly after springing all the traps and taking casualties, but you could say that they've killed all the dumb ones in the chain of command;o As always, well done. There's some missing punctuation, and a couple of sentences that are kinda confusing, so I'll have to use your own advice on you Polish!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 11-14-2008, 05:24 PM   #65
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You changed Kiara's name to Ciara ;D Very nice, and it's amazing to see Zakal's tactics in play! The government obviously has a very high opinion of Mando'a strength (I mean, 16000 against 80? O_O), and it's apparently for good reason. It's a little odd how they wised up so abruptly after springing all the traps and taking casualties, but you could say that they've killed all the dumb ones in the chain of command;o As always, well done. There's some missing punctuation, and a couple of sentences that are kinda confusing, so I'll have to use your own advice on you Polish!
As for the name change, all I have to say is... oops.

And the problem as Zakal said, is some people are stupid enough to believe numbers are the most important factor. Both the Chinese in Korea and the Soviet Russians during WWII used human wave attacks 'knowing' that as Stalin said, 'quantity has a quality all it's own'. They obviously thought 'We have a division, they have a light company... We'll roll right over them before they can do anything' which is that argument personified. Look at Thermoplae with 6000 Greeks led by 300 Spartans. Who do you think was going to win? The truth is the bigger battalions did win, but it took them three days to push them out of the way.

Anyone who believes that should have said the Coalition that went into Iraq either time were going to lose automatically because the Iraqis had 16 divisions the first time (Against 3 divisions and an armored Cav Regiment) and 11 the second (Against Three US Divisions and One British Brigade).

As for how they wised up, that was a mistake the Mando made, which will be explained shortly.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile

Last edited by machievelli; 11-14-2008 at 05:26 PM. Reason: forgot to say something...
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Old 11-14-2008, 08:47 PM   #66
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Very nice addition, Mach (missed it due to the reviews of the ancient threads )! The descriptions of the fight itself were very nice, especially the final holding action. I'm not surprised that the Mandalorians are doing that well, but the skirmish was more of a slaughter than it was a fight.

At any rate, nice job! As Bee mentioned, there were a few punctuation errors, but otherwise a great chapter. Keep up the good work.
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Old 11-14-2008, 08:59 PM   #67
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*Cheers for Zakal and worries for Merisa* Come on, guys! Make the enemy one with god!
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Old 11-15-2008, 01:12 AM   #68
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Very nice addition, Mach (missed it due to the reviews of the ancient threads )! The descriptions of the fight itself were very nice, especially the final holding action. I'm not surprised that the Mandalorians are doing that well, but the skirmish was more of a slaughter than it was a fight.

At any rate, nice job! As Bee mentioned, there were a few punctuation errors, but otherwise a great chapter. Keep up the good work.
As much as politicians think it will work 'shooting to wound' is not a good idea. So it would be smart to use some way to disable at a distance but the enemy isn't that bright obviously.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-18-2008, 12:51 AM   #69
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Today

Merisa looked around the circle. It was custom to look first to the elders, but she ignored that. This was for the young, those who were in training. They had not yet gone through the first battle. The Elders had been through this already, knew the answers. She paused, waiting until it became unbearable.

One of the young ones asked the question she had been waiting for. “But what could they do?”

Merisa smiled. The first time she had told this tale one of the young had come up with the question within seconds. But she had been one of them and those ‘older and wiser’ than her had complained.

“They had two choices.” Merisa told them. “Fight or surrender. What will you do when it is your time?” She looked around the chastened young. “As I chose.”

*****

Fifty years before.

“I’m out!” Someone screamed, dropping his rifle as he drew his beskad, readying himself for the fight to come. One by one others did the same. The first rush had been blunted by mines and grenades. The most recent rush however had used up the grenades, and now was running through their ammunition like sand through an hourglass. Even the most careful had less than two magazines left. Berek dropped his heavy weapon, grabbing the rifle Zakal had brought. An inferior weapon, but at least something better than a beskad when it came to range.

And we didn’t bring more grenades because they were hoping to capture their enemies. Like us…

He was worried about the blood that ran from Zakal’s ears and nose. The enemy may want them alive, but didn’t seem to care about the condition. He turned, the Bucket as efficient with this weapon as any other as he screamed. “Hold what you’ve got!”

The ammunition ran down as they kept servicing targets. More and more called empty, and as the fire slackened, more of the enemy got closer. They would be close enough to hold down the Mando in minutes.

“Be ready! Death or glory!” Berek called. The closest thing the Mando had to ‘don’t let yourself be captured‘.

Suddenly another voice cut in. “Mando! Voor’shi!

Everyone dived for cover instinctively. A second later fire walked through the enemy troops as fighter cannon blasted them into gobbets. Then two white shapes passing at the speed of heat lifted over the buildings in the distance and were gone. Before they disappeared, red patterns could be seen on the ventral wings.

A few moments later grenades began to drop into the section not already blown clear by fighter cannon. A shuttle dropped toward them, spinning to reveal an open door and an empty cargo bay.

*****

Merisa could see, but didn’t really understand. She saw a helmet above her, knew somehow that it was a friend and family. The woman’s voice kept speaking, but she didn’t understand.

*****

There was room for almost 40, but there was room for more if they packed in like cattle. Only two people, the worst wounded were guaranteed a seat. The Mando were pragmatic.

They packed. Zakal and Merisa were strapped in, and the other fifteen people without seats grabbed onto whatever they could. “Go!” Kiara screamed.

The shuttle lifted, staggering under the overload. Berek had shoved his way to the front as they lifted, a Mando at the controls waved in a jaunty manner. “Too busy to talk; the enemy called up reinforcements.”

On the sensor screen Berek could see fighters closing from in front, weapons hot. “Chaff and flares!” He ordered.

“A great idea if those Di’Kut had added them.” The pilot said blandly. “But no one bothered to ask us.” On the screen the enemy fighter had finished their hairpin turn and were coming back. They were closing at an alarming rate.

“Are you just going to ignore them?” Berek shouted.

“Orders.” The pilot said. Blasts were causing the shuttle to shudder and rock as it was buffeted by the thermal bloom. “Because if we change course-”

There was a screaming sound as two white fighters passed so close Berek was sure he could have read their numbers, if they had any.

“-they might run into us.”

The fighter’s laser cannon raved and the half dozen enemy atmospheric fighters dropped to only one in less time than he had expected. The shuttle cleared the atmosphere, headed toward a ship now in low orbit.

The shuttle landed, men gratefully finding more space in the landing bay. The crew was conspicuously absent. A few moments later one of the fighters that had covered their retreat slid through the mono-directional force field, cannon smoking as it settled to the deck. A moment later the other ship landed.

The Mando readied what weapons they had left as the cockpits opened. A man stood in the cockpit of the first fighter, a moment later his motions were duplicated in the second fighter. Both men dropped to the deck, moving with the ease of predatory beasts. They stopped, close enough to be fired on, but not close enough to fight hand to hand.

“Mando, I bid you welcome.” The older of the two men, a man with striking features and black slick hair said. “My name is Kun, Jedi Knight.”

*****

Merisa remembered hands taking her to lay her on something soft. Then suddenly her eyes opened. The first thing she realized was that the stylized symbols of her HUD were gone. She was seeing with her eyes. A figure in a chair lay against the bed as if she had fallen asleep waiting. Merisa reached out, touching the silken hair.

“Kiara.” She whispered.

The woman flinched, then leaned back, yawning. “So you’re awake?” She asked. “Too stupid to listen, but you lived through it.” She leaned back, stretching. “So what have you learned, my daughter? Will you be a warrior or only a citizen of our world?”

Merisa considered it. Being assigned to guard the other children, which still left her questions she wished answered. Trying to save Zakal then the frantic defense against hordes of men. “I have never felt so terrified, unsure or alive, mother.” She admitted. “I wish to learn if I can be as strong as you or Zakal. If I can go to fight.”

Kiara grinned ruffling her hair. “If you’re feeling better we can visit Zakal.”

“Oh please?”

It took moments to find the Coruscanti doctor, and get permission for the girl to go down the passageway with her mother. Zakal lay in her own bed, Berek held her hand and she looked from his face, and grinned. “Up and about little sister?”

“Yes.” Merisa looked down then up.

“I think you have questions for me, little one. Ask.”

“Why were you willing to trust me?” She asked bluntly.

“Water.”
“Water?” Merisa stared at her. “Why is water so important?”

“Little one, the government began treating the water for the cities four years ago. Over time they reduced the people to a very suggestive state. Then they used subliminal signals to train the people of your world to be slaves to their vision of god. It didn’t work completely. Your father among others figured out what was happening, and went into hiding. The Government ignored them.

“As they began to gain control, they spread to processed food, snacks, prepared meals, drinks. Your family was the only one during our raids that had nothing of that sort. Your mother had flour from grain grown on your own land or freshly bought still un-ground. Milk from your own herd who drank water from the streams or well and ate the native vegetation. Eggs of your own birds, fed with the same grain you ground for flour, all untainted.

“But the government hit a problem. Your father was not the only one free. Some of the others were older military men, and they were able to hold off their feeble attempts. You see, when you have soldiers, you need more than blind obedience to orders. You need men who can use their initiative.

“So they needed proper soldiers. Soldiers untainted by their poisons. They needed us.”

“Very good.” They looked at the man who came in. He was dark skinned lithe, and tall. He wore long flowing robe Merisa had never seen before. “I should mention, Zakal, that your head set was still transmitting when you gave your discourse on what they should do. Your enemy learned what they needed to do to succeed, albeit too late.

“Jettiise.” Zakal nodded toward him. “I think we have you to thank for our survival?”

The man chuckled. “No. Most of you would have gotten out without our assistance. But the Coruscanti government might not have let you go.” He cocked his head. “According to the Karenti Authorities, you fired into the men intended to keep you from interacting with the locals. When they moved in to subdue you, you brutally killed an estimated 7,000 of them with massive firepower greater than your contract stipulates. You also seem to have stolen two prototype snub fighters to aid in your escape.” He smiled at the reference to the Jedi snub fighters.

“They demand return of all of you for trial, return of their stolen fighters, and repatriation of the children ‘kidnapped’ by you.” He motioned toward Merisa. “Whom they feel to be brainwashed.”

“How self serving.” Zakal commented dryly. “Did they mention using chemicals to program their own people?”

“That did slip their minds, obviously.” The Jedi took a seat. “Now what shall we do with you?”

“Do?” Berek stood. He towered over the slim Jedi by half a meter.

The man looked up at him. “Calm yourself vode.” The Jedi looked back to Zakal. “The government of Karenta has been informed that you were acting on their violation of the contract and as such are not criminals. We pointed out that forcing you to eat their food was not part of the original contract. That adoption of survivors was negotiated as an addendum to the contract, and not negotiable.

“We also pointed out that snub fighters belonging to the Republic Judiciary department were not theirs to seize.” He looked around. Then leaned forward, chin on his cupped hands. “Now that all of that has been taken care of, what are we to do with you?”


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-18-2008, 04:49 PM   #70
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Very nice chapter, Mach. I'm very glad that the government's methods have finally been explained, and, as it seems, that the Mandalorians are finally free from "Karenta," which seems to be the planet.

Also, it seemed that the "water" reference was never explained (or was that just me)? Zakal mentioned the government's treachery, but never why water was so important (aside from not being in Merisa's water, which would've made Merisa...) Never mind.

All in all, a very interesting chapter, Mach.
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:31 AM   #71
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Very nice chapter, Mach. I'm very glad that the government's methods have finally been explained, and, as it seems, that the Mandalorians are finally free from "Karenta," which seems to be the planet.

Also, it seemed that the "water" reference was never explained (or was that just me)? Zakal mentioned the government's treachery, but never why water was so important (aside from not being in Merisa's water, which would've made Merisa...) Never mind.

All in all, a very interesting chapter, Mach.
The primary ingredient in 90 percent of cooking is water. a chemical can be added to water, which can then be given to animals to impregnate their tissues with the chemical, or used to irrigate croplands, or to be drunk by humans in the course of a day. We already have this in modern american or English drinking water with fluoridation, which strengthens teeth as an example of a benign version.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile

Last edited by machievelli; 11-20-2008 at 04:24 AM.
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:42 AM   #72
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The primary ingredient in 90 percent of cooking is water. a chemical can be added to water, which can then be given to animals to impregnate their tissues with the chemical, or used to irrigate croplands, or to be drunk by humans in the course of a day. We already have this in modern american or English drinking water with fluoridation, which strengthens teeth as an example of a benign version.
All I have to say is...


Dr. Strangelove...
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Old 11-20-2008, 11:43 AM   #73
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All I have to say is...


Dr. Strangelove...


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-20-2008, 08:37 PM   #74
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Absolutely chilling--and absolutely brilliant. Five stars on this latest chapter!
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Old 11-20-2008, 09:05 PM   #75
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Absolutely chilling--and absolutely brilliant. Five stars on this latest chapter!
Thanks Tys. My only question to you among others is...

I intend to jump right to the Mandalorian Wars next. Shall I continue? I see I've had almost 900 hits, so let's get maybe four answers?


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 11-20-2008, 09:43 PM   #76
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"Shall you continue?" Is that even a question, Mach? How could you even contemplate not continuing this story? Not continuing would be a travesty!
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:14 PM   #77
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The way you're going you must do the Mandalorian Wars!! It is the only way to please the fan base!! If you don't we will tar and feather you {well, not literally anyway}.


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:29 PM   #78
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Third answer: If you don't continue to the Mandalorian Wars, I will misspell every single word in my next Umbral Tide fic and still ask you to review it!!!
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Old 11-21-2008, 01:26 AM   #79
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I'll do the same with my fic! And I'll make it a fifty-page chapter!

Then you'll have a true on your hands!

Just a warning.


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 11-21-2008, 01:34 AM   #80
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The answers are upon you, Mach. That and numerous threats of ever annoying reviews and tar and feathering!!! THE PUBLIC DEMANDS MORE!!

This is the CQBC on Coruscant....


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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