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Old 10-16-2010, 11:50 AM   #1
The_Catto
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Star Wars: Imperium

Okay. This fic has been rolling around in my cranium for some time now, but I've never been able to even get a starting prologue let alone a bunch of chapters!
I'll try and add new chaps as often as I can, but I won't make any promises. Hopefully fortnightly updates.
Depends.
Anyways ... here's a prologue for you to digest!

================================================== =


On the plains of Dantooine, there was a soft breeze that rustled the blades of grass in an almost hypnotic fashion. The light from the moon shone down and her rays that had been cast out shone bright and true at the ground. Her smile however, was not enough to penetrate the aura of darkness that had intruded upon this one-was peaceful planet.

A man, hooded and cloaked stood in front of the slender build of a similarly dressed woman. They were standing in the ruins of the old and forgotten Jedi Enclave; the room in which they stood now had once been the Council Chambers.
The man took a step back and he hung his head low. “The Force is all but a memory to me now,” he said.

“That is a lie,” replied the woman. “You have merely turned your back and eagerly tried to forget that of which you have had your entire life. Certainly such a feat would prove to be close to impossible?”

The man nodded slowly, “close,” he replied. “But I have done well, I think. I do not want it again. Not now, not ever. It has caused me more pain and suffering than I would ever care to admit.”

The woman clicked her tongue impatiently. “Fool!” she hissed. “The Force did not do this to you! You have done this to yourself! Denial is the bitter wine you have forced down your own throat for all of these years. The truth, however, will be the remedy in which I shall make you believe. You will be as if a blind man beginning to see once again; sounds to a deaf person, becoming louder once more.

“Does that not interest you even in the slightest?” she finished, and stared through the eyes of the man.

The man defiantly stared back.

Yes, it did sound interesting, he thought. But after all what had happened, after everything the Jedi had taken away from him, was he truly ready to undo the renounce which he had so famously proclaimed only just a few years ago. Was he ready to unleash true justice - to take down the walls of his life and remain true to not only the Force but to himself also?

He looked away from the woman and closed his eyes. “Yes,” he said. “It is time for me to rejoin the Galaxy in its plight to rid of all impurity. I will be the light in the darkness. I will rekindle the flame of the Sith!”

“Such a profound statement!” the woman replied in a slightly mocking tone. Her voice softened when she continued however. “You have crossed the line now, Jonas of Coruscant. Wherever you shall go from here, we will be hunted. The Jedi, as strained and thin their numbers have become, will never rest until all Sith have been extinguished. Are you willing to turn on your once-were friends and teachers?”

Jonas looked to woman in front of him and smiled. “Indeed, I am,” he said.

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Old 10-16-2010, 12:06 PM   #2
CommanderQ
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Excellent prologue, BFA! It certainly has me hooked for the rest of the story, and on top of that, I couldn't find any grammatical errors Lookin' forward to the next installment!


you very much
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Old 10-16-2010, 01:58 PM   #3
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At first I thought the woman in the prologue was Kreia, but then when she started talking about "all Sith being extinguished", I was like, "That's not Kreia!" Good job on fooling me, because you sure had me there! Nice prologue, too.
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Old 10-17-2010, 12:11 AM   #4
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A short introduction, but it definitely accomplishes what a prologue sets out to do - you've now got a third person looking forward to more.

There are a few somewhat awkward sentences, mostly in the opening lines. This line in particular:
Quote:
The light from the moon shone down and her rays that had been cast out shone bright and true at the ground.
rubbed me the wrong way. Considering how clean and decisive the rest of the narrative is, this line reads to me like it was struggled through; like you 'settled' for it, rather than fighting to find a line that worked better.

As for the identity of the woman, I'm not convinced it's not Kreia, Tysy. She doesn't say that she herself wants to hunt down the Sith, just warns Jonas that the Jedi will. She definitely has a Kreia-ish vibe to her, whoever she is, which means she'll be a favourite character of mine regardless - assuming she continues to play a part, anyway.

Whenever you're ready, BFA, you've got three people waiting for more.
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Old 10-19-2010, 06:45 PM   #5
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'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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