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Old 12-16-2008, 11:49 PM   #1
Achilles
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Musical instrument strikes Nicole Kidman barren

You heard it here first folks.

Quote:
Aboriginal actor and language teacher Richard Green says, "People are going to see Nicole playing it ["it" being a didgeridoo; a aboriginal horn] and think it's all right. It bastardises our culture. I will guarantee she has no more children. It is not meant to be played by women as it will make them barren."

And Alan Madden, a cultural officer at Sydney's Metropolitan Local Aboriginal Land Council, adds: "I presume she doesn't know, otherwise she wouldn't be playing it."
Emphasis mine.

Reports have indicated that Kidman will now travel to some other country which still has a native culture in order to seek out a similarly sacred musical instrument which she hopes will restore her fertility. Experts have advised her husband, country music star, Keith Urban to avoid copulating with her until the curse has been lifted as a precaution.

Everyone please include Nicole Kidman's ovaries in your prayers tonight. Thanks!

EDIT: oh, btw link
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Old 12-17-2008, 12:04 AM   #2
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Jeez...Why didn't she listen to aboriginal dude? C'mon, be smart.

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Old 12-17-2008, 04:31 PM   #3
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I purchase a didgeridoo and a bullroarer in 1990 as souvenirs of my trip to the land down under. The bullroarer I’ve allowed anyone that asked a chance to use, but the didgeridoo as remained hung on my wall.

I believe it is time to get it off the wall and allow two of my cousins a chance to play it.
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Old 12-17-2008, 06:27 PM   #4
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Truly a topic worthy of the Senate.


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Old 12-17-2008, 07:04 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Achilles View Post
You heard it here first folks.

Emphasis mine.

Reports have indicated that Kidman will now travel to some other country which still has a native culture in order to seek out a similarly sacred musical instrument which she hopes will restore her fertility. Experts have advised her husband, country music star, Keith Urban to avoid copulating with her until the curse has been lifted as a precaution.

Everyone please include Nicole Kidman's ovaries in your prayers tonight. Thanks!

EDIT: oh, btw link
Hmm, never heard of this... I know what a didgeridoo is, in fact I've played one, I even owned one at a point in time... Never really got good, but I've never knew they had "restrictions" on playing it... Funny thing is, the person who taught me to play it was a woman...


Looks like a fruit cake to me. - Brutus
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I don't want to get my hopes up, but it's like the planets are aligning or something.
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Old 12-17-2008, 08:48 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tk102 View Post
Truly a topic worthy of the Senate.
*sniffs the air for sarcasm*

Yeah, at some point we'll circle back around and broach the subject of cultural superstitions.
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Old 12-18-2008, 12:57 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Achilles View Post
Yeah, at some point we'll circle back around and broach the subject of cultural superstitions.
What are you saying this is all a superstition? After I had my cousin blow on the didgeridoo last night, I told her she could stop borrowing money from me to fill her prescription.
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Old 12-18-2008, 04:01 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Achilles View Post
*sniffs the air for sarcasm*

Yeah, at some point we'll circle back around and broach the subject of cultural superstitions.
Then drift over to debating evolution.



"No, Mama. You can bet your sweet ass and half a titty whoever put that hit on you already got the cops in their back pocket." ~Black Dynamite
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Old 12-18-2008, 09:33 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimartin View Post
What are you saying this is all a superstition?
Crazy, huh?

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Originally Posted by jmac7142 View Post
Then drift over to debating evolution.
That depends on whether m@rs makes an appearance or not.
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Old 12-19-2008, 08:19 PM   #10
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Nah... I'm not going to bring it up...


Looks like a fruit cake to me. - Brutus
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Originally Posted by Q View Post
I don't want to get my hopes up, but it's like the planets are aligning or something.
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Old 12-20-2008, 02:55 PM   #11
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Nah... I'm not going to bring it up...
Thank fossil record!

spoiler:
I hope you appreciate my humor, Achilles


_EW_



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Old 12-20-2008, 03:01 PM   #12
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Thank fossil record!

spoiler:
I hope you appreciate my humor, Achilles


_EW_
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Old 12-20-2008, 11:04 PM   #13
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Nicole Kidman is Australian?
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