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Old 02-15-2009, 09:32 PM   #1
Litofsky
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From the Imperial Desk of His Majesty

To all and ƒingular, as well as Nobles and Gentles as others to whom these presents shall come, His Moft Ahtonian Majeƒty Darathy InSidious, by the Grace of Stoffe the Holy Ubernaut Emperor, Duke of Holowan & Sovereign Dark Lord of the Sith, Chronokrator, King of Kings Ruling Over Rulers fendeth greetings in our Lady Stoffe Thrice-Wise.

Whereas anciently and from the beginning the valiant and virtuous acts of worthy perfons have been commended to the world with sundry monuments and remembrances of there good deserts, amongƒt which the chiefeƒt and most usual has been the bearing of titles and status known as Peerage, which are current demonƒtrations of prowefs and valour, which order as it was most prudently deviƒed in the beginning to show and find in the hearts of men to the imitation of virtue and nobleness. Even so has the same been and yet is continually obƒerved to the endthat such as have done commendable service to their Prince or Country either in war or peace may both receive due honour in their lives and derive the same succeƒsively unto their posterity for ever.

So be it enacted, declared & made known to All and Singular, that, owing to great merit and worthiness, His Moƒt Gracious Majefty doth ennoble with the following Titulary and Rank of Place the following moft excellent and worthy perƒons of ye City of Ahto:

To Sabretooth-ji Garu, alias Sabretooth, by the Grace of Stoffe Mayor, King, Emperor, Dictator and Sole Surviving Monarch of Crocodilopolis, is granted the pofition, entitlement and rank of Maharajah of Telos, and Positions of Leader of His Majeƒty's Moƒt Loyal Oppoƒition, Conƒul, True Royal Acquaintance & Sole Companion to His Majeƒty, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To EnderWiggin, Vice-Preƒident of Ahto is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Marquefs of Kavar's, Seal-bearer of His Majeƒty, Vizier, Camerlengo, Firƒt Lord of the Treaƒury, Lord Lieutenant of the High Wopentake & True Royal Acquaintance, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Jae Onaƒi, High Propheteƒs of Stoffe & to the Point Man is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Ducheƒs & Duke of Coruƒcant, Princeƒs-Elector of Javyar's Speaker of the Houƒe, Supreme & Inviolate Judge and Law Lady, Princess Cake Herald Extraordinary and True Royal Acquaintance, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Pavlos is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Archduke, Margrave, Praetor, Lord High Chancellor, Overseer of the Secrets of the Royal Insignia, Imperial Swordbearer, Homunculus King of Arms, Prince-Elector of Norroy-Lothringen-Saxe-Coburg-Westphalia-Second-Junction-On-The-M52, Lord Mayor of Ahto, Lord High Admiral, Lord Advocate, Knight Marischal, Grand Master of the Order of the One-Eyed One-Horned Purple-Headed People-Eater, Minister for Dickensian Clichés and True Royal Acquaintance, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Litofsky, Imperial Secretary, is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Lord Great Chamberlain, Lord Privy Seal, Minister of Snow Tigers, Overseer of the Heavenly Pamphlet and True Royal Acquaintance, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Alias Bee Hoon is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Duchess, Royal Cupbearer, Overseer of the Diadems, Royal Flower-Taster, Grand Dame of the Order of the One-Eyed One-Horned Purple-Headed People-Eater, Lord Clerk Register, Lyons-Tea-Rooms Queen of Arms, and Minister for Fanfic, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To jonathan7 is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Marquess, Prince-Elector Without The Walls, Imperial High Lord of the Seven Ceremonial Things In The Seven Ceremonial Boxes, Field Marshal, Chief of the General Staff, Holder of the General Staff, Crown Court Chamberlain, Commander of the Order of the One-Eyed One-Horned Purple-Headed People-Eater and Member of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan, and Minister With a Portfolio, But You're Not Allowed To Know What's In It, So There, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Shem is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Grand Duke, Prince-Elector of KotORFiles, Lord Warden of the Mod Stores, Lord Grand Warden of the Wards, Overseer of Things Which Go 'BANG', Commander of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan and Minister for Terrified Mice, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To ChAiNz.2da is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Marquis, Grand Cross Commander of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan, Lord High Really-Wish-You-Were-Here-More-Often-Dammit-Stay-Still-Will-You, Lord Chamberlain of the Chambers That Are Where They Are, High Justice General and Minister for Rocks and the Having Thereof, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To tk102, sysadmin, is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Marquess, Grand Cross Commander of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan, Ipsissimus, Caliph and Minister With Slightly Overstuffed Portfolio, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Darth333, Administraterror and High Dark Lady of the Sith is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Despotic Tetrarch, Lord Prefident of His Majeƒty's Most Honourable Privy Council, Petit Gateau Moelleux Herald, Grand Dame Commander of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan, Chief Mistress of Ceremonies, Interrex, Grand Marshal of the Crown, Castellan and Minister for Pianos and Definitely-Not-Poisoned Apples, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Samuel Dravis, High Priest of the Stoffe, is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Tribunus Populi, Pontifex Antiquissimus, Archbishop of Ahto, High Grand Royal Chaplain, Earl Marshal, Censor, Censer, Minister With Portfolio And A Hat, But Only A Small One and Minister for Long, Complicated Arguments About Atris, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To jmac7142 is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Earl, URL and Swirl, Lord High Jesting-Type-Person of Ahto, Lord High Constable, Codemaster-General, Equerry, Soothsayer, Seigneur, Moƒt Noble Lord Known Unknown, Lord Chief Justice, Sartorial Officer, Rose Calculatrice Herald Peculiar and Minister of Lolwut, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To “Emperor” Devon is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Viscount, Aedile, Holder of the Royal Picnic Hamper, Fluted Wimple Pursuivant, Witchsmeller With Large Portfolio and Lord High Executioner.

To Astor_Kaine is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Earl, First Lord of the Admiralty, Crown Referendary, Master of the Hunt and Minister Without Portfolio But With a Rather Nice Ceremonial Staff, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Fred Tetra is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Despotic Tetrarch In Absentia, Grand Knight Cross Commander of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan, Ipsissimus, Pater Familias of Holowan and Minister With ****ing Creepy Avatar, No Seriously, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To RedHawke is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Prince-Elector of Z'Ha'Dum, Grand Cross Commander of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan, and Minister of Because, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To Quanon is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Baron of the 3D Realms, Knight of the Most Supreme, Ancient, Noble and Thoroughly Not Made Up On A Whim Order of the Golden Cog of Modding Of Holowan, Lord Marshal of Area Modelling, and Minister for New Area Mods, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

To jawathehutt is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Minister for Social Contracts, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.

It is alfo hereby announced, declared & made known to All and Singular that the Imperial Government of Ahto, Conƒisting in the Imperial Diet and the Emperor thereof, doth officially deny recognition of the so-called 'Imperial Empire' or Aresen, and declareth that the so-called Emperor of Aresen hath no jursidiction neither within nor without this Realm of Ahto, nor his apparatchiks and followers, and We, Darathy InSidious, by the Grace of Stoffe Holy Ubernaut Emperor, formally and publicly reject all his empty works and all his empty promiƒes.

We do, however, proclaim, declare, define, announce and make known our recognition of the Sovereign Imperial Realm of the City of Crocodilopolis, and its Mayor, King, Emperor, Dictator and Sole Surviving Monarch of Crocodilopolis, viz. Sabretooth-ji Garu, alias Sabretooth, and his government and laws, yea, his juriƒdiction both within & without this Realm of Ahto. Furthermore, we make it known in our Demand in the Name of the Most High Stoffe Thrice-Wise that the Realm now known as “The Mississippi” be returnéd to its original name and status, viz., the City of Crocodilopolis, post-haste.

It is further declared that this day, being the Sixteenth of the month of February in the Year 2009, is henceforth annually to be known and held as Imperial Ahtonian Awards Day, or Ego Day for short.

Darathy InSidious, By the Grace of Stoffe the Holy Ubernaut Emperor, Βασιλεύς Βασιλέων, Βασιλεύων Βασιλευόντων

16th February 2008, henceforth to be known as Ego Day.

Last edited by Litofsky; 02-15-2009 at 09:59 PM.
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Old 02-15-2009, 09:44 PM   #2
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Old 02-15-2009, 09:51 PM   #3
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Old 02-15-2009, 09:57 PM   #4
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Verily doth I, the Maharajah of Telos, and Pofitions of Leader of His Majefty's Moft Loyal Oppofition, Conful, True Royal Acquaintance & Sole Companion to His Majefty, accept thine blefsings and give to you what if my unending loyalty and Service, by the Grace of Stoffe.



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Old 02-15-2009, 10:05 PM   #5
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As thy Majeƒty's Imperial Secretary, I hereby and henceƒorth announce my support for the newly announced proclamations. Emperor, may thy's reign be long.

A most excellent Monarch have we! Rejoice, Ahtonauts! Rejoice for the Emperor, rejoice for Ahto, and rejoice for the wondrous time you shall have under the reign of Darathy InSidious, by the Grace of Stoffe the Holy Ubernaut Emperor, Βασιλεύς Βασιλέων, Βασιλεύων Βασιλευόντων.
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Old 02-15-2009, 11:38 PM   #6
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*Jae curtsies deeply in His Presence*

Unto His Gracious Supreme Majesty, Darth Insidious, do come these warm and humble greetings from Her Graceful Highness, Jae Onasi.

Verily, I am deeply moved by these Royal Letters Patent, and shall bear the title of Duchess of Coruscant and Princess-Elector of Javyar's with the utmost honor and respect with which they have been accorded. I shall ever be in Your debt that You would consider me worthy of such a tremendous award.

I remain ever in Your service,
Jae Onasi,
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:46 AM   #7
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:47 AM   #8
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You have way too much time on your hands

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Old 02-16-2009, 01:00 AM   #9
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:02 AM   #10
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:16 AM   #11
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"No, Mama. You can bet your sweet ass and half a titty whoever put that hit on you already got the cops in their back pocket." ~Black Dynamite
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:27 AM   #12
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You have way too much time on your hands
Au contraire, having too much time on your hands lets you find things like this in the weirdeft of places:



We know you'll find the ancyent tomb of Am'nhtep Ra-pTah someday, Darathy.


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Old 02-16-2009, 06:22 AM   #13
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To Astor_Kaine is granted the poƒition, entitlement and rank of Earl, First Lord of the Admiralty, Crown Referendary, Master of the Hunt and Minister Without Portfolio But With a Rather Nice Ceremonial Staff, and the stipendiary incomes thereby gained.
To his most Imperial Highness,

I convey my gratitude and heartfelt thanks for His Majesty's bestowal of the title of Earl, and First Lord of the Admiralty.

Your fleet (non-existent as it is) will endeavour to serve and protect the high sea of Ahto, as soon as we can find a decent map, and work out where the ignition key goes.

And further, in my official capacity as Master of the Hunt, I shall tend his Majesty's land in readiness for that most noble of pursuits.

Thank you for the staff, with which I shall thoroughly beat my servants until they grovel, as we do, in your Majesty's presence.

I have the honour to be,

Earl Astor Kaine, First Lord of the Admiralty, Master of the Hunt and Minister Without Portfolio But With a Rather Nice Ceremonial Staff.







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Old 02-16-2009, 06:28 AM   #14
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This gets stickied?

Fascinating[/Spock]

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Old 02-16-2009, 06:36 AM   #15
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Old 02-16-2009, 07:25 AM   #16
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Sup, I'm here to ruin your thread.

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Old 02-16-2009, 08:17 AM   #17
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This gets stickied?

Fascinating[/Spock]

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Sup, I'm here to ruin your thread.
Assuming there's something that can be ruined in this mess of a thread.

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Old 02-16-2009, 09:28 AM   #18
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The Clique Orgy Returneth!


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Old 02-16-2009, 09:32 AM   #19
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The Clique Orgy Returneth!
That's the Imperial Clique Orgy to you, pleb.

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Old 02-16-2009, 09:32 AM   #20
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That's the Imperial Clique Orgy to you, pleb.

Βασιλεύς Βασιλέων, Βασιλεύων Βασιλευόντων
:kneels and apologizes:...


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Old 02-16-2009, 09:35 AM   #21
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Old 02-16-2009, 09:43 AM   #22
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The Clique Orgy Returneth!
Yeah, and I appreciate the nature of the entire affair.

It's presented as a jest, and yet it really isn't...

Cute.


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Old 02-16-2009, 09:46 AM   #23
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Sup bro.


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Old 02-16-2009, 09:50 AM   #24
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Yeah, and I appreciate the nature of the entire affair.

It's presented as a jest, and yet it really isn't...

Cute.
You guys should lighten up, have a little more fun with these and less serious business.

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Old 02-16-2009, 09:51 AM   #25
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Ha! Ha! Look at the squabbles of the lefser plebs who were too unwafhed to be included in the very Proper List of Proper People. My heart goes out to all you unmentioned heroes, it truly does; now eat cake!


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Old 02-16-2009, 09:55 AM   #26
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Quote:
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You guys should lighten up, have a little more fun with these and less serious business.
Βασιλεύς Βασιλέων, Βασιλεύων Βασιλευόντων
Fixed.

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Old 02-16-2009, 10:08 AM   #27
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Ha! Ha! Look at the squabbles of the lefser plebs who were too unwafhed to be included in the very Proper List of Proper People. My heart goes out to all you unmentioned heroes, it truly does; now eat cake!


Not all those who wander are lost.-J.R.R. Tolkien

I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen, not only because I see it but by it I see everything else - C.S. Lewis
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Old 02-16-2009, 10:14 AM   #28
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Fixed.
... XD

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Old 02-16-2009, 10:17 AM   #29
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Old 02-16-2009, 10:19 AM   #30
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The Imperial Empire of Aresen does not take kindly on plagiarism.


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Old 02-16-2009, 10:52 AM   #31
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The Imperial Empire of Aresen does not take kindly on plagiarism.
Exactly, I swiftly declared war on this farce as soon as I became aware of its existence.

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Old 02-16-2009, 11:02 AM   #32
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Exactly, I swiftly declared war on this farce as soon as I became aware of its existence.
And Darth InSidious, by the Grace of Stoffe the Holy Ubernaut Emperor, declared war on you, so let's just call it even and walk away.


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Old 02-16-2009, 11:37 AM   #33
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:21 PM   #34
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Moving on....


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Old 02-16-2009, 12:36 PM   #35
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Hee hee, I find this appointment of ranks interesting indeed, the class system has returned....VIVA LA REVOLUTION! WE MUST REVOLT! {Well, maybe not...}

Of course, the entire thing is quite clever indeed, I salute the High Ahtonian Council in their fair judgment and duties appointed to those listed up...erm...there. Of course, in order to completely begin the social status of all of the fair lords and Ladys, I suggest to the Ahtonian leaders that some sort of...erm...Ball should be started, yes, so that we may come to know these....aristocrats and Nobles.

Hail the Emperor!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:45 PM   #36
Lynk Former
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Wow... it's... like a time loop... *looks @ Ray* isn't it.

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Old 02-16-2009, 03:02 PM   #37
Pavlos
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Oh my! I never thought... well, this is so unexpected.

Hwæt, ic swefna cyst secgan wylle,
hwæt me gemætte to midre nihte,
syðþan reordberend reste wunedon.
Þuhte me þæt ic gesawe syllicre treowto seem
on lyft lædan, leohte bewunden,
beama beorhtost. Eall þæt beacen wæs
begoten mid golde; gimmas stodon
fægere æt foldan sceatum, swylce þær fife wæron
uppe on þam eaxlegespanne. Beheoldon þær engel Dryhtnes ealle
fægere þurh forðgesceaft ne wæs ðær huru fracodes gealga,
ac hine þær beheoldon haligegastas,
men ofer moldan and eall þeos mære gesceaft.
Syllic wæs se sigebeam, ic synnum fah,
forwunded mid wommum. Geseah ic wuldres treow
wædum geweorðod wynnum scinan,
gegyred mid golde; gimmas hæfdon
bewrigen weorðlice Wealdendes treow.

To Be Continued...

Or is that unexpected? I just hope we're not beginning to mean something, if I'm honest with you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arátoeldar View Post
Quoted for Awesome.


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Old 02-16-2009, 03:03 PM   #38
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Old 02-16-2009, 04:12 PM   #39
Jeff
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The stoffe has decreed there will be four sticky threads in Ahto at all times. I do not think any of you will argue with her ruling or mine to enforce it.


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Old 02-16-2009, 04:16 PM   #40
Ray Jones
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aaaahahaha, Lynk, just look, an entire empire crushing into pieces before its existence because of 'social decrepancies', or, as I call it 'being a bunch of nancies in pink dresses' XDDDD


behold how to maek empir you spootheads ^_____________-^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoom Rabbit View Post
My fellow Areseners, welcome.

By the supreme power invested in me by Illuminatus Cracken, the hidden force behind the economic power base of Aresen industry, I am establishing an imperial court for the Empire of Aresen. These positions may be claimed by any member with more than 1000 posts (in order that they may adopt the title with their avatar if they so choose)...and naturally, being your *emperor* I get the final say on who gets a position with more than one claimant. Members with less than 1000 posts must prove their loyalty by serving in the battle hack army, which I propose in the Minister of War's job description.

There is responsibility with these cabinet positions, which may be disregarded out of hand by the minister appointed. Enjoy.

The Aresen Imperial Cabinet

Prime Minister of Aresen: Should act officious to newbies but obseqious to superiors. Responsible for making Imperial decisions if I'm offline (although executions can occur to reward decisions which prove later to be unpopular with our Imperial Majesty.) (Filled: Lynk Former.)

Aresen Minister of War: We need to get ourselves organized and form an Aresen army for the battle hack. This position should go to someone who has done the battle hack a lot, and wants to organize such an army. (Filled: Rogue Nine.)

Aresen Minister of Homeland Insecurity: Responsible for controlling the fear level of the Aresen membership with a color-coded alert system. Should also figure out which of our members are islamic terrorists passing information in code on the internet and label it 'spam' for proper scrutiny by the LF authorities. (Filled: The Truthful Liar.)

Aresen Minister of the Exterior: This position is for someone who likes trees. And grass...and stuff. Might seem to have more authority if they choose to launch on extended environmental tirades. (Filled in absentia: Lujayne.)

Aresen Minister of Funny Walks: We need an authority on British humor to serve as a translator for the American members who frequently have no freaking clue what the Brits are laughing about. Or maybe just a Monty Python fan. (Filled: Kookee Scar.)

Aresen Minister of Court Amusements: Someone who knows the current Lucasarts games really well and is prepared to ignore stupid questions from ten year-old kids who haven't figured out where the shield generator is yet. Or the game topic forums. (Filled: Clefo.)

Aresen Minister of the Treasury: Someone to keep ahold of our Imperial War Chest in a credit earning account. If there is no bank, will be responsible for minting Aresen Imperial rabbit coins as legal tender. (Filled: StarWarsPhreak.)

Aresen Ambassadors-at-Large: Several members who frequents a lot of the other LF forums and are familiar with the differing natures and members of each well enough to represent our community to the rest of the Lucasforums galaxy with at least a pretense at dignity. Should also have hard liquor skills. (Redwing, Edlib, STTCT, Nitro.)

Aresen Imperial Court Master-at-Arms: An expert on sharp metal things and the art of 'getting medieval' on upstart noobies. Should also be a demi-god of some sort. (Filled: Admiral.)

Aresen Imperial Court Jester: Must be three-dimensional, able to think two or four dimensionally, and have absolutely no fear of dogs. Primate preferred. (Filled: RayJones.)
______________________

[Edit: sorry, but all cabinet positions have been filled. If you really want one, you can always make up your own title for the Aresen Imperial court. Long live the Empire of Aresen!]
Long live the Empire of Aresen!


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