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Old 08-23-2009, 09:46 PM   #2441
Keyan Farlander
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Well, I'm at the beach. Long drive, about 8 hours. They have Internet access here this year, so luckily for you guys it will be like I never left.
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Old 08-23-2009, 11:13 PM   #2442
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i wish i was at the beach.

this weekend was alright i guess...yesterday was my sister's bridal shower, so a few people showed up that i haven't seen in a few years, that was cool.

then today i called off work and went to knoebels groves amusement park with my parents. it was better than standing around a department store trying to look like i'm working and pretending to be nice to people. i went on too many of the rides that make me dizzy. the roundup one is the best!

my next day off is thursday and friday. I'm going to start moving my stuff out on tuesday.


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Old 08-24-2009, 06:56 AM   #2443
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... it will be like I never left.
Curses, Farlander! Curses!!!



Lady friend emailed me last night... so all my emo angst was premature.


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Old 08-24-2009, 09:27 AM   #2444
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... so all my emo angst was premature.

its OK Ed, its get easier once you are out of the teenage years...........





I'm 90% moved in!

another 2% will happen some weeknight this week, tonight or tomorrow prolly.....

then next weekend ill get more stuff as the epoxy on the garage floor will be ready for traffic
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Old 08-24-2009, 04:18 PM   #2445
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Ed, if anything I have learned this year with relationships is that the ladies somtimes can throw you for a loop, and if it isn't going to work out nine times out of ten it is because of issues they are dealing with. If it is ment to be, she will come back to you. if not, you need to realise it wasn't anything you did and move on.. how ever hard it is.

As for Kathleen and I. There are times I find myself doubting that the relationship is as good as I think it is. Then I get a phone call, or an E-mail that makes me realise it is still growing, getting better and stronger. Friday I found out her Dad's first name is the same as my Middle name. Today I had a voicemail waiting for me after work telling me that her best friend wants to meet me.


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Old 08-24-2009, 04:42 PM   #2446
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SOoooo


I'm a Collage Guy now!


classes start on monday :3

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Old 08-24-2009, 04:52 PM   #2447
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SOoooo


I'm a College Guy now!


classes start on monday :3


congrats!!

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Old 08-24-2009, 06:09 PM   #2448
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its OK Ed, its get easier once you are out of the teenage years...........
I'll smack you.



She wants me to help her pick out furniture for her place.

If she ever saw the mish-mash of weird stuff in my house, I'm sure she'd never ask my opinion.

But it probably has far more to do with the fact that I'm "her friend with a car" at this point, methinks...

We'll see...

If it's more of a "shopping for and helping pick out furniture for her place together" activity... that could actually be a bit fun. I went on a shopping trip with her a couple of weeks ago and that was a riot.

But:
If it's "me transporting and assembling furniture for her that she's already picked out and bought..." Ehh... not so much.

I'm sure I'll help her, of course... but I won't be so willing to take the call the next time if that's really what it is.

I really don't mind helping her out with giving her rides, or doing "guy"-type things occasionally,.. and I like spending time with her... but I do have limits.

If she's really only looking for an on-call handyman, then she might have to start paying for one. I have more than enough unfinished projects at my own place to keep me occupied without taking on all of hers as well.

Our time together has been leaning heavily that way lately... and not so much on the "hanging out together, talking, and having fun" side of things.

Hopefully, it's only because she's really trying to get established and settled in her new place, which is much bigger than the single rooms she's been renting for the last couple of years, and needs some work.

And that's hard to do without wheels of your own, and when you are kinda strapped for cash.

So... we'll see...


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Old 08-24-2009, 06:49 PM   #2449
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yeah

hopefully i dont get burned out

i planned for 18 credits, the MAX

just to make SURE that I can get the full benefits of the Post 9/11 Montgomery GI Bill.
i mean, if it comes to it, yeah i'll work alot on my off time, but [edit]shoot[/edit]
thats $1150 a month just to live on! (just a little less then what i get for unemployment :3)

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Old 08-24-2009, 09:22 PM   #2450
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Ed, if anything I have learned this year with relationships is that the ladies somtimes can throw you for a loop, and if it isn't going to work out nine times out of ten it is because of issues they are dealing with. If it is ment to be, she will come back to you. if not, you need to realise it wasn't anything you did and move on.. how ever hard it is.
And what I have learned this year is that there is no "meant to be" and if it doesn't work out, it has nothing to do with issues they are dealing with, and you need to realize it's entirely because of something you did or because you are simply not good enough. Then you can move on if you want, but it doesn't really matter, because no one will ever love you.
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Old 08-24-2009, 10:34 PM   #2451
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And what I have learned this year is that there is no "meant to be" and if it doesn't work out, it has nothing to do with issues they are dealing with, and you need to realize it's entirely because of something you did or because you are simply not good enough. Then you can move on if you want, but it doesn't really matter, because no one will ever love you.
i'm sorry you feel this way man, i'm having almost similar thoughts, seeing my sister getting ready for her wedding, it's very hard not to get upset that i haven't found the right woman yet.

well i just found out that there is maybe a little hope for me? my sister's maid of honor, her fiance's sister, is single. i haven't met her yet. this is fun to think about. single girls my age that are good looking are damn hard to find where i live. i don't expect her to be interested in me, but i might have the upper-hand, considering she's going to be my sister's sister-in-law.

anyway, just find something to fill your time, keyan. Go do stuff, do you have any friends?


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Old 08-24-2009, 11:29 PM   #2452
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well i just found out that there is maybe a little hope for me?
There isn't. There isn't any hope for anyone. There's just blind, stupid luck that a girl's brain might be triggered in such a way as to find you acceptable for just the right period of time for her to want to marry you. Which in the case of girls I know is about six weeks.

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anyway, just find something to fill your time, keyan. Go do stuff, do you have any friends?
I have more than enough to fill my time. Yes, I have friends, but I hate them all.
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Old 08-24-2009, 11:36 PM   #2453
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damn, get some alcohol...that is what i did, and i am somewhat cured now.


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Old 08-24-2009, 11:41 PM   #2454
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If you hate your friends, hang out with your enemies.

Ed: If it continues, you may be in the "Friend Zone". At that point have an honest and open conversation. It's hard an' awkward but for the love of Joe Peschi if we did that more I think the world would be a better place. Less games more "Ok, so where is this gonna go?". If it's just friends, make sure you let her know it's cool. Don't kick yerself and wait.

Of course, this is the guy who hasn't dated in almost 3 years, so what the **** do I know eh?

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Old 08-25-2009, 07:08 AM   #2455
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Yeah... I'm starting to think that is the case... and I really don't believe there was really ever much of a chance of it being anything else.

But it was worth the shot. It's not like I was going to be doing anything else better with my time, anyway.

I haven't totally given up hope (until I learn she's seriously seeing someone else, she's still eligible...) but unless something surprising happens, it's not going to be my main focus anymore.


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Old 08-25-2009, 07:46 AM   #2456
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lol keep telling yourself that


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Old 08-25-2009, 08:09 AM   #2457
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What part?


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Old 08-25-2009, 10:41 AM   #2458
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There isn't. There isn't any hope for anyone. There's just blind, stupid luck that a girl's brain might be triggered in such a way as to find you acceptable for just the right period of time for her to want to marry you. Which in the case of girls I know is about six weeks.



I have more than enough to fill my time. Yes, I have friends, but I hate them all.
go home, get in bed, and get out of bed on the opposite side of what did earlier




I spent all of college basically dating the same girl, only to have her start treating like a *(^^ slaveboy and her bitch and have her tell me we need to get married, so I left her.

I thought I was totally eff'd because I wasted all of college when I had easy access to loads of single women my age etc etc etc

**** happens dude, women suck and till destroy you, get over it and move on. I know this one is fresh, so you have some time, but you need to move on eventually and forgive YOURSELF and the female gender, or you wont have much interaction with them anymore without having to pay for it
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Old 08-25-2009, 11:06 AM   #2459
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go home, get in bed, and get out of bed on the opposite side of what did earlier
I've tried both sides. They're exactly the same.

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**** happens dude, women suck and till destroy you, get over it and move on. I know this one is fresh, so you have some time, but you need to move on eventually and forgive YOURSELF and the female gender, or you wont have much interaction with them anymore without having to pay for it
I'm already paying for it. I've been paying for it for eight years. I'll be paying for it for the rest of my life. I don't really care anymore.
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Old 08-25-2009, 12:36 PM   #2460
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I spent most of the last decade in a very similar state (though mine was caused by more by what seemed like dozens of consecutive rejections in a row, which destroyed any fragile kernel of self-confidence and self-esteem I may have started with...) that I'm now trying heroically to pull myself back out of... with mixed results.

My natural tendency is to just say "**** it!" and go back to that attitude... but I learned that while it was actually easier, it didn't serve to make me any happier.

Though, if things don't start looking up for me again, it's entirely possible I'll be heading back that way myself soon...


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Old 08-25-2009, 04:32 PM   #2461
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Keyan... it isn't all that bad. Yes the pain will still be there but you need to learn how to deal with it until the pain is lessened. You need to be happy with yourself first, and then want to share your wonderful life with someone else. Otherwise your SOL.

This weekend I have my neice visiting, and my Girlfriend wants to visit also since her earlier plans fell through. She is priority #2 tho since I havn't seen my Niece all summer


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Old 08-25-2009, 04:56 PM   #2462
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Keyan... it isn't all that bad. Yes the pain will still be there but you need to learn how to deal with it until the pain is lessened. You need to be happy with yourself first, and then want to share your wonderful life with someone else. Otherwise your SOL.
This is the problem. I am happy with myself. I am awesome. My life is perfect. I'm in great shape, I have plenty of money, and I have many hobbies and interests. The only thing missing IS someone to share it with. And it's never going to happen. Because I waited too long, and I'm too old now to find the perfect person I was looking for. But I had her. I had her in my hands, and I screwed it up somehow. And that's what I'm going to wake up to every day now. And yes, there are plenty of other people, blah blah blah. But the truth is, I really DON'T care anymore. Last time it took me six years before I was ready to try again. Now... I think it really is time to consider an alternative. And no, I don't mean dudes
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:32 PM   #2463
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I hope you don't mean mail order brides?

Sorry... yeah, let's face it: Love Stinks.

I'm meeting M. to help her do some furniture shopping in the morning. I have mixed feelings about this... but I'm going anyway. We'll see how that goes and how I feel afterwards.

She's also invited me out to an authentic Japanese-style Karaoke club on Thursday night. I might try to meet up with her to see her friend play a Koto recital earlier that evening as well. That sounds uber-cool.

So... That's doing something fun together, for a change. I'm feeling a bit better about things,.. but I guess I still would like a better sense of where, if anywhere, we stand even in just our friendship... if not otherwise.


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Old 08-25-2009, 07:47 PM   #2464
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Then ask!

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Old 08-25-2009, 07:52 PM   #2465
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So... That's doing something fun together, for a change. I'm feeling a bit better about things,.. but I guess I still would like a better sense of where, if anywhere, we stand even in just our friendship... if not otherwise.
Why don't you just ask her? Granted, she will probably lie, since all women are liars, but at least you will communicate that you want to know the nature of your relationship and that will at least force her to think about it.
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:39 PM   #2466
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just packed up my movies and games...not much more to pack up, just need some trash bags.


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Old 08-26-2009, 12:50 AM   #2467
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Keyan, maybe it's because of your small penis?



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Old 08-26-2009, 01:43 AM   #2468
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Next time I can get her alone...

I have an upcoming wedding I'm going to. Perhaps asking her to go with could force that discussion as well.

Saw "District 9" tonight.

Intense.


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Old 08-26-2009, 06:46 AM   #2469
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Happy Birthday, Niner!!!!



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Old 08-26-2009, 09:47 AM   #2470
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happy b-day NINER!

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Old 08-26-2009, 10:05 AM   #2471
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happy brithday nine!


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Old 08-26-2009, 10:22 AM   #2472
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Keyan, maybe it's because of your small penis?



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Old 08-26-2009, 10:50 AM   #2473
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moving 1/3 of my stuff over to my parents'. rest is just clothes, dishes, and furniturish stuff (computer/tv/bed/desk/table/small appliances)


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Old 08-26-2009, 11:24 AM   #2474
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Happy b-day Niner


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Old 08-26-2009, 03:41 PM   #2475
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Why don't you just ask her?
I started to push the conversation that way at one point today... she changed the subject so quickly and dramatically I knew right away she didn't want to even think about discussing it.

Maybe I'll try again later... or not.

I'll probably just let it drop and accept things the way they are. Forever "Just Friends..." *sigh*

But we'll see how things go tomorrow night. That will be a more relaxed atmosphere. She was pretty tense today since we were running on a tight schedule since she had to be across town for work by 3.

I'll probably still ask if she wants to attend this upcoming wedding with me. That might force some stuff into the open. (Or we'll attend as friends, and maybe even act as wingmen for each other. )

And if she doesn't want to go, I can ask her to recommend one of her friends who might.

Whatever... I'm getting too tired to think about it anymore.


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Old 08-26-2009, 11:30 PM   #2476
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i hate my shoes


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Old 08-27-2009, 08:51 AM   #2477
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I think I can safely say that we all do! (Hate your shoes, that is...)

For the first time in weeks, it's colder outside than inside. My house sounds weird without all the AC units and fans going. I can HEAR things again!


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Old 08-27-2009, 08:56 AM   #2478
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its been cool here most of the week

yesterday and today its getting into the mid 80's, but down to the low 60's at nigh

we really lucked out Satruday, as the high was 72 for moving day


about 20 degrees below the norm!
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Old 08-27-2009, 09:22 AM   #2479
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ugh...gotta go move more of my stuff. going to move clothes and dishes and kitchen appliances today. least it's not much of a mess to clean.

**** it i'm 3/4 done, and it's not even 12pm yet, might as well clear out today. though, not sure how i'm going to get the modem back to the cable company...haven't called to cancel that yet.


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Old 08-28-2009, 06:47 AM   #2480
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Karaoke was... interesting.

Not something I'd want to do every weekend... but fun enough that I'd do it again,.. and it was pretty hilarious at points.

I was pretty terrible... but I was the only one choosing any Classic Rock and Hard Rock songs, so I gave it my all.

At least it was just the 5 of us in a private suite, and not in a public bar with dozens of people watching on.

Next time I got to make sure I have more American people with us... nobody knew any of the songs I chose... and I didn't recognize any of the Japanese or Chinese pop songs that the others were doing.

Nothing new to report about my status. Never had a chance to talk privately with her last night. I guess maybe I should just accept that "it is what it is..." and be happy with that.

I'm supposed to stop over her place some time in the next couple of days though. Maybe if the spirit moves me I'll broach the subject again...

Hanging out with my best friend from my years in college today. We might jam a bit on guitar.

Looks like rain all weekend here. Oh well... I'm back to work tomorrow afternoon anyway. Didn't get much done around here after all.

So much for time off.


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