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Old 09-14-2002, 06:30 PM   #1
Tyrion
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Twisted sayings thread

Here you can post any quotes that you made up or have been said before,but make sure they are twisted...

- Make a man a fire,keep him warm for a day. Put a man on fire,keep him warm for the rest of his life...

- Please contact the surgeon general,the army, and the president before giving Kal-El viagra...

- Spam may cause dizzyness,loss of sight, banning, resetting post counts, lost of sanity, and diareah. Please consult your doctor and admin before spamming.

- I see Paris,I see france, I have obi's underpants.

-Lexx has beauty, paw, and no bra!

- Me so horney





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Old 09-14-2002, 06:35 PM   #2
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yup................ nice thread

but i cant think of anything


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Old 09-14-2002, 06:43 PM   #3
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hamsters with forks shouldn't be trusted


the grass maybe greener on the other side, but so are the cows


it's better to be happy than sad
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Old 09-14-2002, 06:46 PM   #4
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oh wait "me so.........." no wait you have that one done....... ummmmmm I SERIOUSLY CANT THINK OF ANYTHING!!!


Click Here ---->http://www.****eyed.com/inside/million/million18.jpg<----Click Here

maybe thats why i cant think.........


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Old 09-14-2002, 06:48 PM   #5
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my heart is a broken mirror


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Old 09-14-2002, 06:54 PM   #6
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life is a cookie

amazing things never happen to fantastic people but fantastic things always happen to amazing people

tomorrow is another day

only by being insane will you know what being sane is like
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Old 09-14-2002, 07:10 PM   #7
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Killing a dog is like killing your best friend

If there is always a bigger fish......then.......WTF!!!


"This saber is your life!"
"I'm not buying you another one!"
-Obi Wan
"................................"
-Plo Koon
"I dont think its possible for the Sith to return without ME knowing."
-Mace Windu
"Boba board the ship!"
"Please dont hurt me Mr. Jedi Sir."
-Jango Fett
"Aaaaaggggghhhhhh" (gulp)
-Boba Fett
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Old 09-14-2002, 07:11 PM   #8
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there goes the monkey from his sleeve

The one who digs a hole for some one else will fall in it him/her self.

To find the dog in the kettle.

high trees catch alot of wind.


A good neighbour is better then a far away friend.


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Old 09-14-2002, 07:12 PM   #9
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"do or do not there is no tie......TRY, TRY, I MENT TO SAY TRY!"


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Old 09-14-2002, 07:16 PM   #10
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With mongoose feed in packs, you know there’s a storm coming

air is like glass, you can see through it, but don't try to breathe it
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Old 09-14-2002, 07:25 PM   #11
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keep an eye in the sail.


when the horses starting to sneeze,
The bees will milk the trees.


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Old 09-14-2002, 07:31 PM   #12
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pick a colour and stick with it

i am the walrus

jumping up and down on a computer might damage it
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Old 09-14-2002, 07:35 PM   #13
mima kake
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Don't sit on a nail.

If you see a butterfly, Eat the little basterd


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Old 09-14-2002, 07:36 PM   #14
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uh..... right......

Somebody shot my pony!


Last.FM - Ow, give up the funk
Let the truth of love be lighted
Let the love of truth shine clear
Sensibility
Armed with sense and liberty
With the heart and mind united
In a single perfect sphere
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Old 09-14-2002, 07:39 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by mima kake

If you see a butterfly, Eat the little basterd
lol,



if you see birds flying backwards, be warned, you may be travelling backwards as well.
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Old 09-14-2002, 07:44 PM   #16
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try jumping of a cliff singing "NEW YORK NEW YORK".


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Old 09-14-2002, 08:02 PM   #17
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What's the difference between a chicken?...one of it's legs is both the same...


"Yeah no one likes a smart ass, but we all like stars,
But that wasn't my intention, I did it for a reason..."
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Old 09-14-2002, 08:27 PM   #18
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one fine day in the middle of the night...
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Old 09-15-2002, 01:11 AM   #19
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the emu has feelings.
if you give a mouse a cookie, say bye to the cookie.
find a penny pick it up, then the rest of the day youll have...a penny.
apple, nipple, hungry.
nipple, apple, crap.
my dryers broken, I need you to fix the spring.


Taken down with hearts alive.
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Old 09-15-2002, 01:47 AM   #20
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Don't run from a sniper. You'll only die tired.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a pinky monkey named Spunky ran into the forest and chucked all the wood before the woodchuck could?

But this ass is more powerful than any ass I have ever encountered, master!


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"Yes. The pain you feel is your very essence, the essence of the crude animal known as Homo Sapien."

-Millions Knives
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Old 09-15-2002, 02:16 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lunatic Jedi
Don't run from a sniper. You'll only die tired.


Thats the funniest thing Ive heaard today.


Taken down with hearts alive.
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Old 09-15-2002, 02:25 AM   #22
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Pleasure to be of service, gorganfloss.


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"Yes. The pain you feel is your very essence, the essence of the crude animal known as Homo Sapien."

-Millions Knives
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Old 09-15-2002, 03:38 AM   #23
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Wherever you go, there you are!

When men were shorter, and lived near the water.

Never listen to a fat man play the tuba, always listen because you'll never know what you'll hear.

Jeezum Crow!
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Old 09-15-2002, 05:09 AM   #24
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The fun thing about death is, that it never ends.

It's better to have one bird in your hand,
Then a automatic-weapon against your head.

If water can clean things,
then why does fish smell so bad.


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Old 09-15-2002, 05:37 AM   #25
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Confusious say: -Man who smoke pot choke on handle.

ps best thread for ages.
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Old 09-15-2002, 06:09 AM   #26
Kstar__2
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Quote:
Originally posted by Darklighter
What's the difference between a chicken?...one of it's legs is both the same...
i really love that one!



+[size=0.5]http://kstar.deviantart.com[/size]
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Old 09-15-2002, 10:05 PM   #27
mima kake
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if a dog gets lost in the woods,
it will be hard to find him.


Like the world turns,
the butcher makes his meatballs.


My yoghurt is not your yoghurt
So don't use it.


When the dead walks the earth,
They will get tired some day.


When your woman comes into the livingroom,
You have to tighten the chain.

Better one woman on your face then none.

The cheese is coming out of my ears,
So don't try to say something.


Better luck next time,
when it's done.


When a cat starts to talk,
Its time to really think things over.


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Old 09-15-2002, 10:26 PM   #28
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Wise man say red fish fly in the winter

Beating around the brush is better than being hit in the face with a harlem globetrotter

Always resist the urge to wear your underpants on your head, it may kill somebody

I used to bowl when I was an alcoholic
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Old 09-15-2002, 10:26 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by Murdoch
Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Best Confusious Saying EVER!
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Old 09-16-2002, 01:01 AM   #30
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Need a lift? Then shove a jack up your arse?
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Old 09-16-2002, 02:53 AM   #31
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Confusious say:- crowded elavater smell differn't to midget


Nobodys prefect perfect
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Old 09-16-2002, 03:08 AM   #32
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who walk sideways through door is going to Bangkok.



http://linuxsupportdesk.net/pichost/...unaticJed1.gif removed [img] tags due to HTTP 401 response --tk102

"Yes. The pain you feel is your very essence, the essence of the crude animal known as Homo Sapien."

-Millions Knives
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Old 09-16-2002, 10:48 AM   #33
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PG13


Confusious say: Man with hand rub it all day long. Feel very good.


Taken down with hearts alive.
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Old 09-16-2002, 10:57 AM   #34
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Nobody can stand still concidering the earth is moving.




Why does things that are bad for you always taste so good.




If love is the answer then what is the question.


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Old 09-17-2002, 01:41 AM   #35
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One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

One was blind, the other couldn't see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralyzed donkey passing by
Kicked the blind man in the eye
Knocked him through a nine inch wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all

A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to kill the two dead boys
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

Don't sweat the petty things. Never pet the sweaty things.


Noob you are. Die you will.
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Old 09-17-2002, 01:43 AM   #36
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Old 09-17-2002, 01:51 AM   #37
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"To be or not to be" might i say... WTH?

"Play for the fun, not the Frag." *stares at Truthful liar*

"my console beets any PC" DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

cant think of any more but if i do i'll post.




"If you want a better economy, fire a democrat."
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Old 09-19-2002, 01:27 PM   #38
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drink 3 glasses milk a day or own a cow.




If you see some one gets a cut rom a knife let him/her bleed,
red is a nice collor.


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Old 09-19-2002, 09:03 PM   #39
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"People in glass houses sink ships."

"Don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen"

"A penny saved is worth two with a bush in it."

and my favourite:

"Why don't you make like a tree... and get the **** outta here!"


All quotes are from Doc, the bartender in "The Boondock Saints".
Amazing movie, I highly recommend it.


This key is to your kingdom, this key is to your heart...
Neither one a doorway, but both of them a part...

So one foot in front of the other...
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Old 09-19-2002, 09:19 PM   #40
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there once was a man from nantuckit, (expletive deleted)


lifes a bi*** and then you die!


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