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Old 01-04-2011, 01:38 PM   #1
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The story of Revan Darius

"Revan Darius, are you paying attention to what I say?" I looked up from the datapad I was holding and looked into my father's gray eyes. He looked annoyed. "Revan, I really grow weary of this." My father said. I quickly put away the datapad and looked at my father. His stance changed when he saw I was paying attention to what he sought to teach me, though he still looked with those eyes of him at me. "This is a serious matter, Revan. Firing with a blaster isn't just shooting around like a madman, but it contains focus and exactness." I looked how my father concentrated on the holographic target and shot him right between the eyes. I looked amazed as he gave me the blaster. "Now, you are a smart kid, Revan. So I know you will do this right..." He pushed me towards the place he stood. A bit clumsy I held the blaster in my hands, and when I fired, my blast missed the target. My father shook his head and sighed. "Next time try to pay attention...". Just when he was about to walk to me, I heard a noise, as did my father. It appeared to come from above, from the living room. "Revan, stay here." Of course I wasn't the kind of kid who listened to his father, so as soon as my father silently went up the stairs, I followed him and looked from behind a wall to what transpired. I saw some bounty hunter looking guys standing in the middle of our living room. As soon as my father saw them, he opened fire on them with his blaster. It was a short firefight, which became fatal for my father. I saw how one of the Bounty Hunters shot my father right in his heart. I wanted to shout, but I couldn't. I saw my father fall down on the ground, dead...

I opened my eyes and saw I was lying in a bed. "Oh yeah, it was just a dream..." I thought. But it was not only a bad dream, it was a bad memory which I tried to forget. My father was a Bounty Hunter, a very successful one. One day the Hutts put a price on his head, claiming him to be an Imperial Spy and Dark Jedi. And then that day came, it changed my life. From that day I became orphan, as my mother died in childbirth. We were not a poor family, but also not exactly a rich one. We had quite an apartment, located on Coruscant, but I lost everything that day, except for my life.
I stood up and looked around, remembering I was on the Berubian Blade, my friend's ship. I tried to remember how long ago that fatal day was, 3 or 4 years ago? About one thing I am sure, I was 16 then. I sighed and shook my head, trying to forget the memory as I took my clothes and put them on. "How did I got on this ship?" I asked myself, slowly remembering the events that took place the last few days. I remember I was on Coruscant, entering a small bar, drinking a bit too much and picked up a fight. "Yeah, but how did I got in *this* ship?" I asked myself again, now remembering Oratia Hera, an old friend which I always treated like my older sister, had contacted me. I asked her if she could perhaps pick me up and take me somewhere else. I got tired of seeing the same Urban landscape, day after day. She said she was on her way to Coruscant, for some kind of small assignment and that she could pick me up underway. I then remembered the talk we had last night. She asked me what I did since the death of my father. I remember I told her that I just wandered around Coruscant, trying to survive. I told her, that I had associated myself with some Lower city gangs, doing some small jobs for them. She said it wasn't exactly a good thing to do, but hey, I was all alone on Coruscant and I had no money. What did she expected me to do? The last thing I remember was that I and Oratia drank a bit too much Juma Juice and that I fell asleep in the main hold of her ship. " She must have put me here, kind of her. I better go and thank her for her hospitality." And off I went, going towards Oratia.

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"She will destroy you..."
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Old 01-05-2011, 12:26 AM   #2
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Kreia, I swear tears almost sprang to my eyes when Revan Darius' father was killed, although I didn't like him at the beginning because he seemed too harsh and unforgiving of Revan's clumsy blaster hold. Reminds me of that scene in "Road to Perdition" where the young son of the assassin says, "But what if I don't want to shoot the squirrel?" It's heartbreaking because he knows his dad will say he has to. Same with Revan's father.

I can't wait to read more of this, and here's a tip: Break up the text a bit more. Large blocks of text, like large blocks of hard cheese, are difficult to sink your teeth into.

More, please!
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Old 01-05-2011, 08:53 AM   #3
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I am glad you liked it, I am working on something else right now, but I will continue this story soon

"She will destroy you..."

Last edited by Kreia001; 01-05-2011 at 08:58 AM.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:33 AM   #4
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Very nice very few fan fics catch my attention but this I loved it so much I read it twice. Keep up the good work.
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Old 01-07-2011, 11:00 AM   #5
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'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

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