half of spoof done so far

[whitedragon]

ok so far i got

the prolog
a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...oh never mind lets just get on with it.

*Gandalf rides on his carraige singing "Follow the yellow brick road" *

Frodo: Gandalf! You're back!

Gandalf: What about my back?

Frodo: You know what I mean! It is so good to see you!

Gandalf: So, my young hobbit, your infactuation has not ceased, I see.

Frodo: Pfft! Like that can happen! Anyway, on to more things,how is the world?

Gandalf: You know i cant tell you important things

Frodo: Well thats good to hear! Tell me, Will you be going to uncle Bilbo's birthday party?

Gandalf: They aren't bringing back that clown this year, are they?

Frodo: After last year, I doubt it!

*frodo gets off carraige*

Frodo: Well, see you later!

Gandalf mutters under his breath on a lose up shot: good riddance.......

*gandalf rides up to bilbos house and knocks on the door*

bilbo: oh do come in

*gandalf goes to the side of the door and opens it with his staff. a shotgun blast goes through the door and bilbo comes out with a shotgun and looks around*

gandalf: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

bilbo: oh hello gandalf i uh...thought you were a sackvillbaggins

gandalf: nevermind that do you have the old toby

bilbo: shhhhh later

*they both go inside*

bilbo: i need to ask you a question. do any rings ever talk to you

gandalf: so what do you have to drink

ring: eat at joe's eat at joe's eat at joe's eat at joe's

bilbo: yeah....by the way im going away and im takeing the evil ring with me

gandalf: just tea thank you

*later. bilbo gives his birthday speech*

bilbo: you all suck so bye

*bilbo dissapears*

frodo: ohhhhhhhhh boy

gandalf: ok got to run frodo

*afew days later frodo finds his house broken into*

gandalf: BOO

frodo: HOLY $#!+

gandalf: the ring is evil, thats why it talks

frodo: you hear it to, thank God

ring: HEY I HAVE FEELINGS TOO

gandalf:......yeah so i need to see the obviously evil saruman and get my ass kicked. you need to go to bree and make sure that if you hear tom bombadil shoot him

*they hear a noise and gandalf pulls sam out of thin air*

sam: ack gardening at night

gandalf: whatever. i need some one to loose frodo

sam: dont worry mr. gandalf i wont loose him

gandalf: thats not what i said

*all three are in a spooky part of the forest*

gandalf: so um bye

*gandalf takes out two empty halves of coconuts and starts banging them together as he galops away*

frodo: this is gonna be one long spoof

*gandalf meets radagast the brown*

gandalf: your not supposed to be in the movie

radagast: where are you going

gandalf: isengard

radagast: are you rideing on a horse

gandalf: yes

radagast: your useing coconuts

gandalf: what

radagast: you have two empty halves of coconut and your banging them to gether. where did you get them

gandalf: i found them

radagast: in the shire? the coconut is tropicle. this is a temperate zone

gandalf: LOOK ITS ELVIS

*gandalf slips away*

gandalf: saruman the dark lord whats his name...star man has found the ring in the shire.

saruman: and you dident notice it before. have you been smokeing old toby again.

*they go inside*

gandalf: WHAT YOUR JOINING SAMMEY

saruman: he said hed give me 5 bucks

*gandalf gets ass kicked and frodo, sam, mary and pippin*

pippen: SHROOMS

frodo: scary scream from man in black roab usually means to get off the road

*nazgul appears banging coconuts together*

nazgul#1: where is this person shire from the land of baggins. *sniff sniff* i smell shrooms.

ring: IM DOWN HERE YOU PUTTS

*nazgul goes after shrooms instead*

mary: it gets dark really fast around here

*nazgul chase hobbits to boat and frodo falls in water*

nazgul#1: HA HA HA HA HA HA

*hobbits go to pranceing pony and drink*

pippen: FOOD

mary: BEER

sam: SPOOKY MAN IN CORNER

*agenct all odds by throwing the ring in the air frodo gets it stuck on his finger*

sam, mary, pippen: ohhhhhhhhh boy

*frodo finds himself in weard shadow world*

sauron: peeek a boo

frodo: HOLY $#!+

*frodo takes off ring*

aragorn: do it again uh i mean come with me

frodo: can i ask you a personal question do you uh wash your hair

aragorn: am i scary

frodo: no

*scean changes nazgul stabing beds and finding out that the hobbits arent there*

nazgul#2: do you know if there are any ring makers in bree

*hobbits and strider get to weather top*

frodo:i hope you know strider that when you wander off where ever your going mary and pippen are going to do something stupid to attract evil.

aragorn: yes but i must rescue you hobbits in my own perticular...uh

sam: idiem

aragorn: IDIEM

nazgul#1: whats going on

nazgul#2: some migets are makeing smoke signals that say "baggins is here"

nazgul#1: im glad they know where that place is cause its not on the map

*nazgul attack hobbits*

nazgul#1: so do you guys know a mr. shire from...

sam: BACK YOU DEVILS

nazgul#1: ouch man thats harsh

*frodo gets stabbed*

nazgul#2: hey aragorn do you think that you could just scare us away like in the book

aragorn: sorry but i must fight you more uh...

nazgul#3: dramaticly

aragorn: DRAMATICLY

*aragorn + hobbits meet up with arwen*

sam: WOAH BABE-O-RAMA

arwen: so you dont wash you hair on journeys

aragorn: oh shut up

*nazgul try to ask arwen for directions*

nazgul#1: hi uh were lost

arwen: if you want him come and clame him

nazgul#2: dose he owe us money or something

*big wave shaped like horses sweep nazgul away*

all nazgul: HOLY $#!+

frodo: gasp choke cough

arwen: oh dont be such a baby

*and now we go to the happy land of rivendell*

gandalf: ah old toby

frodo: gandalf

*gandalf hides pipe*

gandalf: ok now time for flashbacks

saruman: embrace the power of the ring or embrace your own destruction!

gandalf: there is only one lord of the rings, and i cant remember his name...LOOK ITS TONY DANZA

*gandalf hitches a ride with the lord of the eagles*

saruman: gandalf?

frodo: your not makeing any sence

gandalf: fool of a took you know i cant tell you importent things

frodo: wrong hobbit

Elrond : Welcome to the Matrix, wait, I mean Rivendell, Mr. Anderson err uh, Frodo Baggins.

frodo: ohhhhhh boy

*legolas and unimportent elves arive. gimli and unimportent dwarves arive. boromir and old farts of gondor arive. boromir drops the shards of narsil *

boromir: oops

aragorn: im trying to read

arwen: all aragorn wants to do is read his book, he has no time for me

gimli: there there. hey do you want to play a game of hide the helmet

arwen: how do you play



*then other things happend and aragorn managed to finish "a catcher in the rhy"......meanwhile at elronds councel*

elrond: big bombad sauron has found ring and him mucho happey.

all:....what

elrond: you dont like my boss nass empression

all:..........

elrond: you have to take the ring into mordor and you all my die hororable deaths. any questions...gimli

gimli: how do elves walk on snow

elrond: any intelegent questions...boromir

boromir: can i borow the ring

elrond: no. so who wants to die

frodo: ill go. the ring is driveing me insane with repeatingthat damn poem

ring: everyone hates me no one loves me im gonna eat some worms

aragorn: you have my sword

legolas: and my bow

gimli: and my accent

gandalf: well i have nothing better to do

boromir: youll need some conflict for the story

sam: im not supposed to loose frodo

mary, pippen: youll need comic releaf

elrond: well at least we'll only loose one elf

gandalf: well elrond we cant screw up too bad

elrond: no gandalf your men are already dead uh i mean good luck

*annnnnd there off....first they try to go around the misty mountians*

gandalf: no we cant go that way

gimli: well that was a waste of time

*then they try to go on top of it*

gimli: how do elves walk on snow

legolas: its the shoes

gimli: cool. new balence

gandalf: no we cant go here eather

gimli: who wants to go to the spooky place

*all but gandalf raise hands*

gandalf: what have i gotten myself into

*they go to moria and find everyones dead*

gimli: i thought something was funney when i dident get any christmas cards for 60 years

*frodo gets violated by "the watcher in the water" and all get traped in the mines*

pippen: they still have malt beer here right...right???

gandalf: im lost

boromir: who put him in charge again

legolas: there arent any trees here

gimli: .....its a cave. i like it. its nice and snug on these sharp rocks

aragorn: dwarves are so weard

gimli: thats not what arwen thought when we played hide the helmet

aragorn; WHAT!!!

*aragorn starts chokeing gimli and gandalf remembers just in time then they see the great hall of dwarrowdell*

aragorn: dwarrowdell

gimli: dwarrowdell

gandalf: dwarrowdell

legolas: its only a model

all: shhhh

*gimli gets mopey over baliens death and gandalf finds oris long lost diary*

gandalf: "bought the new jedi knight 2 game and i can own dori any day on MP" *skips abit* "they have taken the bridge and the second hall. we have bard the gates but cannot hold them for long. drums, drums in the deep. we cannot get out. a shadow moves in the dark. we cannot get out....they are comming........P.S. if i get out of this i need to remember to pay gimli that 5 bucks i owe him.

*pippen attracks the preasence of evil and thus big fight breaks out*

gimli: were in my own country and the elf get the better fight sceans

peter jackson: yeah throw those rocks you hobbits

*frodo gets stabed but has dwarf mail to protect him*

gandalf: aww shoot uh i mean horray for dwarf mail

*balrog appears and chases them. gimli thinks he can make a 50 foot jump...right. balrog chases them to the bridge of kazad dum "dont you just love to say those words*

gandalf: YOU CANNOT PASS

balrog: hey your that wizard who stole my wallet

gandalf: uh....YOU SHALL NOT PASS

*gandalf and balrog fall into an abyss "bye bye" hobbits have a teary moment*

boromir: dont cry gimli

gimli: LET GO OF ME YOU OAF

aragorn: quit crying you wusses

gimli: i hope that was the horn of gondor that you were jabbing into my cheast

*they go to woods of lothloriean*

gimli: they say there is a great elf witch who lives in these woods

mary: ooooooo spooooky

gimli:but she wont get me, i have foxy eyes

haldir:the dwarf breaths so loud that...HOLY, jeese dwarf what did you eat

gimli:gaze into my foxy eyes elf

*haldir ignors gimli*

aragorn:forgive the company i travel with. they're all...well...stupid

*they meet galadriel*

all: TURN OFF THOSE FREAKING LIGHTS

galadriel: muwhahahaha scary arent i

*yada yada yada blah blah blah*

galadriel: fairwell frodo baggins. i give you this...shiney thing

frodo: where do you put the quarter

*companey gets to amon hen*

gimli: recover strength!? what do you mean by that!

legolas: alot of orcs are on the other side. can we go

aragorn: ummmmm no

*boromir fights frodo for the ring*

boromir: ITS NOT FAIR

*frodo dissapears and goes off to mordor with sam*

sam: im not supposed to loose you

frodo: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

*aragorn legolas and gimli kill half saurons army in woods, boromir gets killed and mary and pippen get captured "perfect end to a perfect day" they put boromir in a boat and bury him*

gimli: the boats stuck on a rock

aragorn: er

legolas: dont look at me, im not getting it

THE END

[Eldritch]

Elrond : Welcome to the Matrix, wait, I mean Rivendell, Mr. Anderson err uh, Frodo Baggins.

[whitedragon]

im editing it all the time btw

[Eldritch]

It would be easier and a whole lot less confusing if you didn't edit it. Just continue the story with new posts, don't worry about editing the old ones or people will quickly lose interest (like I have started to) .

[Taos]

WhiteDragon, that is very well done, detailed, and long!! You say it is only half done????

I like the game of "Hide the helmet!!"

[The Truthful Liar]

Funny. I see that you borrowed parts from each character on that other spoof site and put them together.

[Count Dooku 2]

Sorry... why are we talking about the utterly pathetic and useless Lord of the Rings here? I could not stand that film, it gave me pins and needles in my rear end, plus it was the most boring thing since someone said "Let's play Sharades with some old relatives!" after Christmas dinner. No acting talent, a rubbish storyline and much, much too long. I can't belive they are making another two... that only works with Star Wars, and even then it was only because the first was so successful, which is not the case with Lord of the bloody Rings!

When the next film comes out, nail me shut in a wooden box and mail me to Alaska please...

[SettingShadow]

LMAO.... realy funny..... LOL.....

[Eldritch]

Originally posted by Count Dooku 2
Sorry... why are we talking about the utterly pathetic and useless Lord of the Rings here? I could not stand that film, it gave me pins and needles in my rear end, plus it was the most boring thing since someone said "Let's play Sharades with some old relatives!" after Christmas dinner. No acting talent, a rubbish storyline and much, much too long. I can't belive they are making another two... that only works with Star Wars, and even then it was only because the first was so successful, which is not the case with Lord of the bloody Rings!

When the next film comes out, nail me shut in a wooden box and mail me to Alaska please...

You seem to be in the minority, here. The Lord of the Rings was a great set of books, and a good movie. It was nominated as Best Picture, had Best Actor nods, and several other nominations (some of which it won). As for it's rubbish storyline, you ARE aware it was the first part of a 3-part book, right?

I saw so many people walk out of the movie theatre not knowing that there would be two more and that would be how the first one ended... I heard stuff like, "That was pointless, they didn't even destroy the ring... what a stupid movie," and "Man, they really left it open ended for a sequel, huh?" I just had to laugh.
Also, i'm not sure where you're getting your information, but Fellowship of the Ring was very successful at the box office.
When the next film comes out, i'll be more than happy to nail you in a wooden box (with one tiny airhole) and ship you to Alaska.

[Count Dooku 2]

Please, would you?

Of course I knew that there would be two more parts! My brother is a great Lord of the Rings fan, and has all the books plus the DVD of the film. I just find it extremely boring, pointless and full of mystical, long words which I hear people mumble about when they have had too much to drink!

It's my opinion, anyway, so that just about ends this.

No hard feelings, I suppose you like the story, eh? Well... each to their own (or something like that...).

[Eldritch]

I wasn't objecting to your opinion - you are obviously welcome to it. I was only defending your incorrect point that the movie was not successful.

[Count Dooku 2]

Ah well... I don't really mind. I'm too tired to argue a lot, so I'm just going to say "fair enough, you were right."

[ET Warrior]

One comment on your spoof......it's too much funny. I know that may sound a little odd, but it is. It seems that every single line of that is attempting to be a joke, and that ends up overloading the story, and it takes away from all the other jokes and funny lines that have been said. I like it, but I would tone it down a bit. Add some parts that are normal, and space out your jokes.

[Count Dooku 2]

Clever, ET Warrior. I agree: if you space out the humour then each joke will have much more impact that if it was bunched together with tons more. It's still funny, but it's Lord of the Rings (arg!). Where is the Star Wars: Episode II spoof?

[Eldritch]

It's all bunched together 'cause there's a lot of cut and pasting that was done from other spoof sites.

[darthweaver]

that is well funny with the hide the helmet and then the wee eyebrow raising face. you should some more of them. maybe you could borrow more heaviley from that other spoof with all the elves conmpletly loving themselves cause that would be well funny

gimli: and my accent
i hut the ground at this bit. just do damn good and origonal

[whitedragon]

Originally posted by ET Warrior
One comment on your spoof......it's too much funny. I know that may sound a little odd, but it is. It seems that every single line of that is attempting to be a joke, and that ends up overloading the story, and it takes away from all the other jokes and funny lines that have been said. I like it, but I would tone it down a bit. Add some parts that are normal, and space out your jokes.

i never thought of that. and its kindof supposed to be that way that why its called a spoof but i will try and tone it down abit

[whitedragon]

Originally posted by Count Dooku 2
Where is the Star Wars: Episode II spoof?

ill work on that next

[whitedragon]

*gimli gets mopey over baliens death and gandalf finds oris long lost diary*

gandalf: "bought the new jedi knight 2 game and i can own dori any day on MP" *skips abit* "they have taken the bridge and the second hall. we have bard the gates but cannot hold them for long. drums, drums in the deep. we cannot get out. a shadow moves in the dark. we cannot get out....they are comming........P.S. if i get out of this i need to remember to pay gimli that 5 bucks i owe him.

*pippen attracks the preasence of evil and thus big fight breaks out*

gimli: were in my own country and the elf get the better fight sceans

peter jackson: yeah throw those rocks you hobbits

[SettingShadow]

lol that is pretty damn funny.