here is an essay I wrote for an english class. I would appreciate any input y'all might have
[essay]
i m 1337 ma573R ph34R mi 5ki11z
by Colin Siple
It’s a cold night on Nar Shadaa. You grip your Tenloss Disruptor Rifle. The cool metal chills your hand. You look around the corner and see your opponent’s base. There’s already some fighting going on. Carefully you take aim and charge up for disintegration. Then you hear it! From right above you someone shouts a battle cry! WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO! You look up in time to see Maximus Descimus Meridius falling straight towards you. You duck out of the way just as he lands. His legs crunch from the force of the fall, but it will take much more then than to stop Maximus. You draw your lightsaber and prepare to fight but you know that Maximus has already won. You feel his icy touch as he uses the Force to grip your throat. Bones in your neck crack. Blood surges to your eyes and your head feels like it’s going to explode. But that’s not what’s going to kill you. You watch helplessly as he dangles you over the edge of the skywalk you once stood on. ‘If only I had a heavy repeater’ you think, and then he lets go. The fall is quiet and calm but your mind is screaming. You finally hit the ground and die. That was the last frag. As the scores come up you see, with no surprise, that Maximus Descimus Meridius won the game again with a ridiculously high score.
“Maximus rules all!” he yells in the chat. After you reply with a series of four letter words you disconnect from the server.
Lots of people who play me feel like that. Whether it’s Jedi Outcast, Red Faction, or Global Operations, I kick butt in multiplayer games. As the introduction shows, me in an online game = absolute ownage. My ability to adapt to the control, resistance, special moves/powers, terrain, weapons, items, etc, as well as my opponent’s weaknesses and tendencies allows me to quickly take control of nearly any game I play. A good example of this is the very first time I played Red Faction online I did so well that three clans tried to recruit me. It was the same with Delta Force: Land Warrior, Jedi Outcast, Global Operations, and Delta Force: Black Hawk Down.
8:00 AM: I get up and turn on the computer. Some people drink coffee in the morning, some people have sex, some people eat breakfast, some people have sex while they eat breakfast. But I play games. There’s nothing like waking up and killing things.
In a majority of the games I play, a lot of my kills are generated from my accuracy at sniping. An example would be this:
Jedi Outcast: CTF Nar Shadaa... “The blue team has stolen the flag.” The automated voice sounded the warning, our flag had just been stolen. With elite precision I leapt to the upper levels and grabbed a Tenloss, turned, activated the scope and charged a shot, and fired. My target disintegrated dropping the stolen flag. All of which took place in two and a half seconds.
“Wow, nice shot.”
“Damn you’re good.”
“May I worship you, oh sniping God?”
“F*cking f*g n00b! F*cking fight me without a f*cking Disruptor rifle, f*cking *sshole!”
My teammates congratulate me on such a great shot as the guy I killed insults me for not killing him in a different way. Heh heh, dumbass.
11:27 AM: After having my fill of Jedi Outcast, I move on to Red Faction, another good sniping game...
Red Faction: CTF WWII... Crackow! A shot echoed through the night air. I clutched my USG-50 Ultor Sniper Rifle. My teammates were dropping like flies. There were at least three snipers, maybe more, I would need to be fast. I peaked around the bunker I was taking cover behind. My appearance was met with a shower of bullets. I ducked into the trenches behind the bunker and made my way to a sand dune. Now most snipers will find the highest point on a map and snipe from there. This works just fine and dandy when nobody’s watching the sniping hot spots. That’s why a good sniper (me) can use any area on any given map. Thus I moved to the side of the dune, not the top. They weren’t looking at the side. All I could see was the crest of my opponent’s helmet, but that was more that enough. Crackow! One down, two to go. If a sniper wants to live past his first kill, he doesn’t shoots twice from the same location. I moved to the bunker I was hiding behind before. My opponents were now watching the dune I had just struck from. My second shot was easy. Anticipating another shot from the dune, my opponents had relocated to the safer side of their dune. But now they were both wide open. I aimed. Crackow! A head shot. Quickly I targeted the other. Crackow! Being a hasty shot, it hit him in the torso. But it was enough. Another game won.
1:46 PM: Enough Red Faction, it’s lunch time. After eating it’s time for more games:
Global Operations: Sri Lanka... Sometimes a sniper does not have one of their most critical tools... a scope. This is the situation I found myself in. With my scopeless AK-47 I made my way up the waterfall. Then I saw it, the perfect shot. A sniper in the bunker above was aiming down at the base of the waterfall, oblivious to my presence. I had all the time in the world to take a shot. But without a scope and using an inaccurate AK-47, the shot was nearly impossible. But I still took aim and fired. The bullet struck him in the head, an instant kill. “WOOT! I’M THE MAN! WHO KICKS SO MUCH AS-“ my celebratory yelling was cut short by a guy shooting me in the back. Hey, I never said I was immortal.
But it’s not all sniping. To do well in any team based game you must learn to work well with your team. Cover men in the field, help your fallen comrades, protect the flag bearer, lend arms and ammunition, add your thoughts to a situation, and do everything in your power to help each other out. Even if it’s only moral support. Naturally I am very good at this. I can join a team that has not won a single game and turn it around into a winner.
6:56 PM: After passing out on the keyboard for a few hours (I don’t get much sleep), I wake up in the mood for more Jedi Outcast. Team based games are fun and all, but sometimes you just want to own everyone. Enter ‘Free For All’:
Jedi Outcast: FFA Bespin Exhaust Shafts... ‘This is too easy’ I said to myself as I gripped my umpteenth opponent into oblivion. Lightsabers, Trip Mines, Bryar Pistols, Blaster Rifles, Heavy Repeaters, FC-1s, Thermal Detonators, Bowcasters, Disruptor Rifles, Det Packs, the Dark Side of the Force, 48 frags, and seven minutes later, I was at the top of the scores and my opponents were getting tired of dying. The guy in second place had 16 frags to my 48. Now they started teaming me. Three or four guys attacking me at the same time. Too bad for them they’re sUXX0r n00bs. A few medium DFAs and my score is now 57 to 16. And then one little n00b tries to kick me from the server. I laugh “MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”, yell “Maximus rules all!”, and leave for a more challenging server.
11:23 PM: Time for bed. But first a closing paragraph:
So whether it’s Red Faction, Jedi Outcast, Global Operations, Delta Force: Land Warrior or Black Hawk Down. Whether you’re playing against Maximus Descimus Meridius (the name I used to use in Jedi Outcast), Blackhawk (the name I use in Red Faction and both Delta Forces), Calvin the Brave (the name I use in Global Operations) or [LF][YS]greedo626 (the name I now use in Jedi Outcast), you’re going to loose because i m 1337 m4573R, ph34R mi 5ki11z! [/essay]
I'm not sure if everyone's going to read it or just the teacher. but I'd just like to know your thoughts before I hand it in
thanks.
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