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06-17-2011, 01:38 PM
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#1
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Death... by Exile
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Bruges, Belgium
Posts: 2,779
Current Game: The Old Republic
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Dog sentenced to death by stoning
Apparently, the dog's the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted a rabbinical court of Jerusalem 20 years ago.
Quote:
One of the judges suddenly recalled that about 20 years ago, a famous secular lawyer who insulted the court was cursed by the panel of judges, who wished that his spirit would move on to the body of a dog (considered an impure animal by Halacha). The lawyer passed away several years ago.
Still offended, one of the judges sentenced the poor animal to death by stoning, recruiting the neighborhood's children to carry out the order. Luckily, the dog managed to escape.
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Full story here.
Lawyer dogs are awesome and should not be harmed!
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06-17-2011, 01:55 PM
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#2
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English spoken in What
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: What?
Posts: 4,724
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades
Apparently, the dog's the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted a rabbinical court of Jerusalem 20 years ago.
So.....just how senile were these guys again? :devsm0ke:
Full story here.
Lawyer dogs are awesome and should not be harmed! |
That's redundant.......all* lawyers ARE dogs (we have a few in the family, btw)
*disclaimer--I exclude D3 from this as I've no wish to be banned. 
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton
There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho
And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot
How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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06-17-2011, 02:05 PM
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#3
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Death... by Exile
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Bruges, Belgium
Posts: 2,779
Current Game: The Old Republic
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I'm sure a lawyer like D3 can pick your disclaimer apart and ban you anyway, if she wanted that is. 
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06-17-2011, 02:12 PM
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#4
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Forumite
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DisneyLand
Posts: 682
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades
Apparently, the dog's the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted a rabbinical court of Jerusalem 20 years ago.
Full story here.
Lawyer dogs are awesome and should not be harmed! |
 Now that's just crazy! How in the hell is a lawyer gonna reincarnate as a dog?
A shark maybe..but a dog? GET REAL! 
SITH HAPPENS
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06-17-2011, 02:18 PM
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#5
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Hello, Sound Only
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 9,296
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Lawyers have ****ty karma
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06-17-2011, 02:26 PM
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#6
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Forumite
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DisneyLand
Posts: 682
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabretooth
Lawyers have ****ty karma
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Good point. But still..it have to be a shark. 
SITH HAPPENS
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06-17-2011, 02:37 PM
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#7
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Junior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Back at LF
Posts: 378
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Quote:
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"It was ordered by the rabbis because of the grief he had caused the court"
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Yeah, having a dog around creates a very sad atmosphere, it's obvious this caused the rabbis grief...
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They didn't think of it as cruelty to animals, but as an appropriate way to 'get back at' the spirit which entered the poor dog."
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Eat that, lawyer-dog!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miltiades
I'm sure a lawyer like D3 can pick your disclaimer apart and ban you anyway, if she wanted that is. |
Lawyered!
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06-17-2011, 02:49 PM
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#8
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internet hate machine
Status: Administrator
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,545
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...damn Internet, I can't tell what's true any more...
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06-17-2011, 04:06 PM
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#9
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Chaotic Neutral
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Club
Posts: 1,631
Current Game: The Game
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I didn't think Jews believed in reincarnation.
Even so, we all know that Lawyers would be reincarnated as snakes. (It was the devil's lawyer who tempted Eve)
*flies away to study Judaism*
I, for one, approve of the Ewoks. They're a fine representation of the primitive natives doing better in their own environment than the invading white man. 
Take that, Avatar.
"Welcome to The American Political System, where everything's made up and the votes don't matter!"
America: Where you have the freedom to express your opinions, and I have the freedom to hate you for it.
*dons stetson and putters away on the motor scooter of patriotism*
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06-17-2011, 04:14 PM
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#10
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Brony 4 Life. Yo.
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Tennessee (USA)
Posts: 6,845
Current Game: Minecraft MP: PynCraft|Tekkit
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Lawyers reincarnated? Don't you have to have a soul for that? *ZING*
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06-17-2011, 04:22 PM
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#11
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NO GAMES
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: RIP LA 1982-2013
Posts: 5,876
Current Game: TOR/Skyrim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChAiNz.2da
Lawyers reincarnated? Don't you have to have a soul for that? *ZING*
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***Flags ChAiNz post for Darth333 to read at her earliest convenience. ****  |
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06-17-2011, 05:42 PM
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#12
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On the run again...
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Shhh
Posts: 3,092
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynk Former
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+11
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06-17-2011, 06:03 PM
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#13
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Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Aboard the Ravager
Posts: 859
Current Game: Oblivion & Sims 3
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Up next, Tuscan officials sentence the sky to court-ordered therapy for being too blue
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06-17-2011, 06:36 PM
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#14
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Administraterror
Status: Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: In my secret dungeon...
Posts: 8,286
Current Game: Showing how to make cookies...
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Beware of the dog lawyer...
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimartin
***Flags ChAiNz post for Darth333 to read at her earliest convenience. **** |
Thanks mimartin...
Now, to (almost) all the others (ChAiNz, Totenkopf - *edit * and GTA:SWcity in particular):
(j/k )
Prouver que j'ai raison serait accorder que je puis avoir tort. ~ Beaumarchais
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06-17-2011, 06:39 PM
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#15
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VN02 mix
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Vocaloid land.
Posts: 4,093
Current Game: the villain
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Before I continue I must interject something: Snakes? I LIKE TURTLES!!!
The Jews in my family aren't really sure either way about afterlife or reincarnation. Neither the natives of Amer--err the North American continent.
While having little to do with lawyers, well, lawyers are in the punchline of this next joke located here:
Quote:
New and Improved Hell
(From: Dave A. Wreski (dawreski@nic.com).)
Author unknown:
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I will sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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I should note that the particular site is maintained by a Jewish fella.
Besides, if hellspawn women (a.k.a. succubi) are lawyers, there is nothing to worry about. They'll suck your soul away and you'll enjoy every minute of it.
And then they'll give your soul to me because we all know who I really am: I was the red skinned fella on the Iron maiden album cover on number of the beast.
Love me, I win.
Hate me, I win.
Ignore me, I've got exactly what I wanted.
Love me or hate me, you're still thinking of me either way.
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06-19-2011, 02:23 PM
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#16
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I'm only worth a piano?
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 647
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynk Former
...damn Internet, I can't tell what's true any more...
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^This.
The secular lawyer sounds pretty awesome. Anyone who caused an obvious group of idiots enough grief that they cursed him to become a dog, and killed a dog they suspected was him, must have been a pretty cool guy.
Sucks for the dog though. And reinforces my belief that religion has no place in any form of serious decision-making.
Also, let's lay off on the lawyers, ok? Most I've met have been pretty cool, and I've never been victimized by one.
Telecom and insurance company execs, on the other hand, are soulless constructs of pure hatred and avarice, who exist only to make people's lives worse, and have figured out a way to do this to thousands of people at once.
 
--Too Dumb to Quit--
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06-21-2011, 04:47 AM
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#17
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Obusha
Join Date: May 2006
Location: My own personal Hell
Posts: 6,529
Current Game: Batman: Arkham City
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I saw this posted elsewhere and thought it was a joke.
Apparently not. 
"Mind your wants, 'cause someone wants your mind." -George Clinton
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06-21-2011, 03:47 PM
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#19
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FileFront Manager
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Vancouver, WA
Posts: 2,810
Current Game: Variations of games
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Quote:
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Luckily, the dog managed to escape.
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 They can't even do that right!
Interested in hosting a your KOTOR or TSL mod at FileFront? Send your mod HERE and we'll validate it as soon as we can! FileFront is a good way to get publicity for your mod as we get 1000's of visitors everyday. Is my LucasForum PM box full again? If you really need to reach me, PM me at YouTube under the username: JediShemL -- Watch my KOTOR videos! Download my mods from FileFront!
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06-21-2011, 07:33 PM
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#20
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Administraterror
Status: Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: In my secret dungeon...
Posts: 8,286
Current Game: Showing how to make cookies...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shem
Quote:
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Luckily, the dog managed to escape.
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They can't even do that right! |
Some will certainly say this was proof that the dog was the reincarnation of a lawyer...
Prouver que j'ai raison serait accorder que je puis avoir tort. ~ Beaumarchais
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06-21-2011, 08:53 PM
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#21
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internet hate machine
Status: Administrator
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,545
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth333
Some will certainly say this was proof that the dog was the reincarnation of a lawyer... |
It was I who reincarnated the lawyer into a dog with my special death ray OF DOOM! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
....diabolical.
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06-22-2011, 12:32 AM
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#22
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Hello, Sound Only
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 9,296
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynk Former
It was I who reincarnated the lawyer into a dog with my special death ray OF DOOM! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
....diabolical.
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