The What if game

[Darth Avlectus]

I guess it'd be time to Rush to breakfast. (pun intended)

What if the Sith Emperor never dies (even though you killed him physically)?

[purifier]

Sounds like he may have cloning down to a science.






What if all jackasses in the U.S.A. attempted to form a party in government, would they have to adopt another party symbol since the jackass symbol is already taken by another party?

[Totenkopf]

What do you mean "what if"? Haven't they already?!?

What if Ron Paul actually became the next American president?

[Alkonium]

Could be worse, I guess. We seem to have more nutjobs this time around.

What if Vermin Supreme became the next American president?

[purifier]

Then he would be the supreme jackass and I would get a pony.

Originally Posted by Totenkopf

What do you mean "what if"? Haven't they already?!?

Lol...that was so easy wasn't it? BTW, that's the #1 reply to that question.



What if Vermin Supreme exchange his boot hat, after becoming president, for a "Cat in the Hat" hat and spoke/wrote everything in ryhmes?

By decree of Vermin Supreme:
Everyone shall brush their teeth by law,
especially each and every jaw.
I like this bill,
approve it I will.

[Totenkopf]

He'd have a successful post-WH career in hip-hop.

@purifier--

What if instead of a pony he promised everyone a baby dragon?

[Darth Avlectus]

I would hope in that case for an Orligon hatchling.

What if I was the new sith emperor?

[purifier]

Well then...I guess I'd become a Chinese Jet pilot.




What if your favorite car was stolen, yet some years later you see the exact make and year model, but with a different and better color, that you happen to steal on impulse. But by irony, that vehicle turns out to be your orignal vehicle that was stolen from you and they just painted over the orignal color, would you be morally correct of stealing it in the first place?

[Darth Avlectus]

If it was still in the possession of the arsehole who stole it from you originally, then no because you're taking back what was yours to begin with. If it changed hands since then...you might be better off getting the V.I.N., comparing it to your own and going through proper channels to get it back; this may have failed before but it wouldn't fail now if you had evidence to prove it.

What if you made your TOR females ugly on purpose?

[Totenkopf]

You'd be a contrarian geek.

What if your money were worthless?

[Darth Avlectus]

I suppose I'd be a little more prepared for the hard times ahead that would ensue than my neighbors who laugh at "being prepared". You know, people who mock some of us that still have oil lamps, and would bother keeping some of the "old ways" for survival that didn't involve internet and GPS. You know, the type of people who don't pay attention to SB510 and what implications that has if you want to grow some of your own food--unlike yourself. Yeah, I'm a *little* more prepared than those folks if our currency were to suddenly become worthless.


What if Armageddon doesn't happen but maybe trends are such that prices go up because supply decreases and demand increases? (I.E. food shortage, oil prices skyrocket, and predictably everything depending on it gets prohibitively expensive for the next two decades at least) Side question: Am I a lunatic for wanting a contingency plan of my own?

[Totenkopf]

It's already happening anyway, but at a somewhat more relaxed pace. But, no, backup plans are eminently reasonable.

What if you're the last living person on earth....how long do you think you'll continue to live?

[Darth Avlectus]

There's no telling. Of course I'd do a ton of creative things in the meantime. Before I went insane or more likely blank in the mind and became an invalid. (and maybe attempt to repopulate the planet first with carbons which essentially are clones from DNA of dead humans albeit modified--failing that, I'd attempt to create some freakish new creatures...all else fails I'd slaughter all animals in all my primitive glory)

What if everything could be solved with a dead raccoon?

[Totenkopf]

Depends. They'd either be extinct by now or there'd be a really long line for the dead racoon that had all the answers to life's problems.

What if PETA changed its name to Please Eat The Animals and started militantly protesting against veganism?

[Darth Vada]

Then a bunch of hippies would protest against the protests.

What if a rogue group of assassin droids tried to take over the world?

[Totenkopf]

Unless they used WMD, they'd be defeated.

What if there really were easy answers for everything?

[Darth Avlectus]

Then Celebrity Deathmatch would be back, and Tommy Jordan might have to resort to using his .45 against the TerminatriX to survive a precious minute longer. I am not convinced he holds a candle to Chuck Norris, or for that matter, John Connor. Probably would be a proud soldier in the fight though.

Could Cyborg Zangief successfully prevent nuclear holocaust by headbutting the nuke into submission?

[Darth Avlectus]

Then Celebrity Deathmatch would be back, and Tommy Jordan might have to resort to using his .45 against the TerminatriX to survive a precious minute longer. I am not convinced he holds a candle to Chuck Norris, or for that matter, John Connor. Probably would be a proud soldier in the fight though.

What if Darth Malgus somehow survived?

[Darth Vada]

Who's Darth Malgus?

What if I didn't post?

[Darth Avlectus]

My question still would be up there to answer. (As if you didn't know, TOR troll. )

What if Fry's Electronics had a blowout sale next month?

[Totenkopf]

Then Bender and Lela would score themselves some cheap upgrades.

What if Maxine Waters had a well deserved stroke?

[Darth Avlectus]

Then good riddance. (Then again, knowing my luck, she'd end up a vegetable in a hospital bed for 30 years and the bill would be passed off to the taxpayers.)

What if Turkey-Neck Dodd "leaned forward" so far he fell on his face and was in a very prone position in front of all the people he ripped off, while Red Foreman's ass kicking class just went in session?

[Totenkopf]

Probably something like this:

YouTube Video

What if the Reapers of Mass Effect were real?

[Alkonium]

We've still got a good 174 years left.

What if Minecraft used Havok physics?

[Darth Avlectus]

That might be interesting as the engine is multi-platform and confirmed to work for a number of popular systems both PC OS' and consoles, might widen its reach.

What if you won the internet?

[Hallucination]

I'd tell all the countries trying to censor it to kill themselves.

Violent revolution incongruent with your political leanings has gripped your nation! What do?

[Totenkopf]

Kill......or be killed.

What if you had a genie that thwarted your every wish?

[Alkonium]

I'd wish to keep him forever, and he'd be obligated to otherwise.

What if you had a car, that ran on the world's first disobedient AI?

[Hallucination]

I'd tell it to drive me to the sun, it'll drive me into interstellar space and you'll all be mad jelly.

What if mad jelly was a real fruit preserve?

[Totenkopf]

It'd probably be available in numerous flavors at your local store.

What if Hal were stripped of his barony?

[Darth Avlectus]

Maybe he could be something a-firin'-his-lazor-shoop-da-whoop...

[Hallucination]

What if Avlectus had posted a What if-esque question?

Also, if you go back into the dark ages of LF, you'll find I'm also the Grand Duke of Costaguatemexorico, I just go by Baron von Sexy because Sexy's a bit more fashionable of a place.

[Darth Avlectus]

Then you'd be replying to it with some suitable answer. Occasionally knocking me to the floor.

What if Hal's rule 63 was Baroness von sexy?

[Totenkopf]

He could count himself luckier than if it looked like this:

What if the dog in Hal's avi bit his junk off (hint: Hal might become his own Rule 63)?

[purifier]

That would count as "interstellar" and would be a "Screwed by the Universe" type of thing.





What if Hal was like Lizard and able to grow another one?

[Darth Avlectus]

He'd probably make sure to be bigger and better.

What if it was about purifier instead of Tourettes Guy?

[purifier]

Then I'd would have stolen Tourettes Guy's thunder and he'd yell new and unheard of obscenities at me.






What if the Earth was hollow and Rule 63 only applied to hollow planets?

[Alkonium]

I'm not sure how the two are related.

What if My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic had this for a title sequence instead:

YouTube Video

[Darth Avlectus]

I don't know...I would hope it would make you happy if it is what you wanted.

What if there is yet another new season of Beavis and Butt-Head to come?

[purifier]

I'd say you'll probably wanna stock up on the popcorn, yes?






What if the world was actually one big poop left behind (a long time ago) by God?
(I become suspicious of this everyday.)