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Old 12-08-1999, 07:47 AM   #1
Imladil
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Lightbulb Low Orbital Collision Theory

Hey, gang! Anyone else get a kick out of the whole Mars probe "Lost in Space" serial? As a hardworking taxpayer, I sure do! It's a chance for my tax dollars to buy me a chuckle, which medical science suggests can be a strong healing factor.

I feel better already!

We need theories, kids, to help out our poor, lost NASA friends. They seem to have lost yet another multi-million dollar spacecraft on a wide, barren expanse of undifferentiated pink frozen sand. they don't know if it's a communications thing, total crash and burn or what...all they know is they can't reach the thing by radio.

I can see Mars from my front porch, for God's sake, and I got the cell phone right here! What's the friggin' number?

I used Jedi mind powers to explore the issue with other means, and had a vision of the lander exploding in low orbit, before it made it to the surface. Whatever hit it, it was going hella fast and carrying enough mass to turn the lander into metallic puff.

So this is my theory, and it's the only one that can explain it. It was hit by the same bullet that killed JFK in Dallas back in '63; due to secret testing with microgravitational wormholes in those days, the bullet was accidentally sucked through a "test gate" right after it's miraculous trajectory in Dealy Plaza. Obviously, it came back into our space/time continuum just in time to wipe out that latest Mars probe, circle all the way around the planet several more times and wipe out the Polar Lander the other day.

That...is one HECK of a super bullet...!

More theories?

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"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

--Imladil the Magician

"Is it possible to alter time without altering space?"

--Little Jimmy

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Old 12-08-1999, 10:29 AM   #2
BatMan
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Two comments.

The price tag for the whole Mars Polar Lander project was about $165 million. That's a lot of 'frog skins' if you're not an NBA star. But when you stop to consider it, that is only a fraction of the cost for a single space shuttle mission that goes no farther than the distance between New York and Baltimore.

Despite what the Warren Commission, Oliver Stone or anyone else says, BatMan has the real story on the JFK assassination. As everyone knows President Kennedy was very sexually active. I mean, why not? He's a good-looking guy. Anyway, it seems that he had gone at least a week without any type of...um...well...let's say 'action'. He wasn't shot at all, but rather his head exploded from all that sexual tension!


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Old 12-08-1999, 12:16 PM   #3
decoy
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[stallion reply]WOW is that what happend, man how can i afoid that, do you think cooling down would help??? Like instead of 2 times a day, go to 1 time then to 1 time in the 2 day's and so on and so on. Man help me out here[/stallion reply]

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Old 12-09-1999, 12:01 AM   #4
Shootist
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It's Karma dude. Any organization that lets the launch sites of the Apollo program grow over with weeds and use the outlying buildings as janitorial storage and offices has it coming in MY book.
Instead of refurbishing this huge chunk of history and allowing tourists to visit, they dismantled the gantries, weeds grow unchecked and they look like a rusty ghost town.
Cape Canaveral should be a Mecca for us space junkies.

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ACK...Phht!!
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Old 12-09-1999, 02:58 AM   #5
Imladil
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Well, I've been there, at least, back in '84. I remember it was a big gift shop.

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

--Imladil the Magician

"Is it possible to alter time without altering space?"

--Little Jimmy

  you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-09-1999, 03:01 AM   #6
Imladil
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Lightbulb

Um, I just reread Batman's post, and I have something to add.

Q:"What are you doing in there?"

A:"Forestalling the inevitable."

...And that is absolutely as far as I'm willing to take it!
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Old 12-09-1999, 07:30 AM   #7
Shootist
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There is a large gift shop over there by the museum, but it's not actually on one of the sites where the lift offs were. The gift shop is located beside all the old rockets including a Redstone. Man, that had to take more than courage to climb into that thing. I never got to take one of the tours, I just worked out there re-installing the telecom for different launch requirements around and on Delta, Titan and Atlas sites.

------------------
ACK...Phht!!
Bill the Cat
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