Im Done Im Finnally Done

[whitedragon]

with my spoof that is

the prolog
a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...oh never mind lets just get on with it.

*Gandalf rides on his carraige singing "Follow the yellow brick road" *

Frodo: Gandalf! You're back!

Gandalf: What about my back?

Frodo: You know what I mean! It is so good to see you!

Gandalf: So, my young hobbit, your infactuation has not ceased, I see.

Frodo: Pfft! Like that can happen! Anyway, on to more things,how is the world?

Gandalf: You know i cant tell you important things

Frodo: Well thats good to hear! Tell me, Will you be going to uncle Bilbo's birthday party?

Gandalf: They aren't bringing back that clown this year, are they?

Frodo: After last year, I doubt it!

*frodo gets off carraige*

Frodo: Well, see you later!

Gandalf mutters under his breath on a lose up shot: good riddance.......

*gandalf rides up to bilbos house and knocks on the door*

bilbo: oh do come in

*gandalf goes to the side of the door and opens it with his staff. a shotgun blast goes through the door and bilbo comes out with a shotgun and looks around*

gandalf: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

bilbo: oh hello gandalf i uh...thought you were a sackvillbaggins

gandalf: nevermind that do you have the old toby

bilbo: shhhhh later

*they both go inside*

bilbo: i need to ask you a question. do any rings ever talk to you

gandalf: so what do you have to drink

ring: eat at joe's eat at joe's eat at joe's eat at joe's

bilbo: yeah....by the way im going away and im takeing the evil ring with me

gandalf: just tea thank you

*later. bilbo gives his birthday speech*

bilbo: you all suck so bye

*bilbo dissapears*

frodo: ohhhhhhhhh boy

gandalf: ok got to run frodo

*afew days later frodo finds his house broken into*

gandalf: BOO

frodo: HOLY $#!+

gandalf: the ring is evil, thats why it talks

frodo: you hear it to, thank God

ring: HEY I HAVE FEELINGS TOO

gandalf:......yeah so i need to see the obviously evil saruman and get my ass kicked. you need to go to bree and make sure that if you hear tom bombadil shoot him

*they hear a noise and gandalf pulls sam out of thin air*

sam: ack gardening at night

gandalf: whatever. i need some one to loose frodo

sam: dont worry mr. gandalf i wont loose him

gandalf: thats not what i said

*all three are in a spooky part of the forest*

gandalf: so um bye

*gandalf takes out two empty halves of coconuts and starts banging them together as he galops away*

frodo: this is gonna be one long spoof

*gandalf meets radagast the brown*

gandalf: your not supposed to be in the movie

radagast: where are you going

gandalf: isengard

radagast: are you rideing on a horse

gandalf: yes

radagast: your useing coconuts

gandalf: what

radagast: you have two empty halves of coconut and your banging them to gether. where did you get them

gandalf: i found them

radagast: in the shire? the coconut is tropicle. this is a temperate zone

gandalf: LOOK ITS ELVIS

*gandalf slips away*

gandalf: saruman the dark lord whats his name...star man has found the ring in the shire.

saruman: and you dident notice it before. have you been smokeing old toby again.

*they go inside*

gandalf: WHAT YOUR JOINING SAMMEY

saruman: he said hed give me 5 bucks

*gandalf gets ass kicked and frodo, sam, mary and pippin*

pippen: SHROOMS

frodo: scary scream from man in black roab usually means to get off the road

*nazgul appears banging coconuts together*

nazgul#1: where is this person shire from the land of baggins. *sniff sniff* i smell shrooms.

ring: IM DOWN HERE YOU PUTTS

*nazgul goes after shrooms instead*

mary: it gets dark really fast around here

*nazgul chase hobbits to boat and frodo falls in water*

nazgul#1: HA HA HA HA HA HA

*hobbits go to pranceing pony and drink*

pippen: FOOD

mary: BEER

sam: SPOOKY MAN IN CORNER

*agenct all odds by throwing the ring in the air frodo gets it stuck on his finger*

sam, mary, pippen: ohhhhhhhhh boy

*frodo finds himself in weard shadow world*

sauron: peeek a boo

frodo: HOLY $#!+

*frodo takes off ring*

aragorn: do it again uh i mean come with me

frodo: can i ask you a personal question do you uh wash your hair

aragorn: am i scary

frodo: no

*scean changes nazgul stabing beds and finding out that the hobbits arent there*

nazgul#2: do you know if there are any ring makers in bree

*hobbits and strider get to weather top*

frodo:i hope you know strider that when you wander off where ever your going mary and pippen are going to do something stupid to attract evil.

aragorn: yes but i must rescue you hobbits in my own perticular...uh

sam: idiem

aragorn: IDIEM

nazgul#1: whats going on

nazgul#2: some migets are makeing smoke signals that say "baggins is here"

nazgul#1: im glad they know where that place is cause its not on the map

*nazgul attack hobbits*

nazgul#1: so do you guys know a mr. shire from...

sam: BACK YOU DEVILS

nazgul#1: ouch man thats harsh

*frodo gets stabbed*

nazgul#2: hey aragorn do you think that you could just scare us away like in the book

aragorn: sorry but i must fight you more uh...

nazgul#3: dramaticly

aragorn: DRAMATICLY

*aragorn + hobbits meet up with arwen*

sam: WOAH BABE-O-RAMA

arwen: so you dont wash you hair on journeys

aragorn: oh shut up

*nazgul try to ask arwen for directions*

nazgul#1: hi uh were lost

arwen: if you want him come and clame him

nazgul#2: dose he owe us money or something

*big wave shaped like horses sweep nazgul away*

all nazgul: HOLY $#!+

frodo: gasp choke cough

arwen: oh dont be such a baby

*and now we go to the happy land of rivendell*

gandalf: ah old toby

frodo: gandalf

*gandalf hides pipe*

gandalf: ok now time for flashbacks

saruman: embrace the power of the ring or embrace your own destruction!

gandalf: there is only one lord of the rings, and i cant remember his name...LOOK ITS TONY DANZA

*gandalf hitches a ride with the lord of the eagles*

saruman: gandalf?

frodo: your not makeing any sence

gandalf: fool of a took you know i cant tell you importent things

frodo: wrong hobbit

Elrond : Welcome to the Matrix, wait, I mean Rivendell, Mr. Anderson err uh, Frodo Baggins.

frodo: ohhhhhh boy

*legolas and unimportent elves arive. gimli and unimportent dwarves arive. boromir and old farts of gondor arive. boromir drops the shards of narsil *

boromir: oops

aragorn: im trying to read

arwen: all aragorn wants to do is read his book, he has no time for me

gimli: there there. hey do you want to play a game of hide the helmet

arwen: how do you play



*then other things happend and aragorn managed to finish "a catcher in the rhy"......meanwhile at elronds councel*

elrond: big bombad sauron has found ring and him mucho happey.

all:....what

elrond: you dont like my boss nass empression

all:..........

elrond: you have to take the ring into mordor and you all my die hororable deaths. any questions...gimli

gimli: how do elves walk on snow

elrond: any intelegent questions...boromir

boromir: can i borow the ring

elrond: no. so who wants to die

frodo: ill go. the ring is driveing me insane with repeatingthat damn poem

ring: everyone hates me no one loves me im gonna eat some worms

aragorn: you have my sword

legolas: and my bow

gimli: and my accent

gandalf: well i have nothing better to do

boromir: youll need some conflict for the story

sam: im not supposed to loose frodo

mary, pippen: youll need comic releaf

elrond: well at least we'll only loose one elf

gandalf: well elrond we cant screw up too bad

elrond: no gandalf your men are already dead uh i mean good luck

*annnnnd there off....first they try to go around the misty mountians*

gandalf: no we cant go that way

gimli: well that was a waste of time

*then they try to go on top of it*

gimli: how do elves walk on snow

legolas: its the shoes

gimli: cool. new balence

gandalf: no we cant go here eather

gimli: who wants to go to the spooky place

*all but gandalf raise hands*

gandalf: what have i gotten myself into

*they go to moria and find everyones dead*

gimli: i thought something was funney when i dident get any christmas cards for 60 years

*frodo gets violated by "the watcher in the water" and all get traped in the mines*

pippen: they still have malt beer here right...right???

gandalf: im lost

boromir: who put him in charge again

legolas: there arent any trees here

gimli: .....its a cave. i like it. its nice and snug on these sharp rocks

aragorn: dwarves are so weard

gimli: thats not what arwen thought when we played hide the helmet

aragorn; WHAT!!!

*aragorn starts chokeing gimli and gandalf remembers just in time then they see the great hall of dwarrowdell*

aragorn: dwarrowdell

gimli: dwarrowdell

gandalf: dwarrowdell

legolas: its only a model

all: shhhh

*gimli gets mopey over baliens death and gandalf finds oris long lost diary*

gandalf: "bought the new jedi knight 2 game and i can own dori any day on MP" *skips abit* "they have taken the bridge and the second hall. we have bard the gates but cannot hold them for long. drums, drums in the deep. we cannot get out. a shadow moves in the dark. we cannot get out....they are comming........P.S. if i get out of this i need to remember to pay gimli that 5 bucks i owe him.

*pippen attracks the preasence of evil and thus big fight breaks out*

gimli: were in my own country and the elf get the better fight sceans

peter jackson: yeah throw those rocks you hobbits

*frodo gets stabed but has dwarf mail to protect him*

gandalf: aww shoot uh i mean horray for dwarf mail

*balrog appears and chases them. gimli thinks he can make a 50 foot jump...right. balrog chases them to the bridge of kazad dum "dont you just love to say those words*

gandalf: YOU CANNOT PASS

balrog: hey your that wizard who stole my wallet

gandalf: uh....YOU SHALL NOT PASS

*gandalf and balrog fall into an abyss "bye bye" hobbits have a teary moment*

boromir: dont cry gimli

gimli: LET GO OF ME YOU OAF

aragorn: quit crying you wusses

gimli: i hope that was the horn of gondor that you were jabbing into my cheast

*they go to woods of lothloriean*

gimli: they say there is a great elf witch who lives in these woods

mary: ooooooo spooooky

gimli:but she wont get me, i have foxy eyes

haldir:the dwarf breaths so loud that...HOLY, jeese dwarf what did you eat

gimli:gaze into my foxy eyes elf

*haldir ignors gimli*

aragorn:forgive the company i travel with. they're all...well...stupid

*they meet galadriel*

all: TURN OFF THOSE FREAKING LIGHTS

galadriel: muwhahahaha scary arent i

*yada yada yada blah blah blah*

galadriel: fairwell frodo baggins. i give you this...shiney thing

frodo: where do you put the quarter

*companey gets to amon hen*

gimli: recover strength!? what do you mean by that!

legolas: alot of orcs are on the other side. can we go

aragorn: ummmmm no

*boromir fights frodo for the ring*

boromir: ITS NOT FAIR

*frodo dissapears and goes off to mordor with sam*

sam: im not supposed to loose you

frodo: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

*aragorn legolas and gimli kill half saurons army in woods, boromir gets killed and mary and pippen get captured "perfect end to a perfect day" they put boromir in a boat and bury him*

gimli: the boats stuck on a rock

aragorn: er

legolas: dont look at me, im not getting it

THE END

[ZBomber]

l...l...long!

I'll read it tommarow, I'm gonna finish my homework....

[TiE23]

I kinda stopped after when Gandolf sung Yellow brick road, is it suppose to be funny?

[Break_dF]

yeah...waaaay too much free time man...

[gorganfloss]

lol
That was hilarious.
Orin ownz Balin in JK2 any day...hehe

[whitedragon]

Originally posted by Break_dF
yeah...waaaay too much free time man...

ARE YOU TRYING TO INSULT ME!! YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO FINISH THAT!!!

[Break_dF]

So long that even your keyboard is tired of lower case letters?...

[Darth Talliusc]

beutiful work man, love the ending line for legolaus. heehee, too well crafted. keep it up and get a TTT version up soon.

[Taos]

I thought it was good WhiteDragon! Don't listen to the I enjoyed the detail in which you presented your story!!

[ondrahosek]

I also made a spoof, Episode 1 - The Phantom Mean A**. I learned how to use Flash MX while doing it. Anybody who wants to see it reply to this post and if at least 5 people want to I will upload it (QuickTime).

[XERXES]

where are teh cliff notes??

[SettingShadow]

LMAO.... Thats just to good....... I love it.

[Chewbacco]

I hope that you pasted that on. It's very Long.............. Jokes are good pretty funny.