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Old 09-11-2008, 08:23 AM   #1
The_Catto
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BFA's Poetical Place for Poetical Things

I decided that I would do a thread where I would be posting my poetry for all the bored and insane to read. If they wanted to, of course :XP:
So yeah ... Here we are with the first of many.
Hope you enjoy.


Flying Free


A night so sweet,
in a cold so bitter.
The black tar,
the swerving car,
and sounds of care,
the sounds of a nightmare.

A spiralling slide down the clouds of stars.
Flying and walking, and running,
but no destination is ever too far.

Something so sweet,
turned to something so horrible,
nothing that I could not beleive.

I stood there,
for I could not walk even if I wanted to.
This pain was too much for me to bear,
and the time was near, this I knew.
My breath was longing to let go,
all I could think of though, is how much I loved you so.

I started to cry.
For I knew that I had lied.
But that was in the past, so true.
And I knew that I would never be able to convince you.
I started to fly.

I could see my own reflection in reality.
A shallow, helpless man completely full of deciet.
For a single moment, my mind was full of clarity,
but then despair came to me and took away my feet.

I cried out loud, hoping you could hear me.
Even though that I was somewhere you could not be.
My mind was made up.

I continued to fly, until I came to a blinding light.
I could hear a voice, but it was not your voice.
Something in that voice did not sound right,
and I knew that I had failed. But it was my choice.
I could see myself now.
Hollow, careless, shaken to the very core.
I flew my hands up in the air and cried out, "no more!"

The voice was caring, and it calmed my mind.
The peace and sweetness it was sharing made me walk in kind.

I looked at my wrist and there sat a golden watch.
I watched as the seconds ticked by.
I laughed softly as I realized I didn't lie.
But I just had loved you too much.

I awoke to a sound of screaming.
Of pain.
I could feel on my face the droplets of rain.
And I knew that I would be free.
And I could finally go to the place where I knew.
I knew that I could always be.
And where I knew that you would always be with me.





And just because I was EXTREMELY bored. (Seriously people, I cannot stress that word enough at the moment ) I thought I would post another thing just for a awesome treat


Me


I'm gonna go make a parachute,
I'm gonna go learn to play the flute.
I'm gonna go fly across the seas,
and be the person who I want to be.
Which is me.

Around, and around, and around,

I'm gonna go build a tiny bird house.
And I'm gonna fill it up with purple birds.
I'm gonna collect the leaves from my tree's,
outside,
and I'm gonna hang them all off the walls.

Around, and around, and around.
Just come around.

Criss cross up and down the flight of stairs.
Pick an orange hair from your head of hairs,
I'm gonna go sit outside and watch the green grass grow,
and when the flowers bloom, I will know.

I'm gonna go sing a melody,
I'll play my guitar and string a chorus,
or two.
And I'll be able to sing a song,
about the colour blue.

Around, and around, and around.
Just come around.
And you will see.

I'm gonna be a weatherman,
I'm gonna tell the clouds when to rain.
I'm gonna tell the sky when to be blue,
tell the wind what to do,
and see the sun and moon,
just do what they do.

Being the sun and moon.

Yellow, black, green and red.
Looking out the window on my bed.
Waiting for the alarm to ring,
not caring about a single thing,

Around and around, and around.
Just come around.
And you will see.
I'm gonna be the only person I want to be.
Which is me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whatchyu fink? xP

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Old 09-12-2008, 02:41 AM   #2
Rabish Bini
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Very nice, I like to write poetry every so often, but I find it hard to be metaphorical and rhyme at the same time. (Holy Crap! That Rhymed!!)

Very nice, I liked both, though the first one was better IMO.


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Old 09-12-2008, 09:36 AM   #3
Burnseyy
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I liked the first one, dramatic as it was. the second one was very cheery lol.

I was thinking of doing something like this, but I reframed.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 09-12-2008, 03:43 PM   #4
Endorenna
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I liked the first one, but the second one didn't appeal to me.

Of course, I'm not a poetic type, so I'm a lousy critic for this.


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 09-13-2008, 10:30 PM   #5
The_Catto
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The first one I wrote when I was VERY tired and falling asleep at the keyboard, x]

The second was something I wrote at a friends house. We were .... Mildly ... drinking ... and we decided that we would both write something that described both of us, yet described as each as a completely different person who has completely different interests.

[[Don't ask me about that logic because I'm STILL trying to figure it out ]]... And that was what I came up with.

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Old 09-14-2008, 07:27 AM   #6
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At least you can read your drunken writing. I wrote a poem once when I was drunk and the next day I tried to read it... it was simply unreadable lol.
But the bits I could read were terribly written anyway!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 09-14-2008, 02:46 PM   #7
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At least you can write somthing when your drunk. All I could do was scribble stick people and for some odd reason girraffes. (At least they look like girraffes)

Anyway, great stuff here BFA. I like the first one better, but both are good. Superior to any poetry I can write. (Though I'll admit I have not written in a long time.) I too am a lousy critic on these sort of things, but, I liked it, so thats the important thing. Good work BFA!

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 09-15-2008, 06:01 AM   #8
The_Catto
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This is for a friend of mine who has gotten diagnosed with a horrible sickness. It was inspired by a conversation I have had with her and the things that were said made me realize that some things are more important than even your own desires. She made me realize that life, no matter how much you feel like crap, and when life can knock you down and kick you, there is always someone there to help.
So, this is for her.

Hope you all enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it. It is one of my all time favorites.


Friend


A friend is what you'll always want,
A friend is what you'll always need,
A friend is someone who'll always be there for you,
To heal you, when you bleed.

That special someone who will listen,
When you need to talk,
That special someone who will always be there for you,
To carry you, when you fall.

A friend is what you'll always want,
A friend is what you'll always need,
Ever since the first day we met,
I told you this, and I'll tell you now:
A friend, in me, is what you'll get.


Last edited by The_Catto; 09-15-2008 at 09:21 PM.
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Old 09-15-2008, 10:32 AM   #9
Endorenna
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I really like that!


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 09-16-2008, 02:49 AM   #10
Rabish Bini
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Wow, that was really good, your best yet. Good work


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Old 10-02-2008, 01:16 AM   #11
The_Catto
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[[This is more like a set of lyrics than an actually poem but hey, they say lyrics without music is just bad poetry anyway, so why not post? Have had this one for a while but never really put any music to it. Might sometime in the future but yeah - until then - Hope ya's like it]]





- One Thousand Unanswered Questions -

Did you ever think, when you watched a movie, to skip straight to the end?
Or whenever you read a book, that it was all, just pretend...?
Are you happy with what you've come to be ...
Or do you criticize, and patronize, before you've even seen?

You can just sit here, and debate what's really wrong...
...And i'll just sit here, singing this sad song...

Cause this is a song, about the sadness of life,
Not the emo side, or the ugly side,
Just about that lonely ride down that lonesome road,
In the times when you didn't know where to go.

So tell me, do you like the words?
Tell me, do you like the melody?
Do you like strawberries and cream?
Do you like to know what I mean?

Cause I, don't wanna be here ... alone,
And I, don't wanna care, anymore,
About what I do, with my own life,
Just sittin' here with my six-string, tonight.

So, do you like where this is goin'?
Do you even know where it's been?
Sit on a fence, not takin' sides,
Do you even know what I mean?

I like the simplicities,
I like the story,
I like the dangers of life's remedies.

Paper and metal, strewn across the floor,
I don't like it, anymore,
All the little things that I make
Are all the little things that they take ...

You can just sit here, and debate what's really wrong...
...And I'll just sit here, singing this sad song...

Tell me do you like, the words?
Tell me do you like, the melody?
Do you like strawberries and cream?
Do you like to know what I mean?

Cause I, don't wanna be here... alone,
And I, don't wanna care, anymore ..
About what I do, with my own life,
Just sittin' here with my six-string, tonight.

Out on the front porch, just singin away,
The people pass by, wave and smile, every single damn day
They sing, "kid, you got a gift! You need to stick with it,"
I just smile, and apologize....

For singin' this sad song, all day long ...
Watchin' those movies,
Readin' them books,
As the people walk by, given those condescending looks....

As I finish singing this sad and lonely song,
I want you to get to thinkin' about what's really wrong.
Do you like the way, your life is goin', and where do you plan to go?
Take a chance, or take the fall ... It's the only right thing to do.

So, tell me do you like the words?
Tell me do you like, the melody?
Do you like strawberries and cream?
Do you finally understand what I mean?

Like the rest of you and all of you,
I don't wanna sit here, anymore,
Listenin' and singin', this sad, sad, song...

I'm just sittin' here, with my six-string, tonight...

Do you like the words?
Do you like, the melody?...


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Old 10-02-2008, 08:29 AM   #12
Endorenna
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Aw, that was sad (sniff). I liked it!


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 10-02-2008, 09:56 AM   #13
Bee Hoon
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I think that Me would make a pretty catchy song:P It reads like lyrics too!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 10-02-2008, 09:41 PM   #14
The_Catto
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^^^ I've made a really weird and funky sounding riff and I've been putting those words to it. I might post it on myspace or somewhere like that if I can get a person to sing it.
(I'm not the best singer, lol. Alright for back-up I guess, but not lead.

PS: Thanks for the comments guys. Appreciated as always

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Old 10-02-2008, 11:26 PM   #15
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Very nice, I once had a crack at trying to write lyrics for my mates song, didn't come out too good :P

I especially like this part:
"You can just sit here, and debate what's really wrong...
...And I'll just sit here, singing this sad song..."

Don't really know why, but it really moved me, good work


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Old 10-03-2008, 01:32 AM   #16
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Thanks, Bini.

I'm kind of like the opposite. I can write lyrics for other peoples music, or music to other people lyrics, but when it comes to my own lyrics or music ... I find it very, very, very hard to get anywhere.
I'm just weird that way, I guess.

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Old 10-05-2008, 08:20 AM   #17
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OK, it seems that the majority of what I am posting is seeming to be on the sad side. Well, this one is no different, but I'll post a more happy one very soon
Anyways...


- Silence Is A Friend -

I wander here and there,
In one place I cannot stay.
The news I hear, I cannot bear,
How can I forgive myself for what happened that day?

The wind is my true leader.
I go where she tells me.
I wonder if I'll ever feel better,
or if this is what I have to be.

Searching for what is found,
is a lot harder than what it seems.
When you can understand and finally come around,
the thing you seek is scared away by the screams.


"Begone and never come back,"
is my motto that was placed on me.
Everything that I now lack,
Is what you stole when I was able to see.

As cliche as my thoughts and dreams may sound,
I'm still hoping you'll finally come around.
But when I think to where I am bound,
your memory continues to push me down.

I wander here and there,
In one place I cannot stay.
The news I hear, I cannot bear,
How can I forgive myself for what happened that day?

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Old 10-05-2008, 03:01 PM   #18
Endorenna
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That was excellent!

BFA, I think you may be convincing me to actually like poetry. (There's something I never thought I'd say...)


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 10-05-2008, 07:16 PM   #19
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Very pretty. I think you just mite have inspired me to write my own poem.

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Old 10-05-2008, 08:54 PM   #20
The_Catto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Endorenna View Post
That was excellent!

BFA, I think you may be convincing me to actually like poetry. (There's something I never thought I'd say...)
I'm going to take that as one - if not the best ... and nicest - compliment I've ever received. Cheer's Endo!

@LordofTheFish: Hey, it's what I do!
Thanks for the compliment. It means a lot.




-------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, so I lied; here's one last sad one for a long while. I'm getting too depressed hahaha. Jk ... Anyways.
Again. Enjoy. Comment (You know I love to hear them ) and yeah .. keep in school. You know .. the usual.



- Wednesday Night -

Wednesday night.
Just another Wednesday night,
Wednesday night...

The dinner's getting cold,
the candle's burning low,
the bread on the table is getting covered in mold.
Something doesn't seem right,
he should've called by now.
She picks up the phone to call the station.
But stops and hangs up when she see's the lights come around.

Running to the front door,
she see's his friend walk up the path,
holding his hat in his hand,
his face showing nothing of his usual laugh.

The friend say's his sorry,
there's nothing anyone could've done.
There was an accident,
something about a hit and run.
It happened so fast he didn't feel any pain,
but the friend says he still tried,
as he pulled him out of the rain.

How could his happen?
He was just a poor working man.
The police was all he ever had,
he joined the Force just like his dad.
It just doesn't seem right.
She starts to cry as she falls into his arms,
on this cold, cold, Wednesday night.


Last edited by The_Catto; 10-06-2008 at 05:13 AM.
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Old 10-05-2008, 10:04 PM   #21
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Catchy.

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Old 10-13-2008, 04:01 PM   #22
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Sorry I haven't really commented on any of these poems - busy times, busy times.
Got to say, love Silence is a Friend - one of the better ones up there.

Keep it up BFA!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 10-15-2008, 01:24 AM   #23
The_Catto
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I know what you mean. Been really busy lately.
I do however have another poem that's ready for posting.
One of the only non sad ones I have so I thought that it deserved to be posted. Enjoy.

- Believe -

Did you ever believe,
that you would see,
all your dreams come true?

Did you ever think,
that you could do,
all the things you've put yourself through?

Nothing comes for free,
it's up to you to be who you want to be.
Believe in yourself and what you do,
and you will see the day where all your dreams,
come true.

Take a look inside,
try not to cry,
the sun will soon set.

And you think back,
to everything that you've done,
and you try to forget.

Nothing comes for free,
it's up to you to be who you want to be.
Believe in yourself and what you do,
and you will see the day where all your dreams,
come true.

Take a look around,
eyes wide as you see what you've found.
So take a look around,
and be who you want to be.

Nothing will last forever,
all your scars will heal.
Things will always change for the better,
you just need to believe.

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Old 10-15-2008, 07:10 AM   #24
Bee Hoon
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I swear, all your poems would make such awesome lyrics! :O I like it As you said, it's not sad, but I need a happy poem atm, so thanks



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 10-15-2008, 07:33 AM   #25
Endorenna
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Boy, you and Burnseyy just can't get away from the darker side of life, can you?

Keep it up! The lighter side of life is boring!


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 10-16-2008, 05:16 AM   #26
The_Catto
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I guess I can just relate more to the darker side than light. (Oh my god, how emo did that just sound? ... That was a rhetorical question, haha. Don't answer that, lol)

@Bee: I'll take a stab at writing a pure happy, no sadness related, poem soon See what comes out of it. Anyways. Should have another one up in a matter of time. [So, give it a day or so ]

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Old 10-16-2008, 02:37 PM   #27
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Bravo! Bravo! (If I knew a clapping smilie I'd put it.)

This one is definitely one of my favourites by you. Definitely envokes emotion, and in such a simple theme/structure too.

And yes, yes, it is true Endorenna... me and BFA have issues. But it just makes us that much more interesting when it comes to poetry!

Keep 'em coming, buddy.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 10-17-2008, 06:46 AM   #28
The_Catto
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^ ^ ^ hehehe, I love having issues They're so fun and interesting.
Cheer's Burnseyy. Always a pleasure hearing that from another poet. [[If I can indeed, call myself as such]]

Anyways.
New thing. Not really sure what to make of it. Not really sure when I wrote it. It was sometime last night. Looong night it was and this is something well ... yeah, I'll just let you all read it and tell me what you think about my insanity.



- The Randomization of Nothing -


The deep cataclysmic space
Of deception and fear
Spreading of the atrocity of pain
Throughout the case
The lifeless
Breathing
Trapped

Take a breath
And take the plunge
Something, but nothing awaits?
Here the calling
Winged specters of deep dreaming
The darkness imprisons
Placings of sanity
Taken away by insanity
Set free
Feel them dragging attention
Inside

Fear of fear
Every year
Wipe away that useless tear
Ropes, tie

Disappearing act
That's a fact
Falling from the sky
Running from the sin
Here you go now
You suffer from, nothing

Pain, hope, suffer
Disappear, teach me
It's time
Wait ... No
Go down that road

Once again, once more

No, not by
Nothing ...



And just to be nice ... here's another:



- Eternal Night -

She flies through the sky,
Singing the bitter serenades,
Caressing thoughts,
Of the men who come to be;
The sorcerers servants,
Of lust and vengeance,
The piercing of the thorn,
As it strikes through the heart,
Of the sickened misery.

The whites of her eyes,
Shed the layers of the black night,
Scorching under the stars,
Flickering still.

No sight will escape her gaze,
The nocturni flee in fear;
Her withering form,
Floats with grace,
From end to end of the sphere.

Her milky white skin,
The shadows of her shadows,
Ever deepening, leaving the soul stretched thin.

Singing softly she graces upon thee,
Taking all that is loved, away;
Forsaking thoughts,
The stench of the breath from decay,
Sneering,
Accentuating the pain from within.

The light of day is shown in her hand,
The trees, they wither and die,
For such things, have not, and will never come to be,
Until the hour is at hand, and dire is the need.

Knowing now, what she knew long before,
The face of death, shall ever carry such beauty,
The wings breath life,
Yet the fingers claw away at the depths of one's loneliness,
She takes thee away,
And spreads her seed, in the gardens of sanctuary,
Where thee shall forever lie.

Thy life was lost,
But thou it has been found,
The strands of her hair,
Flutter and twitch,
As the feeling of air, rushes through her desired touch.
As she sails,
From end to end of the sphere.


Again, like with the one above, I'll let you all read it and make what you will of it.
Enjoy! [In a devilish, sadistic way ... *insert evil laugh here* .. Ahem ... Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! *cough* ... Blergh! Stupid evil toncilitus! Go annoy someone else!]

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Old 10-17-2008, 08:42 AM   #29
Endorenna
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Hmm. I'm pretty sure those made my skin crawl! Let's see, what's another way to say that they're good...I'm kinda running out of lines, here...


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 10-17-2008, 09:05 AM   #30
The_Catto
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Hey, you can say they're good in any way you can think of. I never get tired of it. Even hearing the same lines over and over again.
Seriously. Ask anyone around here

Cheer's Endo. [I hope you don't mind me calling you that? If so, just let me knoooow ]
I have no idea what was going through my mind when I wrote these. I looked at them this morning and was like ... "Whaaaaaaaaaaat???"

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Old 10-17-2008, 09:20 AM   #31
Bee Hoon
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Mmm, I liked them both! The first two stanzas of "The Randomization of Nothing" were marvelously claustrophobic, while the rest of it evokes the fear of the void :O Eternal Night makes me think of a vampire--the incredibly preternatural type that resides in Anne Rice's books. Great job!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:11 PM   #32
Rabish Bini
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For some reason, when I read your last two poems, I think of Killswitch Engage, which isn't a bad thing, I love Killswitch, Good work


Yes
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:33 PM   #33
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The first is great!

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Old 10-18-2008, 06:58 AM   #34
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Wow, LOVED the last two poems. They were just so... poetic! (I know, that's the worst compliment to give to a poem).
I especially liked the latter... and especially liked these stanzas within that poem:

'No sight will escape her gaze,
The nocturni flee in fear;
Her withering form,
Floats with grace,
From end to end of the sphere.

Her milky white skin,
The shadows of her shadows,
Ever deepening, leaving the soul stretched thin'

Just wow. And of course you're allowed to be called a poet! If you aren't, then half of the poets alive today shouldn't be called such either.

Excelletttttt work!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 10-18-2008, 07:41 AM   #35
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That's it! I'm going to have to start doing this as well!

I guess they were right that poetry attracts the ladies... I thought that was just a saying, but you get lots of eyes fixed on you. Regal!
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Old 10-18-2008, 10:27 PM   #36
Rabish Bini
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth_Yuthura View Post
That's it! I'm going to have to start doing this as well!

I guess they were right that poetry attracts the ladies... I thought that was just a saying, but you get lots of eyes fixed on you. Regal!
You only just noticed?


Yes
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Old 10-20-2008, 01:12 AM   #37
The_Catto
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@Bini: Killswitch is pretty cool. I don't mind some of their stuff. Whenever I listen to them however, I just can't help but realize just how much they LOVE using harmonics. Like .. seriously.


I'm starting to run out of ways to say thank you, haha.
I guess I could go all egotistic and say, "Hey, I'm just doing my job ," but yeah, I won't

@D_Y: Everyone is starting to bring out the poetical side of themselves it seems ... Awesome. It'll be good to see some more poetry floating about the CEC!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth_Yuthura
I guess they were right that poetry attracts the ladies...
Hey, if you know how to use words, they can have a much more powerful reaction than anything else.

Well...

Sometimes ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnseyy
Wow, LOVED the last two poems. They were just so... poetic! (I know, that's the worst compliment to give to a poem).
Hey if they're looking and sounding poetical, it seems I might be doing something right! So I'm still going to take that as a very good compliment,

... I've had toncilitus for the past few days so instead of talking, I've been mostly writing so expect some more pieces very soon.

And once again. Thanks for the replies and compliments guys. It's really a good feeling to hear that people actually like what you're writing

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Old 10-20-2008, 08:00 AM   #38
Darth_Yuthura
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Originally Posted by Rabish Bini View Post
You only just noticed?
Hey, if you saw the words I chose in my fictions, you could see a degree of poetic license. The thing that makes the difference is that I describe every emotion to the fullest detail that I can.

Poetry is all a bit too cryptic for me.
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:50 PM   #39
The_Catto
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And while we're on the topic, just who are the ladies I've attracted? Eh? Eh? Eh?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New one, folks. Wrote this one just the other day.

- The Thorn On The Rose -

Sweet Rosie,
How fair the day?
Bare not the sickly,
keep your slender fingers at bay.

Sweet rosie,
shed your unwanted skin.
Sleep well with the faeries,
secure the damned soul that dwells within.

Six feet deep,
lay down the incursion.
For winters home,
a deathly vision.
Through the gates of sanctuary,
to the depths of fire, hell awaits.

Mixture of fear and sadness.
Bloody tears from the thorn.
It pierces you with millions of faces,
slowing the days before it was born.

With Rosie skin, my fair maiden.
Sweet bella of Eden.
Curse of the snake,
slither to the unholy grave.

Snow wind will fall,
death heeds the call.
The darkness within,
flow through my veins again.

My sweet little Rosie,
fair maiden of the wind.
Kiss my mind while you carry
my wounded soul that you left behind.


Last edited by The_Catto; 10-23-2008 at 05:13 AM.
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Old 10-24-2008, 03:59 PM   #40
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B-e-a-oooootifully written. :] I especially liked the stanza:

'Sweet rosie,
shed your unwanted skin.
Sleep well with the faeries,
secure the damned soul that dwells within.'

This poem reminded me of Inkheart, if you've read it. Just the descriptions and the 'fantasy' feel to it.

Love it, as usual!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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