Love Advice...

ZePhyR · 09-13-2002, 01:12 AM

[Update November 28, 2002]
If you guys have Girl/Love/Dating problems, post them here instead of making a brand new thread. This thread's been around for a while, and it's not just for my problems, but everyone's as you'll see if you read this entire thread. Everyone at this forum is more than willing to offer advice, and from personal experience, it's a good place for moral support if you need it. Thanks, ZePh.
[/Update]

I know I'll get some quick replies at these forums... *hopes*

Alright folks, here's the deal. Tomorrow I'm going to ask my friend to my school's homecoming dance that's coming up in a month or so. I heard that somebody else asked her already yesterday, but she said no. I was planning on asking her next week, but becuz of this, I decided I have to make my move quick. I share a locker with her, so early tomorrow morning I plan on going and buying flowers and sticking a note in there with them asking her to go with me. Is this a bad idea, or do you think it will work? Some of my friends have told me that it would be better to ask her face-to-face, and I agree, but there's no way to hide the flowers until I could get her alone tomorrow during lunch to ask her. Other buddies have told me that flowers aren't absolutely nessesary, but I'm sure they can't hurt.

Also, should I get a variety of flowers with a few rose buds in a bigger vase, or should I get a smaller vase with a dozen pink flowers in them? I'm kind of leaning towards the latter, but tell me what you think. I've asked girls out before, but I've never been this nervous. I've never liked anyone as much as her, and I want to make sure she'll say yes. Help me guys/gals.

Weapon X · 09-13-2002, 01:21 AM

ya know, you and i are kinda in the same boat, our dance is in 2-3 weeks and i asked this girl who had been asked by some other people, she said no to them and hasn't answered me yet, i get one tomorrow, she likes me, she told my friends, i like her, i told her to her face when i sat her down and explained to her that she needs to give me an answer before it's too late for me to find another date, i don't know how that went, i'm hoping it went good, but what i think you should do is GET HER ALONE!!! first of all, then second, just come out with it something like "*her name* I like you, I like you alot, i don't know if you noticed before but i do, and i was wondering if you'd go to the homecoming dance with me", or just ask her out like that, i'm a pretty big ladies man here and most of my techniques work so, depending on the girl, you should modify it a little bit and use it, it'll work unless she's waiting for someone else to ask her, in that case just say "well i'm here for you if he isn't"

Kylilin · 09-13-2002, 01:22 AM

The note idea is fine, I think it should work, just make sure that you are there when she sees the note. Also, forget a bunch of flowers, one single rose will do the trick, chicks usually dig red or pink. To them, a single rose is very romantic, the only thing that is more romantic/sweet than one rose, is a dozen, so its up to you.

Good Luck!!

ZePhyR · 09-13-2002, 01:28 AM

Okay, here's another thing... I was kind of planning on doing what you said, ani, about just telling her how much I like her like that, in fact almost verbatim to what you said. And then, how I planned it, I could pull out a rose and ask her. That could probably work too. The second idea about the flowers, the roses, what a dozen pink roses with the note in the locker. Would it be better if I somehow managed to keep the rose undamaged through first period, when we can then leave for an early lunch, and i can ask her then while we're alone?

Kylilin · 09-13-2002, 01:32 AM

Usually the florist can provide a box for the rose to keep it undamaged. So you could hold on to it until you ask her face to face. Either one of the ways described before should do nicely. Just remember to relax and have confidence.

*I'm starting to feel like Dear Abby over here*

Weapon X · 09-13-2002, 01:36 AM

make sure you get her alone though, then if she's debating/doesn't know, just say "i'm fine with a yes or a no, if yes, cool, in no, still cool, but no matter what i still wanna be friends" and pulling one rose out of nowhere would be a GREAT thing to do, don't get a bunch, that's just a waste, but, you should take her to lunch and be alone when you do it

XERXES · 09-13-2002, 02:40 AM

yea be sure its one on one when you ask her. If it helps try to hang out with her some before the event, but seeing as how its already close up i dunno.

Selaris · 09-13-2002, 03:05 AM

I know this has nothing to do with what you asked, but I recommend being who and what you are at all times. We waste so much time trying to be someone else for the people we think we like, that we fail to realize that we can't really be happy as someone else. Being happy is the whole point of being with someone. I think a lot of us, especially when we're young, wind up trying to rearange ourselves for someone else.

Anyway, I need to get down from my pulpit here...lol. Just be yourself, have fun with her, and try to keep your voice steady when you ask her, as if there might be one or two girls who you could go out with, and it's no big deal.

Also, when asking for advice, consider the source, the internet is the wrong place to ask for it, even if it does provide fast answers. I don't count in that though cause I'm...cool...*ahem* ... or possibly not =P

Absurd · 09-13-2002, 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Selaris
I know this has nothing to do with what you asked, but I recommend being who and what you are at all times. We waste so much time trying to be someone else for the people we think we like, that we fail to realize that we can't really be happy as someone else. Being happy is the whole point of being with someone. I think a lot of us, especially when we're young, wind up trying to rearange ourselves for someone else.

Anyway, I need to get down from my pulpit here...lol. Just be yourself, have fun with her, and try to keep your voice steady when you ask her, as if there might be one or two girls who you could go out with, and it's no big deal.

Also, when asking for advice, consider the source, the internet is the wrong place to ask for it, even if it does provide fast answers. I don't count in that though cause I'm...cool...*ahem* ... or possibly not =P

That's the best advice. What he just said - be yourself, relax, life goes on. And thing about the Internet is true - good for games, movies, and computer geek stuff - but bad for social advice.

ZePhyR · 09-13-2002, 04:08 AM

Look, I don't think everyone that uses the internet is a geek. Not even close. I didn't even think of that when I came here looking for advice. I asked all of my RL friends, and most of them think that they know the right way to go, but all of their ideas on this are different. I think a lot of what you guys said has helped me, and hopefully it has given me that extra confidence boost I need. I have a big time fear of rejection, and I just need to get past that. After school, I'm going to the volleyball game, and then to work, but I'll update you guys on what happens just in case you care.

[edit]I'll just have to learn to develop my own style I guess. Thx again fellas.[/edit]

Kstar__2 · 09-13-2002, 08:30 AM

i wish you all the luck in the world

*Sivy* · 09-13-2002, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZePhyR
I have a big time fear of rejection

i did too once, now i have a fear of losing the chance, never knowing, missed opportunties.
in other words, rejection is hard and not very nice, but you get over it.
seize the moment!

WolfmanNCSU · 09-13-2002, 12:53 PM

A note is a bad idea. Never send a note to do a man's job. Notes are easy to say "no" to, and it shows you are not brave enough to just ask her. You share a locker with her, so its gonna be easy to talk to her right. I mean, she is going to be right there first thing in the morning, so just ask her then.

Remember notes are bad. The flowers are not a must. But if you still want to get her some flowers, that is cool. Its really just up to you with whatever you want to do with that. Just dont spend a whole lot, or go over board. A single flower by itself can work just fine, or hand pick some nice flowers. That always works great too. However, remember you are at school, and she is going to have to keep these somewhere right. They need water, and is she really going to want to keep them with her all day long, or is she going to put it in the locker or something. In my opinion, the flowers are more of a hassle in this case. Just save it for now, and then get her something nice when you go pick her up on the day of the dance.

Be brave, relax. Don't be nervious. Easier said than done I am sure. I was somewhat nervious around women my freshmen year in HS, but things really have changed since then. Just be cool.

This is an easier task than you think. Just say hey whatever her name is, do you have a date for the homecoming dance yet? Would you like to go with me, it will be fun, we'll have a great time, it will be a blast, ect, ect. Tell her that you want to go to the dance, and you think it will be fun to go with her.

She'll probably say sure, because I am assuming she is your friends, and you do have a good time when yall hang out. If she says no, then say come on, why not, and then she why she says no. Nothing wrong in asking why they say no. It could be for a good reason. Lastly, if she does say no, its not the end of the world. You have lots of time, just ask another date. I have been turned down once or twice myself, so I just found someone else to go with, and had fun with someone else. Its no biggie.

Good luck with everything, I am sure you'll be fine, just dont get nervious. I hope some of these tips help a little. Have your own style.

FatalStrike · 09-13-2002, 01:46 PM

Bah! Highschool Romance

Frankly I was never without a date in highschool because I could always out do everyone when it came to the "time to ask" phase of life.

First let me say that asking her at school is a bad idea. Be it lunch or any other time still sucks. Try to get her to hang out after class, walk somewhere. While walking start talking to her and get a feel for her mood. If she is serious then come at her serious if she is joking then lighten it up. If she is depressed just reassure her about what ever is wrong and hold off on asking her. Tell her that you'll call her to make sure she is holding up alright later that night.

Once you have a plan of attack and know how you have to approach it, then make sure not to stumble all over yourself trying to be a romantic. People end up saying stupid cheesylines that don't fit the moment. Odds are if you like her you have some nice things to say without having to speak in a different way then you normally do. Point is don't go all Shakespear on her unless you normally sit under balconies in oreder to explain your feelings.

Let her know that she is looking good and that you have noticed. Something like "you look good today, something good happen to you?" then if she says yes you reply "yeah I figured there was a reason that you look even better then you normally do." if she says no she will most likely say "no, why" then your reply should be "Don't know, you just caught my eye today for some reason" to this her reply should be positive if not EJECT!!

Finally DO NOT go and say "Oh I like you so much, blah blah blah" save some for the sequel. Just make it seem very non threatening and just bust out with "hey this could sound crazy to you but how bout me and you go to thie dance comin up together" DO NOT PASS OUT.

If she says yes say "man that was nerve racking" and laugh it off. Its important that you not hide the fact that you are nervous, because trust me buddy, she knows.

The flowers are optional but if I were you I'd stay away from buying a bush and just stick with one. Its more romantic and is easier to hit her with as a surprise. Kinda hard to pull a rose bush from behind your back with out getting attacked by bee's anyway.

Hope this helps.

Agen · 09-13-2002, 01:55 PM

Or you could the classic spoon formula where you hang of the ceiling light and jump them Like a bat! and gouge out the rival's guts.
Ask Adcfanbill.

**Darklighter** · 09-13-2002, 01:56 PM

I think that was the best advice I have ever heard Fatal lol...thanks for the info too

FatalStrike · 09-13-2002, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Darklighter
I think that was the best advice I have ever heard Fatal lol...thanks for the info too

No problem!

Also whatever you do don't listen to Agen_terminato, I think he might be a little crazied

Agen · 09-13-2002, 02:19 PM

Are you putting down spoon advice!!!!! This has been posted many timesa and now someone with so-called real advice

turns it down!!!!!!!

XERXES · 09-13-2002, 02:20 PM

and if you start makin out with her (in private) grab her bewbies, that works wonders.

FatalStrike · 09-13-2002, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XERXES
and if you start makin out with her (in private) grab her bewbies, that works wonders.

I am sure women sit around hoping that you will touch their "bewbies"

No class = No ass

FatalStrike · 09-13-2002, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Agen_Terminator
Are you putting down spoon advice!!!!! This has been posted many timesa and now someone with so-called real advice turns it down!!!!!!!

O I C what the spoon is all about

You are a heroine addict! The spoon = where you cook the heroine. Sorry it took me a while to understand your crazy post but I get it now.

So does it really make your teeth fall out?

Agen · 09-13-2002, 04:52 PM

*kal's fav evil smile*
Well jsut for you to know the spoon is the lost gem of the world which can take over minds and control the universe!!!! just getting people's votes with propaganda

LivingSacrifice · 09-13-2002, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XERXES
and if you start makin out with her (in private) grab her bewbies, that works wonders.

***bewbies***? hehehehehehe

That always works when I try it, I mean, thats what I did the last time I asked this girl out and she said yes. We went to the park to talk and I grabbed her "bewbies" Next thing I know, we were married and had 2 kids

*lol* go figure...

To tell the truth, lots of good advice from strike, just be yourself. That is what a girl looks for. Not someone fronting, turns them off.

I would like to hear what leXX has to say about this also.

Peace

Agen · 09-13-2002, 04:59 PM

Yeh, being yourself and confidence is the key. (coudl also try the spoon idea

) Making- Yourself confidence

Clem · 09-13-2002, 05:06 PM

i have been single for <mumble mumble> and feel i have no place in this thread

BUT

im gonna say sumthing neway

having many female friends ..... (2's many right?)

and not having read the other comments

the note and flowers idea .... is cool ... for this occasion maybe a single rose? ... but some girls would rather u ask em straight .... depends on the girl

Kstar__2 · 09-13-2002, 05:14 PM

haha, i love the "bewbies" part! LMAO

*Sivy* · 09-13-2002, 05:14 PM

well this would be what Wayne would say,

I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

it's good advice

ZBomber · 09-13-2002, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XERXES
and if you start makin out with her (in private) grab her bewbies, that works wonders.

What if there ae no "bewbies"?

Agen · 09-13-2002, 07:43 PM

XERXES · 09-13-2002, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FatalStrike

I am sure women sit around hoping that you will touch their "bewbies"

No class = No ass

im talkin after you are past that point and begin to make out.....
past the point where you already know you have her.

Quote:

What if there ae no "bewbies"?

uh...wait a few years

ZePhyR · 09-13-2002, 10:21 PM

She said yes guys. I have to go to work now, but I'll tell you how it went when i get home.

*Sivy* · 09-13-2002, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZePhyR
She said yes guys. I have to go to work now, but I'll tell you how it went when i get home.

nice one!

XERXES · 09-13-2002, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZePhyR
She said yes guys. I have to go to work now, but I'll tell you how it went when i get home.

go you!

Absurd · 09-13-2002, 10:49 PM

Just don't knock her up.

Been there done that.

Better to just go to public places and drink milk-shakes.

***Rogue Nine*** · 09-13-2002, 10:51 PM

Good advice.

Tyrion · 09-13-2002, 10:52 PM

To reinact a South Park episode...

boo-bie

oo

booby

() ()

booo bi!

OO

BEWBIE!

ZBomber · 09-13-2002, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tyrion
To reinact a South Park episode...

boo-bie

oo

booby

() ()

booo bi!

OO

BEWBIE!

mmm... plactic boo bie!
Plactic V china?

Jedi Spy · 09-14-2002, 12:06 AM

Ok, first off the worst thing you can do in these sort of situations is ask for advice on an internet forum

I realise alot of these people have good intentions but they dont know the girl and dont know you and it can have disasterous consequences.

Another thing is...not meaning to worry you or anything....but is it really worth taking this risk that will ruin your friendship? Sharing a locker and stuff she sounds like your best friend...what if she says no? that will be the end of your friendship

Not meaning to worry you just being realistic.

Forget the flowers. Save a single red rose for a first date or at the dance.

Or how about since she is your friend you ask her to go as friends and if the moment seems right tell her how you feel then

Again i dont want you to take my advice too seriously because this is the internet and your setting yourself up for a fall but i would like to wish you good luck anyway and i hope you get lucky

Guardian Omega · 09-14-2002, 12:34 AM

He's already suceeded in his task, Jedi Spy. Heheheh, I'm glad I don't have to worry about that stuff in 8th grade and I'm not planning to get a date, there's things better than that in my opinion. But from what I can tell, you people are giving good advice. In case I change my mind, I'll come here!

Jedi Spy · 09-14-2002, 01:11 AM

Well i didnt see that, congrats man hope it goes ok :P

Doesnt mean to say my advice isnt good

8th grade? pah. You must start early if you want to be a casanova my young padawan