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Old 04-05-2010, 01:13 PM   #1
Tysyacha
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Help Stop Bullying with Pepsi Refresh!

[blatant plug ON]

When I was in school, even college, I was bullied almost every day. It was mostly due to the fact that I have a disability (cerebral palsy), which is brain damage due to a lack of oxygen at birth. Unfortunately, my fellow classmates showed an almost complete lack of understanding, or even human empathy, when they encountered me. I often found myself in the quandary of "is it better to be bullied or ignored?" Both hurt equally. Bullying needs to stop.

That's why my supervisor and I have applied for a grant through Pepsi Refresh to create and implement a K-12 curriculum about bullying that SPECIFICALLY includes people with disabilities--as teachers and students! Please visit this link, sign up to vote, and do so every day during April:

http://www.refresheverything.com/refreshouroutlook

You might also want to check out my blog at http://tysyacha.blogspot.com

Thank you so much for your support, fellow comrades on LucasForums!

Sincerely,
Tysyacha

[/blatant plug OFF]
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Old 04-05-2010, 03:03 PM   #2
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I'm sorry to hear about the bullying you suffered I cant believe that you had to endure it even in college - where you would imagine people to be more mature. As a physical therapist, I have had quite a lot to do with people with CP, mainly in the post op rehab phase of things. One of the funniest guys I've ever met in my entire life was this young kid with CP I was working with after some lower limb surgery he had. He used to hop around on his crutches, chatting up nurses, lady ambulance officers - they all loved him!

I've subscribed to your blog - make sure you keep updating it !!

mtfbwya


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Old 04-05-2010, 03:04 PM   #3
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I'm sorry to hear about the bullying you suffered I cant believe that you had to endure it even in college - where you would imagine people to be more mature.

Ive subscribed to your blog - make sure you keep updating it !!

mtfbwya
lol what college did you go to



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Old 04-05-2010, 03:18 PM   #4
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lol what college did you go to
I'm not sure what is was like in other faculties, but there were no such idiots in the Faculty of Medicine/Health Sciences I studied in. Kids are a different story, and that's up to parents and teachers to sort out.

Thankfully, I have never encountered anyone of adult age that would think its funny to victimise someone with a disability.

Seeing that you are not surprised to find there are such douchebags in college makes me worry for the college you go to jmac

Seeing you are our forum clown, perhaps it's this place?

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Old 04-05-2010, 03:24 PM   #5
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It was a very uptight religious school, and here are some of the names my college bully called me:

"spoiled brat"
"baby"
"overly dependent on others"
"selfish"
"a master of manipulation"
"oversensitive"
"you take everything I say out of context"

Ad nauseam. Thanks for signing up!
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Old 04-05-2010, 03:46 PM   #6
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Having dealt with bullies in school and at work (both past tense, I'm currently in University and unemployed), I do feel obliged to support this. I'd personally prefer to take a more aggressive stand against bullying, but I can see why it wouldn't go over well. I have Asperger's, which was mistaken for ADHD when I was younger, so I've always been a bit awkward around people, and I've been picked on for it by idiots, even if they don't why I'm like that. Also, I'm nowhere near as open about being bisexual, though given my luck (or lack thereof) with people that way, it doesn't make much difference.

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Old 04-05-2010, 03:56 PM   #7
Jae Onasi
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When I was growing up, there was far more tolerance of bullying than there is these days, sort of the 'oh, kids will be kids'. It's nice to see that it's finally getting recognized as the problem it is. We need to teach kids at a young age that abusing others is wrong. If we don't teach them that, how will they learn otherwise?


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Old 04-05-2010, 04:31 PM   #8
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A lot of people blame the parents as well as the schools when it comes to bullying. This blame is not misplaced, but what about this "dog eat dog" world in which we live? Our society worships competition, wealth, and "climbing to the top" while ignoring the others at the bottom. Call me a "pinko", but I think our social environment has something to do with bullying, too. If it's not condoned, bullying is at least passively encouraged.
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Old 04-05-2010, 04:33 PM   #9
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I detest bullies. That's the story with me. I have been bullied myself in grade school mainly because I am overweight and some people made fun of me for being smart though I had more people who wanted me on their team in terms of academics.

I currently work for our Services to Students with Disabilities office here on my university campus and I interact on a daily basis with students who have a range of disabilities such as learning, mental and physical. The number one rule we have that we follow is to treat our students as equals. I have been around disabled people most of my life, my aunt being one.

I agree with Jae that it is time to step up to the plate and take bullying as a serious issue. Did anyone remember Columbine here in the States? It is a serious problem and one I don't condone. Tsy I applaude your efforts to lead such a campaign. Kudos.

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Old 04-05-2010, 04:44 PM   #10
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Thank you so much, and you know what? On my campus, we didn't have a Disability Services Office because the university was too small. I felt like an outcast--the only one--having to talk to a DORS (Department of Rehabilitation Services) counselor about my tuition bills instead of a "regular" representative from the Financial Aid Office. I didn't want to be "special" in a negative way anymore, and I can only remember one other student who had a visible disability besides me (she used a wheelchair). I felt weird...
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Old 04-05-2010, 04:48 PM   #11
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I have been bullied at least once every single year I was in school, and I'm a junior right now. You guys saw that article about Phoebe Prince, right? Bullies are not only a problem, but a menace. Even though I was never officially diagnosed, I'm really do believe I was in a depression last year due to excessive bullying. Honestly, I can't believe bullies are humans. They take joy in belittling others to make themselves feel like gods. They're nothing but scum bags.


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Old 04-05-2010, 04:58 PM   #12
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^^^^^^^
Agreed.
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Old 04-05-2010, 05:00 PM   #13
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I think everyone needs to remember that bullying goes on in adult environments like the workplace as well, It's not something that ends simply because you get older.

Personally I don't believe bullying will ever end since It's part of "the human condition" or whatever you would call it, It's part of human nature to try and dominate others (not saying this applies to everyone though I believe it does manifest itself in at least some way, even extremely mild forms). It goes hand-in-hand with racism as well.

Hope I don't come off as too pessimistic

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Old 04-05-2010, 05:05 PM   #14
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Sorry to hear about that, Tysy.

I've been fortunate enough to be homeschooled, so being bullied isn't really a problem other than the occasional crap I recieve from my brothers. But that certainly is a great cause that I gladly voted for. I'll subscribe to your blog when I get the chance. Best of luck to you and your supervisor on earning that grant!

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Old 04-05-2010, 05:06 PM   #15
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No--you're not being too pessimistic, and as for dominating others, I've discovered that you CAN win (get promoted over someone else, claim victory in a game, etc.) without bullying the other person or making him/her feel like crap. Bullying shouldn't be a part of winning, or trying to "come out ahead" in whatever you're trying to do. Play it fair and square, and you make the world a better place. Play "dirty pool", and you make it dirty.
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Old 04-05-2010, 05:41 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jae Onasi View Post
When I was growing up, there was far more tolerance of bullying than there is these days, sort of the 'oh, kids will be kids'.
Don’t know about this, if anything where I was raised it seem to be less tolerated. My family had the rule if you were bullied at school you better fight back or you were going to get your butt wiped when you got home. Only ever remember being bullied at the start of 1st grade and 6th grade when we moved to a new town. The kid who attempted to bully me in 6th grade is still one of my best friends today.

Voted


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Old 04-05-2010, 05:43 PM   #17
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You're really lucky! Did s/he ever say why s/he attempted to bully you?

BTW: Your female Elf is GORGEOUS!
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Old 04-05-2010, 05:46 PM   #18
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New Kid at school always gets bullied.


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Old 04-05-2010, 05:50 PM   #19
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<snipped>

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Call me a "pinko", but I think our social environment has something to do with bullying, too. If it's not condoned, bullying is at least passively encouraged.
I don't know why you think that you would be regarded as a socialist/communist for thinking this. It is actively encouraged, or at least it was when I was a kid. Authority figures would either ignore it or even join in the fun and every type of "help", including therapy, was geared towards convincing the victim that bullying should be tolerated and that they somehow deserved the treatment that they were being subjected to. Victims were forcefully discouraged and even convinced that there was something fundamentally wrong with them if they dared to express the desire to want to fight back. It's like the goal was destroying a person's self-esteem so that they would remain hapless victims for the rest of their lives.
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I think everyone needs to remember that bullying goes on in adult environments like the workplace as well, It's not something that ends simply because you get older.
That it does. At least as an adult a person has legal rights and doesn't have to put up with it if he/she doesn't want to. Kids only have the rights that their parents allow them to have, and if their parents are impressionable idiots that go along with the program because they care more about not rocking the boat than they do about their own child's emotional well-being they're screwed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pho3nix
Personally I don't believe bullying will ever end since It's part of "the human condition" or whatever you would call it, It's part of human nature to try and dominate others (not saying this applies to everyone though I believe it does manifest itself in at least some way, even extremely mild forms). It goes hand-in-hand with racism as well.
As long as I'm allowed to defend myself and my interests without having to endure the hypocrisy of being regarded as a troublemaker or a psycho, then I have no problem dealing with certain people's childish and irresponsible lack of self-control at all.

Of course, we all know that it doesn't work that way, though, which is why my regard for humanity is in the toilet.


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
-Toker

Last edited by jonathan7; 04-05-2010 at 06:21 PM. Reason: Removed Flamebait -- j7
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Old 04-05-2010, 05:57 PM   #20
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I totally agree on the part about therapy trying to convince the victim that something's wrong with THEM. If the VICTIM is the problem, we won't have to change OURSELVES or our WONDERFUL SOCIETY *cough*. Just convince the bullying survivor that they should "laugh it off" or "ignore it", and everything will be just hunky-dory for everyone...
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Old 04-05-2010, 06:00 PM   #21
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I'm convinced that this policy has lead to countless suicides and murders, along with untold, unnecessary suffering.


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
-Toker
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Old 04-05-2010, 07:02 PM   #22
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Bullies are not fun. For the past few years (not so much in middle school, really), I've had to put up with an excessive amount of bullying for not swimming with the current. It's a massive pain in the ass; ignoring it doesn't help, asking them to stop doesn't help, and responding in kind doesn't help.

Last semester, I nearly decked one of the kids for making fun of me nonstop, the whole freaking year. Trying to hit him elicited more of a response than doing nothing. [/rage]

At any rate, there aren't a lot of paths left to be taken when it comes to bullying. Telling a teacher sometimes helps, but when dealing with high-school kids...

Best of luck in your grant, Tysyacha!
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Old 04-05-2010, 09:47 PM   #23
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In the case of Phoebe Prince, it doesn't seem like the administrators and teachers did much of anything to help stop the bullying. Thank you, Litofsky, and bless all of you who have gone through bullying before. This "rite of passage" should be condemned to oblivion.
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Old 04-05-2010, 10:03 PM   #24
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Thank you so much, and you know what? On my campus, we didn't have a Disability Services Office because the university was too small. I felt like an outcast--the only one--having to talk to a DORS (Department of Rehabilitation Services) counselor about my tuition bills instead of a "regular" representative from the Financial Aid Office. I didn't want to be "special" in a negative way anymore, and I can only remember one other student who had a visible disability besides me (she used a wheelchair). I felt weird...
Interesting you say that. I know that under California law due to Title IX (I think) that instuitions must provide services to people with disabilities. I know our students aren't forced to make use of our services but it's there if they need it or want to use it. Perhaps what would really help is you get a campaign launched to create something like the SSD office I work for at your university. If you have enough people on board with it, something should come out of it.

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Old 04-05-2010, 10:10 PM   #25
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Last semester, I nearly decked one of the kids for making fun of me nonstop, the whole freaking year. Trying to hit him elicited more of a response than doing nothing. [/rage]
It sucks when it comes to violence, but when parents and teachers fail at addressing the problem, what else is left to be done?

Unfortunately bullying still occurs in the adult world too, especially in industrial and corporate workplaces.

I think it is really important that people suffering at the hands of others have people they can confide in. Suffering in silence is a recipe for disaster.

mtfbwya


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Old 04-05-2010, 10:29 PM   #26
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Agreed again. As for college, I flunked out twice--once at the school I'm talking about, and another time at a state school. I just can't hack it, I guess. I've found out that surviving college has very little to do with intelligence and a LOT to do with "playing games" and "fitting in". The bullying I experienced went very well with both colleges' atmospheres.
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Old 04-05-2010, 11:39 PM   #27
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^Hm. Have you ever noticed a sort of "mental block" or a repeating pattern of self-defeating behavior that prevents you from succeeding?


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
-Toker
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Old 04-06-2010, 12:08 AM   #28
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A mental block, I definitely had--especially since I was trying to major in Spanish. :P
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Old 04-06-2010, 12:20 AM   #29
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I totally agree on the part about therapy trying to convince the victim that something's wrong with THEM. If the VICTIM is the problem, we won't have to change OURSELVES or our WONDERFUL SOCIETY *cough*. Just convince the bullying survivor that they should "laugh it off" or "ignore it", and everything will be just hunky-dory for everyone...
Sorry I missed this earlier. I experienced the same thing, unfortunately.

This is precisely why I firmly believe that psychotherapy is a fraud.


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
-Toker
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Old 04-06-2010, 12:24 AM   #30
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you both just went to ****ty therapists fyi



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Old 04-06-2010, 12:46 AM   #31
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Would that they were ****ty.

Unfortunately, they were all too good at what they did.


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
-Toker
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Old 04-06-2010, 01:40 AM   #32
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Hmmm sounds like a better use of pepsi refresh than my colleges idea, stopping drunks from being "murdered" by arguably one of the worlds greatest serial killers. Or if you're not an idiot, stopping drunks from falling into the river.



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Old 04-06-2010, 10:55 AM   #33
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Bad news, guys. We're 92nd in the overall running, and only the top 2 projects are going to get the 250K. Please keep on voting, because WE NEED HELP!!!! By the way, the 9 main students that bullied Phoebe Prince are going to be arraigned today. 3 of those 9 students are going to be allowed to skip the arraignment for some legal reasons I don't understand. Cowards! If I were accused of a crime this serious, I'd want EVERY opportunity I could get to plead my innocence, especially my first chance to answer the charges. What are those 3 and their parents thinking? Should they be let off the hook?!
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Old 04-06-2010, 11:38 AM   #34
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I think I was bullied at times when I was on elementary school. Can't remember any of it but I'm sure it wasn't pleasant. When I was in junior high, though, I remember being the bully. I never felt like a innocent pranks and stuff, but I would keep doing it for the sake of being funny. At high school I just adopted a "let's all be friends" attitude and found out that people will admire you more if you're the nice dude. In fact, I did even apologize to some people I knew I had bullied in the past.

I'm all for stopping bullying.


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Old 04-06-2010, 11:49 AM   #35
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It takes real courage to admit you were once a bully in this kind of thread. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and thank you a thousand times for realizing that bullying really isn't the best way to make new pals. It means a lot to me to hear you say that!
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Old 04-06-2010, 12:54 PM   #36
Tysyacha
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I know I'm being a real "courtesan" here, but could you please comment on my blog? I'm feeling a bit lonely in the blogosphere...Thank you so much! These are fledgling efforts.

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Old 04-06-2010, 01:55 PM   #37
Jae Onasi
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A mental block, I definitely had--especially since I was trying to major in Spanish. :P
Start with the beginning courses, perhaps at a community college. It's cheaper there, and Intro to Sociology and US History 1 are the same at a community college as they are at Harvard in that you're learning the same basic stuff. Then, start taking classes that really look interesting. You'll eventually keep taking classes in one particular field, and end up with a major that way.

Keep working on the bullying stuff. Just know that even though you've been a victim, and it sucks, you can either get depressed about it, or learn from it and be stronger. The experiences I went through in junior high made me a lot more empathetic. Know that at the college level, if you are still experiencing abuse, you need to go to the deans to get it fixed. There's no excuse for adults in particular to be doing that, and any threats of physical violence need to be reported to the police. Bullies in college need to grow up and get over themselves.


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Old 04-06-2010, 02:21 PM   #38
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Thank you for the wise advice, Jae. By the way, you bring up an interesting point...I did both (become depressed about it AND learn from my bullying experiences to become stronger), although the process is not so clear-cut, as in "first one, then the other". Sometimes I still have "flashbacks" about being bullied, so to speak, when my mind travels to that dark place where the bullies' words ring. It's like I'm reliving the moment. Does this make me psychotic or something? Has anyone else experienced this before?
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Old 04-06-2010, 02:37 PM   #39
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From school, no. From 10 years ago when it happened in the workplace, yes.

Actually, it's more about what I did to stop it, but I can't talk about that here.


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Old 04-06-2010, 03:11 PM   #40
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Actually, it's more about what I did to stop it, but I can't talk about that here.
I see now what you meant when you were talking about flamethrowers the other day.


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