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Old 01-14-2009, 10:21 PM   #1
Jedi_Man
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Heroes of the Republic

Hero he'd been called once.
Carth sat down in a chair. He was home, he was on Telos. He closed his eyes, merely to rest them, he told himself, but he knew different. He was old, he'd seen his children and his grandchildren go on and have a great life, go on to meet good people, get married and have their own kids.
He wore his old Republic pilot outfit, adorned with all his medals, the Bronze Star, the Order of the Republic, the Wounded in Service. He had almost all of them, and yet they brought no pride as they usually would. He had let his wife die while getting them, he had let his kid join the sith while these pieces of metal gathered dust in a shelf.
Everyone he knew called him a hero, except for the ones he'd traveled with. He was tired of it, He had killed mandalorians, some no older than 10! They just wouldn't give up. They thought there was no honor in dying peacefully, or giving up. He'd saved countless lives, killed countless more, and it all amounted to nothing.
In the end, the one thing he fought for died. His wife. Dying. In his hands. The medics arriving just in time for them to call it. Then he met Revan, a good friend. Revan had been helpful through it all, never once letting Carth fall. Carth owed him for that. Revan was better than him at absolutely everything.
Carth looked at the pistol in his lap, the surface of the planet reflecting sunlight onto it. He picked it up, contemplating his own death.
He put the pistol down, he would go in his own merry time, but not now.
Hero someon had called him once.

Jedi_Man has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

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Deep thought #1: In the end, everyone dies. No one can outrun time, death itself is always breathing down your neck, just waiting to slip the noose over you. But, in your time of death, what matters is not when or how or even why. What matters is what you do with it. Do you sit down and call it quits, or do you get up, stare your killer and death itself in the face, and laugh copiously, right until the end.
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Old 01-19-2009, 07:18 PM   #2
Tysyacha
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You managed to fit quite a bit of introspection and philosophy into a very short space. If this is your first try at a Javyar's fic, congratulations! It's a handsome start. My only suggestions would be to break up the paragraphs and perhaps add a little more description of one of his most famous (or infamous) battles. Kudos to you!
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Old 01-20-2009, 08:38 PM   #3
LordOfTheFish
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It a good story, Jedi_Man, very good. But it lacks length, which makes it hardly worth reading. No grammar, or spelling errors to my knowledge.

All around, I thought it was good!

-Fish-

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Old 01-22-2009, 03:28 PM   #4
machievelli
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read


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 01-24-2009, 09:56 AM   #5
Bee Hoon
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Mmm, surprisingly good despite its length (or lack thereof ). There's errors in spelling and some awkward sentences, but the basic idea is solid. The sparse descriptions seem to suit the overall tone, although I admit that I generally prefer fics with more descriptions. A bit more elaboration would be nice, but it works well, as he seems weary and he seems to have followed this train of thought countless times. All in all, a good effort and keep writing!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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