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Old 06-17-2011, 01:38 PM   #1
Miltiades
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Dog sentenced to death by stoning

Apparently, the dog's the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted a rabbinical court of Jerusalem 20 years ago.

Quote:
One of the judges suddenly recalled that about 20 years ago, a famous secular lawyer who insulted the court was cursed by the panel of judges, who wished that his spirit would move on to the body of a dog (considered an impure animal by Halacha). The lawyer passed away several years ago.

Still offended, one of the judges sentenced the poor animal to death by stoning, recruiting the neighborhood's children to carry out the order. Luckily, the dog managed to escape.

Full story here.


Lawyer dogs are awesome and should not be harmed!


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Old 06-17-2011, 01:55 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades View Post
Apparently, the dog's the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted a rabbinical court of Jerusalem 20 years ago.

So.....just how senile were these guys again? :devsm0ke:


Full story here.


Lawyer dogs are awesome and should not be harmed!
That's redundant.......all* lawyers ARE dogs (we have a few in the family, btw)

*disclaimer--I exclude D3 from this as I've no wish to be banned.


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Old 06-17-2011, 02:05 PM   #3
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I'm sure a lawyer like D3 can pick your disclaimer apart and ban you anyway, if she wanted that is.


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Old 06-17-2011, 02:12 PM   #4
purifier
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades View Post
Apparently, the dog's the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted a rabbinical court of Jerusalem 20 years ago.




Full story here.


Lawyer dogs are awesome and should not be harmed!


Now that's just crazy! How in the hell is a lawyer gonna reincarnate as a dog?



A shark maybe..but a dog? GET REAL!


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:18 PM   #5
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Lawyers have ****ty karma


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Old 06-17-2011, 02:26 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Sabretooth View Post
Lawyers have ****ty karma
Good point. But still..it have to be a shark.


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Old 06-17-2011, 02:37 PM   #7
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Quote:
"It was ordered by the rabbis because of the grief he had caused the court"
Yeah, having a dog around creates a very sad atmosphere, it's obvious this caused the rabbis grief...

Quote:
They didn't think of it as cruelty to animals, but as an appropriate way to 'get back at' the spirit which entered the poor dog."
Eat that, lawyer-dog!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades View Post
I'm sure a lawyer like D3 can pick your disclaimer apart and ban you anyway, if she wanted that is.
Lawyered!

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Old 06-17-2011, 02:49 PM   #8
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Old 06-17-2011, 04:06 PM   #9
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I didn't think Jews believed in reincarnation.

Even so, we all know that Lawyers would be reincarnated as snakes. (It was the devil's lawyer who tempted Eve)

*flies away to study Judaism*

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Old 06-17-2011, 04:14 PM   #10
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Lawyers reincarnated? Don't you have to have a soul for that? *ZING*



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Old 06-17-2011, 04:22 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChAiNz.2da View Post
Lawyers reincarnated? Don't you have to have a soul for that? *ZING*

***Flags ChAiNz post for Darth333 to read at her earliest convenience. ****
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Old 06-17-2011, 05:42 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Lynk Former View Post
+11


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Old 06-17-2011, 06:03 PM   #13
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Up next, Tuscan officials sentence the sky to court-ordered therapy for being too blue


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Old 06-17-2011, 06:36 PM   #14
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Beware of the dog lawyer...

Quote:
Originally Posted by mimartin View Post
***Flags ChAiNz post for Darth333 to read at her earliest convenience. ****
Thanks mimartin...

Now, to (almost) all the others (ChAiNz, Totenkopf - *edit * and GTA:SWcity in particular):



(j/k )
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Old 06-17-2011, 06:39 PM   #15
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Before I continue I must interject something: Snakes? I LIKE TURTLES!!!

The Jews in my family aren't really sure either way about afterlife or reincarnation. Neither the natives of Amer--err the North American continent.

While having little to do with lawyers, well, lawyers are in the punchline of this next joke located here:

Quote:
New and Improved Hell
(From: Dave A. Wreski (dawreski@nic.com).)

Author unknown:

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I will sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"


I should note that the particular site is maintained by a Jewish fella.

Besides, if hellspawn women (a.k.a. succubi) are lawyers, there is nothing to worry about. They'll suck your soul away and you'll enjoy every minute of it.

And then they'll give your soul to me because we all know who I really am: I was the red skinned fella on the Iron maiden album cover on number of the beast.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 06-19-2011, 02:23 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynk Former View Post


...damn Internet, I can't tell what's true any more...
^This.

The secular lawyer sounds pretty awesome. Anyone who caused an obvious group of idiots enough grief that they cursed him to become a dog, and killed a dog they suspected was him, must have been a pretty cool guy.

Sucks for the dog though. And reinforces my belief that religion has no place in any form of serious decision-making.

Also, let's lay off on the lawyers, ok? Most I've met have been pretty cool, and I've never been victimized by one.

Telecom and insurance company execs, on the other hand, are soulless constructs of pure hatred and avarice, who exist only to make people's lives worse, and have figured out a way to do this to thousands of people at once.



--Too Dumb to Quit--
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Old 06-21-2011, 04:47 AM   #17
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I saw this posted elsewhere and thought it was a joke.

Apparently not.


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
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Old 06-21-2011, 07:49 AM   #18
SW01
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-13838347

Looks like someone somewhere took something the wrong way...


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Old 06-21-2011, 03:47 PM   #19
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Quote:
Luckily, the dog managed to escape.
They can't even do that right!


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Old 06-21-2011, 07:33 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Shem View Post
Quote:
Luckily, the dog managed to escape.
They can't even do that right!
Some will certainly say this was proof that the dog was the reincarnation of a lawyer...
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Old 06-21-2011, 08:53 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Darth333 View Post
Some will certainly say this was proof that the dog was the reincarnation of a lawyer...
It was I who reincarnated the lawyer into a dog with my special death ray OF DOOM! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!







....diabolical.

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Old 06-22-2011, 12:32 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynk Former View Post
It was I who reincarnated the lawyer into a dog with my special death ray OF DOOM! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!







....diabolical.
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