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Old 06-15-2011, 10:09 AM   #1
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Let's kill all the Belgians

Okay, this I thought was worth mentioning. An american author, Danny Wind, wrote a "children's book" called 'Let's kill all the Belgians: A Child's Guide to Genocide'. In this book, he explains how Belgians are evil beings who need to be exterminated (we eat brains and stuff), preferrably by dropping nuclear bombs on our country.

The reason for writing this book was, according to Wind, an annoyance with the lack of culture we Belgians have, apart from beer, waffles and chocolate. When it comes to music, artists, architecture and culture in general, Belgium has contributed nothing to the world. Well, any reason is reason enough to start a genocide, I guess.

He posted the transcription of his book on his blog. An excerpt:

Quote:
If Belgians had the chance, they would take over America and kill your mommy and daddy. They would make you learn Belgian in school and eat waffles three meals a day. You probably think that sounds good, but, trust me, you would get sick of it real quick.
[...]
If the Belgians came over to America, they would eat your puppy. If you don’t have a puppy, they would buy you one and then eat it. That’s how the Belgians roll.
Uhm, guys, if you do decide to buy this book for your children, could you please tell them it's meant as a joke? Just to be sure?

Oh, and look out, Swedes. It seems you guys are next!


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Old 06-15-2011, 10:26 AM   #2
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Belgium is culturally deficient compared to America? Psh.



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Old 06-15-2011, 10:46 AM   #3
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... I think that person is a racist bigot. Belgium people are cool.


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Old 06-15-2011, 10:48 AM   #4
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Belgium people are cool.
Indeed I am.


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Old 06-15-2011, 10:57 AM   #5
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Christ...Always an American..

Lol i joke, but still, bit too far.


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Old 06-15-2011, 10:58 AM   #6
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The peoples of any chocolate producing country should NEVER be harmed!!

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Old 06-15-2011, 10:58 AM   #7
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Quote:
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Belgium is culturally deficient compared to America? Psh.
Actually, we Americans have more culture. A whole lot of different cultures mixed up and regionalized. I wouldn't say it was better, just more of it.


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Old 06-15-2011, 11:03 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades View Post
When it comes to music, artists, architecture and culture in general, Belgium has contributed nothing to the world.
Perhaps not, but Belgium has always been the best place for Europe's regular grudge matches. Only now they're shouting across the EU parliament, instead of firing artillery across Flanders.

And if we killed all the Belgians, who would Europe's victorious armies ravish,loot and pillage from?






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Old 06-15-2011, 11:39 AM   #9
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Satire produced without heed to taste. Surprising.


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Old 06-15-2011, 12:09 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommycat View Post
Actually, we Americans have more culture. A whole lot of different cultures mixed up and regionalized. I wouldn't say it was better, just more of it.
I think he means Cultured as in enlightened or refined, as a pose to "Lots of different colored folks"


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Old 06-15-2011, 12:36 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades View Post
The reason for writing this book was, according to Wind, an annoyance with the lack of culture we Belgians have, apart from beer, waffles and chocolate.
Beer, waffles and chocolate, what more could anyone want. Perhaps to combine all three.
Show spoiler


Quote:
Pg. 19: After all the Belgians are dead, then we can get to work on killing all the Swedes.

Don’t even get me started on the Swedes.
Now this Danny Wind guy is upsetting me.
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Old 06-15-2011, 01:25 PM   #12
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eat waffles three meals a day.


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Old 06-15-2011, 03:33 PM   #13
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Eh, he's a troll obviously

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Old 06-15-2011, 04:00 PM   #14
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Rofl?




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Old 06-15-2011, 04:14 PM   #15
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Maria and Sjefke, both 14 years old and Belgian, were playing together in the attic.
Mother shouts up: 'Maria and Sjefke, what are you doing in the attic?'
'We're making love, mother'
'Then it is ok, but don't let me catch you smoking!'



I keed! I love you Belgians.... and your waffles!, though you can have Jean-Claude Van Damme back.. we're done with him now


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Old 06-15-2011, 04:42 PM   #16
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Belgian beer is terrific.


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Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
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Old 06-15-2011, 04:43 PM   #17
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though you can have Jean-Claude Van Damme back..
I don't know Timecop (1994) was fairly good. Although my appreciation for Timecop may have more to do with Mia Sara’s performance rather than Van Damme’s.
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Old 06-15-2011, 04:48 PM   #18
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Obligatory:



"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
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Old 06-15-2011, 05:18 PM   #19
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Besides, we're totally awesome. The movie In Bruges is set in Belgian's most awesome city and contains lots of great insults to our city! We've got a priest who taught at a Catholic university all the while coming up with the Big Bang Theory. We have balls of steel, I mean, the Atomium! Do not bombard us! Bombard the Dutch instead!


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Old 06-15-2011, 07:50 PM   #20
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When it comes to music, artists, architecture and culture in general, Belgium has contributed nothing to the world. Well, any reason is reason enough to start a genocide, I guess.
*Chokes on Belgian chocolate*
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Old 06-15-2011, 08:42 PM   #21
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Choking on Côte d'Or may very well be one of the best ways to die.


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Old 06-15-2011, 08:58 PM   #22
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Actually, we Americans have more culture. A whole lot of different cultures mixed up and regionalized. I wouldn't say it was better, just more of it.
The real world is not a game of Civ, and culture is not a stat.

In any case, Belgium developed the Flemish School, half the Franco-Flemish School, and the saxophone, as well as the (aforementioned) big bang theory.



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Old 06-15-2011, 11:19 PM   #23
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The author has clearly never tried a beer brewed by Belgian monks. Their craft alone makes Belgium worth having around!




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Old 06-15-2011, 11:43 PM   #24
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Book out now on Troll Publications.


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Old 06-16-2011, 01:43 AM   #25
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Oh, and look out, Swedes. It seems you guys are next!
OK, I was cool with the idea of Christmas every day, with double Christmas on my birthday, if Belgium was all that needed to get destroyed. But Sweden? Mr. Wind has gone too far.

Quote:
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Bruges ... Belgian's most awesome city
If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me; but I didn't, so it doesn't. Bruges is a ****hole.



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Old 06-16-2011, 03:25 AM   #26
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I wonder how many people this book managed to get on the Wikipedia entry for Belgian culture to make angry comments about.

1. Make bigoted comments on Belgium
2. Get political correctness brigade to research Belgian culture
3. ???
4. Profit!!


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Old 06-16-2011, 05:00 AM   #27
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Psh @ Sabre: I knew about Belgian chocolates before all of this

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Old 06-16-2011, 06:53 AM   #28
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Nuts, I better get me a atomic proof shelter build. I don't live in a fancy place Brugge like Miliades. x-D


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Old 06-16-2011, 07:42 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabretooth View Post
I wonder how many people this book managed to get on the Wikipedia entry for Belgian culture to make angry comments about.

1. Make bigoted comments on Belgium
2. Get political correctness brigade to research Belgian culture
3. ???
4. Profit!!
Heh, publisher Lulu.com decided to ban the book after complaints from our country. Which is stupid. Even if it's in bad taste.


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Old 06-16-2011, 09:57 AM   #30
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Aye, you're right, Bruges is an awesome place. And I was kindly surprised to find out about this. I honestly thought there wasn't much worth seeing in Belgium (other than the EU Parliament, which isn't that amazing anyway) and was doing it just because of my family roots. I can certainly picture myself returning but no can't do if peeps remove your country out of the equation!


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Old 06-16-2011, 07:57 PM   #31
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In any case, Belgium developed the Flemish School, half the Franco-Flemish School, and the saxophone, as well as the (aforementioned) big bang theory.
Charlemagne came from what is now Belgium. Just thought I'd say...



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Old 06-16-2011, 08:02 PM   #32
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And so did Holy Roman Emperor Charles V.


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Old 06-16-2011, 08:19 PM   #33
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Belgium is culturally deficient compared to America? Psh.
we got culture up the ass, ****stain



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Old 06-16-2011, 08:40 PM   #34
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Actually, we Americans have more culture. A whole lot of different cultures mixed up and regionalized. I wouldn't say it was better, just more of it.
I believe the word culture is not given the same meaning here.
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:15 AM   #35
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Waffles three meals a day? I for one would welcome our new Belgian overlords.


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Old 06-21-2011, 01:28 PM   #36
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Also, geese:

View page
YouTube Video


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Old 06-21-2011, 01:42 PM   #37
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Wait, being proficient in the arts of beer, waffles and chocolates is a GOOD thing right?

So the Belgians win?


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Old 06-21-2011, 03:59 PM   #38
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Old 06-21-2011, 09:36 PM   #39
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Just as long as chocolate, waffles and beer and maybe some of their awesome ham radio enthusiasts keep coming around, Belgium is okay to trade with in my book.

However, don't send us any more gang leaders like Belger heading up Mad Gear. One annoying little belgian with a crossbow, jumping around like a dwarf on crack is already bad enough.


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Old 06-22-2011, 11:34 AM   #40
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Julius Caesar himself said the tribes of the Belgae (currently Belgium for the uninformed) were the bravest of all the Gauls. We were creating awesome sh** before the US even existed ;-)

Also it amazes me on a daily basis how many people think "Belgian" is an actual language.



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