lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: The Life of Venku Ordo
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 07-05-2009, 04:36 PM   #1
Kyr'am Galaar
Junior Member
 
Kyr'am Galaar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 428
I've been working on this for a while. It's not done but here.

The Life of Venku Ordo


Chapter 1: Life as a Jedi
__________________________________________

I wake up. I had another dream. A wonderful dream. I was a Bounty Hunter in the dream. It has been, and still is, what I would rather be than a Jedi. I hear my master calling. "Dane! Dane!" I hear her say. "Coming!" I reply. I don't have any friends, they all make fun of me because I'm a cross between two species. Not even my master likes me. Though she trys to hide it.

Once I am dressed, I go down for my morning duel. "Master," I say. "I am ready." I look around. She is not here. Or... I whip out my lightsaber just as my master springs her suprise attack. With my yellow blade against her blue one, we are ready to duel.

My master swiftly jumps high in the air. But I know that she is just trying to lure me up as well. I'll play along. I think to myself. I jump up as well. She brings her lightsaber down towards me as soon as I jumped. But I was prepared. I did a quick spin and flip, landing my feet on her stomach. Then kicking off. Hard.

Winded, she falls to the floor. As she gets up I point my lightsaber at her throat. "Alright," She says. "You win." I deactivate my lightsaber and I help her up. "Very good, Dane." She says. "I never saw that coming." "May I go get some breakfast, Master?" I ask. "Of course." She says. At those words I take off to the dining hall.

<Five minutes later>

"I'm eating." I say. "Well you don't have to get all snotty about it." The girl says. "Me? What about you?!?" I say.
"You don't belong here." She says. "You are a disgrace to the Jedi." "Thats it!" I yell. "You can kiss you sorry *** goodbye!" I whip out my lightsaber. She whips out hers. We start to fight, but one of the Masters came over and put his own lightsaber between us. "You two are in big trouble."

<Thirty minutes later>

I am infront of the council. They are debating whether I should be exiled or not. Master Yoda looks up and says, "Part of the Jedi, you are no longer. Your lightsaber, you must give us." He holds out his hand. I place my lightsaber in it. The girl smirks at me. "Same for you, it is." Says Master Yoda. The girl's smile is gone. In it's place, rage. She then turns and ran so fast all you could see was a blur. One of the masters follows her. "You are to pack your things," Says Mace Windu. "You will be going to Dantooine. For farming."

Chapter 2:Outcast
__________________________________________

How. How. How. I keep on asking myself that question, but I still have no idea how to escape. If I could just think of somethi... "I got it!!!" I yell. *snnuckork* "Sorry," I whisper into the darkness. I almost forgot that someone else was here. I open the door and I walk down the hall towards the cockpit.

<five minutes later>

"Sir?" I ask the pilot. "What is our destination?" "Currently? Dantooine. and we're almost there too." He replies. I never really got the hang of mind manipulation, but I need to change the course. Here goes nothing. "You will re-route this ship to go to Nar Shadda." I say. "I will re-route this ship to go to Nar Shadda." He says. Well, so far so good. I need to go get ready to get off of this ship.

"Hah! Freedom!" Then I look around. I see a small gang coming towards me. "Gimme all the creds you got!" One of them says. "Sorry, not gonna happen." I say. One of them suddenly makes a hand motion. I then realise that I am surrounded. I jump up and stick my foot out to do a nice spinning kick. "Like I said, 'not gonna happen.'" I then turn and run down the street, and into a cantina.

Hmm. Nice. I am in a cantina, enjoying a drink. Then I see a man walking towards me. He is a tall man, with a muscular yet obviously flexible body. And judging by the small lumps under his clothing, wearing armour. His face is partially obscured by a hat.

When he reaches me he says, "Mishuk gotal'u meshuroke, pako kyore." Mandalorian! I bring my fist up to hit him in his jaw, but I miss and instead I hit his hat. "Udesii." He says. Whatever that means. "Ya!" I yell as I throw a chair at him. He ducks and comes running at me. I duck, big mistake. He brings his elbow down hard onto the back of my neck. I fall to the floor, temperarily paralized.

"Calm down." He says. "I don't want to hurt you." He helps me up, and I follow him to his ship. "You put up quite the fight." He says. "I can help you get better." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Who are you anyway?" I ask. "Me? My name is Sencu Ordo."

Chapter 3: From Jedi to Mando
__________________________________________________ _

Ten years after what happend on Nar Shadda.

I am hunting, my strill at my side. I see a young animal, separated from it's mother. Perfect. I look down at the strill, he is looking at the calf. I smile. "Oya, Mirdan." I whisper. The strill takes off, dispatching it's prey with a single, swift bite to it's neck.

"Kandosii, Mird'ika! Good work!" As I pet him I hear crunching coming up behind me. I turn around. "Hello buir." I say. "Hello ad'ika. You and Mirdan have done exelent work. But I don't think we need that one. We have enough already." "Oh, I know. This one is for Mirdan." "Then lets get going." I follow Sencu to the hut, Mirdan pulling the calf with him.

Thirteen minutes later...

"Mmmfff." I say. "Thank you for the compliment, ad'ika." Says Sencu. "You know, I still haven't given you your Mando name. And I think you deserve it." "Thank you, buir!" I say. "Your welcome, ad'ika. Now, usually when we Mandos adopt, we give the adoptees their armour when they get their name. Since I am not one to break tradition: Here is your armour." I look at it gleefully. "This armour was once mine. You may customize it however you wish." "Thank you, buir!" I say as I run towards my room to try it on. "Wait!" I look back at that word. "I still haven't given you your name yet." "Oh." I say. "I see that you will have a great future as a Mando. Because of that, I give you the name Venku. It means positive future." "Venku Ordo." I say to myself. "It's great, buir!" I then proceed to run up the stairs to try on my armour.

As I am trying on my armour, I hear a yell from down stairs. I quickly put on my helmet and I run down the stairs to find Sencu on the floor with a hole in his chest. I go over to him and I check his pulse. Gone. I stand up and look around. I see a yellow light in the distance. A lightsaber. I run after the Jedi with the speed of a ship in hyperspace. I soon catch up to the Jedi. The Jedi turns around and I see that she is my old master. I quickly kick her into a tree. As she hits it, her lightsaber falls from her hand. "Hey, thats mine!" I say. "It can't be." She replys. "That saber belonged to my old apprentice." "Yeah, me." I say as I take off my helmet. "D-Dane?" "Wrong!" I say as I grab her neck and push her up the trunk of the tree. I hold her there with my left fore-arm as I eject my knuckle-plate vibroblade. "I am Venku Ordo. You just killed my father, Sencu." "He.. Can't be... Your... Father... He.. Is a... Mandalorian." She says between gasps of air. "He adopted me! Therefore, I AM MANDALORIAN!!!" I use the force to summon my lightsaber to me. I put the emitter to her stomach. "Lets see how you like it." I activate the lightsaber, and watch her scream. The screams die down and finally stop, to be replaced by a final gasp of air. I look around to see Mirdan looking at me. He and I both look at my old master. "Oya."

Quote:
rc-2212payback has requested a review for this thread via automatic private message.
Uh, I didn't mean to do that.

Kyr'am Galaar has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

Does anyone actually read these?

Last edited by Bee Hoon; 07-06-2009 at 07:40 AM.
Kyr'am Galaar is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 07-06-2009, 07:42 AM   #2
Bee Hoon
ngom ngom ngom
 
Bee Hoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,269
Forum Veteran Veteran Fan Fic Author LFN Staff Member Helpful! 
Merged posts because I am like that ;o If you really don't want machievelli to review, I suppose you could PM him. However, I don't see why you would want to do that as he gives really useful constructive criticism



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 07-06-2009, 08:55 PM   #3
Kyr'am Galaar
Junior Member
 
Kyr'am Galaar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 428
The way of the Bounty Hunter: Part 1
_________________________________________

Give in? Yeah right! These Bounty Hunters have obviously never came into close contact with a Mandalorian before. I grab the hair of one Weequay and bring his head into contact with my fully armoured knee. I hear the crack of bone, and I let go. I shoot my Verp at a the biggest Gammorian I've ever seen. He drops dead, I turn to a Trandoshan and hit him hard with my elbow. He falls to the ground. "Why were you trying to kill me?" "The Jedi put a bounty for 4 million creds on your head." "Well. Big mistake on their part." I tie his hands and feet together with thin strips of beskar. I then stuff a modified and obviously illegal thermal detonator into his mouth, and set it on countdown. As I walk away I think to myself: They are getting desprate. Very desprate indeed. I walk into a cantina just as the det explodes.


Does anyone actually read these?
Kyr'am Galaar is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 07-07-2009, 10:36 AM   #4
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,824
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Read


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > The Life of Venku Ordo

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:46 PM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.