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Old 03-12-2010, 08:08 PM   #1
leXX
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Stupid people

Got this email from a friend, and thought I'd share the laughs.




UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester


BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm

Stewart White: Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant: Strong.

Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis

Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.


BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark : For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?



UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?


GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER)

Phil: What's 11 squared?

Contestant: I don't know.

Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant: Is it five?


RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard: Which American actor was married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump.


RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. .. ..

Richard: He makes bread . .

Contestant: Er . ....

Richard: He makes cakes . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?


LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .


NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question: What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific.


ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?


JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller: Japan.

Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er ...... Mexico ?


PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.


DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant: No.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er. ... ..

Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant: Blimey?

Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..

Contestant: (Silence)

Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . .. .

Contestant: Walked?


THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.


LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant: Jewish.

Presenter: That's close enough.


STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus.


Being human totally sucks most of the time.
Videogames are the only thing that
make life bearable.
- Anorak's Almanac, Chapter 91, Verses 1-2

Add me on: XBL | PSN | Last.fm | Steam

Last edited by leXX; 03-12-2010 at 08:13 PM.
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Old 03-12-2010, 08:31 PM   #2
Kjølen
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HAH. See? Your people aren't that much smarter than us!


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―Kjølen

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Old 03-12-2010, 08:33 PM   #3
leXX
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Yes, unbelievably there are actually stupid people in England.


Being human totally sucks most of the time.
Videogames are the only thing that
make life bearable.
- Anorak's Almanac, Chapter 91, Verses 1-2

Add me on: XBL | PSN | Last.fm | Steam
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Old 03-12-2010, 08:43 PM   #4
Kjølen
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Well, you ARE pretty close to America, after all. Tucked between Canada and Mongolia like that.


"Kjølen is a pretty cool guy. 'e doesn't afraid of anything and 'e doesn't anything about anything."
―Kjølen

* Ye Olde Harbour * Aresen *
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Old 03-12-2010, 11:13 PM   #5
Darth Avlectus
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Ok, compared to I'm sure many university intellectual types I'm probably a moron...but still, I mean how could you miss some of these questions? ...Seriously?

Considering that U.K. (and many other nations) follows USA like a river follows a sea, you'd really have to NOT be paying attention to miss some of these.

Others I am just astounded at the lack of basic cognitive ability to deduce and put 2 and 2 together.

Lastly, most amusing is how some are practically hit over the head with the answer and STILL miss or can't guess. rofl
They wouldn't know what a snake was if it slithered up their toilet and bit them square in the arse. I'm dying of laughter at some of these.
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Old 03-12-2010, 11:35 PM   #6
Totenkopf
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reminds me of first part of this pathetic showing:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANTDkfkoBaI

Funny how people can't take hints.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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